Arrangements

As soon as I got home, I took a bath. I sunk into my tub as soon as it was filled with scolding hot water and closed my eyes. Astrid hated when I did this, but I enjoyed it. Too often I fell asleep in it, and that was the reason my bathroom door had no lock.

"You better not be sleepin' in there!" Astrid called to me.

"I'm not." I muttered, keeping my eyes closed.

"I'm gonna go to the store then go back to the venue, you want anything?" I heard her step to the door.

"Veggie burger." 

"Okay, I'll be back. For the love of God, don't fall asleep."

"Turn your iPod stereo on, then."

"Okay."

A few seconds later, I heard Drowning Lessons and laughed. I heard her let out a laugh, then the front door closed. I sang along until the next song played, and I drifted off. 

I didn't think I was asleep that long, because the front door closed again, and I heard Helena by the Misfits playing lower than usual. I groaned tiredly, it was Astrid's favorite, aside from Astro Zombies (for obvious reasons).

"I'm awake!" I yelled out.

I heard heavy footsteps stop at the door, and awaited for her to say something. Then a knock; I kept my eyes shut, "Trid, I'm awake."

The door opened and I opened my eyes. Gerard stood at my door and I furrowed my brows.

"What the fuck--"

He cut me off, "We need to talk."

"Oh Jesus, again?" I didn't sit up, I was naked and I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me naked again.

"Yeah. Your sister hit me."

I raised my brow, sitting up, "Where?"

Gerard pointed to his gut, "She said I deserved it for treating you like a whore."

I rolled my eyes and covered myself in the warm bubbles, "Well, you deserved it."

"When did I treat you like a whore?" He questioned angrily.

"The other night." I looked up at the ceiling.

He sighed, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I don't care."

"C'mon! This is fucked up!"

"Why do you care? Because my 100lbs, 4'11 sister hit you? Grow up."

He sighed, "I don't like you being mad at me! When you're mad at me, my brother and my friends are mad at me!"

I shook my head, "Tell them that I like being treated the way you treat me. I'm putting on a show because I'm a bitch." I spat angrily.

Gerard put the toilet seat down and sat, "Is that true?"

"Yes," I lied.

"Ugh, stop acting like this!" he balled his fist.

"Why don't you leave me alone? Just go away! You don't have to see me until the wedding, then you can go do whatever the hell you want! Then when my father dies we can get an annulment or a fucking divorce! Is this all hard  for you to comprehend?" I felt my throat grow tight as I said all that.

Gerard gave me an angry glare and stood, "I can't ever love you. I felt sorry for you, y'know. I thought maybe if I pretended for a little while, you'd stop feeling like a pathetic little brat." 

I rolled my eyes as he stood and began to stalk out the room. I soaked my left hand, twisted my ring and threw it at his back just as he exited. I crossed my arms, shutting my eyes and felt him turn; I knew he was glaring at me again. His heavy footsteps left the room and I opened my eyes. I was no longer in the mood to bathe.

-

I didn't tell Astrid about Gerard's unwelcome visit and she didn't tell me about hitting him. She had come home, given me my veggie burger and then went to get ready. When she had finished, she came to my room and stood at my door way for a moment.

I was watching the Lost Boys, with Dobbie on my stomach, petting him, "Yeah?" I looked at her.

"I'm going to the show. Are you not coming along?" she shook her hair.

"No. I'm watching a movie. Corey Haim is way hotter than the band."

She snorted, "Whatever. Frankie is a babe."

"Tomato -tomatto." I mumbled, looking back at my tv.

"Stop being depressed and come with me." Astrid urged.

"No."

"Stormy, please?"

"No, I don't want to be near him. I hate him."

Astrid watched me, "Stormy...what he said and did really fuck you up?"

I looked at her, then at my tv, "Maybe. I just don't like him. The thought of even being in the same area as him makes me ill."

She sighed, "Okay...I'll be home late."

"I know."

"Love you."

"Love ya."

Astrid left a few minutes later and everything came down on me. I started to cry; not bawl, just small tears. I was feeling sorry for myself...I didn't like myself.

I realized how much I had hatred for myself, than the people around me. I didn't like the way I felt, or how I sought life. I wasn't happy and I don't when I'd be happy again.

Soon, I fell asleep, and I was grateful for that. Sleep is the only thing I liked about the world.

-

The following morning, I woke up earlier than usual and went downstairs for breakfast. I saw Frank and Astrid asleep on the couch, and didn't bother them; they looked exhausted. I made some toast, then went to get dressed. I had an idea for a canvas and I didn't want Astrid to bother me about being social.

I left everything, but my wallet and left. I was going to the gallery, and spend the entire day there. I knew I would be disturbed.

Oh, how happy I was when I saw that Dave was in, but he was doing paperwork. He let me in, I took a spot on the corner of the empty gallery and took out my sketch pad. 

My ideas of the perfect life began to take shape. I drew a skeleton woman with a ball and chain walking down the isle. The iron ball and chain had a capital G on it, and she had handcuffs on her boney wrist. The bouquet was dead roses and she wore and crucifix around her neck. Her hair was short, though, and her dress was dirty and torn.

After that was finished, I started on her being a housewife. Two Smiling kids at the table; boy and girl, who weren't skeletons themselves. The woman was wearing an old housewife's house dress with a feather duster and rag in hand. Her hair was still short, she had a tear on her face. I drew the outline of her husband with a question mark on his blank face.

I was so deep in this knew series, that I didn't see the shadow figure step up to me.

"You are so morbid." The figure said.

I instantly knew who it was and fought myself to not look up. But I did. Fuck, why?