Arrangements

After the funeral, everyone went to the burial, where we buried my mother next to my father. All I thought about was the disappointment I felt and the need to talk to my father. My father knew exactly what to say in a situation like this. In a way, he was my mother, he always helped with relationships.

I was close to both my parents, even if things were slightly awkward with my father, he was the one I always went to. Astrid was close with both, but she favored mother more, and I favored my father. I would give anything to have another day with the both of them, to cry and hug.

After the burial, Astrid and I were invited to the church to eat and meet everyone. I told Mrs. Way that it was alright, that Astrid and I would go alone. Throughout the whole procession, Mrs. Way was great and caring and took care of us, and Gerard had been quiet, as well as Frank, but Frank was holding and hugging Astrid. Gerard had stood awkwardly beside me, despondent because he was thinking about what I had said. I think he thought I was mad, but I wasn't.

Before we left, he was ready to take off without saying a word to me, but I grabbed him. I grabbed his arm. I cupped his face, kissing his lips quickly, "I'm not mad." I said before I quickly left, too.


At the church, Astrid and I thanked everyone, and ate while they told us some nice memories of my mother. It was a somber evening, and they surprisingly took well to us, despite the fact that Astrid and I didn't practice their religion anymore. I think it was because they liked my mother so much.

When we got back to Gerard's parents, it was quiet and dimly lit. I went into the kitchen, while Astrid went to the couch and found Frank with Mikey and Allie. I saw that Mrs. Way was cleaning up, looking very tired.

"Hello, Mrs. Way," I greeted her softly, "where's Gee?"

She shook her head, not returning a smile, "I don't know what I'm gonna do with that boy." She shook her blond hair again, giving a frustrated look and shake.

"What's wrong? Where is he?"

She glanced at me, "He went out for a drink," she told me expectantly, "he just leaves. I yelled at him for the way he was acting at the cemetery."

"How was he acting?" I asked confusingly; I had been so wrapped up in my head, I barely noticed Gerard's actions, other than him being silent.

"He didn't hug you or anything!" She said, "He was acting like a jerk."

I smiled a bit, because Mrs. Way reminded me a lot like Astrid, "Mrs. Way, it's quite alright. He's a little upset with me."

She furrowed her brows, "Stormy, I don't get you some times."

I raised my brow, feeling self concious, "How come?"

"You're so numb to the way my son acts. It's just...weird to see, you know what I mean?" Donna Way twist her lips just like her son when he says that exact same phrase.

"Barely." I answered.

"It's like, you let him get away with so much without reprimand."

"He's a grown man, and I rather not deal with his wrath."

She narrowed her eyes, "Has he hit you?" I shook my head quickly, "The yelling?"

"Yes. Gerard hates being backed into a corner, and when he is, he just barks down at me. He can say some pretty hurtful things."

She sighed, "You need to be more stern with him...almost as if he's Sylvester over there," She pointed across the room at my doggy who was lying on his belly on the floor, looking over at us because of the mention of his name, "You need to hold the reigns."

"I don't...I don't want him to hate me." I looked down at the tiled counter top.

"Gerard won't hate you. I was more than stern with that boy, especially when he was a teenager--"

I cut her off, "That's because you're his mother."

"You're his wife. And, the way he talks about you, Stormy, he loves you to death. He wouldn't leave you just because you give him some rules."

I sighed, "I get it."

"Honey, don't let some fickle words hurt you. You've been through a lot worse than anything Gerard can say to you, and if it does hurt your feelings, you tell his ass straight out that you don't like his talk."

I smiled, "Thank you. I will."

She crossed over the counter and brought me into a warm hug.


I thought about what Mrs. Way had said while I went down to Gerard's room to change. I hung my dress up and crossed over to the heat to turn it up. I rubbed my arms to warm up, while Sylvester waddled around the floor, taking a stop next to the heater. I left my spaghetti strap and tights on as I jogged around to keep warm. I finally went to the dresser and got some pajamas.

I was near dressed when the basement door opened and heavy steps descended the stairs. The foot steps belong to Gerard, and he was drunk. I could smell it on him from the corner of the room.

"Fuck." He slurred, "It's cold."

I looked back at him, shaking my head, "Where were you?"

He leaned against the wall, beside his TV, and groaned, "Out."

I didn't say anything, I grabbed my old Thor t-shirt and black,fleece pajama bottoms. I slipped some socks on and went over to Gerard; really wish I hadn't.

He smelled like booze...and women. I shut my eyes, then opened them, and caught the dark burgundy hickey on his neck. I sucked my teeth and turned away from him.

"Where are--"

"I'm going to go to sleep on the couch. You need to learn how to clean yourself up." I didn't look at him, I called to Sylvester and helped him get up the stairs with me.

He didn't follow me or even stop me or even say my name. I close the door and went to the living room, where Mikey and Allie were preparing to leave. I hugged them, then went on into the living room, plopped on the couch with my dog and turned on the TV.

"Hey, Stormy," Astrid came in a second later, "Me and Frankie are leaving." She rounded the couch and pulled me into a hug, "I have a doctors appointment in the morning."

I smiled, "Oh, I want to see the ultrasound pictures when you're finished."

"I'll be over."

I stood up and hugged Frankie, "I'll see you guys."

They said their goodbyes and left. I went off to the hall closet and grabbed a quilt and laid back on the couch, flipping the channels. I curled up, my dog nudging his body close, behind me, getting warm. A few minutes of getting comfortable, Mrs. Way came in, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you."

"Gerard came in...you two have some words?"

I shook my head, "He didn't say anything. He's too drunk to even look at me straight."

She sucked her teeth, too, "He'll learn, Stormy."

"I'm not holding my breath." I told her tiredly.

She gave me a weak smile, "I'm sorry, honey."

"Me too."

She came over, hugging me again, "Sleep tight, I'll make breakfast in the morning."

I smiled at her and nodded before watching her walk up the stairs to her bedroom. I snuggled up in my quilt and watched a rerun of Elf.

Sleep came quicker than I anticipated, and I was awaken when the sun was barely coming up. It was Gerard who was shaking me awake.

"Ugh, no." I groaned, "I'm sleepy."

Gerard made a noise, "I'm too hung over to carry you downstairs."

"Tough tits. I'm staying here." I rolled over, right into Sylvester's face.

"Get your ass up, Storm." He growled at me.

"Fuck off."

There was a minute of silence, then I felt him lay on the couch behind me. He smelled of soap, he wrapped his arms around me, kissed my neck, "I fucked up. I missed you in the bed."

"Please, Gerard--"

"Stormy, I'm sorry--"

"I think..." I turned to face him, "Maybe we need some time apart." -This suggestion just came to my mind. 

Gerard sat up, "What?"

I sat up too, rubbing my eyes, "Maybe we need to spend some time apart. I'm not...I'm not feeling too good and with my mother passing, I don't want to hurt anymore."

I didn't dare face him, "You're leaving me." He stated angrily.

"I'm not leaving you," I looked at him, his jaw was set, "we need to take a breather...a small break."

"For how long?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. I can stay with Astrid--"

"This is fucking great--"

"Gerard, please, try and understand--"

He shook his head, "Fuck this." He stood up and turned from me, he started to walk off.

I grabbed a pillow and threw it at him, "You cheated on me!" I finally snapped, "How could you be so damn heartless?!"

He didn't turn, or stop, he walked down towards the basement, and I felt tears swell, I grabbed the blanket and pulled it over myself and started to cry. I just cried, that's what I needed to do, and it made me feel better.