The Thrill Is Gone

The autumn passed quietly enough. There were no new scandals, no further altercations with the press. They had, to an extent, learned to give the young American space, albeit not as much as she would’ve liked, but infinitely more than they had in the past. Now whenever she stepped out into the open, they kept a decent distance between themselves and her, about a foot between them. She was grateful for that foot, glad that the cameras were no longer shoved just a couple of inches from her face, but even then, there were moments when she wanted nothing more than to tell them off for following her around.

It was exhausting having to deal with them at all hours, especially since she had a full course load, duties as a Rhodes Scholar to attend to, volunteer work, tutoring, friends, and a relationship with Harry that she had to balance. Most of the time, she was running on three or four hours of sleep, she’d become a pro at taking ten-fifteen minute naps between lectures, and at doing work on the ride over to London whenever Harry sent Alistair to pick her up. It was a difficult time for her, she wanted to be able to keep doing everything as she had the previous year, but now that the media was involved, her stress increased accordingly.

Now it wasn’t just students that were trying to get her to tutor them in Spanish, it was journalist who posed as students and attempted to lure her into a false sense of comfort in order to try to sneak personal questions into their conversations. She was good about never giving anything away, having made a promise to herself that the only people she’d tell specifics of her relationship to were Olivia and Alfred, but even then, she left a few things out, preferring to keep some things secret.

But the press didn’t stop there, they followed her around on campus, to the library, to the buildings, and even some of the students had started using their phones to snap shots of her around campus and sell them to the tabloids. In early November, someone in one of her lectures had taken a picture of her napping in her chair, that picture sold for a couple hundred pounds and ended up on the cover of a tabloid. She was humiliated that someone had taken that picture. What kind of a dick did that? Honestly, students doze in and out of lectures all the time, but someone had decided that it would make a good picture, took the shot, and then made her feel like such shit that she went up to the professor to apologize for having dozed off. The professor hadn’t scolded her for it, but he did scold his students, and imposed a rule banning all use of cell phones and laptops. He’d said that if they were going to use those devices to take pictures of their fellow classmate, then they had lost the privilege to use them.

A few of her other professors imposed similar bans. They were fed up of seeing students trying (and failing) to discreetly take pictures of Paulina. They’d thought that students at Oxford would’ve been above that, but it turned out that money always had a strong hold over college students, especially since books and tuition were so fucking expensive. So Paulina was safe during lectures, but she was a moving target whenever she was around campus. The only place outside of lectures that she was safe at was Rhodes House. None of the Rhodes Scholars tried taking pictures of her. They were all living in Oxford on a generous stipend that the Trust provided them, and thought that taking pictures of her and selling them for money would reflect badly upon them, so they respected her privacy in that sense, but tried to befriend her in hopes of rubbing shoulders with royalty.

Paulina didn’t befriend them though. She was polite, an amiable enough acquaintance, but the only friends she had were the ones she’d made during her time as a normal students. The lads she played rugby with, were her most trusted companions, none of them ever spoke to the press other than to tell them to bugger off, and none of them ever sold pictures of her, even though they’d received generous offers. It was upon them, and upon Olivia and Alfred that her trust rested. And they were the only ones she ever hung out with. She didn’t want to make friends with people who would only like her because of who her boyfriend was. She was fed up of strangers saving her seats, inviting her to join their study groups or asking her to hang out during Rhodes events. They were so fake, and sometimes, even with her guard up, she found herself thinking that they actually wanted to be friends with her, but she’d always regain her wits about her because she had to be cautious. That was just one of the sacrifices she had to make as a result of her relationship with Harry, but it was worth it.

Spending time with him, even if it was just around her flat, was worth dealing with the press and her fellow students. He had a way of making her feel like she was walking on air, and she’d gladly brave whatever she had to in order to keep feeling that way.

Her parents were aware of the sacrifices their daughter was making to be with Harry. They listened to her cry as she complained about how old friends from high school had sold pictures of her to the media, they heard her cry as she rambled about how some of the people from Stanford that she’d really cared about had put a price on their friendship by selling pictures and gifts she’d given them to the press. Not all of her old friends had turned on her, most of them had kept their mouths shut, but it still hurt to know that some of the people that she’d really cared about had betrayed her like that. And it hurt Irmalinda and Ricardo, to hear that their daughter’s friends, that the kids whom had gone over to the house to watch movies and eat, had turned their backs on her like that.

There were times when they asked her if she didn’t think it wise to end things with Harry just to get some sense of normality back into her life, but each time they asked that, she would get on the defensive and say that there was no way she was breaking up with Harry. She loved him, and that was all there was to it. They knew to respect her decision, even if they weren’t particularly thrilled, they knew they had to respect it, but they were worried about what the future held for her, because at some point, Harry and her were either going to break up or move onto something more serious. And as much as they knew she loved him, as much as they heard that he loved her, they didn’t want her to forget her own dreams to follow him into the monarchy. Though they only ever discussed that between themselves, because to even mention that to her would have been disastrous. They just hoped that in the end, their daughter would be able to accomplish all the goals she’d set for herself when she was little.

And she would, that is to say, she was certain that at some point, she would. She was already on the right track. She’d graduated summa cum laude from Stanford, and was well on her way to graduating with first class honours from Oxford. Academically speaking, she couldn’t have been doing better. And outside of the classroom, she had already made a great impression on Senator Kennedy, he’d been so taken by her that he’d help set her up with lawyers for her News of the World case, and she was in regular communication with Gloria Allred, whom had offered her an internship for whenever she was back in California. Paulina was exactly where she needed to be at that moment in her life. And she’d sent out her applications to Harvard, Stanford, UCLA and USC. And she had even, in a moment of courage, submitted an application to Oxford’s law program. She honestly didn’t know what she’d do if she managed to get in, but she just . . . she felt she owed to herself and to Harry to see if she could get in. Though, if she was going to be perfectly honest, she was secretly hoping she wouldn’t. That way she could go to Harvard without feeling like she’d let Harry down. Not that she’d ever tell him that. Hell. He didn’t even know she’d applied. It was just a spur of the moment thing she did, and . . . well, she’d sort that out when the time came, but that wouldn’t be for months, so for now, she was in the clear.

The end of autumn also marked the end of Michaelmas term, and when she walked out of her final exam on December 5th, she was in such a good mood that even the press managed to get a smile from her, the first smile she’d ever given them. And feeling, for the first time in months, completely at ease, she hopped on her bike, peddled all the way to her favorite Chinese fast food joint, ordered a few dishes and then went back home where she feasted and drank wine. Eventually, she knocked out in an alcohol and food induced slumber, and slept until well into the next day, waking up only when her alarm clock started going off to alert her that she had to get ready to go to the rugby match the guys had scheduled.

As quickly as she could, she changed into match clothes, throwing on their official jersey, and then bolting out the door with her bike in tow. The press, as usual, was waiting for her at the entrance, and as soon as they spotted her, began snapping pictures. She tried not to pay them much attention, focusing on simply getting on her bike and peddling down to the park where the match was to take place.

By the time she got there, a few of her friends were already warming up, there were still a couple of people missing, but for the most part, the team was there. And even Alfred and Olivia had made it out to the match. It was a league match, not a proper sanctioned league, more like an amateur league that all the local teams had decided to set up. They’d thought that since they were always playing against each other that they might as well make a competition out of it, and surprisingly enough, the group of Rhodes Scholars had gotten themselves to the championship match, shocking not only themselves, but their opponents. None of the other teams had taken them seriously, thinking they’d get eliminated early on, but somehow, Paulina and her friends had managed to come out victorious through each match they’d gone into, securing themselves a place in the championship.

“Morning sunshine!” exclaimed Terry when he spotted a displeased looking Paulina making her way towards him. “Ya ready for the match?”

“Hell yeah, I am,” she said, parking her bike alongside the others. “I’ve got a bunch of stress leftover from finals that need working out.”

“I know the feeling.” He continued to stretch, lifting his arms above his head. “Finals always leave me a massively knackered prat. Honestly, the other day some bloke cut me off in line at the market, and I couldn’t stop myself, I bloody told him off in front of everyone.”

“No!” She couldn’t believe Terry had thrown a fit. That was more along the lines of something Graham would do. “Did you seriously?”

He nodded. “It wasn’t my fault though. Not really. I mean, I’d gone three days on two hours of sleep, so I obviously wasn’t at my best, and then he cut me off so I just had to say something. I had to! Wouldn’t ya have done the same?”

“Of course,” she replied as she set down her gym bag. “But that’s because I have a habit, well, had a habit of doing stuff like that. But you’re always so nonaggressive in those settings.”

“That just goes to show you how mental my sleep deprived self was. S’alright though. At least now it is. I knocked out Thursday night and didn’t get up until today. So I reckon I'm not much of a wanker anymore. More than usual, that is.”

She cracked a smile. “That’s a long ass time. It makes my sleep-a-thon look like a nap.”

“How long were ya out for?”

“I passed out like at one yesterday and then woke up about forty or so minutes ago. It’s nothing compared to what you slept. But I’ll beat that record later on. I'm planning on sleeping the rest of the weekend. It’ll be glorious.”

“Sleeping?” Terry cocked his brow at her. “Wasn’t your bloke driving out for the match?”

“Something came up,” she told Terry as she shimmied out of her sweats. “He’s got a few things to do over in London, but that’s alright. I need to catch up on my sleep, and maybe, if I get a chance, I’ll catch up on my shows. It feels like it’s been ages since I’ve actually sat down to watch teli.”

“Just so you know, if we win, you’ll have to push the sleeping back a few hours so we can go out to the pub and get proper smashed.”

“I thought we were going even if we lost,” Graham made his way into the conversation. “That’s what Callum said.”

“Did he?” Terry scratched the base of his neck. “Hmm, must’ve not been paying attention when he said that, but I reckon it’s a good idea. This’ll be the last time we’re all together until next term since we’re all heading home for the holidays.”

“Way to rub it in my face asshole.” Paulina grumbled.

“Don’t even pull that on us, Paula. Your arse could go home if ya wanted, but no, you wanna stay in Oxford so ya can run around with your bloke. I reckon it’s on account of you wanting to get into another lad’s mag.” Graham smirked when he saw her cheeks turn bright pink. “Still can’t believe you were in FHM. We buy the bloody thing to find birds to have a wank over, and then we see you in there, and it’s like we’ve seen our sister or our mum prancing about in a swimsuit. It’s not right.”

“Not in the slightest,” agreed Terry.

“Why do you two even need wanking material” she questioned. “Just go out with Callum, and he’ll wingman a few birds your way.”

“It’s not the same though,” argued Graham. “Sometimes a bloke just wants to have a proper wank before bed, with none of that cuddling or talking nonsense. Right, Terry?”

Terry nodded.

“And now that I’ve seen you in there, I can’t just go buying another copy. Don’t want to risk seeing something that’ll scar me for life. It’d be like the time I walked in on my parents having a go, utterly traumatizing.” Graham shook at the memory. “That’s why I think you’ve got to make a promise not to come out in lad’s mags anymore.”

“You guys swear that I'm actively trying to land a spot in the magazines. They’re just creeps that like my ass. That’s it.” And they really did, ever since FHM saw a picture of her in a swimsuit in Botswana, they’d been running articles about Harry, her, and her enticing curves. There was a part of her that took the attention as a compliment, but there was another that wanted to tell them to – quite literally – leave her ass out of their publication. “And it’s not like I’ve been running around England with a swimsuit on.”

“Swimsuit?” asked Callum from behind them. “Why you lot talking about swimsuits?”

“Graham and Terry were complaining about my stint in FHM.” Paulina informed him. “Apparently, they can’t buy it anymore because seeing me in there is as bad as seeing their parent’s banging. And I’m telling them that I only came out in September.”

“Not true. You’ve been there rather consistently.” Callum, like Terry and Graham, was a FHM enthusiast and had seen the five articles the magazine had run on her. “Obviously nothing compromising, since you’re not that kind of bird, but yeah, you’ve been in there.”

“Hah! I told you that ya were,” declared Terry, triumphantly.

She fought back a laugh. “Callum just said that they’re not revealing pictures of me.”

“Doesn’t matter,” argued Graham. “Don’t want to risk seeing your face. It’d be like – ah! It’d be like when I was younger and had a wank, and then I’d look up and see the crucifix my mum has in my room. It’s guilt, that’s what it is.”

“You’re fucking insane.” Paulina laughed as she finished tying her shoes. “You need to get them laid, Callum.”

“I’ve gotten them birds.” He chuckled. “But these chafed dick wankers are always having a go at themselves.”

“Callum should know, I had a go in his room once. Even used the lotion he had on his –” Graham was going to carry on, but was cut off before he had a chance.

“Say one more word Terry and I won’t be cooking for you anymore.” Callum threatened.

Terry, a horrible cook, decided not to describe the lotion and tissue box that Callum had on his night stand. “Can’t say anything without someone, getting offended,” grumbled Terry. “Worse than a bird, you are. No offense, Paula.”

“None taken,” she reassured as she stood up. “So . . . Callum, are we really going out to drink even if we lose?”

He nodded. “I reckon it’d be a brilliant way to end term and the league, especially since everyone will be going their separate ways after. Why? Do ya have something planned?”

“Nothing other than sleeping,” she replied. “But I’ll just postpone that for a bit. We are gonna shower before we go out though, right? Because I hate when we go right from the pitch to the pub, I feel like we’re grossing out people even though they don’t say anything.”

“I was thinking we’d just head over. No point in fussing about over appearances, but I suppose ya might be right, we should get tidied up, make a day out of celebrating this all.” Callum slipped off his sweats. “We can grab a lunch, get the drinks goin’ at the pub, and maybe head out to a club after. If everyone’s up for it, of course,” he added.

“I'm up for it.” Terry said, grinning as he did so. “I reckon everyone else will as well. No one’s opposed to a night of drinking, not even Paula.”

“Oi!” she exclaimed. “What are ya trying to say?”

“Not trying to say anything. Just saying ya won’t oppose it, since you’ve not been drunk in . . . well, I can’t remember the last time ya were.”

“It hasn’t been that long,” she argued.

“It has.” Callum backed Terry’s claim. “The last time you got proper drunk with us was in October. And it wasn’t even late October. It was more along the middle of it.”

“That’s because I can’t go stumbling around anymore.” She really couldn’t. If the press saw her drunkenly walking out of a pub or club, they’d paste it all over the tabloids and her parents wouldn’t let her live it down. “I’ve got to be mindful of those stalkers of mine.”

“One of these days ya should do something really disgusting to gross them out. Maybe that’ll scare them off.” Graham advised, thinking his words rather brilliant.

“If I do something really disgusting, they’ll just write up an article about it, and hope that I do something equally gross later on.” Paulina fixed her ponytail, making it tighter and smoothing out the hair with a stroke of her hand. “Well, if you lads will excuse me, I'm gonna go see what Via and Alfie are up to. Give me a shout when you need me.” Having excused herself, she walked over to her friends. “Good morning lovebirds!” she exclaimed, grinning brightly.

Olivia’s cheeks immediately flooded with color. “Morning Paulin,” she said. “You’re awfully chipper. I take it you had your coffee.”

“Strangely enough, I haven’t. Ran out yesterday, but didn’t bother picking some up from the store. I should probably sort that out after the match.” She chuckled. “Thanks for coming out to this.”

“Wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” spoke Alfred. “It’s not everyday a best mate gets to a championship match.”

“We even made posters.” Olivia chirped, proudly.

“You what?” she couldn’t have heard right. Paulina knew she couldn’t have heard right.

“Posters,” repeated Olivia. “We thought that since this was a championship match, it had to be treated as such. Alfie, love, can you get the posters please?”

“Just a moment,” he reached over to his right and grabbed the two posters they’d spent the previous evening making. “Here they are.”

“Thank you.” Olivia pecked his cheeks lovingly, and then took the posters from him. “Hmm, on second thought I'm not sure I want to show you the posters yet.”

“What? Why not?” asked Paulina.

“Because I think it’d be better if you saw them from the field. In fact, now that I think about it, I know it’d be better. I’ll just keep these safe for now.” Olivia could see her friend becoming more impatient.

“Olivia, my lovely Olivia, don’t you know it’s cruel to tell people you made them something and then decide not to show them?” complained Paulina.

“It’s not that I won’t show you them. I just won’t show them right now.”

“Thou art a cruel woman, Olivia, a very cruel woman.” Paulina sighed overdramatically. “But I love you so much that I’ll forgive your cruelty.”

“Will you?” Olivia giggled. “I’ll count myself fortunate then. Now come on, give us a hug, we didn’t come out here for you not to hug us. We’re not the bloody press.”

Paulina let out a laugh. “If you were the press, you’d be getting a bunch of bitchy glares.” She leant forwards and exchanged a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek with Olivia before doing the same with Alfred. “So,” she said, taking a seat on the grass in front of them, “How’ve you been enjoying break so far? Have ya done anything exciting?”

“Exciting as in excitingly exciting? No. Not really. We’ve caught up on sleep.” Alfred answered.

Olivia nodded. “As soon as he got in from that final you two had yesterday, we knocked out until about eight in the evening. Then went back to sleep a little while after. How about you? You got any sleep in?”

“Yeah, I slept for sixteen or so hours.” Paulina started playing with the grass, it was a habit of hers to pull at it. “I'm planning on knocking out for the rest of the weekend.”

“Wasn’t Harry meant to come down?” asked Olivia. “I could’ve sworn you’d mentioned it.”

“He was, but then his dad got sick so he had to go to some event in his place.”

“Why couldn’t William have gone?” Alfred inquired.

Paulina shrugged. “Don’t know. I didn’t really ask him. But I guess William must have been busy or something.”

“Well since he’s not coming this weekend, how about you go home with me?” Olivia proposed. “I won’t be leaving till Monday so you’d have plenty of time to rest and pack up. It’d be brilliant to have you visit. Mum and dad keep asking when you’ll be coming around.”

“Have they?”

Olivia nodded. “Collette’s always asking for you, as well, keeps going on about how she’s meant to take tea with you.”

“That’s right. I’d forgotten I promised to have a tea party with her.”

“Then keep your promise and come over with me.” Olivia smiled encouragingly. “If you stay two weeks, you can go up to Scotland with us. Mum and dad have a cabin up there.”

“Awe Via, I’d really love to stay at your house, but I can’t this week. I’ve got to go to London to meet with my lawyers on Tuesday. Thanks for the offer though. Maybe we could get together later on during the holiday?”

“Of course,” smiled Olivia. “Just let me know when you’re free, yeah?”

“Will do,” Paulina assured.

“Since you mentioned your lawyers, how’s the case going?” asked Alfred.

“Hmm, you know, I'm not all that sure. All I really know is that the police are taking depositions and gathering information right now. From what my attorney’s have told me, the trial will actually get underway sometime next year. Hopefully it’ll be before I head back to America.”

At that, Olivia’s smile faltered. “You’re not still leaving us, are you?”

“I have to.” Paulina nervously played with the grass. “But I’ll visit often enough.”

“Didn’t you say it’d be years before you came back?” asked Olivia.

“That was before Harry.” Alfred reminded. “Now she can’t stay in America too long or else she’ll miss her heart.”

“Oh, bugger off, Alfie.” Paulina’s cheeks burned bright pink.

He smiled, quite pleased with himself. “See Via, she’s not denying it.”

“But she’ll be kicking your shins soon, if you don’t hush up.” Olivia warned. “And it doesn’t matter why she’ll be coming back to England. All that matters is she’ll be here, and hopefully, she’ll make time for us.”

“Of course I’ll make time for you guys. Why would you even doubt that I’d make time? I love you guys. If it weren’t for you, well, I wouldn’t have had as rad a time in England as I have. And if it weren’t for Alfie’s flat and Charlotte, I don’t think anything would’ve happened with Harry.”

“But you two didn’t start dating until way after.” Alfred reminded.

“True, but it was the incident that brought us together.” Paulina was going to say something else when she heard Graham calling for her. “Guess it’s time to head out. I’ll see you guys later!”

It wasn’t long before everyone was in position and the actual match was underway. She was nervous about how things would play out. The team they were going up against was burlier than the others they’d faced in previous matches. Their figures were so imposing that when Paulina initially set eyes on them, she questioned whether it was a good idea to go up against them on the pitch, but despite her reservations – and her friend’s reservations – they went at their opponents with everything they had. They worked out their frustrations towards finals, towards the Trustees that always seemed to demand something more from them. They were relentless in their playing, determined to truly be able to leave the pitch feeling like they’d done everything in their power to try to win. And in the end, despite not having won, they were able to carry themselves with pride.

“You were fantastic out there!” exclaimed Olivia when Paulina walked off the pitch. “Honestly couldn’t believe how you moved. It was like . . . well, I don’t precisely know what it was like, but it was brilliant. How are you feeling?”

“I'm feeling pretty alright.” Paulina replied. “By the way I fucking love the posters. Do you mind if I take them home with me? There’s a spot on my wall where they’d go really well.”

“Are you really going to put them up?” asked Olivia.

Paulina nodded. “They’re fucking rad, of course I am. But I should probably wash my hands first. I'm all covered in mud.”

“And a bit of blood,” added Alfred. “No doubt you’ll be getting a fair share of bruises from this.”

“I always do.” Paulina pulled her water bottle out from her bag and proceeded to cleanse her hands. “So what are you guys gonna be up to, later on?”

“Hmm, not much actually,” Olivia replied on her and Alfred’s behalf. “We’ll probably have dinner at my flat and then turn in for an early night.”

“Well if you feel like going out, me and the guys are gonna head out to a club. You’re more than welcomed to come.” Paulina invited them.

Olivia turned to Alfred. “Would you mind?” she asked him, knowing very well that he wasn’t always in the mood for a club.

“Not at all,” he said, though the truth was, he would’ve preferred to stay in, but since Olivia loved to dance, he knew it’d be best to go out. “It could be fun.”

“It will be!” Paulina beamed, smiling brightly. “We don’t know where we’re going yet, but I’ll text you when we finally settle on it.”

They talked on a little while longer before parting ways. They returned to Olivia’s flat. Paulina made her way back to her own, where she took a nice warm shower and then changed into clothes that were comfortable, but could also do well enough in the club. Despite being tired, she was determined to have a good time with her mates. It’d been ages since they’d last gone out together, and it would be nearly two months until the opportunity presented itself again so she had to take advantage of it. Later on, she could sleep and lounge around the house in her pajamas, but for now, she dressed and got ready for a night of drinking and laughing, a night, that not even, the press would be able to ruin.