Soulmate
Soulmate
“Why?” Was the first thing Noah Puckerman asked. Of all places, he had driven Zaylee Lutuka to the parking lot right behind McKinley- that of Coleridge Elementary, where she and he both attended school at one point or another. The tiny [at least, compared to how big it once felt] brick building was all closed up for vacation. Even the playground was deserted in the summer heat. A warm breeze blew past and ruffled Zaylee’s hair as she and Puck sat facing each other, Indian style, on top of his car. Zaylee fiddled with a piece of grass.
Puck was more than her friend, that much was sure. They had this connection that could never be denied- though they never physically acted on it. But Zaylee trusted Puck. She told him everything. He was her guardian angel. Today, she finally told him about her cutting.
“It’s easy.” Zaylee answered. “They think they know everything I do. They think they have such a control over me. I guess this shows how wrong they are. They don’t see as much as they think they do.”
“Or should.” Puck added.
“Or just as much as they think they do.” Zaylee repeated firmly. “Puck, they’ve had every opportunity to see it. It’s the middle of summer… I walk around the house in a bikini all day, for Pete’s sake.”
“I don’t see how they couldn’t notice. I’d notice immediately.” He paused briefly. “And not just because there’s a cute girl walking around in a swim suit.”
“But no one sees it, Puck.” She pulled herself into her knees. “Not even when they were new.”
“New? Zaylee, how long has this been going on?”
This is when she got quiet. She could lie; she could tell him this was the first time. The last thing Zaylee wanted to do was scare him and have him run away. But, something in Puck’s ever-brown eyes told her to trust him. So she did.
“A few months” She whispered.
“How often?”
“It changes.” She replied. “Sometimes I’ll go two or three weeks without even thinking about it… other times, I’ll do it everyday.” She swallowed hard, afraid that each word was like a land mine that will blow him up and take him away right now.
Nothing. He stayed.
The glare from the sun reflecting off of the car roof was beginning to get to Zaylee. She turned to face the school, her back towards Puck.
He scooted towards her and she unraveled from her feeble position. Carefully, he reached for the hem of her shirt.
“Is this… OK?” He asked cautiously. She nodded, watching her bare toes trace hearts on the dirt of his windshield.
He lifted the shirt from behind Zaylee and slid it smoothly over her head. She felt the beating heat of the sun on her shoulders. Puck traced his finger up and down her sides, where all her cuts laid, and rested his chin on her shoulder.
“I’m so sorry, Zee.” He whispered in her ear. “Just the idea that you feel the need to do this to yourself tears me apart. If I had only known-“
“Stop.” Zaylee said. She turned and cupped his face in the palm of her hand. He looked older in this light. His beard scruff felt coarse, yet the skin by his temple was smooth and soft.
“You can’t put any of this on yourself.” She shook her head sadly and looked into his eyes. “If you try to take the fall for this in anyway whatsoever, I swear I’ll regret ever letting you find out.”
“Am I the only one?” He asked, taking her hand in his and holding it towards his chest. “The only one who knows, that is?”
She nodded. “Yes. And can I trust you to keep it that way?”
He was hesitant.
“Please, Puck.” She breathed, nuzzling her face into his neck. He placed a gentle hand on her back. The way his touch made her spine tremble was so strong she clutched her shirt which was still balled up on the roof of the car.
“I won’t tell a soul,” He promised. His lips moved over her hair like water. “As long as you swear to me that you will talk to me the next time you feel like doing this. And every time after that. You mean the world to me, Zaylee Lutuka, and if anything ever hurt you I would never be able to forgive myself. Something about you keeps me stable. It keeps me from regretting because I know that no matter what decision I once made, I would never go back and do it over if it meant losing you. I need you, Zee.”
“You have no idea how much this means to me right now.” Zaylee admitted, sitting back up but no farther than two inches away from his delicate lips. “That we can still be here like this, after everything. I think, Puck… I lov-“
A deep and fervent kiss cut her off mid-word. She laid back onto the roof of the car, the deep navy metal had absorbed so much sun her back seared and burned at the touch, but none of that compared to the way her insides smoldered for Puck. As her hand slid up to the back of his neck, the cuts surrounding her body suddenly felt like they had disappeared. She felt clean, even human, for the first time in months. And she owed everything to Noah Puckerman.
The scent of the hazy summer afternoon danced in time with the familiar smell of cigarettes and Winter fresh gum and invaded her nostrils like sweet remedy. Puck’s rough palms handled her slender body with ease. He swiftly secured an arm under her legs and lifted her up off the car. He managed to get the two of them into the back seat without breaking the kiss.
His body and Zaylee’s were in perfect time, never skipping a beat. Her hips moved, his mirrored. His legs found a spot to rest, hers found a way to entwine with them. It was as if their bodies could do whatever they wanted, and their brains was just along for the ride.
Every time one of them went to say something, they were quickly cut off by another kiss, each one more passionate than the last. Puck- the boy who had been there from the start- held all of Zaylee secrets now. The least she could do was give him the rest of her too.
“I love you.” Puck managed to get out quickly before Zaylee took him over in another embrace.
She was too speechless to reply with anything more than a small nod and a whisper. “I love you too.” Puck looked at her the way nobody ever had before and sje never wanted it to end. She was almost sad when he closed his eyes and started kissing her again…
But only almost.
Maybe Zaylee’s problems weren’t going to go away that day, or even ever. This was life and she had important things to work through- things to fix about herself.
But by her side she had Noah Puckerman, and somehow that told her she’d get through it all just fine. Everything in the world seemed conquerable when she was with her soulmate.
Puck was more than her friend, that much was sure. They had this connection that could never be denied- though they never physically acted on it. But Zaylee trusted Puck. She told him everything. He was her guardian angel. Today, she finally told him about her cutting.
“It’s easy.” Zaylee answered. “They think they know everything I do. They think they have such a control over me. I guess this shows how wrong they are. They don’t see as much as they think they do.”
“Or should.” Puck added.
“Or just as much as they think they do.” Zaylee repeated firmly. “Puck, they’ve had every opportunity to see it. It’s the middle of summer… I walk around the house in a bikini all day, for Pete’s sake.”
“I don’t see how they couldn’t notice. I’d notice immediately.” He paused briefly. “And not just because there’s a cute girl walking around in a swim suit.”
“But no one sees it, Puck.” She pulled herself into her knees. “Not even when they were new.”
“New? Zaylee, how long has this been going on?”
This is when she got quiet. She could lie; she could tell him this was the first time. The last thing Zaylee wanted to do was scare him and have him run away. But, something in Puck’s ever-brown eyes told her to trust him. So she did.
“A few months” She whispered.
“How often?”
“It changes.” She replied. “Sometimes I’ll go two or three weeks without even thinking about it… other times, I’ll do it everyday.” She swallowed hard, afraid that each word was like a land mine that will blow him up and take him away right now.
Nothing. He stayed.
The glare from the sun reflecting off of the car roof was beginning to get to Zaylee. She turned to face the school, her back towards Puck.
He scooted towards her and she unraveled from her feeble position. Carefully, he reached for the hem of her shirt.
“Is this… OK?” He asked cautiously. She nodded, watching her bare toes trace hearts on the dirt of his windshield.
He lifted the shirt from behind Zaylee and slid it smoothly over her head. She felt the beating heat of the sun on her shoulders. Puck traced his finger up and down her sides, where all her cuts laid, and rested his chin on her shoulder.
“I’m so sorry, Zee.” He whispered in her ear. “Just the idea that you feel the need to do this to yourself tears me apart. If I had only known-“
“Stop.” Zaylee said. She turned and cupped his face in the palm of her hand. He looked older in this light. His beard scruff felt coarse, yet the skin by his temple was smooth and soft.
“You can’t put any of this on yourself.” She shook her head sadly and looked into his eyes. “If you try to take the fall for this in anyway whatsoever, I swear I’ll regret ever letting you find out.”
“Am I the only one?” He asked, taking her hand in his and holding it towards his chest. “The only one who knows, that is?”
She nodded. “Yes. And can I trust you to keep it that way?”
He was hesitant.
“Please, Puck.” She breathed, nuzzling her face into his neck. He placed a gentle hand on her back. The way his touch made her spine tremble was so strong she clutched her shirt which was still balled up on the roof of the car.
“I won’t tell a soul,” He promised. His lips moved over her hair like water. “As long as you swear to me that you will talk to me the next time you feel like doing this. And every time after that. You mean the world to me, Zaylee Lutuka, and if anything ever hurt you I would never be able to forgive myself. Something about you keeps me stable. It keeps me from regretting because I know that no matter what decision I once made, I would never go back and do it over if it meant losing you. I need you, Zee.”
“You have no idea how much this means to me right now.” Zaylee admitted, sitting back up but no farther than two inches away from his delicate lips. “That we can still be here like this, after everything. I think, Puck… I lov-“
A deep and fervent kiss cut her off mid-word. She laid back onto the roof of the car, the deep navy metal had absorbed so much sun her back seared and burned at the touch, but none of that compared to the way her insides smoldered for Puck. As her hand slid up to the back of his neck, the cuts surrounding her body suddenly felt like they had disappeared. She felt clean, even human, for the first time in months. And she owed everything to Noah Puckerman.
The scent of the hazy summer afternoon danced in time with the familiar smell of cigarettes and Winter fresh gum and invaded her nostrils like sweet remedy. Puck’s rough palms handled her slender body with ease. He swiftly secured an arm under her legs and lifted her up off the car. He managed to get the two of them into the back seat without breaking the kiss.
His body and Zaylee’s were in perfect time, never skipping a beat. Her hips moved, his mirrored. His legs found a spot to rest, hers found a way to entwine with them. It was as if their bodies could do whatever they wanted, and their brains was just along for the ride.
Every time one of them went to say something, they were quickly cut off by another kiss, each one more passionate than the last. Puck- the boy who had been there from the start- held all of Zaylee secrets now. The least she could do was give him the rest of her too.
“I love you.” Puck managed to get out quickly before Zaylee took him over in another embrace.
She was too speechless to reply with anything more than a small nod and a whisper. “I love you too.” Puck looked at her the way nobody ever had before and sje never wanted it to end. She was almost sad when he closed his eyes and started kissing her again…
But only almost.
Maybe Zaylee’s problems weren’t going to go away that day, or even ever. This was life and she had important things to work through- things to fix about herself.
But by her side she had Noah Puckerman, and somehow that told her she’d get through it all just fine. Everything in the world seemed conquerable when she was with her soulmate.