The Thrill Is Gone

The night had started off promisingly. They’d snogged. They’d laughed. They’d had a romantic fucking dinner. By all accounts, they were well on their way to shagging all bloody night, but then, just when the clothes were going to start coming off, it went to shit. The adorable act of tossing her onto the bed, set off a series of unfortunate events, which led to her throwing up in the bathroom and ultimately admitting to Harry that she was pregnant. And from there, things just got worse. They started having a go at each other. They were relatively tamed at first. She was struggling to convince him to own up to the pregnancy and raise the child with her, and he was voicing his uncertainties. He couldn’t go through with it. He couldn’t put a child through being a Royal bastard, but she was determined that he could. She wanted them to be a family. It didn’t matter if they’d conceived the child out of wedlock, all that mattered was that they were on their way, and she tried to convince Harry of that, she pleaded with him like there was no tomorrow, but in the end, her attempts failed.

In the end, they lost their tempers and said things that could never be taken back or forgotten. She called him a damn coward, he called her a naïve fool. Neither was satisfied with how things had turned out, but each was determined to have their way. That was why Harry rushed her. He thought that if he could just subdue her, everything would be okay. He just needed to keep her in the bedroom long enough to convince her to end the pregnancy, but unfortunately for Harry, her will was stronger. When he rushed her, she reacted in a manner that would’ve made her brothers and high school wrestling coaches proud. She threw him over her shoulder, and dislocated his shoulder.

It had happened so quickly and so effortlessly, that for a moment he didn’t even realize what had happened. One moment, he was rushing towards her, trying to knock her onto the ground, and the next, he was being slammed onto the hard ground. He knew she was strong. He’d seen her out on the rugby field, he’d heard stories about the old days when she wrestled and played football, but he’d never thought that she could hurt him. And yet there he was, lying on the ground with a dislocated shoulder that she had provided.

“Shh. Calm down, I’m gonna get Alistair for you,” she told him in an even voice. “Just stay here. Okay? Don’t move.”

“Paulin . . . darling, don’t go. Please don’t!” His vision was blinded by tears, but still he gazed up at her, foolishly believing that if he just held her gaze, she’d stay with him always.

There was a moment’s hesitation. He saw it on her face. It was clear that part of her wanted to stay with him, to look after him, but there was another that wanted to go. And he was afraid that she’d listen to it.

“I’m sorry for hurting you,” she said in a shaky voice. “But I can’t stay.”

“Like hell you can’t! You made this mess, you ought to see it through!”

“I could say the same of our child,” she countered. “Though I wouldn’t call her a mess.”

“Don’t –”

“Stay still!” she cut him off. “Alistair will be here soon.”

“You can’t leave me!” he said in a panic stricken voice.

“This is what you wanted!” she cried, the tears falling hard. “I told you to choose and you said –”

“I want you!” he bellowed, angrily.

“But you don’t want our daughter!” she snapped. “And as much as I love you, I love her more.”

That didn’t make any sense to him. He couldn’t understand how she could possibly love something that wasn’t really there. Sure, there was a fetus growing inside her, but they might never be born. Her body could miscarry. She might have a stillborn. So many things could go wrong, and there she was, throwing a two year relationship away over an uncertainty. He wanted to make her see how irrational she was being, he was determined to do so, but before he could say as much, she left.

She left him alone in that massive bedroom, lying on the hard ground with a dislocated shoulder. She abandoned him, and it wasn’t right. His Paulina wasn’t like that. His Paulina fussed over him and whenever he wasn’t feeling well, she looked after him until he was all better. That was what his Paulina always did, that was just the sort of person she was, and yet – yet, she’d run out on him. She’d chosen someone else over him, and even though it was his own flesh and blood, he was furious. She was supposed to love him more than anything. She was meant to be with him always. And she had promised that she would. So why the fuck did she leave? Why?

“Paulina!” he cried out in his desperation. “Don’t leave me! Ya can’t bloody leave me. I’m yours and you’re mine. Ya can’t leave behind what’s yours . . . ya can’t . . .”

It was then that a fresh wave of determination struck him. He was going to get his ass downstairs and force her to see reason, because he wasn’t willing to lose her. There was no way in hell he’d renounce their love. Surely, he could find a way to convince her to end the pregnancy, and once he did, things would go back to the way they were. She would finish her degree at Harvard, and the summer after she graduated, he would ask her to marry him and they would live happily ever after. Perhaps he was naïve in believing things would so easily come together, but in his mind, it would be that simple. In his mind, that was still very much a possibility. He just had to get up first. A task make difficult by his dislocated shoulder.

At first he tried to sit up, he figured his abdomen would do most of the work and spare his arms any pressure, but when he sat up, his dislocated arm fell backwards and he hissed in pain, and laid right back down. He then rolled onto his left side, which still hurt like hell, but it was a bit more manageable. From there, he intended to turn onto his belly and build up on his knees. It wasn’t easy as all that, because when he turned onto his belly, he was inadvertently pressing down his shoulder onto the flooring and well, needless to say, it led to his crying bitterly onto the ground.

“Fucking hell . . .”

His desperation was getting the best of him, and he began to think he’d never get off the fucking floor, but then he heard hurried steps coming from outside. And for a moment, his heart tricked him into believing that it was Paulina returning to him. Wanting to meet her, he gritted his teeth and began the painful process of getting onto his knees. His shoulder was killing him, and he was full on crying from pain, but he wasn’t going to stop. Not that time. Instead, he endured. He endured the wretched pain and when he was on his knees, he forced himself to stand, and when he was standing, he forced himself to walk. His steps were slow, the pain prevented him from moving at his regular speed, but still he moved on, determined to meet her at the top of the stairs, but when he walked out onto the corridor, he wasn’t greeted by her beloved face, he was met with Alistair’s.

“Where is she?” Harry croaked out. “She’s not left, has she? She threatened she would, but she can’t have. She can’t!” he was rambling on, not allowing an opportunity for Alistair to speak. “For fuck’s sake, where is she?”

“Downstairs, Sir.” Alistair replied. “And there is no danger of her leaving, not at present.”

“Then I’ll go to her.”

“You’re in no condition to do so.”

“Then bring her here!” cried Harry.

“Miss Balcázar has no desire to be in your company.”

“What’d you just say?”

“What you heard, Sir.” Alistair was trying to be dutiful, but he strongly disapproved of Harry’s comportment. “I have pacified Miss Balcázar, but she will not see you at present. Now if you will, return to the bedroom.”

“Like hell I will! If you’re not bringing her here, then I’m going to her! Now move!” Harry tried to move past him, but Alistair remained firm. “You’re meant to follow my orders!”

“I am meant to ensure your safety and wellbeing.” Alistair firmly stated. “Now return to the chambers or I shall see myself obligated to escort you inside.”

Harry’s eyes narrowed, but he did not move.

“Your Royal Highness,” began Alistair, “It is in your best interest to return to your chambers. The Doctor will be arriving momentarily and we must limit your mobility so as not to further strain your shoulder.”

“It’d a bloody dislocated shoulder! Quit acting like it’s a broken arm!” Harry spat, losing his patience. “And anyways, we’ve been through this before.”

“Be that as it may, I will not risk your wellbeing.”

“If she leaves, it’ll be on your head,” Harry threatened.

“Miss Balcázar has given her word to remain here.” Alistair stated. “And unlike some, she’s true to her word.”

“Was that a jab at me?”

“Return to the bedroom, Sir.”

“Not until you answer me!”

Understanding that Harry would not move on his own accord, Alistair grabbed him by his left arm and escorted him into the bedroom. He then sat Harry on the chaise, and took a place in front of the door.

“This is no way to treat a Prince!” Harry growled. “It’s not dignified.”

“Kamal will be in shortly with the Doctor,” spoke Alistair, completely ignoring Harry’s protests. “And once you have been properly seen to, you will be permitted to see Miss Balcázar if she so desires it.”

“Permitted?” repeated Harry. “Since when do I need permission to speak with her? She’s my bird!”

“That is hardly reason to go against her wishes.” Alistair said, curtly. “It is for her to decide whether or not a conversation will be had. You will not impose yourself on her. I will not permit it! Especially not while she’s in her current condition,” he hastily added.

“Her condition?” Harry’s eyes widened. “Do ya mean to say you know she’s pregnant? Were you eavesdropping?”

“I would never.” Alistair was offended by the accusation. “I was in the garden. It wasn’t until I heard your scream that I ran in, and when I reached the stairs, I was met by a sobbing Miss Balcázar. She was quite hysterical, mind you. And in her hurry to explain what happened, she let slip that she was with child. That is how I know, Sir.”

“What else did she let slip?” Harry inquired. “Tell me!”

“That she intended to leave and never return,” replied Alistair. “And while I am well aware that it is not for me to have an opinion, I will say this . . . you have not only greatly wronged her, but yourself.”

“I’ve not done a thing!” The anger within Harry came tumbling out. “It’s her! She’s the one that’s wronged me! She dislocated my fucking shoulder! That’s not the sort of thing you do to someone you love! You don’t go about flipping them over and slamming on the floor, but that’s exactly what she did! And she didn’t even have the decency to stay with me! She ran out and sent you. So don’t tell me I’ve wronged her. The only bloody thing I’ve done is love her.”

“If that were true, she would not be downstairs crying and you would not be in need of medical attention.”

“Oi!” bellowed Harry. “I’ll not have you questioning me like that! I know what I bloody well feel. I love . . .” his voice broke, and the tears that feel were no longer of pain, but sorrow. “ . . . I love her. There’s no doubting that. Alright? Ya can doubt everything else, but not that.”

“Then . . .” Alistair stopped short, afraid of saying what he thought “. . . then why weren’t you pleased?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean, Sir. Why the displeasure at such joyous news?”

“Are you daft?” Harry grew flustered. “You’re out of line, Alistair. You’ve no right to ask me that. And even if you did, it’s not good news. It’s the worst! I mean, she’s pregnant! Don’t you fucking understand that? There’s a Royal bastard in her belly!”

“I disagree.” Alistair firmly stated. “Your child is in her belly, not a Royal bastard.”

“And what am I? A Prince. And what do you call a baby that’s born outside marriage? A bastard. If ya fucking put them together, you get a Prince’s bastard. That’s what they are! That’s all they’ll ever be! Everyone will –”

“To hell with everyone!” Alistair couldn’t control himself. “The only person that matters is her. She is the woman you love, and you have had the good fortune of having her as the mother of your children. You have a chance at a proper family with her. Isn’t that enough, Sir?”

“It should be, but it’s not.”

“But it’s what you’ve dreamt of!” argued Alistair. “There have been countless nights in which I have stayed up with you, listening to your plans for the future. When she ended the relationship in May, you were inconsolable, and you explicitly told me that if she were to take you back, you would marry her one day. Why not today? Why not now?”

“It’s not that simple! If it were, I would’ve already asked her, but marrying her isn’t going to solve anything. It won’t make the child, legitimate. This isn’t Monaco, Alistair.” Harry pinched the bridge of his nose with his left hand, trying to physically fight back the tears. “And I’ve explained that to her. I’ve tried to make her understand, but she doesn’t get it. She thinks it’ll all sort itself out, reckon it’ll be fine in the long run, but it won’t. I know it won’t. This life – it’s not an easy one. You’ve seen what it’s like to grow up Royal. You’ve been at this with me for a long time. So imagine how much worse it’d be for a bastard. They won’t have the protection of Royalty, even though I’d be their father! They’ll be denied protection, but they’d still be subjected to the fucking press. How could I do that to someone? How can I send them out into the world without someone to look after them?” He gritted his teeth. “This is just fucked, Alistair. So very fucked.”

“Is it truly?” asked Alistair, though he desired no response. “Because the way I see it, there is hope. It might not appear so at present, but there is. You are correct in stating that the child will not be in line of succession, but they could be made legitimate, perhaps even given a smaller title.”

“You know as well as I that it’s not possible.”

“It is.” Alistair argued. “If you were to discuss the matter with Her Majesty, perhaps she could issue letters patent stating that upon marriage your child would be made legitimate and titled Lord or Lady. I don’t know much in the way of how the language would go, but she has the power.”

“She won’t do it though,” replied Harry, bitterly.

“Her Majesty is fond of Miss Balcázar.” Alistair reminded. “Perhaps that affection would lead her to –”

“She won’t do it!” snapped Harry. “How could you be so naïve to think she would? Do you honestly my Gran would be accepting of a bastard?”

“If it were a bastard from a one night stand, she wouldn’t, but this is a child with Miss Balcázar, this is a child with the woman whom she’s invited to stay at Balmoral. In such a case, I believe she would make an exception.”

“You’re a fool! As much of a fool as Paulina is, I’d wager.”

“Be that as it may, you should at least try.”

“There’s no point in trying.” Harry firmly stated.

“I disagree.” Alistair wasn’t letting go of this. “You owe it to Miss Balcázar.”

“There’s no point in it!” cried Harry, losing his temper. “You’re acting like something good could come from it, but asking would only make things worse because as soon as Gran finds out, I’m cut off!” He was so swept up in his emotions that he failed to notice the look of disgust Alistair shot him. “And don’t say I’m being dramatic, because I’m not! When I turned eighteen, she told me that if I ever had a bastard, she’d disinherit me. She said I’d never have another pound, and that even my father wouldn’t be able to give me anything from his estates. If she finds out about the child, I’ll be ruined Alistair.” He paused, and it was then that he noticed the way Alistair looked at him. “Why ya looking at me like that? Quit it! Bloody stop staring about like that!”

“I can’t, Sir.” Alistair replied. “This is the way I look at cowards.”

At that, Harry’s face flushed violently.

“Apologize,” he said in a deathly low voice.

“I am an honest man,” said Alistair. “I will not apologize if I do not mean it. You are a coward, Sir. Of that, there is no doubt.”

“You better not be here after my shoulder’s fixed, because I am going to beat the shit out of you.”

“Since you have now scheduled me to a beating, I shall earn it and truly speak freely.” Alistair stepped away from the door and walked right up to Harry. ”I have dedicated the last thirteen years of my life to you, and never have I been more disappointed than I am now. Others have disapproved of you, they have stated that you are unfit to be a Prince, but I have always disagreed, because I saw a kind hearted boy grow up to be a brave man that served his Queen and Country. Were there drunken incidents? Of course, but that is to be expected of a man of your standing. So I looked passed all those nights when I had to carry you into your bedroom and change you out of your clothes, I looked passed the drugs, even when you put on that Nazi uniform, I blamed it on the fact that I was off duty. I have made excuses for you, because I have believed you to be an extraordinary man with such potential. When you started your own charity, I was so proud. And perhaps that might not mean anything to you because I am the help, but seeing you take charge, it was wonderful. And I thought, there he is, coming into his own . . . there he is, proving to everyone that he is a good sort of man.” His voice slightly broke towards the end. “But I was mistaken. A good man would not abandon the woman he loves, especially not when she is with child! A good man would stay at her side, even if it brought about financial difficulties.”

“Easy for you to say! You’ve never been in that situation!” Harry shot back. “You’ve no wife or children. You’re all alone, Alistair!”

“I wasn’t always!” snapped Alistair.

“What?” Harry was unsure if he’d heard right.

In thirteen years, he’d never known Alistair to be in a serious relationship and he most certainly knew that Alistair didn’t have children. As far as Harry was concerned, he was Alistair’s life. That’s why he was always with him.

“I . . .” he took a deep breath. He never talked about it if he could help it. It’d been fifteen years, but the wound had not yet healed, and he doubted it ever would. “ . . . I had a wife once, and a little one, a girl named Lillian, though I always called her Lily. She was a beauty like her mum she was, but she didn’t come at a good time. I hate to say it, because I do love her, but I just wasn’t ready. I was only sixteen when Nicole got pregnant.”

Harry parted his lips to say something, but he was in such shock that he couldn’t speak. He never thought that Alistair had a life outside him. Sure, he knew Alistair had a mum and dad and a few brothers, but he never thought he could have a past like the one he was hearing.

“You talk about being scared about being cut off, but even if you were, you’d still have a good salary from the military to live on. You could easily support a family on that, ya wouldn’t have these luxuries of course, but you’d have a lovely house and you’d even have enough to go on holidays. I sound mental, don’t I? Talking about like this, but the thing is you don’t know what it’s like to have a child on the way with no money,” Alistair went on. “I do. Sixteen bloody years old I was, I’d never had a proper job, but suddenly, Nicole was pregnant, and I did what any man with a shred of honor would’ve done, I married her. We couldn’t have our own place, there was no money for that, so we lived with my parents and I worked at a shop because the Whiskey factory wasn’t hiring. I remember being so mad about that. If I’d have had that job, everything would’ve been alright, but they were well stocked with workers and I had to get on with life. So I worked at a shop and went to school and helped Nicole, and then when Lily was born, the money wasn’t enough so I worked at a shop and I worked at another shop, and my parents helped, but I wanted to take care of them on my own. I wanted to feed my own family and give them a home, so I joined the military. As soon as I turned eighteen, I joined the Royal Marines. And I did well for myself, by the time I was 24, I was a captain and had bought a little house for me and my girls, and Nicole was pregnant with another, and this time, I wouldn’t be panicking about how I’d pay for formula and nappies, this time we had enough for little Ava.”

“Did Nicole . . . did she leave with your girls?” asked Harry, hesitantly.

“If that had been it, it would’ve been alright. I could’ve still seen my girls, I could’ve seen Nicole, but, uh, no, she didn’t leave. She was taken from me.” Alistair’s nostrils flared, and a few tears slipped out. “She took Lily with her to the doctors. She was seven months pregnant so she was going so the Doctor could see everything was okay, and I was meant to go, but I told her I’d go in a separate car because I had to do something at the bank that morning. And well, uh, I got to the hospital, but she didn’t. It was ten in the bloody morning and some bastard had already had enough to be proper drunk, and well . . . he . . .” He looked away, and was silent for several minutes. “When I tell you that you’re being a coward, it’s because I’ve been where you are, Sir. Sure, I’m no Prince, but I was a sixteen year old with a baby on the way. I had no money, no means to support myself or Nicole or Lily, but I still got on with it, because I wasn’t about to leave Nicole to fend herself. I went without new clothes and shoes for a long time, what I got for birthdays and Christmas’ were all I wore for about three years. I put myself last to make sure my girls were taken care of, and let me tell you this, I don’t regret it. I don’t regret not having been able to go out with my mates or having gotten smashed at pubs. I had a wife whom I loved with all my heart and a little girl that was dearer to me than myself and I had Ava on the way . . . I had it all and I lost it, because some bastard decided that he was alright enough to drive.”

“Alistair, I had no idea . . .”

“Of course ya didn’t. I never talk about it. I don’t like to. It’s like relieving the damn thing all over again, but I just wanted you to understand where I was coming from. I just wanted you to know it’s worth it. And it’s not like you’re a sixteen year old with no job, you’re twenty-five with a military income. You can support a family without having to go without. And I understand that the prospect of losing your wealth and status is terrifying, but think of what you’ll get if you do. You’ll have a wife who adores you and a little one, and if you’re lucky, it’ll be a girl. I know men are supposed to want lads to carry on the name, but my Lily was my light. Holding her in my arms, even though I’d just gotten off a long shift at the shop, was the happiest I’ve ever been. I’ll never be happier than I was then. And I want you to know that feeling, Sir. I want you to hold your little one. I want you to have what I had.”

“There’s nothing I’d like more, but how could I? This is what I know. It’s all I’ve ever known. And to give it up? I just . . .”

“Perhaps Her Majesty will take pity.”

“She won’t,” Harry sniffled. “She’s a woman of her word, Alistair.”

“Then give it up. It’s only money. Your father will still be your father. Your brother will always be at your side. William will never turn his back on you, Harry. Your family will always be there, it’s only you won’t have their luxuries, but that’s alright. You’ll manage. You’ll have your own little family to look after and a military career. That’s all you’ve ever wanted. I’ve heard you say as much.”

“Alistair . . .”

“The other option is that you let her go, Sir. She leaves and you never see her again, and you’ll be miserable. And you might think it’ll get better in a month or two, but it won’t. I lost my wife and daughters, fifteen years ago. It hasn’t gotten better. I’ve given up hope it will.” That was an admission Alistair had never made aloud. “But I get on with life, because in you I have found a reason to keep going. I started with you when you were twelve, nearly thirteen, I’ve been there through it all with you, and it’s been a privilege. I’ve had a life that others only dream of, but I would give it all up to have one more day with them. I don’t mean to offend you, but I would. And I think that if you were to let her leave, then in a few years’ time, you’d be sitting in a palace, thinking the same.”

“I . . . I know you’re right, but I’m just – this isn’t what I wanted! We were supposed to be married first and then she’d get used to the Royal Duties, and then we’d have little ones. I didn’t want things to be this way. I don’t want it like this!”

“You might not be happy with it, but this is how things are. Now it is for you to choose what path you will take, and I will support you regardless. Though I will try to the last to convince you to make a life with her, because I have been with you for thirteen years, and I have never seen you happier than when you are with her.”

“If I go with her, I have to give you up. I won’t be able to afford –”

“You offend me if you think that I will stay away simply because I am no longer your protection officer.” Alistair smiled. “You gave my life purpose. Before I became your PO, I had lost the house, I had given up in my military career, and was going to put an end to everything, but I had a friend who was high ranking in the Protection Command. He refused to see me defeated and assisted me in coming back to life, and in time, I found my way to you, and I have taken care of you with a great deal of pride, and although it is not professional to admit, I would give my life for you, not because it is my duty, but because I care deeply for you. So believe me when I say that I shall always be a part of your life, for so long as you desire me to.”

“Fucking Alistair . . .” Harry was crying again. “Why do you have to be such a good man? And why the hell do you make me want to be a better one?” With his good hand, he wiped away some of the tears. “You’re right, absolutely right. I’m bloody terrified, but you’re right, and I know you’re right and I know what I want. And God help me, I know what I need to do.” He took in a deep breath. “Now do I have to wait for the Doctor or can I head down?”

“We do have to wait for the Doctor. Don’t worry though, Miss Balcázar isn’t going anywhere.”

A short while later, Kamal finally arrived with the Doctor Mertens. They did their best to be discreet about it, the Doctor wore a hat so as to not be properly recognized and he shielded his medical bag from view, but even then, the press went wild. They recognized Kamal, and when they saw entering the house with the unfamiliar man, the speculating began. Thankfully though, it was late at night and there were no cameras from proper news channels, there were only tabloid photographers.

The moment that Harry saw the Doctor, his face lit up. Soon enough he could go downstairs and make things right, soon enough, he’d be holding the mother of his child. The Doctor not only worked quickly, but efficiently. The injury inflicted had been an anterior dislocation, and after checking the area in question, the Doctor deemed that no surgery would be necessary. It would be fixed using a method of closed reduction, but before doing so, the Doctor gave Harry an anti-inflammatory pain killer to make the process less painful. Once the medication was taken, he began to gently maneuver the arm to perform Kocher’s method for reduction.

“There you are, Sir.” The Doctor told Harry upon finishing. “Everything is where it ought to be, though I recommend we immobilize your arm for a few days. A sling should do the job nicely, it’ll allow your shoulder to recover properly, and in three days’ time, I shall very much like to pay a visit to ensure there have been no complications.”

“Do you have the sling at the ready?” inquired Harry. “I don’t mean to be rude, not when you’ve come out in the middle of the night, but I’d much appreciate if we could hurry this along. I’ve something that needs doing.”

“Certainly, Sir.” The Doctor took out the sling from his bag. “This will only take a moment, and when I finish, I will leave medication to bring down the swelling and manage the pain, though I don’t believe it to be necessary. I simply recommend it if you so see fit to use it.” He finished securing the sling. “I have finished, Sir.”

“Thank you very much,” said Harry, making an effort to smile. “I won’t forget your attentiveness, Doctor Mertens.”

“It is always an honor to serve you, Sir.” Doctor Mertens returned the smile. “Now I daresay you are quite at liberty to go downstairs, though be mindful not to move your arm or shoulder much. It might feel fine, but it needs time to properly recover.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t be using it.” Harry stood up, and was relieved that he could do so without being bombarded by pain. “Good night, Doctor. Kamal will see you home.” He then turned to Alistair. “Come on then, Alistair.”

The pair wasted no time in making their way out to the garden. Harry questioned Alistair as to what Paulina had told him, he wanted to get a feel for how Paulina was, but unfortunately, there wasn’t much for Alistair to say. He’d already told Harry that Paulina had been upset and has spoken about returning to America. It hurt Harry to hear her say that she wanted to go back to California, but he knew that after he spoke to her, she’d stay in England with him. He was now willing to take on the world with her, and he just hoped he wasn’t too late.

When Harry and Alistair entered the garden, they expected to see Paulina right away, but she was nowhere to be found. Harry instantly went into panic, he was afraid that she’d slipped out when Alistair had gone upstairs and he immediately began telling off Alistair, calling him irresponsible. Alistair didn’t take offense to the scolding, he knew in his heart that Paulina was still there, she had promised to remain at the house until he returned with her belongings, and it wasn’t like she could leave without her passport and wallet. It was just a matter of finding her, she was somewhere in the garden, and she would be located.

For her part, Paulina was lying down by the small butterfly garden. She’d gotten off the phone with Alfred only a few minutes earlier, and not wanting to go back into the house, she decided that resting by the flowers would do her well, and it was. After she’d gotten off the phone, she was struck with a terrible crying induced headache, and since she couldn’t take any medication she figured that the best thing for her to do would be to remain in the dark, and so she did just that. She lay down on the cool earth, she closed her eyes, and when the comforting scent of the flowers struck her, she began to feel better. Everything was going to be okay, it wouldn’t be like she’d imagined, but she’d get through it. She was a Balcázar, after all, and Balcázars always see things through. For now, she just had to worry about keeping herself together and getting home, and once she landed safely in California, she’d worry about the rest.

It was from that position that she first heard Alistair’s voice. She’d begun to doze off, so when she heard him, she wasn’t sure if it had been real life or a dream, but when he called her name a bit louder, she realized that he was actually there. Her eyes instantly snapped wide open. He’d come back to her! He’d come back and he most likely had her bag, so now she’d be able to leave, but before she replied to his shouts, she heard Harry’s voice.

“Alistair!” he cried. “I bloody well told you she’d take off! But no, you insisted that she’d stay. Do you see her anywhere? Do you still think she’s bloody her? Because I reckon she’s not! I reckon she left as soon as you went upstairs and you’ve wasted my bloody time.”

“She promised to remain, Sir.” Alistair responded. “Miss Balcázar is a woman of her word, I am certain she had not left.”

“Then where is she?” snapped Harry. “If you’re so certain she’s here, find her! Because she can’t bloody leave! I need to talk to her! I need her here!”

“I will find her, Sir. I will bring her to you.”

At those words, Paulina froze. Alistair had promised he wouldn’t betray her, and yet there he stood, telling Harry that he would fetch her for him. What had changed his mind? Or had he always intended to go back on his word? She didn’t have much time to ponder that, because her survival instincts soon kicked in. She was fairly far back in the garden, the back wall was only about ten or so feet from where she stood, so she had to get from there, to the house without being seen. She thought about simply making a run for it, but Alistair was faster and stronger than her. He could easily overpower her. So she was going to have to be a little sneakier and hope for the best. To that end, she decided that she would remain close to the ground and simply crawl for as long as she could. The flowers and shrubberies would help shield her, she was just going to have to do her best to not make any unnecessary noise, otherwise that’d be the end for her.

“Virgencita, por favor no me abandones (Virgin Mary, please don’t abandon me).”

She closed her eyes and then did the sign of the cross. She was as ready as she would ever be, and with great effort, she rolled onto her belly and began to slowly crawl back to the house. How babies made it look so easy was beyond her, she wasn’t in the mood to crawl around, throwing up had left her weak and all the fighting and crying made her want to pass out for a few days, but despite her upset stomach and the ache in her arms, she pushed on, because she wasn’t doing things for herself, she was doing them for Thea.

As Paulina crawled towards the house, Alistair and Harry continued to search for her. They called her name and scanned the garden for her, but she remained low to the ground and was doing a good job of not making unnecessary noise. If she just kept it up, she might even be able to run upstairs to get her passport and bags, then she wouldn’t have to bother with going to the passport and calling Professor Warren for help. She hoped to be that discreet in her escape, and she was that discreet for most of it, but then the garden ended, then there were no more flowers or shrubs or trees to shield her from view. She was out in the open, and she had to act quickly. There was only one thing to do, that much she knew, but she really didn’t want to be bothered by it. Running wasn’t the sort of thing she was in the mood for. In fact, even walking was tiresome, especially after having cried and fought and crawled all that while, but as she looked out onto the patio area, she knew she was going to have to do it. It was the only way that she’d be able to make it into the house.

It was with that thought that she got off her knees, and when she was standing straight up, she took off. It would’ve been great had she been as quiet running as she had been crawling, but that obviously wasn’t the case. She didn’t make an obscene amount of nose, when she was going over the grass and pavement, it was hardly noticeable over Alistair and Harry’s incessant shouting, but when she was making hey way past the patio furniture, she failed to notice that one of the chairs wasn’t all the way in, and she had the good fortune of knocking that fucking chair over.

That was the moment it all went to shit. The noise immediately captured Harry and Alistair’s attention, their head’s snapped in its direction and when they saw Paulina standing there, they didn’t bother themselves with calling out to her, they just ran. Neither of them realized how terrifying it must’ve been for her to see two grown men running towards her, especially two grown men that weighed more than her and literally towered over her. In that moment, they were a nightmare come true, and for a moment, she allowed herself to be paralyzed by fear. She stood wide eyed, staring on in horror as the two men grew ever closer. What was she supposed to do? Did she still have a chance of making it out or should she just make it easier on all of them by giving it up?

No.

She could never do that, even if they were destined to overpower her, she couldn’t make it easy on them. If they were going to take her, it’d be against her will and she would most certainly give them hell.

So determined to put as much distance between herself and them, she pushed on. She could hear them shouting after her, imploring that she stop, but the only reply they got was a middle finger. When she got into the house, she locked the door behind her, hoping to keep them outside long enough for her to get out of the house. Where she’d go from there, she wasn’t sure, Alfred had been in the middle of a shower when she called, so it was going to be awhile before he got there. She just knew that she had to get out. If worse came to worse, she’d hide in someone’s garden or in between cars. She’d manage. She just needed the opportunity. So she locked the door, and continued on, firmly believing that no one else was in the house. She didn’t know that Kamal and Doctor Mertens were there. As far as she knew, they’d never shown up. That was why she was very much surprised when she ran into Kamal in the entryway.

“Miss Balcázar,” he said in a genuinely surprised tone. “Is everything alright? You look quite done for.”

“Move,” she said, breathlessly. “Please move, Kamal.”

“I will not, Miss.” He firmly replied. “It would be –”

“I said move!” she shouted. “And when you see Harry, tell him to leave me alone! I’m going back to America, and for all I care, he can go fuck himself.”

“What’s happened, Miss? Why are you acting this –?”

“Kamal!” bellowed Harry. They’d manage to get into the house, although the door would certainly have to be replaced. “Don’t let her go! Stop her!”

Kamal was conflicted as to what to do, but the look of distress on her face tugged at his heartstrings. Harry was far enough away to not see them, and it was a good thing to, otherwise he would’ve seen Kamal motion for Paulina to leave. She was grateful to him, and kissed his cheek in thanks, and as soon as her lips parted with his face, she took off running again. She ran right out the front door, into the night. She ran down the stairs that led up to the entrance, she threw open the gate and then made a right to run towards where the paparazzi weren’t gathered about. She ran and she ran, and all the while, Harry chased after her, cursing her for being such an idiot. He wasn’t trying to convince her to have an abortion anymore, he was just trying to tell her that he wanted to be there for her and the baby, he was just trying to tell her that he wanted a family with her, but she was running. She was running because she thought that if she didn’t, that would be the end of Thea.

It was absurd for her to care so much about someone that might never be, but her heart with Thea’s. And she was willing to do anything to keep her safe, so she pushed on and when Harry grew close enough for her to feel his fingertips brushing ever so slightly against her back, she responded by abandoning the sidewalk and running onto the street. She was under the delusion that if she could get to the other side, she’d be okay. Everything would work itself out once she was there, and she was so utterly focused on getting there, that she failed to notice the Aston Martin speeding away from its parking.