Arrangements

I got into the house and saw him there, with a pretty little brunette straddling his waist. I could hear them kissing and it made me sick to my stomach. I stood by the door, my charcoal grey heels clicked, as I waited for them to notice me.

The brunette noticed me first and let out a scream. She was half nude, she covered herself, and Gerard groaned and looked away.

"Who are you?!" She yelped at me, really, she looked frightened.

"This jackass' wife. Who are you?" I crossed my arms.

"I'm...I'm..." she stammered as she got off of Gerard, "I'm gonna go." She grabbed her clothes and quickly dressed and left my home.

Gerard sat on the couch, stone faced, while I stared at him. I shook my head, and left him there. I went to the bedroom, relaying all that I had witness in my living room. It hit me in the gut, as soon as I went to my dresser and tears slipped out the corner of my eyes.

"Stormy," Gerard called out to me, "Stormy, I can explain." He entered the room.

I pulled open the third drawer to get my pajamas, "I bet you can, but I don't want to hear it."

Gerard didn't say anything as I crossed the room, setting my clothes on the bed and began to undress and get into my pjs. He stood awkwardly at the threshold, I didn't attempt to motion for him to stay or leave. He could fuck off for all I cared.

"I was at a meeting," he began, "Brian told me to meet him at some bar...I saw this girl, she was crying and she needed someone to talk to..." I tuned him out as he went on. 

I went into the bathroom, completely ignoring him, and turned on the sink. I wanted to wash the tears and make up off my face. I felt so oddly embarrassed and I couldn't wait to crawl into my bed and fall asleep.

"Stormy, are you even listening to me?" Gerard stood by the opening of the door.

"No." I answered him, "I'm taking this crap off."

He sighed, "I'm sorry, baby."

"I don't care. I mean, sorry makes up for me feeling like a complete fool tonight." I grabbed my make up wipes, closed my eyes and scrubbed the make up off slowly and carefully.

"I didn't mean to make you feel like that...I just...I had a few, y'know--"

"I know. I can smell it on you." I rinsed my face and tossed make up wipes out.

"I got you something, though," he said quietly when I turned to him, "it was why I went to see Brian."

"I don't want anything from you." I walked past him, into our room. I could smell that girl's perfume on him, and the light scent of booze.

"Please, I got it for you. I know I messed up, but I was drinking."

I didn't give him a second thought as I climbed into bed, grabbed my phone and placed it on it's charger. He sat at my feet and dug into his pocket and pulled out a blue box.

"Tiffany's." I mumbled.

"Yeah...I don't know shit about that place, and I had Brian--"

"I don't want jewelry. Can't you understand that? Why don't men see that?" I spoke quickly, "I wanted you, not a necklace or a bracelet or whatever the hell is in that box."

His features turned down, "Oh..."

I shook my head, "Gerard, go clean yourself up." I rolled over in bed and pulled a pillow to myself, conflicted as to all that had happened.

My husband was kissing another woman he found at a bar. Where, he was meeting his manager to get a piece of jewelry he picked out for me. He's drunk and wallowing for forgiveness. 

"Storm, are you mad at me?" He spoke child-like.

"I don't know," I grabbed my pillow tighter, "yes."

"Because I wasn't there." He mumbled.

"Go clean yourself up." I ordered him again.

Gerard got off the bed and walked to the adjourning bathroom and closed the door. I sighed softly and began to cry when I heard the shower running. 

I don't know, fully why I was crying, other than that Gerard had cheated on me. He was with her when he should have been with me. I really had wanted him by my side tonight, but he was out...doing the weirdest things. It all came back to me as to why he was cheating when he claimed to love me so much. Was it the alcohol, truly, or was I not good enough for him lately?

My ex cheated on me because I wasn't good enough for him. Was I not good enough for Gerard? Was I just remotely pretty enough to be with? That girl, who was here, she was really pretty, almost model like, and I felt insecure beside her. I never felt so insecure in my own home before.

I was sniffling when Gerard finally emerged from the bathroom. He had a towel around his waist and was shaking his hair out. He crossed the room, to the top dresser drawer and grabbed some boxers. I heard him dress quickly, then come over to my side of the bed. He leaned over, kneeling on the empty spot behind me and kissed my cheek.

"Don't cry," he murmured, "I didn't mean to make you cry."

I struggled to keep my tears in when he said those words. I kept myself away from him, but he gripped my shoulder and made me face him.

"I'm sorry, please don't ignore me." He said evenly, even though I could tell he was bordering on angry.

I stared at him with wet eyes, "I just can't...understand how you could--"

"I was drunk." He excused heavily.

"Yeah," I sighed, "I heard you."

"It was just this one time."

I nodded, "Alright, then don't beat yourself up." I turned away and grabbed my pillow.

Gerard crawled over me and under the covers. He grabbed hold of my hips, pulling me towards him and kissed my forehead. I felt him skim his fingers around my hips and I slapped his hand away.

"I'm not in the mood." I murmured sadly.

Gerard took the hint, leaving his hand on my bare hip, but not moving it any lower or high. He kissed my head once more, and sighed contently.


I went to Astrid's and Frank's the next morning, without waking Gerard. I had walked there, the few blocks, just as it started to rain. Astrid chewed me out as soon as she saw me on the porch.

"Stormy, are you fucking mental?" She pulled me in, "Look at your jacket! Look at your hair! Why didn't you wear a hoodie?"

I shrugged, shaking my hair out, "I needed to leave."

She gave me a look as she pulled my leather jacket from my shoulders, "Why? What did he do now?"

"He bought me jewelry." I told her lamely.

"What?" She raised her brow, placing my jacket on the rack, "Follow me, I'll do your hair and get you a warm hoodie."

Astrid sat me on the bed, the heater kicked on and warmed my wet skin. I smiled to myself, Astrid brought out her bright pink hair dryer and plugged it in, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Am I pretty?" I asked her honestly, "Like...like for anyone?"

Astrid furrowed her brows, "Jesus, not again."

I looked down, feeling like such a teenage girl with no self-esteem. She stood in front of me and turned the hair dryer on and shook my wet locks until I was warm and told her to stop. She set it down on her vanity and grabbed some bobby pins and a hair clip.

"What happened?" She asked, pinching her lips closed to hold the bobby pins.

"Why? I asked you a question first."

She sighed, "Stormy, you are beautiful. You have those classic, Marilyn Monroe...50's features." she said with a small smile, "Bridget Bardot is who you kinda look like."

"So I am pretty?"

"You're beautiful, asshole." She tapped me playfully.

"Really?"

She nodded, "Yes. Now, why are you asking?"

"I don't feel good enough for Gerard."

She raised her brow when I looked up at her, "Gerard isn't so damn pretty himself."

"I'm serious."

"I know, but this is the same shit you went through with what's-his-face. You don't need to go through this again."

I gave a short nod as Astrid continued to fiddle with my hair. Once she was finished, she went to her closet and tossed me an old CBGB pull over. I put it on, "Let's go eat. Frank is probably going to come home soon and I know he'll be starved."

Frank walked in just as we entered the kitchen. He had groceries, he smiled at me, "Sup, Storm. I had a feeling you'd be here."

He put the groceries on the counter and we helped him put them away, "A feeling? Did Gerard call you?"

He gave me a sheepish grin, "Maybe."

"What'd that jerk off say?" Astrid asked.

I sighed, "Trid." I warned her.

"What? He makes you feel like crap and I can't call him a jerk off?"

I shook my head, "Leave it alone." I turned to Frank, "What'd he say?"

"He just wanted to know if you were here and I just guessed you were, since he said your mom said you weren't over there."

"I miss LA. I had a lot of other places to hide."

"What'd he do now?" Frank poked my shoulder.

"Nothing. I just got a little mad about him not showing up last night," I told them lamely.

Frank tugged at his lip, "I think he's gonna come over soon. I told him I was shopping and I didn't know if you were here or not."

I rubbed my neck, "I should just head back then..."

Astrid shook her head, "No! Stay with me, please?"

I couldn't resist my little sister's pleas. Astrid gave me those puppy dog eyes and I bent for her. "Alright, I'll stay."

So, I stayed and ate lunch with Frank and Astrid. Astrid kept trying to get me to say more about what Gerard and I had our small fight about. She was always worried about my self-esteem, and didn't want me to end up where I was 2 years previous. I loved her care and concern, but sometimes it was almost too much. I wish she didn't baby me like she was the older one...but, I'm glad she did, because I would've gone to pieces by now.

I'm lucky to have a sibling such as her.