Arrangements

"Hey lover." Gerard's voice was hot against my ear.

I groaned, shoving him away from me, "Get off me."

I turned and saw him in his make up, his hair messy, making me want him. He had that smirk, fake thin red slashes on his face, and I wanted to add a real one. I hated him...not really.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Me? You flipped out on me earlier! Fuck you." I walked away from him, put he yanked me back.

"Don't walk away from me," he hissed into my ear, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You! You're what's wrong with me!" I told him, "Get away from me! I don't want to be around you." I pulled my wrist from him and walked away. 

"Stormy, get your goddamn ass over here!" He yelled behind me, "I'll do something you'll fucking regret!"

"Really? Me?" I turned, "What can you do that'll hurt me? I've been called all kinds of names, I've been insulted and treated like hell! Whatever you dish, I can take it."

I started to walk again, but he grabbed me, "Don't walk away from me!"

"What do you want from me?" I asked angrily, "What?"

He looked at me as if he couldn't answer and he didn't. He just stared at me, he finally leaned down and kissed me. He leaned against my ear, "I want you to stop seeing Adam."

"Why?"

"Because I said so. Try and look as if being my fiancée isn't terrible."

"Who knows I'm your fiancée besides the band?"

"Tomorrow, everyone will." He let go of my wrist and walked away.

"I don't have to listen to you." I said to his back.

He stopped, "Tomorrow, Stormy." Then he walked off towards the venue.

I got back in the bus, it was quiet and I liked quiet. I wanted to be alone to think, but there wasn't much to think about. My head hurt and I wanted to sleep this mess away. I never wanted to see Gerard again. I just wanted to fall asleep and wake up in my shitty loft with my sisters cats; God, I sound like a cat lady!


I had fallen asleep in my bunk, and it was 3 am when I awoke. The bus was moving, and I could hear Ray snoring, and I pulled the curtain back; the bus was quiet. I wondered why they hadn't woke me up even poked me. Surely Frankie would've poked me.

I climbed out my bunk and I went to the front lounge. I said hello to Eugene and laid on the couch. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I felt more relaxed out there. 

Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep. I had slept on my back, hand on my stomach and my arm tucked under my head. I was slept nicely, until I felt someone poking my face.

"Stop." I mumbled tiredly.

"She's alive!" It was Frank.

I had to smile, "Frankie. What time is it?"

"8 am, and we have to go. We were given strict instructions not to speak to you, but Hitler Jr. is gone."

I opened my eyes and saw Frank and Ray, "Hitler Jr.?" I asked.

"Gerard." Ray explained, "Last night, he was so fucking wasted and told everyone that you were off limits and then he told everyone you guys were getting married."

I put a hand on my forehead, "Oh god."

"Then," Frank started seriously, "He and Adam almost got into a fight about it. Gee told him that he wasn't allowed to talk to you anymore. He put Worm on strict order for Adam to stay away from you."

I squeezed my eyes shut, "That son of a bitch. Where is he?"

"Having a cig outside." Frank told me.

I got up and went to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and wetting and washing my face. I didn't care about my hair; I grabbed my shoes and put my hair up. I rushed passed the guys and outside, Frank tried to grab me, but I ripped away.

It was cold, wherever we were, and I didn't care. I could see my steaming breath as I looked for Gerard. I saw him sitting on a bench outside the venue and rushed over to him. He saw me and rolled his eyes; I pushed him as hard as I could, but that didn't do much.

"How dare you act like a goddamn Neanderthal about me? You don't own me! I am not a fucking toy, and you can't say who I can and can't be around!" I shoved him again once I saw that bored look on his face. "You are such an asshole!"

"Are you done?" he asked, tossing is cigarette, "I can see your nipples through your tank top."

I groaned and slugged him as hard as I could in his chest, "You son of a bitch! I wish I hadn't ever met you!"

Still, that bored look on his face, "Save the dramatics for someone who cares, Sugar."

"I hate you! You..." I felt all my anger way thin, "Why are you so mean? What the hell have I ever done to you?"

He didn't answer, he just stared at me, eyes lazed over. He was either bored or really tired.

I finally decided to push him over the edge, "If your Grandma could see you, I'm sure she'd be ashamed of you." I walked away, but I saw that anger rise as soon as I said the "G word".

I ran to the bus as soon as he said my name. I rushed in, past the guys and into the bathroom. I locked myself in and heard him enter. 

"Where is she?" He hissed at them.

"In the bathroom." Ray said, "Why?"

"Get off the bus." He told them calmly.

"Dude, why?"

"Get off!" he yelled at them.

They said something I couldn't hear and then the bus door closed. He came bolting down the way and banged on the door, causing me to jump, "Open the goddamn door, you little bitch!"

"No!" my voice shook.

"Open it right now or I'll fucking kick it in!" He banged harder.

"No! Fuck you!"

He was silent, "Fine. You want it that way, wait until you're alone." he gave one final threatening blow to the door and then he left. 

I didn't dare open the door for at least 15 minutes. As soon as I did, I was happy I was alone again.

I was frightened by his warning though. 

-

There was no show today, and I was scared when I saw the guys get on the bus again. I stood frozen at the table when I saw Gerard get on. I stood and waited my punishment; Ray and Frank looked at me worryingly.

Gerard came over to me calmly and took my arm. He led me to the back lounge and shut the door behind him, locking it. I swallowed thickly, wondering if he was gonna hit me. I had never been hit before by a man. I was scared, but I could feel it coming.

"I'm not going to hit you." He said angrily.

"How did--"

"It's all over your goddamn face." He muttered.

"What're you gonna do?" I asked cautiously.

He dug into his pocket, pulling out a small, black jewelry box. He lent it out to me and I took it. I opened it saw a small, gold ring.

"What's this for?" I asked.

"We had a radio and TV interview and I told them I was getting married. I had these made for us back in Jersey. Brian just sent them to me." He spoke softly.

I looked at him, not touching the ring, "Why?"

"Live up to the sham." He spat, "To get more action. Girls love when musicians get engaged. They throw pussy at us like it's going out of fucking style. They feel they can do better than the chick we choose to marry."

I looked at him, feeling more anger. I closed the box, "Keep it. I'm sure when the right groupie comes along, you'll be able to give it to her. I'm sure she'll care more about a gold ring than I do." I shoved the box in the breast pocket of his suit jacket and unlocked the door and walked out.

He was trying to hurt me again. 

It wasn't gonna work. I had hurt him and it was fucking killing him that he couldn't get to me.