The Thrill Is Gone

“It must be lower,” advised Lady Fellowes, her eyes firmly fixed on the young woman. “This curtsy is to be the manner in which you demonstrate respect for Her Majesty. In that moment, you must proudly display yourself as a young woman of good form and manners. That is why the curtsy which you have just executed, will be viewed as an admirable attempt, but not particularly suited to the Queen.” She stopped pacing, and stood still in front of Paulina. “A Garden Party at Buckingham palace is quite the affair, my dear. It is an occasion, in which those who are favorites to the Queen are invited to participate in the official festivities, as well as those who have accomplished extraordinary things for various organizations and society. It is an instance in which almost 8,000 individuals shall descend upon Buckingham Palace, and they will all be most eager to leave a favorable impression of themselves to the Queen. And what shall their first impression be?” she asked.

“Their curtsy or their bow,” replied Paulina.

“Precisely,” Lady Fellowes smiled. “That shall be the moment in which the Queen learns how the individual carries themselves. Now, I understand that it might seem a bit absurd to think that a curtsy could be so telling of a person, but it is. And many of the people, in fact I would argue that the vast majority of them shall fail in carrying out a proper curtsy or bow. They won’t put the necessary dramatics into it. A curtsy is so much more than a simple dip, it is a dramatic gesture, a grand one, and it must be treated as such. That is why we are going to perfect your curtsy.”

“I thought you said I did a remarkably well in curtsying.”

“You do. You’ve mastered the art of it in regards to curtsying to the Prince of Wales, and his children. You shall be more than prepared if and when you meet the rest of the lower royals, but the Queen and Prince Philip require something more. This is the appropriate curtsy for them.” She curtsied in the manner that she had instructed Paulina to, she stepped slightly to the right, placed her left knee behind the right, and then began to go down, her back perfectly straight all the while and head slightly bowed, but instead of stopping where she’d taught Paulina to, she went lower and lower, until stopping when her knee was about four or so inches from the ground. “It is much lower, much more dramatic. This is the appropriate way to curtsy for the Queen and her consort.”

“I’ve never seen anyone curtsy like that.”

“Because you’ve never been to court,” explained Lady Fellowes. Everyone at the Court of St James’s curtsies in that manner to them. It goes in degrees. Her Majesty and Prince Philip are given the curtsy that I demonstrated, then Prince Charles, Camilla, William and Harry are given the curtsy that I taught you on a former occasion, and the rest of the royals, are given a slightly less grand curtsy than them. It goes by importance. As awful as that might sound to say,” she added.

“Will . . . will the other royals be there?” asked Paulina, nervously.

“It is my understanding that Princess Anne shall be in attendance. There is also word going around that Prince Andrew might. Those are the only two.”

“Shouldn’t her other grandchildren be there?”

Lady Fellowes smiled kindly. “Dearest Paulina, they don’t all come out at once. There are three Garden Parties held each year, and the royals choose which ones they shall be in attendance of, though if I am to be honest, Prince Charles is a fixture at most, and Harry is good about attending them, as well. And I am quite certain that he is most eager for this particular Garden Party.”

“I daresay he’s quite eager about the entire week,” commented Paulina. “First the Garden Party, and then the wedding of your daughter, which you have most kindly invited us to,” she knew to inflate Lady Fellowes’ ego a bit, to fuel her vanity. And judging by the pleased look on Lady Fellowes face, Paulina had succeeded. “It truly is an honor to have been included among the guests.”

“Do not speak of it being an honor,” said Lady Fellowes, though in truth, she was pleased to hear it was. “You are a most dear friend, it was only right you be counted amongst our guests. Now, we must carry on with the lessons. You should have arrived on Saturday, it would have given us an extra day to revise, though I do understand that there was the charity event put on by the Trust, and that you had to assist them. I attempted to get you out of it. I told Robert that he ought to free you from those duties, but he would not hear of it. Duties must be carried out, he said.” She shook her head. “At least we’ve already covered the talking points, and the attire you brought was well suited for the occasion, the color of it is marvelous on you, but now, we have one day until the Garden Party, and we’ve a new curtsy to master.”

Paulina wanted to laugh. Lady Fellowes was acting as if they were running out of time to master a curtsy that would in all honesty, take only a few minutes or a half hour, at the most, to perfect. Paulina already knew the basics of the curtsy, she only had to improve upon it a bit, but Lady Fellowes was going about as if going lower by a few more inches would be the most difficult thing to do. And of course, in her mind, it was.

The perfect curtsy was an art form that, in her not so humble opinion, not many could master, especially not on such a short period, but still she endeavored to instruct Paulina in the art of it. And despite Paulina having managed it quite well after a dozen or so attempts, Lady Fellowes demanded that they keep at it, practicing and practicing for nearly an hour straight, practicing until Paulina’s lower body was sore from all that bloody curtsying.

At the end, when Lady Fellowes had deemed that Paulina had mastered an admirable curtsy, the pair retired to the parlor where they were to take tea with Lord Fellowes. He had spent the morning out, visiting with friends and business partners, as well as looking into some charities and trusts that he was also involved with. It had been a busy morning, and after all that running around, he was pleased to get home to enjoy tea with his wife, and more than pleased to hear that Paulina had perfected the curtsy. Perhaps to others it might have seemed an insignificant thing to be pleased with, but he valued curtsying and bowing as highly as his wife did, and since they had both been invited to the Garden Party, and would arrive and remain at Paulina’s side, he thought it crucial that she embody grace, class, and superior manners, because no intimate friend of the Fellowes’ could ever be less than that.

They spent the rest of the day in one another’s company, not stirring from their residence at Wilton Crescent. At one point, Lady Fellowes announced that one of their daughter’s, Laura, might stop by for dinner, but Laura phoned a little while after, stating that something had come up, she’d be unable to attend. That was the excuse all their children seemed to use, there was always something else to do, always somewhere the needed to be, and Lady and Lord Fellowes were often each other’s only company, which was one of the reasons why Lady Fellowes had taken such a liking to the young American. Paulina provided enjoyable company, listened attentively as Lady Fellowes told stories that had long ago been deemed dull by her children. Paulina provided a comfort, and pleasant conformation, and Lady Fellowes was fond of her that was why she invited her to stay so often, that was why she often invited her out to dinner at Oxford.

The young woman was an intimate friend, and Lady Fellowes wished to see to it that she was prepared for what the future held, that she would be well received by the Queen, and that she, in turn, would be remembered when certain things would come to pass.

The following morning and early afternoon were a blur for Paulina. She awoke at half past six, and then dressed and went to have breakfast at seven o’clock with Lord and Lady Fellowes. Their breakfast lasted the greater part of an hour, after which, she and Lady Fellowes each retired to their rooms where a professional make up artist and hairstylist awaited them. Paulina thought it was odd that Lady Fellowes had hired professionals, she could do her own hair and make up, she always did her own hair and make up for events, but Lady Fellowes would not hear of it. They were to go before the Queen, and had to look their absolute best, so they were prepared by professionals who seemed to drag out the entire process. And after their hair had been styled and make up had been applied, they were dressed and then went over the curtsying and appropriate talking points again.

By the time 3 o’clock came around, Paulina was fed up with talking about how to act around the damn Queen, all she wanted was to get it over with, to see what she wanted. Lady Fellowes might have been obsessed with getting things right, with having Paulina make a favorable first impression, but Paulina had already made a horrible impression on the Queen, she hadn’t curtsied, she hadn’t embodied grace and superior manners, she had told the Queen off and cursed at her. That was what Paulina had done. And it didn’t matter if she curtsied perfectly or carried herself in a remarkably refined manner, because the Queen would always think of her as the vulgar American that had refused her, at least, that was what Paulina believed.

“Do not be nervous, dear.” Lady Fellowes spoke as they were driven to Buckingham Palace. “You are fit to be in Her Majesty’s company. Of that, there is no doubt. Only do remember what we have advised you over the last few days. It is imperative you do so.”

“I will, Ma’am,” reassured Paulina.

They lapsed into silence after that, Lord and Lady Fellowes believed Paulina would be glad of it, glad to be given the opportunity to simply sit and think, but she wasn’t. She wanted them to talk, she wanted them to take her mind off of what was to come, this was an official royal even that she was about to attend, and as much as she was weary of the Queen, as much as she distrusted the damn woman, that didn’t change the fact that Prince Charles and Camilla would be there, that didn’t change the fact that Princess Anne and Prince Edward would be there, it didn’t change the fact that Harry had told her – just last night – that he planned to introduce her to his aunt and uncles. She might not have been terrified of meeting the Queen, but she was anxious about meeting his other relatives.

He had reassured her that it would be fine, that his relatives would simply adore her. But would they really? Would they really think her amiable and genteel? Could they possibly think highly of her when their mother had spoken so ill of her? She didn’t think they could. Not with how she’d heard the Queen go on about her, but still Harry insisted that she was going to be loved, and all she could do was put on a brave face and wait in silence until they were dropped off in front of Buckingham Palace.

When they arrived at Buckingham Palace, they were swept into a large crowd that was awaiting entry onto the royal residence. Lord Fellowes seemed incredibly displeased at the prospect of having to wait in such company. His nose had wrinkled in distaste; his eyes seemed to scrutinize everyone in their surroundings. After so many years of coming to the event, he still felt that many of those invited ought to have been left out, but it was a Garden Party in which individuals that contribute to charity are invited, there it nothing to keep out those whom he, as well as others in his social class, would think of as undesirable.

They did not wait long in the crowd, not because it moved along quickly, it was a terribly slow procession, but their waiting was cut short due to the fact that Kamal had gone out to fetch them. He had been stationed at the main entrance, standing guard and awaiting their arrival, and the moment he saw Paulina step out of the vehicle, he made his way through the crowd.

“Miss Balcázar!” he called to her. “Miss!” he shouted.

She turned in direction of his voice, and when she saw him, a massive smile erupted across her face.

“Kamal!” she exclaimed.

“Good afternoon, Miss.” He tilted his head respectfully. “Good afternoon, Lord and Lady Fellowes.” He bowed his head. “His Royal Highness charged me with escorting you onto the premises so as to avoid the crowd.” Kamal explained. “Would you be so kind as to follow me?”

They followed him through the crowd, eager to enter the royal residence, and after Kamal explained who they were, and they showed the necessary identification, they were let in by the security. Kamal led them towards a spot that a member of the staff stood saving for them, it was near the entrance, and was a prime location, so Harry had thought it best that it be saved for the trio. After explaining to Paulina and the others that they ought to remain there, Kamal then took the opportunity to inform her that Prince Harry had requested she accompany him throughout the event.

“What?” she asked. Unsure that she’d heard correctly.

“His Royal Highness wishes for you to accompany him, Miss.” Kamal repeated, still polite and friendly as ever. “If you will excuse me, I must return at once to his side. Miss Balcázar, Lady Fellowes, Lord Fellowes.” He gave them a bow of the head, and was off.

Paulina watched as he walked away, his figure soon losing itself among the crowd. She couldn’t believe that Harry wanted her to accompany. Was that even allowed? Could she be at his side as he visited with people at an official royal engagement? That didn’t sound right. There had to be rules about that sort of thing. At least, she thought there had to be. There were rules for every single thing in their lives, so there had to be something that only royals or fiancées of royals could accompany them at official engagements. But somehow, Harry had gotten the idea that she could, and now she was freaking out about it, wondering how she’d get herself out of it.

“I can’t go . . .” she mumbled to herself, her brow furrowing slightly.

“Pardon?” said Lady Fellowes, thinking that Paulina had spoken something to her.

Paulina looked up, her face betraying her, displaying the anxiety she felt. “I can’t do it. I can’t . . . I'm not meant to accompany him. Am I?” She wanted them to say she wasn’t. That she was meant to remain at their side. She’d be more at ease at their side. “That’s for royalty to do, and I'm – well, I'm not royalty.”

“One does not have to be a member of the royal family to accompany them at official engagements,” stated Lord Fellowes. “One must simply be asked to by a royal.”

“But I don’t want to.”

“How could you not?” Lord Fellowes inquired, baffles as to why someone would not wish to accompany a royal at an official engagement. That was an honor above all honors. “Miss Balcázar?”

“Dear, I believe Paulina is a bit nervous. Isn’t that right?” she looked to Paulina, with kind, caring eyes. “Paulina?”

“Yes. That’s true. I am nervous, very much nervous.” She fiddled with her coat. “We never went over how to act as a companion in this sort of situation,” she said in a low voice, just loud enough for them to hear her. “And I do not wish to be separated from you during this Garden Party.”

“Do not, trouble yourself with that,” Lady Fellowes reassured, touched that the young woman did not wish to part from them. “We will be quite fine on our own. Won’t we, Robert?”

“Yes, of course.” He paused. “Miss Balcázar, I understand that you might believe it to be a slight to our persons if you were to accompany His Royal Highness, but rest assured, it would not. It is your duty as –” he was going to say it was her duty as an Englishwoman, but soon remembered that she was, despite her fine manners, an American “– the girlfriend of His Royal Highness to accompany him at such engagements.”

“And as to how act as a companion in this situation,” Lady Fellowes began, “Be as you were at the dinner with the Prime Minister. That comportment shall do you well.”

She wasn’t fond of the idea of her walking around with him, smiling and meeting everyone that he had to meet, but she knew there was no way out of it. And more than that, she told herself that it was practice for the future, for her venture into politics or her venture into the monarchy. That was enough to make her warm to the idea, and slowly the grounds began to fill, and at five minutes before the clock struck four, the last of the guests had been let in. They all stood waiting the arrival of the Queen, talking and smiling amongst themselves, and it remained that way until four o’clock, when one of the two military bands present, began to play the National Anthem. It was then that the doors were pulled upon by valets, and the Queen, accompanied by Prince Philip and her family members, exited.

And for a moment, Paulina didn’t even remember the animosity she felt towards the Queen. She was too in awe of the woman, whom despite her advanced age, carried herself with true grace and elegance, she seemed to glide across the grass, and the reaction she inspired from the crowds, the bows, the slight curtseys were like something from a dream. The Queen smiled as she passed, tipping her own head slightly as she moved along, and when Harry passed, he shot Paulina a playful wink and then continued on, acting his part in the Garden Party.

Since there were individuals that Harry had to meet with straight away, he was delayed in reaching Paulina for several minutes, but eventually he managed to slip away, and made his way over to where she and the Fellowes stood. The three of them greeted the prince as custom dictated; Lord Fellowes bowed respectfully while the two women curtseyed.

Pleasantries were exchanged between himself and his relatives, a brief conversation since time constraints didn’t allow for much else. There were nearly eight thousand people there, all anxious to meet the royals, all eager to talk to them if only for a moment, and Harry had to go out there and meet with as many as he could. So his conversation with his aunt was much shorter than he would’ve preferred and at the end of it, he held out his arm for Paulina to take, and they were on their way.

For the better part of an hour, Paulina held onto Harry’s arms as he met with numerous individuals, the vast majority being strangers that he’d never even heard of. She smiled dutifully, engaged in polite conversation, and paid compliments when necessary. She found it strange at first, but after the third group they meet, it became simple to play the part, almost natural. She left favorable impressions on many people, some whom had thought she’d be a snob since she never gave statements to the press or smiled when they took pictures of her.

It was easy for the first hour, and then Harry mentioned that he reckoned they ought to visit with his aunt and uncle before they met with many other strangers.

“So soon?” she’d said after he told her.

“Well, yeah,” he replied with a laugh. “There’s no point in waiting about all day. We’ve already done an hour of service, so I think we’ve well earned a bit of time off. Why? Are you not keen on meeting them?”

“Of course, I am. It’s just . . .”

“You’re nervous,” he said, knowingly. “Well there’s no reason for that. They’ll adore you. Zara’s talked you up to her mum. You’re quite liked by her, keeps going on about how we all need to get together soon. I told her we’d figure something out since my training’s taking up so much time, but yeah, she says her mum’s very much keen to meet you. And my uncle, well, he’s a laugh, and I just know he’ll be taken by you. I mean if Lord Fellowes likes you, everyone else will. Even my Gran came around!” He beamed. “Bloody hell, can’t believe she invited you.” He stared at Paulina, fondly. “I reckon she finally realized she was being a prat and . . .”

“Henry, someone’s gonna hear you!”

“Oh, right, right.” He ran a hand through his hair, making it even messier than usual. He looked like he hadn’t fixed since he’d woke up in the morning, while she’d had someone spend hours obsessing over hers. “Should we go then? Meet my aunt and uncle, and all that?”

She nodded. “Wait!” she said when they began to walk. “How do I look? And don’t lie.”

“You really asking me how you look?” he cocked his brow.

“No, I just said that to say that. Of course, I'm really asking you how I look. Now tell me, how do I look? Should I go touch up my make up?”

He couldn’t help but laugh at how nervous she was acting.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Because you’re being daft,” he managed to say between his laughter. “Ya look brilliant, love. Honest. Now come on, let’s go meet them. No point in dragging this out.”