Arrangements

I stayed awake until Mikey opened the curtain to my bunk and shook my shoulder. I had been lying on my side, thinking of Toby. I turned and met him, "Good morning." I murmured.

"You wanna take a walk with me? We're in Oklahoma, and we're staying for two days to do two shows."

"Uh, okay." I mumbled.

"We got rooms, everyone is already picked out. Uh, me, you and Frankie are sharing, that cool?"

I smiled, "Yeah. Do I get a real shower?"

He chuckled, "Yeah, c'mon."

I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and dressed. Mikey lent me one of his hoodies, it was cold early that morning and I followed him towards the hotel. 

"About Gee, Stormy, he's really--"

"It's fine. I get it, he doesn't like companionship," I muttered.

"No...it's just..." he sighed as we got towards the entrance, "ever since Grandma died, he's been living in hell."

"Oh," I looked down, shoving my hands in his hoodie; I saw that it had his name ironed on it, "I'm sorry, I didn't know. When did she pass?"

"Last November. Gerard nearly lost his mind, he loves her more than he loves anyone."

"Is that why he's so mad at me all the time?" We started for the stairs.

"Yeah. You remind him of her, me too, it's really weird."

I looked at him, "How?" We reached the second landing, I followed him.

"You both have dark, wavy hair-- Well Grandma's hair was grey, but in her old photos, you two have the same style hair. You both are blunt, y'know, you say whatever comes to mind. You both admire Gee..."

"I don't admire him...I think he's handsome, but with his attitude, he's hard to like."

"I know." Mikey nodded, "He's running from you because you remind him of her. You both are artistic, and do amazing crafts, and you make friends easily. He was selfish with Grandma, y'know what I mean?"

"He didn't like to share her with you?" He nodded, "Didn't that bother you?"

"Not really, because I know Grandma loved us both equally, she just liked to spoil Gerard because he was different and was the "star" out of our family."

"So, why is he running from me?"

"He's afraid to have you, then lose you like Grandma. He can't bear the brunt of that."

"Why won't he just tell me that?"

He stopped as we got towards the rooms, "He's hiding, he doesn't like people to know his true feelings."

"That man is foolish." I mumbled.

"How do you feel about him now?"

"I don't know Mikey." I told him truthfully, "I'm glad I know this, but I wish he would have been the one to tell me."

"I'm trying to convince him." Mikey pulled out the keycard to our room.

"Don't strain yourself."

-

Later in the afternoon, I had went out walking to get a feel of the place. I grabbed a hot chocolate and cleared my mind. I was thinking of Gerard, Jesus, that fool was on my mind. He infuriated me, but at least I knew why he was such an asshole. I took a large gulp of my lukewarm drink and leaned against the outer wall of the building.

"Hey Stormy." I heard Adam's voice.

Happiness and fear rose in my body.

"Hi." I spoke nervously.

He had his hands shoved in his pockets, "Are you coming to the show tonight? Love to have you there."

I nodded, "Yeah, I kind of owe it to the guys anyway."

"You aren't gonna leave after their set are you?" His smile was cute, sly, it gave me butterflies.

"No, I'll stay and watch you guys play too."

"Promise?" He stuck out his pinkie.

I giggled, "I promise." I wrapped my little finger with his.

"Cool. See you tonight, Storm."

"See you."

I bit my lip as Adam skipped off towards the front. My entire body felt like gelatin, I wasn't so confused anymore, and Gerard wasn't on my mind. I leaned off the wall and finished my drink before I headed back into the hotel.

I got back to work on that little art project for Adam. Frank and Mikey had gone to do some radio interview, and Bob and Ray were somewhere. Gerard, lord knows where he was. I busily kept my hands moving, my mind blank as I constructed Adam's face perfect for the picture.

Yes, I was nervous, because I wanted him to like it. He had liked Gerard's, how would he like his own? 

As I nearly finished the small picture, there was a knock on the room door. I looked at my watch; it was only 2; I guess it was time to head to the venue. I went to the door and opened it, Gerard (who stunk of booze and cheap perfume) stood there.

"Gerard?"

"Time to go." He mumbled drunkenly.

"Yeah, let me get my shoes."

He stepped in, "We got 30 minutes, they think I'm gonna puke." He closed the door and leaned against it.

"Are you gonna puke?" I asked, making my way towards the desk to get my shoes.

"Maybe." He mumbled, following me.

I shook my head and grabbed my shoes; he fell on the bed that belonged to Mikey and Frankie. I sat on mine and began to lace my shoes on.

"You drink?" He asked.

"Only during holidays." I told him.

"Sucks. I want expensive champagne at our wedding. Buckets of it."

I rolled my eyes, "Sure."

"Honeymoon...I want the cheapest wine and vodka...that shit will kill me."

I watched him as his fingers trailed up and down his clothed stomach. I felt bad for him, and I don't know why, but I guessed it was because he was drunk. 

"We're going on a honeymoon, right?" He asked me, his weary head lifting to look at me.

I shrugged, "Why would we?"

"We're getting married. Might as well enjoy ourselves."

"We aren't really a couple, we barely enjoy each others company, why go on a honeymoon?" 

I knew all of this went over his head.

"Yeah." He grumbled, "You ready?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

"Help me up." I went over and stuck my hand out, helping him stand.

I patted his back, "You okay?"

"I'm fine."

I helped Gerard towards the elevator and down to the van. Ray and Bob were standing there, along with Worm, and eyed us. I shook my head and helped him inside. 

"He's drunk." Bob stated as he climbed in behind me.

"You're ass better sober up before we get there." Ray told him.

"Where are Frank and Mikey?" I asked, changing the subject; Gerard slumped beside me.

"At the venue getting ready for the meet and greet. We've been waiting for Gerard."

I looked over at him, and he didn't look at me. His head slumped against the window, I wanted to slap him.