The Thrill Is Gone

“You sure you’re doing alright over there, chunky butt? Everything okay?” he inquired from his place behind the desk. “Because, uh, I just wanted to let you know that if you’re not feeling up to being there or if you want to come home, that you can just tell me and I’ll go ahead and book a flight for you.”

“Luis, I’m fine, really.” Paulina assured him, doing her best to convey her sincerity with a smile. “Everything’s great on this end. I seriously have nothing to complain about.”

“You sure?” he asked, unconvinced. “Because those pictures from April –”

“Those pictures don’t matter anymore,” she stated, cutting him off. “I know that probably doesn’t make any sense, what with the sort of pictures that they were, but when I say that they don’t matter, I mean it.”

“But –”

“I know you’re gonna say something regarding my self-respect.” She knew that was what her brother was playing at. It was the damn Balcázar pride that had him ready to go on about the importance of self-respect and self-love. “And believe me, I get why you feel the need to have this conversation.”

“Then let’s have it.” Luis stated, scooting closer towards the laptop on his desk. “Let’s talk about this, because I don’t understand how you’ve moved on from this. It just doesn’t seem like something you’d do. I mean, I remember how wild you went when Joaquin started grinding with that one chick up in Palo Alto. You nearly threw down over that, and they were just dancing in a club. So I don’t get how it is that you went so crazy over that, but you’re alright with what Harry did.”

“It’s not that I’m alright with what he did.”

“Then what is it?” he pressed. “What’s different this time around? Because he wasn’t just dancing with some girl, he had her straddling him with her tits in his face.”

“I know,” she sighed. “Believe me, I know.”

“Then why’s it alright?”

“It’s not that it’s alright.” Paulina shifted nervously in her seat. “Every single time that I saw those pictures, I was furious, but I had to be reasonable about it. I’m the one that left England. I’m the one that put him in a position where if he wanted to dance with someone, he was going to have to dance with a stranger.”

“Come on, Paulin, don’t make excuses for him.”

“I’m just telling it like it is. If I hadn’t left in England, he wouldn’t have been dancing and grinding on those women. For those instances, I’ll make excuses for him, but I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that the tits were my fault. He did that because he wasn’t thinking right. And believe me when I say that I gave him hell over that. I was furious when I saw those pictures. For fucks sake, I was so mad that I broke up with him.”

“You did?”

She nodded. “Hell yeah, I did. You insult me by thinking that I wouldn’t. I know that I’m with him now and that I never told you guys about the break up, but I ended things. Honestly Luis, do you really think that I’m the kind of person that would just be alright over her boyfriend having some stranger’s tits in his face? Because you better than anyone know that I’m not down for that. It’s one thing if he’s at a strip club, and some woman that’s trying to pay the bills is at it, but it’s a different thing completely when some fucking socialite skank is trying to get at him. And I made that clear to him. When I saw those pictures, I fucking lost it. And you can tell the family that, because they’ve been nagging at me, acting like I just rolled on my back and forgave him like nothing happened, but that’s not how things went down. We had our fight, we broke up, we went through hell over that, but now . . . now, we’re working on things. Things are by no means perfect. I’m freaking out over how things are gonna be once school starts up again, but I’m happy. I’m genuinely pleased by how things are going for us now. And I get that you all want to dislike him for what happened, but I just have to ask you not to.”

“But he was going around dancing and having tits in his face!”

“He was.” Paulina agreed. “But what I’m trying to get at is the fact that he never cheated on me. He never made out with anyone, he never took anyone home. He grinded on a bunch of people, felt them up a little, but he never cheated. Not once did he fuck anyone or make out with them. He flirted like crazy, and yeah, he had tits in his face, but he didn’t cheat. And that’s what matters to me,” she paused, letting the words sink in. “And I hope that you’ll get over this, because my güerito isn’t going anywhere.”

He wasn’t pleased by what he was hearing. Like the rest of his family, Luis was against his sisters continued involvement with the prince. The Balcázars didn’t like the fact that Harry had been running around London with scantily clad women or the fact that he’d had a topless woman sitting on his lap. They saw all that as a lack of respect towards Paulina, but as much as they currently disliked him, they knew that extensive arguments on the subject wouldn’t do any good, because if there was one thing that they were all certain of, it was that Paulina was hardheaded. She was as stubborn as her brothers, as fierce as her mother, and as determined as her father. And while she was good about respecting her family’s wishes, there were also moments in which she endured their disapproval to get what she wanted, and they all knew that Harry was going to be one of those instances. Harry was going to be in her life for as long as she wanted. Their opinions weren’t going to be enough to change her mind. If she loved him, then she loved him, and they all had to get used to the idea and hope that in the future things would be better, because if they didn’t, they’d have to endure an irritable and confrontational Paulina.

“Well, alright then,” said a defeated Luis. “But if anything happens, just let me know and I’ll sort things out, because in the end, all I want is for you to be comfortable and happy.”

“I am happy,” she told him. “And I know that what I’m gonna say isn’t going to make much sense, but what happened in April . . . well, it was worth it.”

“The fuck?” he blurted out.

“What I’m trying to say is that things are better now.” Paulina stated, wanting to do away with the look of confusion on her brother’s face. “After everything we’ve been through, all the fighting and whatnot, our respect for each other has grown and we’re not taking things for granted anymore.”

“I want to believe that. I really fucking do, but I can’t forget that time when you were sobbing and called me up. Now whenever I don’t hear from you, I can’t help but wonder if he’s making you cry.”

“He’s not.” Paulina assured. “He’s making me smile.”

“You’re not just saying that, are you?”

“Of course not,” had Luis been in the same room as her, she would’ve placed her hand atop his and given it a gentle squeeze, but sadly he was back at his office in California, and she was in London. “If I was miserable, I wouldn’t be here. We both know that I’m far too proud for that. I would’ve told him to fuck off and gone back to California, but as strange as it must be to hear, I’m happy. What happened in April was nothing more than a rough patch that our relationship went through. And I don’t want to make it seem like Harry’s the only one to blame, I wasn’t a saint either. We’re both guilty of not having been at our best, but we’re better now. We’re striving to be better each and every day. And so far that’s working out for us. I’m even getting along more with his family. Things are just fantastic with them.”

“What’s going on with them?”

“I’ve met everyone,” she informed him. “Well, not everyone in the royal family, but his immediate aunts, uncles, and cousins, I’ve met. And if you must know, even his grandmother is warming up to me more.”

“What’s the Queen doing?” he asked, hesitantly. “You know I don’t trust that woman. She talked a lot of shit about you.”

“That was only natural.” Paulina felt strangely protective of the Queen. “I mean, I am American. And they haven’t had the best track record with Americans over there, so she was just being cautious, but whatever, what I was gonna say is that she invited me over to her castle for a few days.”

“No fucking way!” Luis exclaimed. “She fucking invited you over?”

Paulina nodded. “She still hasn’t told me which days I’ll be over, but she said that she’d send a note along shortly.” She took in the look of utter disbelief on her brother’s face. “I told you things are going great over here.”

“I didn’t think they’d be going so great.”

“Well, they are.” Paulina smiled affectionately at her brother. “And I’d really appreciate it if you let mom and dad and our brothers know that, because even though I reassure them of that whenever we talk, I don’t really think they believe me. I think they think that I’m just being stubborn about not wanting to admit that things are bad, but things are at a good place right now. So please, please don’t worry about me.”

“It’s hard not to.” Luis leant back. “Anywhere you go, there are cameras waiting. You’re constantly being stalked and harassed, and I worry that maybe one day someone is gonna cross the line.” He let out a frustrated sigh. “Those fuckers already broke into your apartment at Oxford.”

“But I sued.” Paulina reminded. “And I won, which made it clear to those fuckers that they can stalk me, but that the moment they cross the line, I will ruin them.”

“Still though, things would be so much fucking easier if he weren’t a prince.”

“They would.” She agreed. “Everything would be so much easier if he was normal, but he’s not. So there’s no pointing dwelling on what life would be like if his dad was a teacher or an accountant instead of the future king. His dad’s going to be king, he’s a prince, and despite all the inconveniences that arise from his being a prince, I love him. And I think that’s all that matters, because at the end of the day, he’s not Prince Henry of Wales to me, he’s my güerito.”

“And what’ll that make you in the future?”

“That’s for the future to decide.” Paulina tucked a strand of dark brown hair behind her ear. “Hey Luis, I hate to cut our Skype session short, but I’ve got to get going.”

“Why? You late for a tea party?” he teased. “Gonna go eat some crumpets and biscuits?”

“For your information, I’m having lunch with Alfred and Olivia.” Paulina informed him. “Well, not just lunch. We’re gonna spend the entire afternoon together since I don’t have to be back until the evening.”

“They’ve got you on a schedule?” Luis nearly laughed.

“Don’t be daft.” Though in truth, when she was a guest at the royal residences, they did have her on a schedule. They had everyone on a schedule. “I just want to be back before Harry returns from his meetings with the Air Corps people.”

“Is he already at that? Didn’t he just graduate?”

“He did, but he wants to get started on the next phase of his training as soon as possible, So they’ve had him going to meetings for the last couple of days, just to work out the specifics, like where he’s going to live, what his schedule will be like. You know, all that stuff so he’s out and I’ve been pretty free with my days which has been fun, because I get to spend time on my own. The other day, I went out with Kate which was lovely, and then yesterday I was out with Zara and Beatrice and Eugenie, and now today I get to see my friends, so I’m excited. Ah!” she exclaimed when she saw what time it was. “Fucking hell, I’ve got to get going. It was great talking to you, Luis! I’ll Skype you tomorrow, send me a text when you’ve got free time and I’ll get on. Fuck. That reminds me, can I ask a favor?”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Can you try and, uh, smooth things over so mom and dad and everyone else aren’t as hostile towards Harry as they currently are, because I get their distrust, I really do, but, um, they need to get over it.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Luis promised. “Just don’t have him on Skype when you talk to mom and dad. You know how they are. Remember how mom got when that girl broke up with Adrian in high school and that bitch started telling everyone that he was limp dicked?”

“Is mom that pissed off?”

Luis nodded. “Not exactly that pissed off, but she’s definitely upset. They’re taking what happened as an insult to you, and you know how we fucking are. If there’s one fault that every Balcázar has it’s the damn pride. If there’s a slight, oh, fuck that, we take that shit personally. We might not always overreact, we might keep quiet about it, but something always happens there.”

“Are you trying to tell me that mom and dad are scheming? Because they better not be!” she bellowed. “I swear if they think they’re gonna get involved in this, then they’re seriously mistaken.”

“Calm your ass down.” Luis ordered. “They’re not gonna fucking do anything. Dad wanted to tell you that you had to break up with Harry and come home, but then mom told him not to hardheaded, because that would only cause trouble between you and them.. So don’t worry about that. They’re not gonna do anything other than nag on you. So just give ‘em some time and they’ll be set. It’s not like they have any other choice. You’re twenty-five years old now. You’re not a fucking kid. You know what’s good for you and what’s not.”

“You’re the only one in the family that seems to realize that.”

“That’s because no one else wants to really come to terms with the fact that you’ve grown up on us. I mean, dad gave you the bottle and all, but he’s still holding out hope that you’re his little girl that’ll stay at home.”

“Luis –”

“I know you’re not, Paulin.” Luis said in a softer voice. “Azusa isn’t home anymore. We might pretend it is, and we really want it to be, but we all know where your heart is. And that’s where you’re home.”