Arrangements

For a week, until Astrid's birthday, we didn't talk about what she had confided in me about. She was unsure of her true feelings, and I was grateful for that. I couldn't bring up that whole situation either. It wasn't my business, nor was it my place. I could only hope that Astrid had changed her mind.

"Frank and the guys are coming home." Astrid told me as I made her coffee, "I don't want you to leave, but I'm sure you want to..."

I looked at her, "I don't want to leave you alone, and I'm warming up to Danny." I smiled.

She smiled back, "He loves you. You soothe him. You'll be a great mom, Stormy."

I shrugged, "I don't think I'll have a baby."

"Why not?"

"I thought about adopting after I divorce Gerard...y'know, do it on my own. I'm going to slow my work down after I finish the next book, and then start the whole adoption thing."

Astrid's lips turned down, "What about Alex?"

"He and I are just...having fun. I don't think things will get serious."

"And if they do?"

"Then they do." I shrugged again.

"I just want you to be happy, Stormy." She stressed quietly.

"I'm not sad, and I'm not happy...I'm just," I rubbed my neck, "I'm just me...you know me. I'm okay. I'm fine with the way things are."

"I don't believe you."

"I know you don't." I began to pour her coffee, "But, I'm telling the truth."

I didn't explain anymore to Astrid and she didn't pester me. We had a quiet lunch, I had helped take care of Danny. I had left later in the afternoon, when Frank had called Astrid, telling her that he'd be home soon. I went down to the book store and tried to lose myself.

Along the way of browsing for Ernest Hemingway, I got a call from Alex. I bit back a smile, my stomach tensed easily and I answered. 

"Hello," I sang happily.

"Hey, what're you doing?"

"I'm shopping."

"For what?"

"Books."

He scoffed jokingly, "As usual. What're you doing later? I'm in New York."

I squealed, "No way, really?"

"Yeah, you can come see me or I can come see you."

"I kind of want you to come here, I'm getting a room for the night."

He chuckled, "You planned ahead?"

"No, but my sister's husband is back, and you know that whole story."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll come see you. You have to be my date to this party tomorrow night." He sang back, and it made my stomach tense again.

"Of course."

"What time should I see you?"

"Uh...7. I'll be at the Raddison."

"Sweet," he and I both laughed, "I'll see you, babe."

"See you."


"I'm gonna get a room tonight," I told Astrid, "so don't worry about me."

She sighed, "Have breakfast with me?"

"Yes, I'll have breakfast with you." I giggled.

"Well, what're you doing for lunch?"

"I'm gonna go to New York..." I trailed softly, "There's a party that I was invited to."

"Ugh, no fair! I can't be alone with just Frank." she joked.

"Sorry, but I got invited." I shrugged; I heard a knock on the door.

"Ok, fine," she groaned, I stood, "I'll see you in the morning."

"I love you, Astrid," I opened the door and Alex with a little daisy in his hand.

"Love ya. 'Night."

"Goodnight." I hung up my phone and pulled Alex into the room.

Sex with Alex isn't like sex with Gerard. Gerard is rougher, and Alex is gentler. I loved Alex's gentle side; he felt my body up, getting every inch of me aroused. Sometimes, though, I wanted it rough, and I wished it was Gerard I was with. I would cursed myself after, having thought of his face while Alex gripped my skin, it wasn't what I wanted.

I dealt with it though. I liked gentle. He was a gentleman. 

In public, he liked to hold my hand, or wrap his arm around my shoulder. He always made sure I was taken care of first. It was refreshing, to say the least. 

It just bothered me that he wasn't Gerard. He wasn't that rough and bossy guy I had fallen for. I shouldn't be picky, at least I got someone who liked me, who wanted me, who accepted me. Even so, I was afraid to commit myself to Alex. I don't know why, but the thought of calling him my boyfriend frightened me a bit. 

I rationalized it all as it being; I didn't want Alex to be my boyfriend. I loved his company, I didn't want to be committed. It isn't fair, but so far, things hadn't been questioned.


"Will you meet me in New York for the party?" Alex leaned against my rental car, smirking at me.

"Where at, stud?" I jested with a grin.

"Meet me at the Keep Inn, and then we can head to the place."

"Alright, what time?"

"6-ish." He leaned down and kissed my forehead, "Wear something comfortable, but flattering."

I rolled my eyes, kissing his chin, "Will do."

"I can't wait."

"I'll see you."

"See you."

I pecked his lips and went on my way. I was actually very happy while I drove to Astrid's. I didn't think my mood could be brought down; even if I saw or heard Frank. 

So, when I pulled up, my mood was still good. I got out of my car and jogged up her porch. I knocked on the door, and a few seconds later, I saw an angry looking Astrid. 

I frowned slightly, "What's up?" I asked softly.

She shook her head, "Let's take Danny out, go to my car," she handed me her keys, without letting me in.

I sighed and went back down the porch and to her car, I got in and started it up. A few minutes later, Astrid put Danny in his car seat, he was wailing, but nearly stopped once he was in the warm car. Astrid hopped in the front seat and turned the radio on lowly.

"Go to the grocery store." She told me.

"What's going on?" I backed out of her drive way.

"Frank is mad because I asked him to change Danny for me." She spat angrily, "The bastard."

"What're we going to the grocery store for?"

"Pancake mix and stuff." She grumbled.

"But, you have that stuff--"

She stopped me, "We're gonna go to mama and papa's after."

I looked over at her, "No one is living there?"

She shook her head when I had looked over, "No. It's been empty for some time, and I don't want to be home with Frank."

"We need to talk about you and Frank,  Astrid. Do you guys need some alone time or something? I could watch Danny for you..."

She sighed, "I don't know...I don't know what's wrong with us. Maybe we do need some alone time. You wouldn't mind?"

I smiled, "No, I wouldn't. I love him."

"Maybe tomorrow night? Frank is going out tonight."

"Alright, I got a date with my nephew." I joked.

"I think this will do us some good, we never get to talk out our feelings, y'know? Danny is either crying or Frank doesn't want to talk." She sighed again, "Thanks, Stormy."

"No problem."