Angels Fall First
Parasites.
As an outcast in my school, in my own town, I preferred staying silent. Voicing my opinions and standing up for myself would only add to their prejudice and hatred that would worsen my state.
"Weirdo" they yelled at me when I passed by.
"Mosher" they called when I sat in class.
"Freak" the drawings of me with slit wrists said.
I pushed it all away. I became immune. Their words had never hurt me, and they never will. I am strong, and those pathetic tries to get my attention and make my blood boil always failed. They never ceased, but always failed. I would never let it get under my skin.
They had all been infected with the same contagious and deadly parasite of hatred. It gave them the feeling of power and superiority; but when the sickness had finally eaten their bodies and souls - they'll cry.
Many friends of mine had let it reach the deep of their hearts, I've seen them fall one after the other. This was my way of avenging them.
'Go on,' I would yell inside my head at them, shooting silent words with my eyes at them 'Cast a stone at me, I am not afraid!'
I was smart enough. I didn't cut, I didn't do drugs and the only alcoholic drink I'd ever drink was Beer. But to be honest, even the greatest are able to fall and break down. I just wanted people to break through the surface and see my real self, instead of letting prejudice blind them.
And I've tried countless of times to approach them, to behave nicely in order to gain their respect and affection. But they are too blind and refuse to let me into their hearts.
I wouldn't really mind if only the blindness and refusal would not be followed by violent acts and sharp words against myself.
As if I had ever done anything wrong to them.
Do I deserve to be treated this way for being myself? For loving something different? For marching to a different beat?
I refuse to believe that.
"Weirdo" they yelled at me when I passed by.
"Mosher" they called when I sat in class.
"Freak" the drawings of me with slit wrists said.
I pushed it all away. I became immune. Their words had never hurt me, and they never will. I am strong, and those pathetic tries to get my attention and make my blood boil always failed. They never ceased, but always failed. I would never let it get under my skin.
They had all been infected with the same contagious and deadly parasite of hatred. It gave them the feeling of power and superiority; but when the sickness had finally eaten their bodies and souls - they'll cry.
Many friends of mine had let it reach the deep of their hearts, I've seen them fall one after the other. This was my way of avenging them.
'Go on,' I would yell inside my head at them, shooting silent words with my eyes at them 'Cast a stone at me, I am not afraid!'
I was smart enough. I didn't cut, I didn't do drugs and the only alcoholic drink I'd ever drink was Beer. But to be honest, even the greatest are able to fall and break down. I just wanted people to break through the surface and see my real self, instead of letting prejudice blind them.
And I've tried countless of times to approach them, to behave nicely in order to gain their respect and affection. But they are too blind and refuse to let me into their hearts.
I wouldn't really mind if only the blindness and refusal would not be followed by violent acts and sharp words against myself.
As if I had ever done anything wrong to them.
Do I deserve to be treated this way for being myself? For loving something different? For marching to a different beat?
I refuse to believe that.