The Thrill Is Gone

She wasn’t unconscious for long. Not even a minute passed before she woke of her own accord. Harry barely had time to reposition her so she was lying on her back before she regained consciousness. In fact, he was actually in the midst of unzipping her jacket when her eyes fluttered open, and when he heard her softly call his name, he froze. There was a moment of doubt in which he thought he was imagining things. There was no way she could be awake so soon, but when he turned to look at her, he saw her staring back at him. She was confused, that much was obvious, but she was awake, and it took everything he had to keep himself from sweeping her into his arms.

He knew she needed space and plenty of fresh air, so he unzipped and unbuttoned her jacket and then proceeded to fan her with his hand. It was an odd sight, seeing him like that, but he gladly fanned her and whispered reassuring words. He told her everything was alright, that she hadn’t been unconscious for long. That he’d get the blood off her face as soon as he could, and that he’d have a doctor wait on her when they got back to the castle. He promised that he’d get her home alright and stay beside her all through the evening, and when the others reached them and began asking what had happened, Harry told them to stay back because she needed her space.

Understanding that she wasn’t fit for the return hike, Prince Philip had Denison get in contact with the security details at Balmoral so they could send a vehicle for her. Within twenty minutes, a Range Rover driven by Alistair arrived with Her Majesty’s private nurse. Her Majesty had already sent to have her Scottish Physician called for, and he would attend to Paulina as soon as she arrived back at the castle, but since she wanted to give her the best medical attention from the start, she sent her nurse, knowing full well that the woman would tend to the young American with the same diligence that she attended the Queen.

“I’m going to need you to sit up, Miss.” The nurse spoke. “Hold on there, not to fast, there’s no need for that. Let’s take our time. Slowly . . . just a bit more . . . there we are. Now hold that position, alright? Now tell me, are you feeling nausea? Experiencing any headaches?”

“No, Ma’am.” Paulina replied as she stared at the middle aged woman.

“Very good, Miss.” The nurse took out a flashlight. “I’m going to need you to open up your eyes and stare into the flashlight. Okay? I want to make sure you’re not suffering from a concussion so please do look in here.” She shined the light on each eye, and after assessing that there was no concussion to speak of, she placed back in her bag. “It appears there’s no concussion, which is fantastic news. Now tell me, does it hurt anywhere? I want you to be honest. There’s no need for fibs. I want to be able to help you, but in order to do so, you need to help me. What are you feeling? What hurts? I need to know so I can inform the Doctor when we return to Balmoral.”

“I’m okay,” she lied despite her queasiness. “Honest, I am. It’s only that I . . . I don’t know. The blood didn’t sit right with me. It was disgusting. And it’s still disgusting. I need to get it off, but I – I’m otherwise fine. The only problem is that I’m not a hunter. I don’t have the nerve for it. That’s why I fainted after getting the blood on me, because it’s not what I’m comfortable with.”

“That’s alright, Miss. I’ll have it off you in no time. I have wipes which will take if off, but I’m sure you’d prefer a good scrub. Here.” The nurse took out the wipes and began to remove the blood stains. “Was the blood the only portion that made you uncomfortable?”

“It was,” replied Paulina.

“Does that mean you’re accustomed to hiking such distances?” the nurse pressed.

“No. I can’t say I am.”

“Then perhaps the exhaustion might have contributed to your fainting. I only say so, because it is quite a common occurrence.”

“I don’t think that was it though.” Paulina argued. “My body felt okay after the hike. Was I a little tired? Of course, I’m not used to it, but I didn’t feel bad or anything. I honestly think it was the hunting that got to me. It’s just not . . . I don’t have the stomach for it and my body reacted accordingly.” She paused to take a deep breath. “Would it be okay if you keep questioning me in the car? I really just want to shower.”

“Of course, Miss.” The nurse stood up. “But we have to be careful with standing you up. You might feel alright, but sudden changes can have adverse effects, so slowly please. Up we go, take your time . . . brilliant. Now, let’s go carefully to the vehicle. We’re in no hurry, Miss. Do take your time. And once we get in, I want you to have a bit of water and food, because I know you’ve not eaten since breakfast.”

“But I’m not hungry.” Paulina said.

“Listen to her, darling.” Harry spoke up from beside her. “It’s best you have something to eat. It’ll even you out, make you feel better and all that.”

“I already feel better.” And she did. She just didn’t feel like she could hold down anything.

“Will you do it for me?” He knew that was the best way to get her to agree to it. “Ya don’t even have to eat a whole meal, just a bit.”

“Güerito . . .” she wanted to protest, but he was looking at her with those eyes and she knew she was going to give in. It was best to not even try to get out of it. “Okay, I will.”

“And to make sure you do, I’ll be there.”

She stopped walking. “You can’t leave though,” she told him. “You’ve been looking forward to this for months! And I know I messed it up and went crazy on you because this isn’t for me, but . . . but it’s for you. Does that make sense? I hope it does. I really do, because you love it out here. This is your element. And I don’t want you to have to back out early just because I couldn’t hang. That’s on me. Not you. So just stay. Yeah? Stay and have fun with your grandfather. I’ll be alright. I promise. The nurse said there’ll be a doctor waiting for me when I get to Balmoral. Not that I think I need one. I mean I feel okay, but they’ll be there and they’ll make sure I’m fine. You just stay out here and enjoy yourself. And I’ll –”

“Oi!” he cut her off. “I reckon it’s time ya calm yourself down, Paulin. I don’t want you getting all worked up. It’s not good for you.”

“Ruining your day isn’t good for me either.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. Your arse didn’t ruin my day. Ya fucking scared me, ya did, but you haven’t ruined anything. Well, anything except for my dreams of our brood getting out here before they’re teenagers. Because with your fainting, I doubt you’ll be keen on having them out here young.”

She couldn’t help but smile.

“There we go.” Harry grinned and lifted his hand to her face, gently cupping her cheek. “That’s a pretty smile.”

“I might not let them out there at all.” She found herself saying.

“You can’t say that.” He told her as he dropped his hand from her face. “You said thirteen. So thirteen it is. Now come on, we need to get you cleaned up and looked after. So let’s get your arse in the car. Don’t even try to complain! I see you wanting to, but don’t. I can go hunting whenever I like.”

“You sure?” she asked, hesitantly.

“Positive.” He told her. “In fact, I’ll go hunting once you’ve gone back to America. Is that alright with you, Granddad?”

“Of course it is.” Prince Philip spoke. “See Miss. Balcázar, no need to worry. Harry shall have his day out, but for now, you must be looked after. Do see to yourself and perhaps one day in the future, you can join us again.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever have the stomach for it, Sir.” Paulina replied, honestly.

“Perhaps not, but you can always join in on the hike. Or was the landscape not to your liking?” the elderly Prince asked.

“It was,” she quickly replied. “It’s beautiful out here.”

“Then you shall always be welcomed to accompany us.” And he smiled before turning to his grandson. “Do tell your grandmother that we shall arrive in time for dinner. And don’t worry about your trophy, I shall arrange for it to be taken.”

Believing his presence no longer necessary, Prince Philip returned to his former duties. His deer had already been field dressed by the Ghillie, so they needed to do the same to the one Harry shot, as well as Paulina’s.

While Prince Philip engaged in the more hands on portion of hunting, Harry helped Paulina get into the vehicle. He had to carry her up a small hill, not because she couldn’t make it, but because he refused to allow her to exert herself. It wasn’t exhausting though. He wasn’t concerned with how tired he was from the day; he just wanted to get her back to Balmoral as quick as he could. So he strapped her in and then went up front by Alistair so that the nurse could sit beside Paulina.

Throughout the drive, Paulina was asked a few more questions and she was also given a water bottle and a granola bar to even her out. Time and time again, she assured the nurse that she wasn’t fighting the stomach flu or any bug. She hadn’t been sick before then. Sure, there’d been a couple times when she’d thrown up in the last month, but that was just because she and Harry drank excessively from time to time, but it wasn’t anything serious. She was healthy. She’d been fine during the hike. Yes, she’d napped for a little while, but that was only natural, considering she wasn’t used to being so outdoorsy, but still the nurse fussed over her because she wanted to give the doctor a detailed report to go off of.

And when Paulina arrived at Balmoral, the doctor glanced at the report and then proceeded to make the same inquiries all over again. He asked if she’d been ill during the last few weeks or days, is she’d had anything to eat that she didn’t normally have, if she was on her period, if she was allergic to anything. He asked all the same questions, and did the same checks. He had her open her mouth up wide, he checked her ears, and he flashed a light on her eyes to make sure she didn’t have a concussion. He did everything that the nurse did, and in the end he came to the same conclusion that Paulina did.

“Ma’am, if you so desire I can take a blood sample from Miss Balcázar and have it analyzed, but I daresay there’s no need for such a measure.”

“Why do you say that, Dr. Findlay?” The Queen inquired.

“I have checked her vitals and everything’s as it should be. She has a strong heart, her eyes betrayed no sign of a concussion, her reflexes are altogether well, and this is actually the first time Miss Balcázar has ever fainted in her life. It’s not a common thing with her. If it were, I would have reason to suspect that there is something wrong, something worth investigating, but the truth of the matter is that she has a weak stomach. Not literally, of course. Her stomach is fine, but in regards to hunting, it made her uncomfortable. She confessed to me that she had no desire whatsoever to actually hit anything. She had intended to fail, but unfortunately for her, she wounded a deer and then had to kill it in close proximity. It was an emotionally exhausting task that proved to be too much. And I’d dare argue that she was also physically exhausted from the hike, since it is not something she often does.”

“I am pleased to hear that there was no medical reason for her fainting. And although I would prefer to have her further examined, I trust your professional opinion and therefore will not insist on having a blood sample taken.” The Queen replied. “But do tell me what is to be done for her.”

“A warm bath will do her right, and plenty of rest, Ma’am.” The Doctor advised. “I believe she ought to be excused from any further activities this evening. It is best she remain in bed.”

“So be it.” The Queen was already making arrangements in her mind. “And thank you for answering my call as promptly as you did.”

“There is no need to thank me, Ma’am,” Dr. Findlay assured. “It is always an honor to serve you.”

The Queen smiled. “I have one last question before you go.”

“Yes, Ma’am?” he asked.

“Is Miss Balcázar fit to ride tomorrow?” she felt almost silly asking such a question.

“I see no reason for her not to.” Dr. Findlay replied. “She is a healthy girl. Today quite took it out of her, but with rest, she’ll be ready for tomorrow.”

“I am delighted to hear it.” And this time she smiled a bit brighter, because she truly was delighted. “I shan’t keep you any longer, Dr. Findlay. Seonag is waiting outside and she will see you out.”

Mr. Findlay bowed reverently before exiting the bedroom. Just like the Queen had said, Seonag was waiting in the corridor to see him out. She wasn’t alone though, Harry was also out there, pacing anxiously. He had intended to be there throughout the examination. It only felt right that he be present in the room, but the Queen had insisted that he wait outside. It would’ve been inappropriate, she said. At that, Harry had to actively fight the urge to tell her that there wasn’t any part of Paulina that he hadn’t already seen. It was ridiculous to keep him out, but since Her Majesty had commanded it, he obeyed. But the moment that the door opened, he bolted straight to it and rushed inside.

“Harry!” exclaimed the Queen, disapprovingly. “Whatever are you doing?”

“What’d the doctor say?” he asked, ignoring his grandmother’s words.

“Harry . . .” she said in a warning tone. She didn’t want him in the room, not when Miss Balcázar was in the bathroom with Ainsley, who was running a bath for Paulina. “It is inappropriate for you to be here at the present. Wait outside. I will be there directly.”

“How is she?” He pressed. “She kept saying she was alright on the drive over, but I don’t reckon I believe her. She wouldn’t have fainted if she was alright. Did Findlay say what was wrong?”

“You stubborn child,” the Queen sighed. “Miss Balcázar is not ill.”

“But she fainted.” Harry reminded.

“Due to emotional exhaustion, as well as the fatigue brought on by the hike.” She explained. “Apparently, Miss Balcázar is ill suited for hunting. We shall endeavor to keep her from it in the future, but for now, you are to wait outside while I see to Miss Balcázar.”

“I can see to her.” Harry argued. “I know her better than you or Ainsley. I can take care of her.”

“That’s out of the question.”

“But I’ve done it before! Whenever she gets sick and I’m there, I look after her.”

“As pleased as I am to hear that you are a capable companion, I must insist you wait outside. I will inform you when you are allowed to enter. Now go.”

Like a petulant child, he stomped outside. He was relieved to hear that everything was alright, but displeased at the fact that he wasn’t allowed to look after his girlfriend. Little did he no, that Paulina would’ve killed to have had him in the bathroom with her. Ainsley had run the bath, but instead of leaving, she’d stayed in there. Ainsley had never done that before. Whenever Paulina showered or took a bath, she did it on her own, but according to the Queen, she wasn’t fit to be left on her own, she had to have assistance. And despite Paulina arguing that she was fine, that she could take a bath on her own, the Queen remained firm.

Ainsley was to help. She assisted Paulina in getting into the tub, she helped her wash her hair, and when the bath came to an end, she held the towel and helped Paulina wrap it around herself. It was a strange experience, one that she didn’t particularly care to repeat again. But she was touched that the Queen was taking such care of her. It was a bit excessive, there was no need for help in the tub, but it was nice to know that the Queen genuinely cared about her well being.

When Paulina entered the bedroom, the Queen was waiting for her. She was seated on the armchair, with her eyes slightly closed. It was at that moment that the Queen’s age was most apparent. She was an elderly woman who was tired from the long day. She’d spent the morning attending to business and the afternoon looking after Paulina’s well being. She looked the part of a grandmother whom was exhausted after a long day of fretting over a sick grandchild, and Paulina had to actively keep herself from hugging her, because strange as it was, rough as their relationship started, that woman on the armchair now meant something to her. She was an important person in her life.

Knowing that she shouldn’t address the Queen first, she opted to clear her throat. That way Her Majesty would know she was in the room. Sure enough when Paulina coughed, the Queen opened her eyes and acknowledged the young woman’s presence.

“How are you feeling?” The Queen inquired.

“A lot better,” replied Paulina, smiling as she approached the sitting area. “I just needed a warm bath to get the day off me. Not that the day was horrible. That is to say, I enjoyed the hiking. Venturing through the landscape was a true treat. It was all so beautiful, but the hunting . . . the hunting didn’t set well with me, and I really just needed to get it off.” She paused, unsure as to whether she ought to apologize. She’d already said I’m sorry to Harry and Prince Philip. But was it necessary to do so to the Queen as well? In the end, she did. “I’m sorry.”

“Whatever for?” asked the Queen, puzzled.

“For ruining the day and worrying you,” she said in a small voice. “I know you’re busy with pressing matters and I interrupted that with my fainting and you had to send for your doctor and I just ruined everything. I didn’t mean to. I promise I didn’t. I meant to get through the day. I was going to hike there and back, and I was going to shoot, I just wasn’t supposed to hit anything. And then I did.” Her bottom lip began to tremble. “I shot a deer, and . . . it didn’t feel right. That’s silly isn’t it? I’m an omnivore. I love meat! And I understand that animals have to die in order for me to get that meat, but I don’t know, killing it felt wrong and I . . .” she was rambling, and her rambling coupled with how tired she was made her burst into tears in front of the Queen. “. . . sorry . . .”

The Queen didn’t say anything. She simply stood up and led Paulina to the couch, and once the young woman was seated, the elderly monarch took a seat right next to her. And then she did something she’d never done before, she took both hand into her own and held them tenderly, in the same manner that she’d held Anne’s when she announced her intention to divorce her first husband.

“Now see here,” she said in a soft, yet authoritative tone. “There is no need for those tears or that apology.”

“But I –” Paulina began despite her tears.

“But nothing,” the Queen stated. “Hunting is simply not a pursuit you are keen on. It is a blood sport which you rather not participate in, and that is all that shall ever be said on the matter. So do not feel compelled to apologize. You need not.”

“But you all love it so much,” Paulina said in a small voice. “It’s Henry’s favorite thing to do. His brother loves it, so does his dad, and everyone else in the family! It’s something you’re all so passionate about, and I hate it, but at the same time, I don’t want to. Because if it’s so important to all of you, I feel like it should be important and meaningful to me, but it can’t be . . . I just don’t have it in me.”

“Not everyone in the family is keen on hunting.” The Queen hadn’t planned on bringing Diana into the conversation. She was a topic that the Queen preferred to steer clear of it, but the moment called for it. “His mother didn’t care for it at all.”

Paulina didn’t have to ask whose mother was being referred to. She knew it was Diana.

“She accompanied Charles on several outings. Never shot anything, of course, and she prided herself on that. She did not say as much, but one could tell. It was in her eyes. They were always so honest, particularly at that age. She was only a child, you see. And she’d gone an entire life without ever securing a kill at the hunt, but then one day, quite out of nowhere, she killed a beautiful stag. It was quite the accomplishment. We all congratulated her, but when she was bloodied . . . well, the poor child ran off in tears. After that, she never ventured out again. It was quite traumatic for her, something we understood. And we were fine with that. We respected her decision.” The Queen placed extra emphasis on the last two sentences. “A love of hunting is not a requirement for this life, dear. It is ideal, not necessary. What is necessary is riding.” She was joking then, and she hoped it would be taken as such. “So do rally tomorrow, because I will forgive your hatred of hunting, because although I am fond of it, it is not my absolute favorite. But I will not be as understanding when it comes to riding.”

“I can promise that I’ll mount, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to properly ride. Sitting on a horse is enough of an accomplishment for me.”

“But it will not be the only one. I shall have you ride, even if I have to use the same means I did with my grandchildren.”

“Does that mean I’ll be bribed with my own pony?” Paulina joked, finding it odd that she could be on such terms.

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” The Queen smiled warmly and gently squeezed Paulina’s hand before releasing them. “Now onto serious matters, the doctor left instructions for you.”

“He said I wasn’t sick though.”

“Be it as it may, he left instructions.” The Queen took the firm tone of a grandmother. “You are to remain on bed rest throughout the duration of the evening. I shall have dinner brought up to you, along with a selection of books that will be taken from my personal library. Is that agreeable? Or would you prefer to have a television brought in?”

“That won’t be necessary, Ma’am.” Paulina assured. “The books will be more than enough, and I have my laptop in case I want to watch anything.”

“Are you quite certain?”

“I am.” Paulina tucked a curl behind her ear. “I was wondering if I could ask for something.”

“Yes, of course, dear,” was the Queen’s reply.

“Would it be alright for Henry to keep me company? For a little while, that is. I know he can’t spend the night. It’d be rude and against your rules, but I’d be so very happy to have him spend part of the evening with me.”

“I suppose it could be arranged, though on condition that Ainsley be present. If that is agreeable to you, then Harry might be excused from dinner, but at ten o’clock sharp he is to leave.”

“Thank you so much, that’s more than agreeable to me.” Paulina smiled brightly. “Thank you.”

“Now that that has been arranged, I shall take my leave. Do not stand child, there is no need to see me out. We shall not stand upon ceremony tonight. That can wait until tomorrow.” The Queen had taken a few steps when she realized she hadn’t asked Paulina what she wanted to eat. “For dinner, is there anything in particular you would like to be served?”

“No, Ma’am.” Paulina replied from her place on the couch. “Whatever the chef’s preparing will surely be delicious.”

“You are aware that although you are not ill, you are – technically, speaking – unwell? And when one is unwell, it is only right that they are indulged.”

“I really am happy with whatever the chef makes. The food here never disappoints, but if you insist, I’d love some raspberry shortcake with vanilla or butter pecan ice cream.” Paulina felt strange telling the Queen what she wanted for dinner.

“Then you shall have it.” She smiled kindly. “You shall also have my grandson momentarily.”

It wasn’t long before Harry was in the bedroom with Paulina. The Queen had kept him from seeing her right away, because she wanted him to take her the books. So he accompanied his grandmother to the library and afterwards carried four novels back up the stairs for his girlfriend. He was pleased his grandmother allowed him to privately spend the evening with Paulina, even if it meant having Ainsley keep on eye on them from the couch. It was absurd, but it was the best they could do and when he stepped into the bedroom, his face lit up at the sight of his Paulina.

She was sitting in bed, talking with her parents. She figured since Harry wasn’t there, she ought to get the Skype conversation home out of the way. As usually, her parents were seated directly in front of the kitchen table and Luis was crouched down, trying to get in frame. They asked what she’d been up to, why she hadn’t called the last few days. She told them that things had gotten a little busy, they’d had to travel up to Torquay and then up north to Scotland and time just got away from her. Despite being the truth, her parents weren’t convinced. Her mother reminded her that she had to make more of an effort to call home, they missed her, and it wasn’t fair that she ignore them. Dramatics, always the dramatics, but Paulina simply reminded them that she’d be home soon and they’d have her lingering about for a month and a half.

When Harry entered the bedroom, she hurriedly told her parents that she had to get going. Harry mouthed that it was okay if she kept talking to them, he’d just wait his turn, but she ignored him. She was tired of talking. The only thing she really wanted was to lie in bed and chat with him, everything else could wait.

“Ya didn’t have to do that.” He told her as approached the bed.

“I know, but I was already done talking to them. My mom just wanted to drag it out to scold me a little.”

“What for?” asked Harry. “You’ve been good this whole time. We both have.”

“Exactly, but I don’t know, sometimes she just feels like nagging a bit. It’s alright though.” She closed her laptop and placed it on the nightstand beside the bed. “There. Now you can come up.” She paused, realizing it might not be permitted, and turned to Ainsley. “Ainsley?” she called. “Is it okay if Henry gets on the bed?”

“Her Majesty has permitted it so long as His Royal Highness remains above the covers.” Ainsley replied.

“Above the covers?” repeated Harry with a laugh. “I reckon I’m not trusted beneath them.”

“You’re not.” Paulina said with a smirk. “Now get over here, güerito. I missed you.”

“Well, since you insist . . .” Harry kicked off his shoes and then climbed into bed, settling down beside Paulina. “That reminds me. Gran sent these books for you.”

“Thank you.” She looked over the titles. “A book of poems and some novels, these will be good for the night.”

“Don’t you dare think your arse is going to stay up reading,” Harry said firmly. “You’ll be sleeping by ten. You’ve got to get your rest in.”

“But I’m fine,” she argued. “And I’m already resting. I’ve been resting this whole time.”

“Well, you’ve got to rest more.” He stated, very matter-of-factly. “Your arse scared me out there, and I won’t have that happen again, even if it means cancelling your riding lesson tomorrow.”

“I’m not cancelling that,” she said, quickly.

“Wait. What?” He arched his brow. “I reckon you’d be pleased by that.”

“If I hadn’t made a fool of myself today, I would’ve. As it is, I’m determined to ride, because if I can’t hunt, then I most certainly will ride.”

“Fucking hell, I reckon ya bumped your head out there. I’ll have to call Dr. Findlay back.” Harry teased.

“Very funny, wanker,” she playfully poked his stomach. “I mean it though. I’m at least gonna mount and get some walking action in. And don’t worry, I’ll be fine. What happened today was just me panicking. I’m not meant to hunt, and when I shot that poor deer, I felt like I killed Bambi’s mom, and it was just such a fucking mess, but I’m good now. I’m healthy. And Dr. Findlay says there isn’t anything wrong with me other than my weak American stomach.”

“That bastard did not say that!” Harry fought back a laugh.

“He did.” She insisted. “He said that I had a weak stomach, undoubtedly due to my country of origin.”

“Fucking Findlay!” he chuckled. “What a laugh!”

“It was pretty funny. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.” She rested her head on his chest and nestled into him. “Has your grandfather come back yet?”

“He has.” Harry confirmed. “Just got in a little while ago, took a bit longer than usual because they had to bring back all four deer. They tried bringing them in themselves, but eventually they caved and had a vehicle sent for.” He paused. “Granddad, uh, well, he had yours brought in. I told him you wouldn’t want it, but since it is yours – would you?”

“No.” She replied instantly. “You can have it.”

“Right then, I’ll make sure it’s seen to.” He realized how her face changed and deciding it was best to ignore that he said, “So where’s this poetry? I reckon I can have a go at it.”

Harry was awful at reading poetry. He didn’t place the right feeling into words, he lacked emphasis, and most of the time his face betrayed the fact that he felt it was a load of rubbish, but despite that, Paulina enjoyed listening to him. His voice was her favorite, and hearing him read Scottish poetry was a treat, even though Ainsley was fighting back the urge to shake her head and any other Scot would’ve surely torn the book from him, but he read on and she gazed intently all the while.

A short while later, dinner was brought up to them. It was served an entire hour earlier than it had been scheduled to, but considering the days occurrences, the Queen felt it impolite to keep her young guest waiting. It was when the dinner arrived that the young couple abandoned the bed. They went over to the seating area and were served, and it was at that point that Alistair entered the chambers. Ainsley was to go downstairs to eat since it was time for the staff to do so, and Alistair was to stay in her stead.

Alistair complimented Paulina on her recovery. He had, like everyone else, been worried about her health, but now that he saw her smiling brightly and giggling about, his fear was put to rest. What was left of the evening passed quietly, Ainsley returned to the chambers, and at ten o’clock, she asked Harry to leave. Under no other circumstances would’ve Ainsley have been bold enough to do so, but she’d been given strict instructions by the Queen, and she followed them to the word. Harry dutifully obeyed, though he first complained about the absurdity of it all and then gave Paulina a goodnight kiss before retreating to his own bedroom.

Since Ainsley had waited upon her all day, another housemaid took over for the night. She was a fair haired woman by the name of Megan, though Paulina didn’t know her name, because Megan walked in after Paulina fell asleep and left shortly before she woke. It was Ainsley that Paulina saw in the morning. Just like the previous day, she had pulled back the curtains and stood beside the bed, waking her. Paulina thanked Ainsley for having looked after her all night, and Ainsley nodded accordingly, thinking it best not to mention that a stranger had been in the room all night. Paulina was then changed into her riding attire, and was afterwards accompanied to the dining room where she breakfasted with the two Princes.

The previous day’s mishaps were not alluded to at the table. The Queen had told Prince Philip not to bring up the hunting trip in front of Paulina, and Harry just knew better than to do so. So the morning was spent discussing current events and whether so and so had a good shot at the title and whether or not the local highland games would be any good that year. Paulina was grateful that the Princes didn’t bring up her failed hunting excursion. She would’ve been glad to spend the entire day in their company, but shortly after breakfast, the Queen came downstairs and the women were soon off to the stables.

“Do not be alarmed, dear,” spoke the Queen when they reached the stables. “I have paired you with a most agreeable horse. To be sure, there is none so sweet tempered as darling Percival. He will do right by you. You simply need trust him.”

“I’ll certainly strive to do so.” Paulina assured. “But I have a feeling it’ll be a little tricky. I’ve had this fear in me since I was a kid. So it’s sort of been festering there, but I’m determined to overcome it. I shall prevail!”

“That’s the spirit, dear.” The Queen smiled proudly. “Now do come along. Simply standing outside the stables will not do. We must go forth and have you acquainted with Percival. It is terribly important that you establish a bond.”

It was important. Paulina recognized that, but it was a task easier said than done. It was hard enough to walk into the stables, let alone bond with a massive horse. Just how was she supposed to do that? Was she meant to feed him oats and apples? Perhaps, comb its hair as she had a one sided conversation? Were either of those the trick to bonding with horses? She wondered that as she followed the Queen inside. She hung back a few paces, believing that the few steps would help prepare her a little better. Breathe. Just breathe. That was what she had to do, and she focused on doing just that. The steady rhythm of her breathing helped soothe her nerves, but when they reached the area where the horses were being prepped, she inhaled sharply and stood still in the doorway.

It had been over a year since she’d last been that close to a horse. Ever since her failed attempt at mounting in Highgrove House, she’d steered clear of those beasts, but now she was there, staring up at that terrifying creature. Had she not been prejudiced against him, she would’ve seen his beauty. She would’ve seen that Percival was a majestic horse, worthy of any Knight of Camelot. She would’ve seen his kind eyes, his willingness to accept her. She would’ve seen that he was a horse without equal, a horse that had been carefully selected by Her Majesty, and had been transported from Windsor Castle to Balmoral, just for her. She would’ve seen all that, but the child within her saw the relative of the horse that had charged her when she was little, and she couldn’t bring herself to move forward.

“Dear, do come closer,” spoke the Queen, who had ventured all the way into the stables.

Her Majesty’s voice snapped Paulina out of her fear induced trance. She approached the area where the Queen stood, and was at that point introduced to the groom, who was charged with looking after the horses and who would join them in their afternoon outing. After making the introductions, the Queen produced a box that contained a helmet and gloves. They were gifts for Paulina, because the Queen refused to have her use the extras that were kept for ordinary company. She was to be spoiled and made to feel comfortable, because if she received gifts and had the experience made to feel specially tailored just for her, she’d end up being more willing to really get into it.

And the Queen was right. Paulina loved the helmet. She was absolutely beside herself when she saw that her name had been engraved onto the side of it. That wasn’t the only special touch; both gloves had her initials engraved on them. They were small details that most people would ignore, but Paulina was deeply touched by them. And when she finished slipping on her gloves, she took in a deep breath and walked right up to Percival. The walk itself might not have been the most confident walk, there certainly moments where she hesitated moving forward and closed her eyes just a bit, but what matters is that she got there. Her bottom lip might’ve been trembling terribly, but she was there, standing directly in front of the horse.

“Hello Percival,” she greeted him. “I feel like I should introduce myself and all that, but I think we need to get right to the point. I can’t fuck this up. I probably will, because I can feel my nerves conspiring against me. I mean, I already feel like crying because you’re just so damn big, but I can’t. You know? I can’t mess this up, because I already messed yesterday up. So I’m gonna put my personal feelings aside, and I’m gonna need you to do me a solid. Can you please? I mean, it’s not a huge favor. I just need you to promise that you’ll be nice.” Hesitantly, she raised her hand to his face. “Can you do that for me? I’ll love forever if you do. I just really need to get this right.” When her hand touched his cheek, she closed her eyes, expecting him to protest, but he nestled into her hand, accepting the caress. “Please be patient with me. It’s gonna be hard, but I’m gonna pull through. I know it.”

The conversation went unheard by the Queen. She’d gone to greet her own horse, and by the time she rejoined her young guest, Paulina had already stepped away from Percival. It was at that moment that the Queen went over the basics of riding. She spoke simply, just as she had with her children and grandchildren. She stressed the importance of trusting the horse, but of also exerting one’s authority over them, because after all, there is no point in riding if the rider does not have control. As the Queen spoke, Paulina did her best to soak up as much information as she possibly could, and she was grateful that the Queen was taking her time and phrasing things in the simplest way possible. The Queen’s words transformed horseback riding from an intimidating endeavor to a manageable task.

“Have you any questions?” inquired the Queen.

“None come to mind.” Paulina replied.

“Are you quite certain? I must stress that if you are uncertain of anything, this is the moment to tell me so. I do not want you mounting Percival if you do not feel that you can manage it with tolerable ease. The last thing I want is for you to be injured.”

“But you said he’s sweet tempered.”

“That he is. But his sweetness of character does not mean that you will be spared injury due to your own negligence or ignorance. Now I ask again, have you any questions?”

“None,” repeated Paulina. “I’ve internalized everything you said, and feel . . . well, I feel like I could have a go at it.”

“Then let’s,” and the Queen smiled brightly. “John, do bring the mounting block. Miss Balcázar and I, ride at once.”

Once the mounting blocks had been placed, the Queen mounted her horse with grace. The same could not be said of Paulina. It took four tries for her to successfully mount. The first time, she had the reins in her hand and was about to placed her foot in the stirrup, when quite suddenly, Percival neighed. At least, that’s what she imagined happened. In her mind, Percival neighed, wiggled about a bit, and she immediately released the reins and stumbled backwards, the only reason she didn’t fall off the mounting block was because John caught her. The second time, she had the reins in her hands, she even managed to get her foot in the stirrup, but when she moved to grab the pommel, she grabbed Percival’s hair. The horse didn’t react violently. Percival actually didn’t react at all. She was the one that let go and started rambling on about how sorry she was for yanking at his hair. The third attempt was a joke, because she was climbing up the mounting block when she suddenly felt she couldn’t. She then covered her hands with her eyes, and angrily cursed at herself in Spanish.

There were three failed attempts, three attempts that made the Queen question whether or not her guest would ever mount, but finally, Paulina regained her nerve, and with a determined look, she took the reins into her hands, she locked her foot into the stirrup, she grabbed the pommel and lifted herself up, she swung her legs over and then secured her ass onto the saddle. All that didn’t happen in one fluid movement. There were several pauses, several moments when she looked like she was about to cry and say fuck it all, but she pushed through. Her mind forced her to go through with it, because if she’d already made a mess of hunting, she wasn’t going to do the same with riding.

Once Paulina was up there, the Queen’s smile brightened. She uttered a few words of congratulations, the same she’d used when the little royals had been learning to ride, and then informed Paulina that they would be off on a light turn around the estate. There would be no fast paced galloping, only a slow paced trot. Although they might perhaps be able to take it up to cantering if she felt brave enough.

Believing that Paulina had taken in her words, the Queen set off. She assumed her young friend was following directly behind her, but after several yards she turned back, and found a pale faced Paulina sitting atop Percival. Mounting the horse had been trying enough on her. She knew it was childish, but she needed a little extra time to get used to being on a horse. She couldn’t go straight from mounting to riding. That was ludicrous! It’d be like a baby going from crawling to running all over the fucking place, and while sometimes it does feel like that’s how it goes, it’s not. There’s always an adjustment phase. And that was exactly what Paulina needed.

Five minutes on Percival would set her right. It’d make things easier. That was what she kept telling herself. If she just stayed up there for a bit, she’d summon the courage to go forth. It’d only be a matter of time before she got to it, but the Queen was afraid that despite Paulina’s willingness, her fears might get the best of her. After all, it was a fear that the young woman had been battling since childhood, she couldn’t be expected to overcome it in a day, not on her own at least. She needed a push. She needed to be shown that riding could be relaxing and agreeable, and knowing there was no other option, the Queen returned to the stables and dismounted.

“What are you doing?” Paulina blurted out, forgetting herself. “You shouldn’t have gotten off, Ma’am. I was gonna meet you out there. I only needed a moment.”

“That is a fib.” The Queen declared. “You were good enough to mount, but now your fears are threatening to get the best of you. And I daresay that if left to your own devices, you would remain in this exact position for the rest of the day, but as it were, I shall not permit that. Now give me those reins.”

“What?”

“The reins,” demanded the Queen as she held out her hand. It wasn’t long before Paulina handed them over. “Very well, now we can begin. Do not appear so frightened, dear. No harm shall come to you. I give you my word. We are simply going to take a turn about the estate.”

“But you’re not on a horse,” argued Paulina. “How are we gonna take a turn when you don’t have anything to take a turn with?”

“I have my legs.” The Queen stated as she caressed Percival. “And I shall make an avid rider out of you. Now let us be off. Come along, Percival. Be gentle. We have precious cargo.”

Precious cargo . . . those two words placed a massive grin on Paulina’s face. And for a moment, she forgot about the fact that she was sitting on a horse, she forgot about the fact that she was very high off the ground and she even forgot about that little voice in her head that kept whispering about how there was a chance she’d end up being thrown from the horse. For a moment, she forgot all that, and focused solely on the fact that the Queen had referred to her as precious cargo, and that there hadn’t even been the slightest hint of sarcasm in her tone. It was a momentous occasion, one that made her want to hop off the horse and hug the old woman tightly, but then the damn horse started moving and although its pace was slow, it unnerved her.
She shut her eyes tightly, believing that if she couldn’t see anything, she’d stop moving. That obviously didn’t happen. The horse kept moving at its slow pace and the Queen began to speak. She spoke mainly for her own pleasure. She spoke about the land, the rich history of the castle, of the improvements she’d made since it came into her possession. She kept a light tone, and it was the sound of her voice that made Paulina, open her eyes. The Queen’s voice had a strange soothing quality to it, and Paulina was drawn. At first, she focused solely on the Queen’s figure. She watched as the elderly woman led the horse with great ease, and after about ten minutes of that, she dared to look away from the Queen and out at the landscape.

And as strange as it was for her to think it, the view truly was better from up there. Needless to say, it wasn’t much longer before the pair returned to the stables so that the Queen could mount her own horse, but before the Queen did, she requested that John take a picture to commemorate the moment. The Queen smiled proudly, still holding the reigns, and Paulina grinned at the camera, unable to contain her blossoming affinity.

Despite being eager to get out there, Paulina was still nervous about her riding abilities, and as such, the Queen had John tie Paulina’s horse to his, that way he would be able to lead her, and the Queen would be at liberty to go a bit faster if she felt inclined to. She didn’t though. She wanted to share the experience with Paulina, to really be there throughout it all. And so she rode at her side, and they had a lengthy conversation that both women were deeply satisfied with. The Queen was genuinely impressed by Paulina. She’d known along that she was terribly bright, but she’d never really had the opportunity to engage in meaningful conversation with her. That is to say, meaningful conversation that was not in regards to her grandson or her dating a royal. This was the first time they discussed current events, something that the Queen rarely did. She wasn’t supposed to be political so she often hid her true feelings, but with Paulina, she discussed. She inquired as to how things were going in America, commented on how she felt the Americans ought to adopt a British medical system, and she told Paulina that she was highly pleased to see her doing so well for herself.

Those were compliments that stayed with Paulina long after the day had ended. They were what she thought on in the late hours of that night, and what she couldn’t wait to tell Harry about. She’d wanted to tell him when they got back in from their riding, but hadn’t had the opportunity. She’d been so busy with getting showered and dressed for dinner, and then Doctor Findlay and his wife had been invited to dine as thanks for having been so attentive to Paulina. The day had kept her from telling him, but early the next morning, when they were waiting for Prince Philip to arrive for breakfast, she recapped the outing with him, and at the end, told him that his grandmother had said she was pleased, which Harry understood to mean so much more. The Queen being pleased meant that the Queen was proud, that the Queen would not blush to ever be seen in public with her, that the Queen had accepted her as one of her own. And that was more than Harry had dreamed of. He’d known that his grandmother was keen on his girlfriend. He’d known that she regarded her highly, but it wasn’t until then that he realized just how far they’d come. They’d known each other for over two and a half years, had been officially a couple for nearly two, and now she’d been wholeheartedly accepted by his grandmother. Everything had finally come together. Now it was just a matter of neither of them fucking it up.