Arrangements

I should have stopped myself, but I couldn't. I just wanted him, like I hadn't wanted anyone in the longest. Even the way I thought about Gerard was hazy. 

When Alex touched me, I had to pull back. I couldn't. I couldn't sleep with him. 

"Alex, I can't do this." I muttered, "I'm married."

He gave me a hard look, "You're married to a complete asshole."

I frowned, "Just because you--"

"No, listen to me Stormy," He grabbed my exposed shoulders, "I've heard and seen the way he is on tour. We know the same people, you don't think I've heard about Gerard Way's drunken escapades?"

My hear thumped in my chest, "What?"

"That's why I was surprised when I really met you, because I never believed a woman, such as yourself, would go for a guy like him. He's disrespectful and only cares about getting a fix of something."

My chest hurt, "Gee isn't...like that anymore." I whispered aloud, but it was mostly to myself.

"I'm sorry if I'm too forward, but you are too extraordinary to pass up on."

I looked at him with doubt, "What do you...what have you seen him do?"

Alex stepped back, buttoning his shirt up, "A lot."

"Like what? Tell me, you brought it up." I grabbed my t-shirt and slipped it back on.

"The drinking and the little groupies...I'm sorry, I shouldn't be saying any of this to you." He combed his hair back with his hand and looked away.

"You believe you and I would make a much better couple." I muttered, "Why? Just because we have similar interest?"

"No, because I would treat you better than he does," he turned to me slowly, "I wouldn't have a drink if you didn't want me to. I would only make you happy."

I must've looked pitiful, because I felt it. I felt like I was torn and beaten to pieces. I didn't know what to do.

"I wouldn't cheat on you." He added softly.

I looked at him, "I should go."

He sighed, "No, Stormy, please, don't leave. I didn't mean to put this all out--"

I stopped him, "Alex, I understand completely where you're coming from, but I got to go. I'll still come over tomorrow."

I walked out quickly; with my bag, and towards my rental car. I had held my breath as I slid into the driver side, not sure when I should start breathing again. My head hurt, as well as my chest, and all I wanted was to get some sleep.


At my suite, I changed my clothes and crawled into the bed. My head hurt still, and I wished Gerard was beside me. I grabbed my phone, out of frustration, and called him.

"Stormy?" He yawned.

"Hey, did I wake you up?" I asked quietly.

"No, I'm just tired. What's up?"

I rubbed my head, "I miss you."

"I miss you, too. What's up, though? You sound sad."

I shook my head, "I'm...I've been thinking too much, y'know. I just...I wish you were here."

"I'll be in LA in a couple weeks, for your exhibit. I want to be with you."

I exhaled heavily, "I love you, Gee."

"I love you, too, Stormy."


Since that night, I hadn't had the guts to tell anyone I kissed Alex. Even when I returned to finish the wall for him, I barely spoke. I hadn't spoken to Alex, exclusively, since that night. I think I felt guilt, and also, I didn't want to be alone with him. I didn't want anymore accidents happening.

Whenever I spoke to Gerard, it was always in the fore front of my mind. Nagging and telling me to expose myself. I didn't want Gerard to know I almost cheated in him, because I didn't do anything wrong. I kissed another guy, but it felt as if I had done the deed with him. I didn't know how Gerard would take it; I even contemplated telling Astrid, but I'm sure she would say that it wasn't a big deal.

I felt like it was a big deal. I had a feeling, Gerard would believe it was a big deal as well. I didn't want him to overreact and go crazy. So, when he would show up, I had to tell him. I needed to get it off my chest.


I was setting everything up in the gallery, when I felt arms snake around my waist. I was alarmed for a moment, until I smelt fresh cigarette smoke. I grinned and turned around; Gerard gave me that crooked grin.

"Baby," I murmured quietly, wrapping my arms around him, "ugh, I missed you."

He kissed my head, "I missed you, too." He let me go, "And, check it out, I got you flowers," he pointed to the desk where he had lain a bouquet of red roses.

"Oh, man," I kissed him, "I don't think I've ever gotten flowers before." I walked over and picked them up, "Gee, thank you."

He still had that grin when I turned and looked at him, "I figure you deserve them."

I felt guilty again, "Thank you, again."

"What do you have planned? Are you still setting up?" He looked around the half decorated gallery.

"Yeah, just a bit, but we can leave. Dave is in the back, ordering the champagne or whatever."

He smiled, "Good, because I really want to be alone with you."

"Let me go tell Dave."