Arrangements

I gave Gerard the cold shoulder throughout the day. I didn't want to listen or be around him. I wish I wasn't so goddamn sensitive about every little thing, but I was. Gerard didn't have to be an asshole. He could just pretend to like me like my ex did, since he liked treating me the same way.

"Why are you acting like such a bitch?" he asked once we were in the van again.

I felt tears stinging; his tone is what turned me off, "Because I can be." I muttered aimlessly.

He gave a sigh and started down the road, "I'm hungry." He passed some fast food places.

"Then fucking eat." I mumbled, staring out the window. Those goddamn tears were getting the best of me.

Gerard kept looking over at me, his hand touching mine before I scooted away. I had tiny bruises on my wrist and waist, but my wrist stung, so I recoiled from folding them in my arms.

"Are you hungry?" he pulled into this strip mall.

"No." I sniffled noticeably, and fuck, I hated myself for it.

"'Fucks wrong with you?" he asked angrily.

"I don't know." I spat, still not looking at him.

"I'll be back." he got out the van and went off towards one of the fast food places; I didn't see which.

I got out the van and up towards the stores. I saw some clothing stores with cute clothes and costume jewelry. I walked around and saw a pair of black ray bans I could wear to hide my tears. I shook my head at the de ja vu I was experiencing. 

I quickly paid, put them on my face and kept looking around. I honestly didn't know how long I wondered until I felt familiar hands grab my arm. I was spun around and met with an angry looking Gerard, "What the fuck, Stormy?"

I furrowed my brows, "What?"

"I've been looking for you for twenty minutes! My fuckin' food is cold now!"

I ripped his arms from my shoulder, "Sorry, I didn't know I was gone that long. Why didn't you just eat?"

"I'm not a bastard. What if you had been kidnapped--"

"Abducted." I corrected.

"This is no time to be a smart ass! What if you were abducted or some shit?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, because I'm gonna be abducted at a clothing store, wearing black sunglasses." I started off towards the van.

"Did you buy those?" He asked, following me.

"Why, yes I did, father. Twelve whole dollars!" I said sarcastically.

"I swear to God--"

"Whatever." I mumbled as he went on about something.

I got back in the van, crossed my legs and waited for him. He got in and grabbed his bag of food; "I'm not even hungry anymore..." he said softly.

I bit my tongue, "Sorry." I murmured.

He didn't say anything, he just started the van and drank from his soda. 

As we drove, he picked at his food, while I stared off, not acknowledging him. I nearly fell asleep, but my phone rang, and I answered it without looking.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Storm." It was Adam.

I looked at Gerard, then at my lap again, "Hi. Sorry, but I don't think it's a good idea if you and I talk anymore."

I felt Gerard look over at me.

"He's with you isn't he?" Adam sounded sad.

"I apologize. Maybe when I get back to..." I stopped myself, "We can't talk anymore." I knew that saying anything involving the future would piss Gerard off.

"Stormy, you can't let him control you."

I sighed, "Bye..." I hung up and stuffed my phone back in my pocket.

"Good. You're listening to me." Gerard commented with a smirk.

"I don't feel like being the brunt of your goddamned wrath, so don't get a big head." I crossed my arms, wincing slightly at the pain in my arm.

He didn't say anything else as we continued driving. I kept silent because I hated Gerard. He kept silent because he felt that he had something against me. The jerk.



Nothing had changed for an entire week. I didn't speak to anyone, but the guys, and my family. My parents thought this tour was going swell, and Astrid knew I was suffering. I couldn't wait to get home, we were only a day from LA. I needed to get away from Gerard, even though he and I hadn't had a proper conversation in over a week.

I didn't get to see Adam either, which upset me. I really liked him, and I wanted to see him. Poor Worm felt sorry for me, but he knew Gerard's wrath and didn't let Adam near me. I rarely left the bus, and when I did, it was to get some fresh air or to go to the store or something of that nature.

I didn't see the shows, because I didn't want to see Gerard. I didn't want to be apart of that crowd because I was afraid of talking to someone I wasn't suppose to. I hated staying on the bus, but that was life for now.

"Come with me," Gerard said to me once we had reached Bakersfield.

"Why?" I questioned quietly; it was late, everyone had gone to sleep and I was busying myself with doodling.

"Because, I want to show you something." He lent out his hand, cigarette hanging from his lips.

I hesitantly took his hand and followed him off the bus. Unexpectedly, Gerard took me under his arm to warm me from the light cold, and led me into the side of the venue. He pulled out a keycard, swiped it, and led us in. 

It was dark, and I could hear our feet echo as he led us through the darkness. "There's steps here, be careful." He helped me to some steps and then, I felt a curtain.

"Are we on the stage?" I asked him.

"Yeah." Then the lights came on.

I saw the empty stage and the darken seats and floor. I was still crept under his arm and looked around still, "Why?"

"Stop asking why, just...enjoy it." Gerard's voice was amused, a bit happy.

"It's exciting." He let me go gently and I walked across the empty stage, "I don't think I could stand here every night."

"You get use to it." Gerard blew a cloud of smoke.

I looked at the empty floor and wondered why he had shown me this. I looked at him and raised my brow slightly. He tossed his cigarette and stomped it out.

"I showed you this because tomorrow...I'm gonna fuck you right where you're standing."

I rolled my eyes, "Everything all about sex with you?" I turned my back, already upset.

"Yeah. It's the only thing I have control over." His voice grew closer to me.

"Music, food, drugs, drinking," I listened as I felt his hands take hold of my shoulders, "Those things you have control over."

"True, but sex is the most exciting," his lips pressed against the back of my neck, "Better than making music, better than eating, better than getting high and drunk. I feel alive when we touch."

"Stop it. I get you're using me, and I don't like it," I moved away from him.

"Hey!" He snapped at me, "You're using me too!"

"I never forced you! You can back out of this thing all you want!"

Gerard bit his lip when I faced him, "I'm in too deep."

"What?"

"I'm in too deep!" He looked pissed, "Everything is all done, everything is finished! I want what I want now."

I rolled my eyes, "So because you chose to marry me, you think I am obligated to fuck you whenever you want?"

"Yes." 

"Go screw yourself, Gerard." I stormed past him and made sure to take my time with my steps.

"Get back here, Stormy!" His voice was threatening.

I stopped, as if I were hypnotized, "Why?"

"Because I said so!"

"I don't want to!" I felt those tears build, "I'm tired of..." I stopped myself, "I want to go back to the bus."

"Come here...please." his voice was soft, pleading almost.

I sighed and made my way back onto the lighten stage. Gerard took my arm and led me to the middle of the stage. We sat down and he pulled me onto his lap.

I was obligating.