Arrangements

Gerard didn't speak when we both got dressed and went back to the dressing room. I was unsure of what to say, I wanted to say something -anything- to break this short spell. 

"Gerard, are you okay?" I touched his arm as we all began to get back towards the bus.

He looked at me, his eyes looking down at me -angry- "Yeah...fine."

"Did I do--"

He cut me off, "Fuckin' fine, Stormy, Jesus!"

He stormed off in front of me, leaving me feeling hurt. I honestly didn't know what I did now, but I had a feeling it had to do with me saying the "L" word. I tapped myself on my forehead and followed behind on the bus. I sure they heard him yell at me; he was pretty loud. I ignored their glances as soon as I got on.

"You wanna play some games with me?" Frankie asked with that charming smile of his.

I nodded, "Sure...but I really, really don't know how to play." I gave a lame laugh.

Frank plopped down beside me, "We got two days off, I can teach you."

Even with the tension between Gerard and I, Frank being kind seemed to make it disappear. Frank grabbed the controllers and showed me how to play some racing game with dual screens. We played all night, or at least until Ray came and made us turn it off and go to bed.

I didn't have to change much, and slipped into my bunk; "Goodnight, Stormy." Frank yawned and climbed into his bunk.

"Night, Frankie." I yawned too, pulling my pillow closer to me.

I had nearly forgotten the small fight between Gerard and I; until I smelt his scent on my pillow. I wanted so desperately for him to climb into my bunk and hold me like he had earlier, but I knew that wouldn't happen. I even thought about climbing into his bunk, but I knew he wouldn't have that either. So, I tried to fall asleep with the wheels of the bus turning. I finally fell asleep when the bus stopped to fill up.

-

The following day, I went out shopping with Frank and Mikey. It was mid afternoon and we had left everyone to do radio shows. Gerard had been giving me the cold shoulder the entire morning, so I didn't even opt to talk to him.

"Are guys gonna do that whole talking to the marriage counselors and priest?" Frank asked as we sorted through a mess of $5 DVDs at Best Buy.

"No. We're going to go home and get married." I tried to pretend I didn't care while I looked through old and terrible DVDs.

"No bachelorette party?" he nudged me playfully.

"No," I looked at him, "all my friends are in LA, and Gerard wanted this wedding to be small. It's just us...Astrid and Mikey, our parents...I'm not sure if you guys are coming..." I looked up at him, then back at the DVDs, "He didn't say."

"Well, the pansy didn't invite us." Frank chuckled, "It's okay, though. We know why, so we don't really care."

"If it were a big event, I'd invite you guys, but it's all up to Gerard."

"How come you get no say?" Frank leaned in, pulling the DVDs from my hand.

"Well, Gerard didn't want to do this and I told him whatever he wanted as long as he went with it." I explained our deal.

"Oh..."

I sighed, "I'm regretting this so much. He's such an asshole to me; his mood is easily filled and it pisses me off and it scares me." 

"What happen last night?" 

I looked up him finally, "I said something I shouldn't have...I thought he was okay by it, or that he liked it, y'know, but he must've freaked out."

Frank raised his brow, "What'd you say?"

I coursed my hair, "I told him I loved him."

Frank's brows jump, "Why?"

"It just came out!" I exclaimed, "We were fucking, and then I just said it...but he kept telling me to say it, and I thought he was okay, but then...he changed."

Frank tweaked his lips, "Shit, I'm sorry bout that. Gerard is very sensitive about the "L" word."

"Pansy ass was loving it last night." I spat.

"Passion...it over rode him."

I rolled my eyes, "Passion my ass. He wants to be a dick and ignore me, then fuck him. I can't deal with his temper tantrums anymore; once this whole this is over, I never want to see Gerard Way ever again." 

Frank gave me a sad glare, "C'mon, Gee is one of my closest friends. He isn't that bad..."

"Have you see the way he's treated me? Hell, what does he say when I'm not around? You remember how he demanded -ordered- that I was off limits."

Frank nodded, "I think he's in love with you...he's afraid of his feelings. He's been hurt before, Storm."

"I've been hurt too, but I don't automatically assume the worse of people."

"What if I talk to him?" Frank suggested.

"Be my guest...it's all just gonna fall on deaf ears, Frankie."

He shook his head, "He'll listen to me."

"I hope so."

After getting some b-rated horror movies, we returned to the bus. Ray and Bob and Gerard were there, though they weren't alone. Gerard had a cute little red head on his lap, giggling away with her. I rolled my eyes and went off to my bunk for my sketch book. Whenever I got angry, I felt the need to draw or construct something; my impulse was on high and my anxiety was being pushed.

I sat outside, though, beside the bus, drawing. It was too stuffy inside, and I wanted to be alone; really I wasn't with all the other bands acting off outside a few feet from me. It was easy to get lost, I must say, even with all the noise.

"Hey, need company?" a shadow came over my drawing pad, I looked up and saw Mikey.

"Hey Mikey. Um...I guess."

Mikey sat beside me, "Frank told me what happened."

I sighed, "Well, hell, I should've put it on a bulletin, right?"

"He wants to talk to Gee, he was just asking me for advice."

I shook my head, "This doesn't concern you guys. It's between Gerard and I, and I don't see why it's such a big deal. I said something stupid during sex that I shouldn't have."

"Those three words scare him, Stormy, you gotta know."

I exasperated, "Mikey, I didn't mean them! I just said them!" 

We were quiet now, the bus shifted slightly, but I didn't bother to look. I went back to shading whatever the hell I was drawing. Mikey kept looking over my head, almost as if he wanted me to look over. When I finally did, I saw Gerard and his new chew toy; I rolled my eyes as they kissed...gross.

"Sweet." I muttered sarcastically and stood, "I'm gonna get back on the bus," I looked at Mikey, "I'm gonna find some really good pills to knock me out. Maybe put me out for about 190 hours or so."

Mikey raised his brow, confused by my ranting, "What?"

"190 hours is about 8 days. That's how long I have left here and I'm fuckin' countin' them down." I turned; Gerard and his toy were gone, and I rushed back onto the bus.

I nearly ran into Gerard, who was standing by the goddamn door. I pushed past him and up to the lounge; "The fuck is your problem bitch?"

I was so mad, so tired of his shit, I turned and slapped him as hard as I could. "You don't ever call me that." my voice was angry, low, it scared me.

"Or what?" He came closer to me.

"I'll fucking kick your ass!" I snapped at him.

My patience was running low. My energy and anxiety were high. I was so goddamn pissed.

Gerard gave a dry laugh, "Love to see you try."

"Surprise you love anything, fucking pussy." I turned away from him, and that's when he pushed me.

Yes, that asshole pushed me.

I fell forward and hit my head on the edge of the counter. I knew I bumped it, scraped it up back, because I felt something warm rush down my cheek.

"Ow." I mumbled, sitting up on my knees.

There was nothing but silence. I put a hand on the new addition to my head and checked for blood. Yeah, there was a lot of it. My hand shook when I saw it; I'm not too keen on blood, but I was awfully calm.

"What the fuck?" I heard Mikey say; he was behind me, "Gee, what did you do?"

Gerard didn't say anything, and I could see him. I stood up shakily, still looking at the blood on my finger tips. I slowly turned to Mikey, he gasped and hissed, "Holy crap."

"Ow." I said again; my head began to throb.

"Stormy, are you okay?" Mikey took hold my arms, he looked me over.

"Sure...I guess...maybe." I wasn't making much sense. 

I was in shock again.

"Shit, what happened?" 

"I pushed her." Gerard finally spoke; his voice was even and angry.

"Are you fuckin' crazy?! Why did you push her?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it, "Because he's a little bitch." I spat. I pulled away from Mikey and went to the cabinet in the kitchen.

"That's why I pushed her!" Gerard yelled.

I ignored him, but Mikey started to yell too as I grabbed the first aid kit. I went to the bathroom, opened the kit and began to clean my wound up. I had a deep gash, and it was bleeding heavily; I was a little scared, but I've dealt with worse. Astrid stabbed herself with manicure scissors once. That was bloodier than this.

"Let me help you," Mikey came in to the bathroom.

"I can do it," my voice was light and airy, "I just...I'm okay."

"No you aren't," Gerard came over next, "Let Mikey help you."

"Fuck you." I muttered just as airily.

"Stormy, c'mon...I can help, you're shaking." Mikey sat me on te toilet seat and I sighed.

Mikey cleaned up my face, dapping and sighing every so often. He hissed again, "I think you need stitches...like two."

I shook my head, "I'm fine, just bandage it up."

Mikey gave me a look, "You need a hospital."

"No, I don't. Bandage me up, Nurse Way."

He gave a soft chuckle, "You need a real nurse."

"Mikey, please, just ban--"

I was cut off by Gerard pushing past Mikey and grabbed my wrist. He pulled me out of the bathroom, pulling a towel and giving it to me, "Hospital now." He muttered.

"No! If I go, I'm not going with you!"

Gerard groaned, he put his hands under my arms and practically threw me onto his shoulder and bounced off the bus. I hit him in his back as he started walking.

"I'm getting dizzy, you motherfucker!" 

"Shut your fucking mouth." He spat back, "Worm, I need the van."

"Oh...uh, okay, here." I didn't see the interaction.

I was then almost thrown into the front seat of the van, Gerard threw the towel at me and I pressed it to my wound. He jogged over to the driver side and got in.

The asshole.