My Brother

"You hear that?" I asked. Sterling nodded. "That's Sgt. Donny Donowitz. You may know him better by his nickname- the Bear Jew. Now, if you heard of Aldo the Apache, you gotta have heard of the Bear Jew."

"I've heard of the bear jew." Sterling said.

"What did you hear about him?"

"He beats German soldiers with a club."

"He bashes their brains in with a baseball bat is what he does. Now, I'm gonna ask you one more damn time, and if you still "respectfully refuse", I'm gonna call the Bear Jew over here, and he's gonna take that big-ole bat of his, and he's gonna beat you to death with it. Now take your wiener schnitzel lickin' finger and point out on this map what I want to know."

"Fuck you. And your jew dogs!"

I laughed. "Actually, we're all tickled to hear you say that. Frankly, watchin' Donny beat Nazis to death is the closest we over get to goin' to the movies. DONNY!"

"Yeah?" Christian called.

"We got a German here who wants to die for his country! Oblige him!"

Christian walked out of the hallway, and he, Sterling, and I busted out laughing.

"Oh, that's such an amazing movie." I said. Sterling and Christian nodded in agreement.

"So what are the plans for today, m'lady?" Christian asked me.

I shrugged. "How about...we go to the park!" I proposed. Christian and Sterling just looked at me.

"What? I like the park..." I said, looking down at my feet.

"Why don't we go to the mall?" Sterling said.

"You got money?" I asked, raising my eyebrow at him.

He rolled his eyes at me. "Yes, Morgan, I have money."

"Good. I hate it when you beg me for money."

"When do I beg you for money?"

"Everytime we go to a store."

"Name one time!"

"Last week, at Alumni Hall. You bummed enough money for two shirts and a new hat."

"Oh."

Christian snickered. "Well the mall sounds good to me. I've got some money, too. Are we actually gonna buy something?"

Sterling and I laughed. "We are Cameron children. We don't go into a store and not spend money." Sterling said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Christian nodded. "I see. Are we gonna ride in Papa Smurf?" he asked.

"Why of course!" Sterling exclaimed. He grabbed his keys off the counter, and he and Christian walked out of the house and down to where Papa Smurf was parked. I walked/ran downstairs, where Dad was sitting, watching TV.

"Hey dad?" I said. He kept his eyes glued to the TV.

"What?" he asked.

"Sterling, Christian, and I are goin to the mall."

"Mkay. Be safe."

"Possibly."

I ran back upstairs and out the house to meet Christian and Sterling in the car. I squeezed in between them.

It took us fifteen minutes to get to the mall. I skipped ahead of them through the parking lot while they pretended they didn't know me.

When we got in the mall, we decided to go our separate ways.

"I'll go to the sports store..." Sterling said.

"I'll just be...everywhere." I said, laughing.

"I'll be in-" Christian began.

"Game Stop." Sterling and I interrupted. He laughed and nodded.

"You guys know me too well." he said.

I gave Christian a kiss, then we headed off to our stores.

I went into Spencer's first. I bought a candy bikini there (Dad and Sterling must NEVER find out. In fact, the only people who should know are me and Christian). Then I went to Victoria's Secret. I bought pretty pairs of underwear, and two sets of lingerie. One black and red, and one pink and white. Christian would definitely like those.

My cell phone began playing The Lonely Island's I'm On A Boat. That meant Sterling was calling. I had special ringtones for everyone.

"Hello?" I said, answering my phone.

"Hey. Me and Christian are at the front doors, meet us here whether you're done or not." Sterling said.

"Okay."

I ended the call and put my phone back in my pocket. I ran to the front door with my bags and met up with Sterling and Christian.

"Victoria's Secret and Spencer's?" Christian asked, looking at my bags then smirking at me. I smirked back.

"God, Morgan." Sterling said, in some girly girl voice. I just laughed at him.

We got back in the Papa Smurf truck, and headed back home.