The Thrill Is Gone

“You’re the most unreasonable man I’ve ever met in my life!” she spat. “Honestly, how the hell can you be so worked up over this? This isn’t anything worth being worked up over!”

“The tabloids seem to say otherwise.” He shot back.

“No, they don’t!” she shrieked. “I’ve read the tabloids. All they say is that I’m getting cozy with the Kennedys, that’s it! I think one of them might have alluded to their being chemistry between myself and Francis, but that’s a bunch of bullshit!”

“Is it then?”

“Yes, it is!” she said, sharply.

“Then why were ya laughing about with him?” Harry didn’t care if he sounded like an overly jealous boyfriend. He wasn’t keen on having some bloke make his bird laugh. That didn’t sit well with him. “Why were ya all grinning? You were meant to be sulking.”

“Was I?” Paulina couldn’t believe that he was upset, because she hadn’t been cooped up in her hotel room, bawling her eyes out. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know that I was meant to spend all my time sulking. I didn’t get the fucking memo for that.”

“Well, I reckon ya should’ve, because that’s what I’ve been bloody doing since we had our row. I felt like a proper git for having said what I said to you, and I even lost count of how many times I phoned you to try to apologize. I was a fucking mess all bloody weekend, because of you. And then I find out that instead of sulking about like me, you were out to dinner with that prat!”

“Oi!” she exclaimed, becoming increasingly defensive. “Don’t you fucking talk shit about the Kennedys,” she stated. “You have no right to call them prats.”

“I’m not calling the lot of them prats. I’m calling that bloke that couldn’t keep his hands to himself, a prat.”

“Couldn’t keep his hands to himself?” she nearly scoffed. “When the hell were his hands on me? The only time he touched me was when we shook hands. That’s it! And even if he had touched me, you don’t have a right to bitch at me.”

“Oh yes, I bloody do!” he hissed.

“No, you fucking don’t.” She growled. “You’ve spent the last eight months acting like a singleton in London! You’ve had strange women grinding all up on you on the dance floor AND you’ve even had them sitting on your lap! You’re the one that hasn’t been able to keep his hands to himself, so don’t you dare try to act like I’m the one doing things wrong, because I haven’t done a single thing wrong over here. All I did was go down to dinner to eat. That’s it! That’s all I planned on doing. I was supposed to fucking eat and then run back to my hotel room so I could get drunk and cry, that’s what I wanted to do, but then Francis waltzed up to my table and invited me back to have dinner with his relatives. That’s what fucking happened. So I don’t see where you’re getting off acting like me going to dinner was this huge slap in the face for you. I mean do you even know how old his relatives are? One of them is in his fifties, the other one’s nearly there. That’s how fucking old they are. They’re old ass men with wives and children. And before you start acting even crazier, let me tell you that one of them kept staring at my eyes all night because apparently, I have his dead dad’s eyes.”

“What?”

“You heard me!” she yelled. “Apparently, my eyes remind him of his dads. And it’s not the first time someone’s told me that. Senator Kennedy said it as well. I’ve got Bobby Kennedy’s eyes, and his son wanted me there so he could look at them, that’s why he was so nice to me. And the other one, the middle aged lawyer, well, he was being nice because his dad made him promise that at some point he was going to meet me. Alright? And the same goes for Francis!”

“Well I reckon the old farts might not have –”

“They’re not old farts!” she exclaimed. “They’re old ass men who were polite and welcoming to me. They’re people who treated me better than you’ve been treating me this month. So stop this madness, Harry. Just stop it! Because I refuse to fight over the Kennedys anymore. Alright? I didn’t do a damn thing wrong. All I did was have dinner with three men. That’s it! And there’s nothing wrong with that. I wasn’t sitting on their laps, I wasn’t grinding on them, I didn’t put my tits in their faces, and I sure as hell didn’t have them sitting shirtless on my lap! I didn’t do anything wrong. You just feel so bad about how much of an ass you’ve been, that you’re trying to find something to blame me for. You’re trying to invent this intrigue that I have feelings for Francis Kennedy, that I want to fuck him! But guess what, you insufferable man? The only person I have feelings for, is you! The only person I want to fuck, is you! And I don’t even know why I feel this way since you’ve been such a fucking prick lately, but I love you. Fucking hell, I love you.” She was surprised by how much she meant it, even though he hadn’t been a good boyfriend lately, she still loved him. “All I ask is that you stop being so childish, because I’m exhausted, Henry. I’m exhausted and I’m not wasting any more time fighting over shit that doesn’t matter. If you want to fight, let’s fight about the fact that you had some stranger’s tits in your face a few days ago, if you want to fight, let’s fight about Chelsy and the skanks you party with! If you want to fight, then let’s have at it! Go ahead, tell me off for not attending Oxford, tell me how much of a shitty girlfriend I am, but you’re leaving the Kennedys out of this, because they don’t factor into it at all.”

“If they don’t factor into it, then why you being so protective?”

“Because they were nice to me, that’s why! And yes, I understand that they might’ve just been nice to me, because they were curious to know who their dad and uncle kept talking about, but that’s way better than having people be nice to me just because I’m dating you! Those people were nice because they wanted to get to know me, not because they wanted to get to know Prince Harry’s girlfriend.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Do ya resent me now? Ya resent being linked back to me.”

“I don’t resent you,” she said, her voice softening. “It’s just nice to have people be interested in me. That’s what I meant. I liked the fact that they didn’t mention you, that they weren’t trying to trick me into divulging information about you. They were focused on me. We were talking about politics and about Senator Kennedy. I had a normal conversation with strangers, and it was such a nice change from all the crap that I’m usually putting up with. So please let’s drop this. Let’s drop this infatuation of yours with Francis, because nothing’s going on with him. Nothing!”

“Does that mean ya won’t be seeing him again? Is that what that means?”

“What?”

“You heard me, does that mean that ya won’t be seeing that Kennedy anymore?”

“Are you being for real right now?” Paulina couldn’t believe that Harry was being so mental about things. “Are you seriously asking me if I’m going to see him again?”

“It’s a bit obvious that that’s what I’m doing.”

“Well I don’t know how to answer that. I might,” she answered honestly. “I gave them all my number, and they gave me theirs, so there’s a very good chance we might –”

“You gave him your number? I don’t even give those slags my number!”

“It’s not the same thing.” Paulina argued. “How many times do I have to say it’s not the same thing before you understand? Honestly Harry, the women you dry hump are nothing but sexual objects for you, because that’s how you see most women, you see them as objects that’ll do your bidding. So of course you’re not giving them you’re phone number. But me? Well, I see the Kennedys in terms of their character. I’m not trying to fuck them. I’m not checking them out and seeing what’s good with them and what’s not. I see three lawyers. Robert is an accomplished environmental attorney that invited me to visit Pace Law School with him. And before you ask why he wants me to visit Pace Law School, I’ll tell you. He wants me to visit because he gives a nationally syndicated talk radio program from there. He discusses policy with two other brilliant men, and he wants to expose me to that. And just so you know, he’s the one that’s into my eyes because they remind him of his dad’s. And truth be told, I think the underlying reason for his inviting me there is because he feels like it’ll be his dad looking at everything. And Edward! Edward is this brilliant lawyer that focuses in on healthcare. So he wants to show me that route. Why? Because I’m pretty sure that his dad told him that he had to be nice to me. And as for Francis, well, I don’t think he’s gonna invite me anywhere because he’s barely starting out. He’s an assistant district attorney for the county, so he’s not gonna invite me anywhere. I’ll probably only see him when I see his brothers.”

“I don’t want you to see him at all.”

“And I don’t want you to see Chelsy, but that’s not changing anytime soon.”

“You’re my girlfriend. You ought to be listening to me.”

“Calm your ass down.” Paulina couldn’t believe that he was trying to pull that line. “I don’t know where you get off thinking that that gives you any power over me. Yes, I’m your girlfriend, but the only reason that I’m your girlfriend is because I want to be your girlfriend. I’m not your girlfriend because you forced me into it. Therefore you have no right to be trying to tell me how to live my life. Now if Francis were an ex-boyfriend, then I would understand. And unlike you, I’d stay away from him. But he’s not an ex-boyfriend, he’s just some guy with whom I share similar political beliefs. That’s it. So don’t you dare think that I’m going to stay away from the Kennedys because you want to create drama where there is none,” she said. “I like them. They’re –”

“Well I bet ya like them. They’re exactly who you want to get in with. Aren’t they? I’ve heard you go on loads of times about how powerful they are, how influential. I reckon you’re trying to get in with that Francis so you can run off and be his bird later on.”

Her jaw dropped. She couldn’t believe he’d just said that.

“What did you just say?” she whispered in disbelief.

“You heard me.”

“You little man child.” Hot tears began to slide down her cheeks. “How can you think so little of me? How could you think I –” she couldn’t bring herself to say it. “After knowing me for two years, how can you think I’m capable of that? I’m not gonna someone’s girlfriend just for the recognition. I’m not gonna whore myself out for that. I have way too much self-respect for that. I don’t give a fuck if the person is a Kennedy or a prince or the fucking king! I would never do that to myself, because to be with someone, to be with someone because you want to leach off them . . . that’s . . . fuck that. And fuck you. Fuck you for thinking that I can be bought for that. Fuck you for thinking that I would leave you just because he’s a Kennedy. I don’t even know the guy. Do you understand how crazy this makes you sound? I don’t know the guy, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that I would never be with a Kennedy. They might be great men that do amazing things, but they’re shit husbands. They all cheat. They all fuck around somewhere else, and I’m not about that. Monogamy is what I care about.”

As she spoke, Harry began to realize how foolish he’d been, how petty and nonsensical his jealousy had led him to become.

“Darling, I’m –”

“Don’t you dare call me darling,” she snapped. “Don’t you dare try to act all sweet when you’ve just insulted me. While I understand that I am very much a fan of the Kennedys, there’s a difference between wanting to get in with them by my own merit and wanting to fuck my way into success. There’s a huge difference, but you seem to think that I’m so sleazy that I would do that to myself.”

“But I didn’t mean it. I was rash. That’s what I was.”

“Rash? Is that how you’re planning on making things better?”

“I was being a prat. Just let me apologize, is all.”

“I don’t want you to.” Paulina stated, sniffling slightly. “I don’t want to make this better, because I don’t want to be with a man that thinks I’m gonna go off and fuck people just to get ahead in life. I don’t want to be with a man that doesn’t respect me enough to believe in my integrity.”

“Shit. No. No! You can’t be getting at what I think you’re getting at. I was being a fucking wanker. I wasn’t thinking. I was . . . I was . . . well, I don’t know exactly what I was, but I’m sorry. Damn it, I’m sorry. I think you’re brilliant. I don’t think you’re the sort that would fuck someone. That wasn’t me that said that you would. That was someone else. That was my jealousy talking. That’s what it was, please darling, please, ya can’t get at what I reckon you’re getting at. Ya can’t. Please –”

“But I am,” she said in a firm voice. “Look, I don’t care if the rest of the world thinks that I’m capable of fucking my way upwards. I don’t give a fuck if the tabloids think that I got with you because I wanted a title or if they think that I’m gonna fuck my way through the Kennedys so they’ll help me out politically. I don’t give a fuck about that, but what I do give a fuck about is what my boyfriend thinks. I want my boyfriend to know that I have values, that I may drink and I may fuck before marriage, but that the only person I’m fucking is him, and that I won’t degrade myself just to get ahead in life. And since you obviously . . .” she fought to keep going, her heart was begging her to stop, to take it back and just forgive him for having insulted her like that, but her pride – oh, her pride joined forces with her mind, and they weren’t backing down. “. . . Think that I’m capable of fucking someone else just to get ahead, then I don’t want to be with you anymore, because I deserve better than that. I have worked hard at this relationship. I have put up with the press, they fucking broke into my apartment, they’ve been stalking me for the last two years, I put up with your grandmother when her fucking security details kidnapped me so she could try to bribe me, and I put up with all of it because I got to have you, because you were my boyfriend and I love you more than anything. But if you’re gonna doubt me after all that, then there’s nothing I could ever do to make you believe in me, and I’m not gonna waste my time trying to prove my love and my loyalty when every single day since we were found out, has been nothing but a never-ending trial that has shown time and time again that I will never betray you, that I love only you. But if you can’t believe in me, if you can’t look at all that and know that I’m only ever gonna be yours, then I don’t want to be yours.”