Arrangements

While the guys went into the venue, I started on whatever my hands led me. Again, I was drawn to Gerard, and I cursed myself. I had begun to cut out dark ovals for his eyes, the white for his pale face and red around the eyes. I was already finished gluing when I noticed it was him. I groaned to myself and took it outside; wanting to trash it.

As I walked off the bus, I bumped into someone, "Sorry," I murmured quickly.

"Wait, where are you goin'? And what's that?"

I was a few feet from the stranger, and I turned. My heart dropped into my stomach when I saw Adam Lazzara from Taking Back Sunday.

"No way." I mumbled, "Are you...?"

He chuckled, coursing his hair, "Yeah. Uh, I'm Adam." He stuck his hand out.

I stepped closer and shook his hand, "I'm Stormy and I don't mean to sound like a creep, but I really like your band."

He smiled, "Well, Stormy, if you're a fan, how come you're out here and not waiting for us to come on?"

My mind went blank, then I shook my head, "I didn't know that you guys were playing. I'm bunking with My Chemical Romance." I told him.

"Really? You one of their girlfriends?" 

"No, no. Uh...well, I don't...I'm not sure." I rambled.

He chuckled, "Oh, so you were invited?"

"Yes."

"Okay, since that mystery is solved, what is that canvas that you are carrying?"

I lifted the canvas up, "Uh, some mindless bullshit I made." I mumbled.

"Can I see?" 

I hesitated, but I eventually handed it to him. He looked it over and smiled, "Wow, is this Gerard?"

"Yeah."

"This is good. It's so...so abstract but real. You caught that smirk so well."

I smiled, "Thank you."

"Will you make me one?" he looked up at me, "Like a small one? I could pay you--"

"It's quite alright, I could make one of you or for you." I felt my cheeks grow warm.

"Really? That'd be awesome if you could."

"Yeah, I just need a picture of what you want."

"Y'know, I'd like you to make me up as you see me." He smiled and handed me the canvas back, "Any picture, love to see it through your eyes."

"Yeah, sure."

"Thanks, uh, can we exchange numbers? You could call me when you finish, or I could call you..." he trailed with a small smile.

I nodded, "Alright."

We exchanged numbers quickly, "I gotta go in, prepare, but I'll see you later?"

"Yeah."

He lingered a bit and stuck his hand out, "Later, Storm."

I shook it nicely, "Bye."

He waved once more before he hurried to the entry to the venue.

God, I got butterflies like crazy.

I had taken Gerard's canvas and wondered what I should do with it. I decided to set it underneath the bus. The bunker was empty, and I hoped no one would find it; I set it inside and closed it. 

I got back on the bus and began looking for a good picture of Adam. I noticed Frank had a magazine with TBS on it, and I grabbed it; I didn't want to start right away, so I decided to read it before.

-

"Man, that show was crazy!" I heard Frank's voice first as the guys piled on the bus, "Stormy, what're you doin'?"

I was in a mess of construction paper, "I'm doing somethin'." I mumbled, looking over the picture of Adam.

"Ooh, you gotta crush on Adam Lazzara? You know he's on tour with us, right?"

I looked up at him, "Yes, I sort of met him earlier."

"Really? What happen?"

"I tried not to freak out, and then he asked me to make him something."

Frank wiggled his eye brows, "Stormy and Adam sittin' in a tree--"

"It's not like that!" I blushed.

"Then what is it?"

"He saw one of my projects and he asked for one. I'm making one."

"He likes you." Frank grinned.

"Please, I'll believe it when he says it." Frank and I sat at the small table, "Do you think we have time to head to like Target before we pull out?"

Frank nodded, "Yeah, we don't leave till 12."

"I really need to get a poster board." 

"I can have Worm take you," Mikey walked over.

I smiled, "Thanks."

"Want me to come with?" Frank asked.

"Uh, nah, it's okay." 

"I'll go with her," Gerard's cold, hard voice came up behind me.

"No, I'm fine on my own."

"Yeah, but I need to get some shit." He said, "Come on."

Frank and Mikey just looked at us, "Yeah, okay."

I grabbed my shoes, and put my things away and followed Gerard out the bus. He found Worm and told him that he was taking me to the store and to get something to eat. I hated that He was gonna drive us and not Worm.

Worm handed him the keys to the van and I followed Gerard to it. I climbed in the front, swinging my bag on my lap and watched him get in. He didn't say a word as he started to van and quickly exited the venue's back parking lot.

"You and Lazzara...what's up with that?" He finally asked, slowing his speed towards town.

"Nothing. I'm just making him--"

"Bullshit. He told me about that canvas you made of me, and how he thinks you're cute. You didn't tell him that we're getting married?" He didn't even look at me.

"Well, you made it apparent that being married to me was one of the last things you'd want to do, so why does it matter?" I snapped back at him.

"Are you mad because I don't want you, or are you mad because I said that I don't want to marry you?"

I glared at him, still he didn't look at me, "Are you serious? You really think I give a damn about you wanting me?"

"Yeah, because you're going after everyone on this goddamn tour, and it's only been two days!" He looked over at me and stopped; we were in a deserted parking lot.

"You are a nut job, Gerard, honestly! You're hot and you're cold, you treat me like shit and talk down--"

"I never talk down to you!"

"Last night you did! You are such a jerk, and I have done nothing but try and be nice to you! I get that you don't want to be friends with me, but could you at least be civil to me?"

"No, I can't." He turned off the van.

"Why not?" I furrowed my brows at him, "Am I that unpleasant to be around, to be your acquaintance?"

He clenched his jaw and kept his eyes focused ahead. I wanted to smack him, but I didn't, I fought the urge. 

"Y'know what, forget I asked for this," I told him softly, "It's obvious that you really, really don't like me at all, so we can just forget the marriage. I may hurt my father, but I having you out of my life is so much better than dealing with you for God knows how long." I opened the door to the van and got out. 

I saw the bright lights of the stores and headed in the direction. I truly didn't care if I would have to walk back, I wanted to get away from him. My shoes made a weird scrunchy sound as I walked, then I heard his worn boots rush up behind me. He grabbed me gently and turned me around, "We had an agreement."

"Our agreement is now voided. You can take your hands off me because I know you're probably disgusted that you're touching me." I spat angrily.

"Stormy it isn't like that!" He snapped, his arms gripped my forearms. "I can't let you in."

"I don't want to be let in anywhere!" I screeched at him, "You do not want me, I get it! I fucking get that you don't want me! All I asked was to be treated as an equal!"

He stared down at me, "Fine."

"Fine what?" I asked angrily.

"I'll be civil to you."

"Why should I care now?" I ripped away from him, "I don't like you, you don't like me." I stepped away from him.

"I'm doing this for your dad." His voice was tight and angry, "I'm doing it for him because he's a good man and I can see he means the world to you."

I felt tears prickling my eyes, "Yes, he does mean the world to me."

"So, fuck it, okay? I'll marry you and then we'll be square."

"Yeah, okay." 

"Come back to the van and I'll take you to the store." His voice was gentler and welcoming.

-

At the store, Gerard followed me towards the art supply section and didn't say anything. I grabbed the poster board, and went onto the register. In line, he stood behind me, "Why did you construct me?" he finally asked.

I didn't look at him, "I don't know. My hands took over, I guess."

"Can I see it?"

"I tossed it." I lied, "I was upset with myself for doing it." I excused.

He didn't say much else after I paid and went back to the van. He lit up a cigarette and drove, silence and tension was in the air. I could sense he was mad. It was like the guy lived in madness.

When we arrived back at the buses, he handed the keys back to Worm and I got on the bus. Frank and Mikey looked at us and smiled, their eyes trying to read us, but they sensed the tension.

"You owe me $5," Frank said to Mikey.

"Screw you, Iero." Mikey mumbled.

I didn't bother with their bickering, I just put my things away and went towards the bathroom to undress and get ready for bed. I combed my hair back and climbed into my bunk; I could hear Gerard talking to Mikey a few feet away.

"...Leave me alone." Gerard grumbled at him and went towards the back lounge.

I shifted in my bunk and laid there for a few moments, trying to wrap my head around the madness.

I don't know how long I was asleep, but I woke up to harsh whispers...Mikey and Gerard. I opened my curtain a bit, the bus shifting beneath me.

"Give her a chance!" Mikey whispered harshly.

"No. I don't like her." Gerard spat.

"Remember what Grandma said? Stormy is--"

"No she isn't." He stated angrily.

"You like her, Gee. You do. You don't just buy five grand worth of her art if you don't."

"She's a good artist, that's it."

"Then why were you pissed off when Lazzara was talkin' bout her earlier?"

"Because...because that shit makes me look bad. She's suppose to be my fiancée and she's fucking with some other singer?"

"You haven't shown interest--"

"I have no interest to show her. I don't like her."

"That's a lie, and we both know it."

"It's the truth, you're just too dumb to understand it." I heard Gerard walk down the hall and then slip into his bunk.

All kinds of feelings swirled within me. I was making him look bad. It was just like my ex relationship. I was the bad in this, and there was no way to deal with me. I guessed, then, that I had to shut myself up and only say hello when people came over to me. I needed to behave like a good wife. I needed to please my husband.