Arrangements

Three days passed by me in a silent blur. I lived like I didn't care, because I was pissed off. Sure, what Gerard had said played in my mind everyday, and to be honest, I was completely done with his attitude. This was the last time, and I wasn't going to waste my time with him anymore. I had gone home, the day after he called me, and signed those fucking papers.

Astrid hates my reckless and sarcastic attitude because I wouldn't tell her what was wrong. She hated how I was acting, she even called Frank and told him to tell Gerard to call me and tell me snap out of whatever was bothering me. Of course, Gerard never called me, and Frank never told Astrid that.

On my third day of being a total asshole, Astrid's water broke. It was the middle of the afternoon and I had been cooking. I had to turn everything off, call Frank and then drive her to the hospital. It all came so fast, it almost snapped me out of my mood. Almost.

She was in labor for 26 hours, while I chewed my thumbnail off and paced the room. I was nervous and jealous and I was tired. I had made a lot of decisions in the past couple of days that I wasn't ready to lay on my sister just yet. I knew she was going to be pissed when I told her. I didn't want to be the one to tell her.

My nephew was born on April 6th, and Frank had gotten there just in time. I was still there, too, filming it, for Frank, as Astrid pushed the little monster out. He wailed so loud, I knew he belonged to them. He had only a little bit of black hair, and he got Frank's eyes, and Astrid's cheeks. Despite how big Astrid got, Danny was a teeny thing.

"He's adorable," Frank's mother, Linda, held him as I looked over, "he looks just like Frank when he was a baby."

She and Astrid gushed over the baby, and I handed Frank the camera. He hadn't said anything to me during the birth, he looked a little sad when he finally looked at me. "Congrats," I told him, "he's a cutie."

"Thanks." Frank smiled, "Stormy, um...Gee--"

I stopped him, "I'm gonna go home and shower and eat. I have a lot of stuff to do, and I better get going." I told him quickly and sternly.

He frowned, "You shouldn't leave--"

"I have to. I have a meeting tomorrow and I leave at the end of the week for LA."

"You're going to LA?" Astrid butted in tiredly.

"Yeah, I have to meet Dave and James...and Alex."

She sighed, "But, I just had Danny, you can't leave."

"I'm sorry sis, I wish I could stay. I have deadlines." I lied. I lied because I needed and wanted to get away.

Astrid just shook her head and turned her attention back to the baby. Frank looked at me with concern, and I gave him a quick hug. I left just as quick, not bothering to say goodbye.


My plan was to go back to LA. I was going back to where my friends were and where I felt comfortable. I had work there, I liked it there, and it was away from Jersey. If I had a choice I'd never come back. To be honest, it's what I planned to do.

Sneakily.

I love my sister, but right now, I didn't want to be there. I love my nephew even more so, but I had to get away.

I had gotten home and saw Gerard watching TV on the couch. He looked over at me, almost relieved. He stood up, "Stormy, how's your sister? She had the baby?"

I furrowed my brows, "Yeah, she did." I turned my heel and went down to the bedroom to get some clothes.

"Oh...um, it's a boy, right?" He followed after me.

"Yeah, he's cute, he looks just like Frank." I went to the dresser and opened it, then I went to my closet to get my suitcase.

"What're you doing?" He watched me from the bed.

"I have to leave for LA in a couple of days. I'm getting a head start. Most of my shit is at Astrid's." I spoke without emotion, I was just going through them.

"Stormy, we need to talk about--"

I stopped him, "No, no we don't. I understand fully what you want to talk about and I don't want to." I faced him, settling my bag on the bed, "You want to apologize for getting high and tell me you didn't mean it. You want to tell me that this Liz person doesn't mean shit to you, and that you love me. I know what you're going to say, Gerard, because I know you better than you know yourself." I turned towards the dresser and got a couple of my jeans and dresses.

"I was out of my head." He murmured.

"You say so, but I think you were just speaking the truth. Remember: Drunken minds speak sober thoughts."

He sighed, "I was overwhelmed. Liz came out and was telling me all--"

I stopped him, "And you still care about what other's think of you. So, y'know what, I won't waste your time anymore," I put my clothes in the bag, "I signed those papers for you, you don't have to worry about me anymore."

He frowned and stood up, "You did what?"

"I signed the annulment papers; it'll be like we never even gotten married. I already petition the court to have my name changed back; it'll be like we were never even together."

He stared at me as I zipped up my suitcase and picked it up to carry. I walked away from the bed, but Gerard grabbed me, "Why are you doing this?" He growled at me.

"Because I'm tired of waiting for you!" I felt the anger I had been holding back boil over, "I have needs too, and I know I am not being selfish! I've given my all to you, and I barely get anything in return, and I'm really sick of waiting." I was starting to cry now, and I cursed myself, "I'm going back to LA where I feel at home. Where I know I can constantly be happy, where my work is."

Gerard stared at me, "I'm not letting you go."

I yanked my arm from him, nearly laughing in his face, "I'm already gone." 

I started to leave, but Gerard grabbed my arm, "Let me explain!"

"No!"

He forced my against the wall, causing me to drop my bag, "Goddammit, Stormy, let me talk to you!" He looked so frustrated and I suddenly stopped my attitude, in my head, "Why won't you let me explain?"

"Because you don't deserve one! You didn't call, you just left me to assume--"

"I was getting my shit together! Do you know how bad I felt about telling you that shit? I felt like a fucking dick, and I was trying to think of a way to show you how much I do love you and that I'm ready." He let me go and stepped back, "I'm fucking scared, too, alright. I'm ready, but I'm scared."

I soon felt sick with regret. I felt like I had jumped the gun.

"I'm sorry, Gerard." I mumbled softly, "I didn't know."

He coursed his hair, "If I was my old self, I would have let you walk out that door...I can't let you. I won't let you leave me."

I really didn't know how to respond. My emotions had done a total 180.

"Don't leave me, Stormy." Gerard took my hands in his, "Stay with me."

I nodded, not wanting to open my mouth anymore. I didn't want to fuck up, anymore, and I just wanted Gerard. He had been watching my face, picking up, almost telepathically, on my want. He took me over to the bed, sat me down and pulled my t-shirt over my head, and pulled my jeans off, along with my flats. He got undressed too, except, we were only in our underwear. 

He knelt beside me, wrapping his arms around my body and kissing at my exposed skin, until I fell back on the bed. Gerard hovered over me, his hands slid underneath my jaw and he stalled, he looked at me; "Are you okay, Sugar?" he whispered close to my lips.

I nodded again, "I don't want to have sex right now. I just...I want you to hold me."

He kissed my lips, taking in a slow, steady breath and rolled over, pulling me on top of him. I rolled my fingers in his messy hair and kissed him again. I brought my hand to his face, stroking his cheek and pressing my thumb to his bottom lip. I smiled to myself, out of the growing love and happiness I felt for Gerard. I was happy he was forceful with me; if he hadn't I would be hating myself at my sister's house.