Arrangements

I opened the door, and I could hear him singing. I swallowed thickly and descended the stairs, his singing never stopped. Once I was at the bottom; I saw Gerard sitting at his desk, headphones on and drawing. I stood there for a moment, he was singing a song by the Cure, I wanted him to notice me. He finally did, he looked at me and stopped singing, taking his headphones off.

"Can I talk to you?" I started softly.

He shrugged, "Yeah."

"Gerard, I...I'm sorry for being--"

He put a hand up, "I get it."

I walked over to him, "I was feeling like I was dead." I mumbled, "I feel like I lost everything."

He stood, "I thought you didn't love me anymore."

"Of course I love you," I cried, "I just...I feel so alone. I have you, I have this baby, but I feel alone."

"Astrid did this." He set his jaw.

"I did it to myself. I relied on my sister, y'know. I always thought she would be there when I needed her." I sighed heavily and coursed my hair, "But...I was wrong. It fucking hurts that she went away, Gee. Can you imagine if Mikey just went away? Never came back at all?"

He nodded, "I'd fucking lose it."

"Exactly." I swallowed, "I'm not placing blame, I just needed to grieve. I feel like I lost everything."

Gerard closed the space between us and wrapped his arms around my waist, "I'll always be here for you, baby, whenever you need me."

I pressed my cheek against his chest, "I know you will."

"I'll never leave you." He ran his hands up my back and kissed the top of my head, "I promise."

Gerard and I went over to his bed and sat, at first, then we laid down. He laid behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, his palms holding onto my belly, and his lips pressed against the back of my neck. He held me close, telling me he loved me, and that he would take care of me, and truly, it was all I needed. I needed reassurance that I had a partner in this. A real companion who would be there for me at my worst.


Thanksgiving passed without any trouble, and the weeks went on. My mood was better, and Gerard was always there for me. Allie came around a lot more, especially when the weather was at it's worse. She and I had begun to clean up the nursery, and put everything together. Mikey and Gerard even painted the room; a beige color that was warm and inviting.

"You aren't going to find out what the baby is until they're born?" Allie had asked while we sorted through the clothes and toys I had gotten from friends and Gerard's external family.

"No," I shrugged, "Gerard wants to wait."

"Lame." She exasperated jokingly, "If I knew what the little thing has, I could buy you a gift already."

I giggled, "I don't need a gift."

"For my future niece or nephew, Stormy."

I raised my brow at her, "Things with you and Mikey getting serious?"

She gave me a bashful glance, "Maybe."

"Maybe? Spill." I crossed my arms.

She played with a stuffed Teddy, "Mikey asked me to marry him." She giggled helplessly, "Ugh, I said yes! I'm in love with him."

I smiled at her, "That's great!"

"We aren't getting hitched right away, y'know, we haven't even told anyone."

"How did he propose?"

She bit at her lip, "We went to dinner, then we went home and he got on his knee. I thought he was just reaching for something, but then he took my hand and asked me. It was beautiful." She gushed happily.

I hugged her, "Congradulations!"

"We're keeping it under wraps, so hush-hush." She gave me a cutesy smile.

"I won't tell a soul."

Allie hugged me eagerly, "I'm so happy for myself," she exasperated, "and you, Stormy."

I returned the hug, "Me, too, Al."

So, now all was good.

At times, I waited for inevitable fire to spark. To ruin my life. To fuck me over.

But...nothing came.

Christmas passed, and all was good.

My due date approached quickly, and oddly enough, it was the day after Astrid's birthday. February 1st; I was excited, and I could hardly wait to see my baby.

I got rounder, thicker, and I hated putting that cocoa butter stuff on. It made me sick, but fuck, it made me skin soft. Every morning, I had Gerard put some on my back after my shower.

"I can't wait until I can stop putting this crap on." I mumbled.

"You're all smooth, Stormy." Gerard chuckled.

"Thanks, babe." I pecked his lips and got dressed.

"Hey," He took my hand and made me sit on his lap, I raised my brow, holding my belly, "I have to talk to you about something."

I softened my glance, "What's up?"

"We have to start recording soon," he told me, "The heads at Reprise want us to go to LA to record."

I furrowed my brows, "When?"

"March."

"March? But, our baby is due any day now, you're only--"

He stopped me, "I know, I know. I told them all this, but they want us to meet with some producers. I should them some of the demos Ray and I came up with and they're excited. We're only gonna be there for a few weeks, less than a month, I promise."

I frowned, "This fucking sucks! Why can't you just--" I stopped short, feeling a jolt in my abdomen, "Ugh."

Gerard took my forearms sternly, "What?" He asked with panic.

"The baby is kicking." I said, "It's okay...they've been doing that a lot lately."

He exhaled heavily, placing his hand on my belly, "Fuck."

"It's okay." I repeated, "They're ready to get out of there, remember? The baby turned."

He sighed, "I can't wait until the baby is here."

I pecked his cheek, "Me either."


On the 31st of January, I thought of Astrid. It was her 22nd birthday, and I had wanted to talk to her. She didn't have the same phone, nor the same number. I tried to busy myself not to think of her, but it didn't work.

"Hey, Storm," Gerard came into the living room, where I was folding fresh washed clothes; busting myself, "I'm gonna head to the store before the thunderstorm, need anything?"

I turned to him as he leaned over the couch, "No, I'm fine."

He leaned down and kissed my lips quickly, "I'll be back."

"Okay, be careful."

He jingled his keys, "I will."

I watched him leave and I continued to fold. I was getting things ready for my hospital stay. My due date was tomorrow, and I wanted to make sure that everything would be ready for Gee incase anything had happened. He said he wasn't going to leave the hospital, and I had just told him it was for after, so I didn't have to wash for him. He just gave me a cheeky smile and kissed me.

Just as I began to take the clothes to our bedroom, Allie walked through the door. "Fuck, it's hailing!" She shut the door, "Me and Mikey almost wrecked."

I furrowed my brows, "What happened?" I put the clothes on the table, "And why are you here?"

Before she could answer, Mikey walked through the door, "Shit!"

I chuckled, "Mikey, what happen?

He groaned, he and Allie went over and sat on the couch and I followed, "We were driving over here, and this big fucking piece of hail cracks my windshield! I almost wrecked."

I patted his wet back, "It's okay, you can call--" I felt a sharp pain in my back, "Ow." I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the pain shoot repeatedly.

"Stormy, are you okay?" Allie put her hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head, "Ow, ow, ow!" I looked at her, "Shit, I think the baby is coming."

Mikey shot up, "Oh no! Oh no, no, no!"

We looked at him, I began to breathe heavily, "What?!"

"I've had this dream! No, you cannot have your baby here!"

I shook my head again, "I'm not, I'm gonna wait for Gee."

He paced a minute, then grabbed his phone. Allie put her hand on my lower back as I began to those breathing exercises from the lamaze classes Gerard had taken. I tried not to worry, the pain began to subside, but was still throbbing in my body. I did my breathing, I barely noticed Mikey talking to Gerard.

"Stormy is gonna pop!" He said. Again, Allie and I gave him a look, he didn't look at us. "She's in pain...I think."

I rolled my eyes, "Gimme the phone."

He handed it to me, "Stormy?"

"I'm okay, Gerard, I'm just gonna wait for you."

He sighed, "It's gonna be a while, there was an accident, I'm in traffic."

I swallowed thickly, "How long?"

"I don't know, I'll be there as soon as I can, hang on."

I licked my lips, "Okay," the pain started, "Please, hurry."

"I'm trying."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

I squeezed my eyes shut and handed Mikey his phone. I began the breathing again, my heart sunk into my stomach.