Sweet Ransom

“Sarah honey…” the door to my room edged open, Judy’s voice echoed throughout “You have a meeting”

I looked up from my measly excuse for food and walked towards Judy. I watched as she scoped the hallway, making sure everything was all clear before she even dared to step out into the hallway – she knew me all too well and surprisingly I trusted her completely. I didn’t even bother to scope out the hallway out for myself before I followed Judy to the room all the meetings were held in. Opening the door for me Judy left, I sighed taking a seat on the chair. I really wished she could stay so I at least at someone to share my automatic foul mood with.

My group consisted of 5 females, all of them honestly deserved to be in here – and I mean that in the kindest way possible. One of the ladies, Danielle, Darcie or Daniel depending on what person she was today has a syndrome where she has multiple personalities, she takes the roles of Danielle, the middle age women mother of 3, Darcie, the 16 year old teenage girl with an eating disorder and Daniel a 23 year old man whom is a transvestite. Danielle, like the other women in here need to be here, they are mentally unstable and honestly need help. Me on the other hand, I don’t think I need to be in here. Sure I have a problem but I feel like by me being here I’m depriving someone of being here who genuinely needs to be here.

I sighed as the meeting dragged on and on, this is how it went every week. Depending on where you sat, you had to go around the group being asked several questions by the nurse running the meeting which generally led to people blabbing on about the same shit over and over again. After that, other members of the meeting asked questions before it is the next persons turn to be asked about everything their life entails.

“Sarah, It’s your turn now” Brooke, the leading nurse woke me from my trance “How are you today?”

“I’m okay” I shrugged.

“Is there anything bothering you?” she asked.

“Should there be?” I said bluntly.

“Now, now Sarah. Would you like to tell us about yourself and your problem?”

“Not really”

“Come on, Sarah” she said sternly. I wish she would stop repeating my name in every single god damn sentence of hers!

“Just to shut you up” I mumbled bitterly “I’m Sarah, 23 and I have a disorder where I fear, uh… the opposite sex”

“Elaborate please Sarah” Brooke continued, I was about to find a needle and thread and sew her mouth shut so I didn’t have to hear her aggravating voice repeating my name!

I glared at her before sighing “I use to be a drug addict and rebel against my parents by means of basically ripping their heart from their fucking chest” Brooke glared at me due to my use of ‘inappropriate language’, I snicker to myself making sure she knew that I was just doing it purely to spite her; she knew my intentions completely “To feed my addiction I use to sell drugs, when I couldn’t sell enough of them I would go to a bar and get some man to beat me so I could say to…” I cringed at the thought of saying his name “…my dealer that I was jumped for the drugs”

“Okay, now does anyone have any questions for Sarah?” Brooke asked.

Everyone looked around at each other sheepishly, Samantha, a sufferer from sever bipolar disorder raised her hand to ask a question.

“How did you get the people to hit you?” she asked.

“I use to flirt with them and let them think they were going to have their way with me, once we were alone I offered them a deal, if we did whatever they wanted all I asked was for them to play rough, and hit me. That was all I had to say, it was all the convincing those pigs needed…” I cringed at my memories.

“Why? Why would you do that to yourself!?” she shouted, I didn’t take it to heart though I knew she couldn’t control herself.

“I did it because the drugs had such a severe hold on me I needed my fix” I spoke softly, I watched as Samantha sat quietly, calming herself down. I smiled softly at her, she mouthed a silent apology.

Danielle now raised her hand, I nodded to her and waited to see which personality she was in. “Have you ever had a boyfriend?” she chirped, definitely Darcie.

“Yes” I replied bitterly.

“Who is Max Green and why is he visiting you?” the bitchy 16 year old teenager was coming out.

I frowned angrily almost sort of defensively “What’s it to you!?” I growled protectively.

“Everybody is like talking about it! You, the boy-scared wimp has a guy visitor, what are you fake!?” She flicked her hair like the posh 16 year old tart she was playing.

“No, he is trying to help me” I replied with clenched teeth.

“Sure, you’re just a fake bitch, like eww you’re disgusting I don’t see why anyone would come see you! Everyone hate’s you!”

“Fuck you!” I screamed jumping out of my seat, pushing her causing her chair to fall back on her. I stood over her powerfully, glaring down at her “Shut the fuck up right now! I’m warning you, I don’t care what fucking personality you’re in just shut your fucking mouth!” I felt myself being tightly grabbed, probably by one of the supervising nurses. I turned around and glared at her “I’m not going to touch her again, unless she provokes me, you can let me go now”

She did, watching me like a hawk though as I walked back to my seat. Darcie/Danielle was crying like the prissy teenage bitch she was being, I glared at her as she sobbed into one of the nurses chests whining about how I’m a monster. I thought of Max, and yesterday. He was coming back today to see me today; as I wished - to my astonishment. I was terrified but something in the pit of my stomach grew excitedly, I don’t know what’s coming over me. His one of them Sarah! a little voice whispered softly in my ear.

I didn’t want to miss having to talk to Max, with a slight panic I searched the empty room for a watch or something that could tell me the time. “What time is it?!” I yelled, no one answered so I kept yelling until one of the supervising nurses replied was “3:14pm”. I shuddered, he usually came around 3:30, and I needed to get out of here.

“Can I go now!?” I addressed to Brooke.

“No you cannot, you have to stay here until the meeting is over” she replied.

“The meeting is over! I was the last person!”

“Sarah, is there something bothering you?”

“YOU ARE, YOU’RE FUCKING BOTHERING ME!” I cursed, I figured if I created a scene then they would have to take me back to my room.

“Calm down Sarah…” she stood up coming over to me.

“Don’t come near me! Your voice is annoying enough from a distance!”

“That’s not very nice Sarah”

“STOP SAYING MY FUCKING NAME! I NEED TO GO!” I yelled at her, my anger was actually building; I didn’t have to act anger anymore.

Wary looks flooded the room, knowing my tendencies and personal traits. They stared at me like I was some freak, I screamed out in frustration picking up the chair I was sitting on and throwing it at the side of room, it broke into a few pieces which cascaded over the floor. People shrieked and soon enough I was being escorted back into my room, although I did manage to flip Brooke off on the way out – she always got on my nerves.

I smiled triumphantly as I entered my blank room, I had achieved something. I sat down on my pathetic bed and mumbled a tune to a song I couldn’t name. Time seemed to drag on, and on. I grew tired due to being completely bored shitless, even the meeting was more exciting than this, I rolled over into a tight ball and closed my eyes drifting in and out of the world.

“Sarah…” An unknown voice called my name, I assumed I was dreaming. Although, it continued my eyes slowly opened along with a half-hearted stretch. “Sorry for waking you, we can do this another time if you want to go back to sleep?” Max’s voice echoed.

“I-it’s okay” I stuttered nervously. It wasn’t as bad as I anticipated, I assumed it was because I couldn’t see the monster Max in person.

“So I heard you kicked up a storm today in the meeting” he chuckled to himself “What happened?”

“A p-patient accused m-me of being fake” I muttered.

“Seriously? What could you possibly be fake about?”

“Ab-bout hating you’s”

“Oh… I don’t want you to hate me Sarah”

“I’m trying not to…” I spoke sort of confidently.

“Good” he chirped “So you have a tendency of throwing things hey?” he teased.

I giggled softly to myself “Sort of”

“Why?” he asked with a chuckled.

“W-why not?!” I retorted with more confidence than I thought I could ever have.

He chuckled to himself once again “Good point” he sighed “I want you to answer something honestly for me, I would really appreciate it if you didn’t reply with ‘I don’t know’ or something, can you do that for me?”

I nodded softly, curiously playing with my fingertips.

“Do you think you will ever be able to trust again? And by trust I specifically mean men?”

I sighed “It depends. Over time I think I will come to terms with everything a little bit better and when I leave here I’ll be forced to be around them so I guess that part of it is inevitable. Trusting wise, I’m honestly not sure – If one of you’s gave me hope and somehow enabled me to trust then yes I suppose, maybe. But, I don’t think I’ll be able to for the majority of the population” I replied, speaking with pure honesty.

“Good because I intend on gaining your trust, one way or another”

“Um…” I attempted to reply in protest.

“No, please just don’t say no. Let things run its course, don’t try and force me out Sarah, I’m here trying to help you, and I’m here purely for you. I’m not going to ever hurt you I promise you that. Just let me prove it to you, please”

“O-okay” I nodded softly, a single tear slipping out of the corner of my eye.

“Please don’t cry, I feel like shit now”

“I-it’s not your fault” I stuttered.

“Then what’s making you cry?”

“Y-you’re the first person who has refused to g-give up on me”

“I wish you could see how much I’m smiling right now” he sighed “I promise you Sarah, I’m never going to give up on you”

“T-thank you”

“Anytime…”

A comfortable silence fell over the room, it wasn’t awkward or anything – it was peaceful. I wondered about Max, I wondered what he was doing right now, was he fiddling with his thumbs or playing with his shirt. Was he as pleased as I was just to be in each other’s company?

“Max… what do you look like?” I asked curiously.

He laughed “Um well, I have long dark hair, uh a nose ring and two lip piercings and I have tattoos. Umm… I don’t know how else to describe myself”

“I don’t know either!” I laughed lightly.

“Hang on, I have an idea!” he cheered.

I heard shuffling through the microphone, then a snapping noise following Max talking to Judy. There was a knock on my door, I started to panic thinking he was coming in – I backed myself up into the corner of my room.

“Honey it’s just me” Judy’s calming voice calmed me instantly. She walked into the room, something black in her hand. “Max asked me to show you this…” she handed me a mobile phone.

I looked at the bright screen to see a picture of a man fitting the lazy description given to me. Max’s hair drooped messily off his shoulders and he had a goofy grin spread across his face. I smiled as I could see his tattooed neck and arm in the picture also. I handed the phone back to Judy as she smiled pleasingly and headed back out of the room.

“You have nice eyes Max” I said softly.

“Thank you” he said brightly.

We continued to talk for another 20 minutes, I didn’t fully understand why I was so able to talk to him when anyone else (apart from my father which I’m working on) I would scream and go frantic. Something about the way that Max has a major care factor for me I don’t understand but I don’t want it to go away. I have a certain admiration for the way he is trying to do everything in his will power to help me, I’m just trying to help him along too by cooperating because in the end he is doing this for my benefit.

“Sarah, I have to go…” he sighed.

“It’s okay. Thank you for coming today” I said softly.

“It was my pleasure. Do you mind if we do this again sometime?” he asked sort of awkwardly, kind of like he was asking me out on a date.

“Sure” I smiled lightly “When?”

“Is tomorrow okay?”

“Yes, as long as you come regularly” I blushed.

“I’M COMING HANG ON!” Max screamed at one of the nurses repeating his name impatiently, I laughed at his little tantrum. “Sorry about what, I would love too”

“It’s okay” I smiled “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow”

“Goodbye beautiful…”