Arrangements

"You really need to give me a memo of all the things you plan to do to me." I muttered once we pulled up at the hospital.

"What?" Gerard didn't seem to be calm; he was pissed.

"I need to know when exactly you plan to abuse me. This isn't fun just guessing!"

He glared at me, teeth almost baring, "Shut the fuck up."

"Y'know what, just leave me here. I'll send for my things, I need to get away from you. This isn't what I wanted and sure as hell don't need." I opened the van door, but he stopped me.

"Don't...you're staying."

"The hell I am!" I yank my arm from him, "You pushed me. Even Toby didn't push me, his words were hurtful enough."

"I told you how this was going to be." 

I sat back and slammed the door closed, "No you didn't! I wasn't aware that I would be verbally and physically abused by someone who should be my friend!"

"I told you I couldn't love you!"

"I didn't know you had to push me around to make your fuckin' point!"

He was quiet, and so was I. I was so mad, I just didn't have the energy to make sense or words. Somehow, I did.

"You hurt me a lot, Gerard. I never knew I could actually hate and like someone as much as I do you."

Gerard didn't say anything, he just looked away. I opened the van door and stepped out. I went into the ER, not bothering to wait for Gerard, and signed in. 

It was hard juggling the towel and writing my information down. Then someone took the clip board from me. "Get away." I muttered.

"I'm helping." He muttered too.

"I don't need your help. Get away from me."

"Stormy, just shut up." He sat beside me, coursing his dark hair back, he looked over the clip board.

"Can I just ask what I did wrong?" I finally asked.

"It was me. Not you." He scribbled something, "Putting my insurance down. Rarely gets used."

"Fine. But what do you mean it's you? I said those words, you didn't."

He sighed, "Stormy, I can't say those words to you, because I won't mean them."

"I wasn't expecting you to say them! Is that what you think I wanted?"

He gave a slow nod, "Yeah."

"I don't care...okay? I didn't mean those words..." I semi lied.

"I heard you with Mikey, that's why I pushed you."

I frowned, "What?"

"When you said you didn't even mean them...my ex said the same thing to me, and it fucked me up."

I looked down, "He said that to me too. But...Gerard, I only said that because I was mad...I do...sorta mean them."

Gerard's shoulder's tensed, I could feel his body grow rigid. "I don't deserve love."

I looked at him, "Gee, everyone deserves love, especially fuck ups like you or me."

He shook his head, "I'm not good enough."

I furrowed my brows, "Who says?"

He just shook his head, "Forget it. And I'm sorry I did all this. I'm sorry I pushed you, and hurt you. And I'm sorry I broke your rules."

I didn't say anything, I pressed the towel to my head and then looked at it. The blood was still oozing, and it was scaring me. 

Gerard came back from placing my info to the nurse; "Gerard, I'm scared." I murmured lowly.

"Scared of what?" he scooted closer to me.

"I don't like needles...the blood is making me queasy." 

Gerard frowned, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, "You're fine as long as I'm here."

I could smell him now...cigarettes and his skin. That heavy, man smell that is the Way males. Gerard smells more manly than Mikey...Mikey is sweeter. I loved this scent. I could bathe in it. 

"Stormy Way!" a nursed called.

I looked up at Gerard with a sour look. His crooked smile just won me over and I rolled my eyes. He followed me to the room, and I sat on the bed.

"Stitches?" The nurse looked over my wound, "Ooh, yes, you need three, hun."

"Mikey is pretty smart." I mumbled.

As she got out the needles and surgical thread, I grew frightful. I saw Gerard come and sit closer to me just as she moved in to my face. He took hold of my hand, kissing it and telling me it was okay. 

I held my breath as the nurse began and then I exhaled when she finished. She cleaned me up and bandaged my head; "All done."

"Thanks." I gave her a nice smile, but it was forced.

"You be careful now, hun."

"I'll try." I waved to her as we began to leave.

In the van, Gerard stalled before he started it. He looked at me; "I'm so sorry, Stormy."

"I accept your apology, Gee." I murmured.

"I'm sorry you're marrying me."

I could see how terrible he felt, and looked. I swallowed thickly, "I'm sorry you're marrying me. I know I'm not everything you'd wish for--"

He shook his head, "You're more than I want...more than I could possibly wish for. I really...can't believe you're still willing you do this with me. You are one patient person to deal with me."

I smirked, "I have to."

"You don't have to, and that's what I like most about you. You love your dad, you would go through hell for him."

I nodded, looking down, "Anything for my family and friends."

"Fuck, even me. You took care of me, you're there for me, even when I'm a total dick."

"I always want to see the good in others." I told him.

"I know you do. I wish I could be like that."

"Do you trust me?"

He nodded, "More than my mind wants me too."

I frowned, "Oh."

"In my heart I know you're good. I trust you..." he wanted to say more, but he stopped, "We should go."

"Yeah." I mumbled after.

-

No one spoke of the incident when we came back, but Frank have Gerard a deathly glare. I just patted Frank's cheek and told him I was fine. 

"Can I take the stitches out when it's time?" He asked with that excited grin.

"I guess." I shrugged with a smile, "As long as no needles are involved."

"I'll be careful."

Frank is like a child, I swear.

Later that night, everyone huddled around and watched Donnie Darko. It was kind of a chill night; no one bothered any other, and we were pretty quiet. Near the end of the night, Gerard, who had been sitting across from Frank and I, tapped me.

"C'mere." He whispered.

I moved Frank, who was deep into the movie, and followed Gerard. He was in his pajamas, Ghostbusters I might add -I want them-, and I was in mine, just sweats and a white v-neck. He stopped at his bunk and got in, "C'mon."

I shook my head and climbed in. He leaned against the wall and pulled me close to him. He kissed my bandage and wrapped his arms around me.

"Frank says he's gonna kick my ass if I do anything." Gerard murmured.

"I don't expect he'll do anything." I countered with a small laugh.

"Me either." 

We were so close together, I wanted more once my body was up against his. I was seriously going through major mood swings. One hour I hate him, the next I want to fuck his brains out.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I pressed my lips to his, and kissed him hungrily. He kissed back, moaning slightly and pulled me closer to him; if that were possible. Our needs were closer, he was hard and I moaned this time.

"We can't." Gerard broke our kiss, "Not in here."

"Where?" I asked breathlessly.

"Back lounge."

And almost like a reflex, I was captured by Gerard.