Far Away From Where You Are

The wind softly ran its invisible fingers through Brendon’s hair. It hung over his large brown eyes as they danced over the sights before him. He was walking to his bands newest gig, his guitar slung loosely over his shoulder. Before him lay the vast forest where the Willow Tree Festival was held every year.

The Willow Tree Festival was a time where the families in town all gathered in the forest to look up at the fireworks beneath the lit willow trees. Brendon had never gone, but this year would be different. Brendon felt his lips begin to tug up into a smile. This year, he finally had a reason to go.

***

“Great show guys,” sang the bar manager happily, “you can collect your checks from the bartender. I’ll see you guys on Tuesday.”

As the stout man waddled off, Spencer quickly grabbed each of their checks, and they all made for the door. They began to make their way back down the street, towards the apartment building they all shared. Payday was the best day of the week, for some reason, nobody knew.

Jon laughed heartily as he imitated how Brendon had nearly fallen off stage. Spencer chuckled but did nothing more, as Ryan tried futilely to hold Brendon back. They had all known each other for longer than any of them could remember and were comfortable enough to know that this was all in jest.

“Hey guys, do you want to hang out during The Willow Tree Festival tomorrow night?” asked Brendon nonchalantly, as he pulled himself away from Ryan.

Everyone stopped walking and looked uncomfortably at Brendon. All of them exchanged awkward looks as their silence began to press in on him. Brendon had a bad feeling about all this.

Spencer was the first to speak, “Sorry dude, I’ve got to go to the festival with my family.”

“Me too.” added Jon.

“Same here.” commented Ryan.

“What?! Come on, guys! You see your families all the time, can’t you just go on one of the other festival days?” pleaded Brendon desperately.

“Sorry dude, but it’s just not going to happen. You know that there are only fireworks on the first day, and my parents want to see them with me.” sighed Spencer. He had known that Brendon was not going to take this well.

“You know what? That’s messed up, you guys knew I wanted to go with you, why are you all being such dicks?” growled Brendon angrily.

Ryan was caught off guard and immediately became defensive, “How would we have known that? You have never wanted to go any other year, so why would we think that? It’s not like we’re just going to blow off our families just in case, on the off chance, you might want to hang out with us.”

Brendon shot Ryan a pointed stare, but said nothing. He knew Ryan was right, and that he was being unreasonable, but something about Ryan’s tone immediately made him want to fight back.

“You know what, Ryan? You can fuck off.” and with that, Brendon stomped off towards their apartment building.

Ryan glared after Brendon, Ryan had no reason to feel guilty, Brendon was being a prick, and he knew it. Although, some part of him knew that he was going to have to talk to Brendon. Brendon never blew up at people like that, ever, something serious must be going on with him.

***

Brendon woke up late the next day. He hadn’t spoken a single word to any of his friends since last night, and to say that he was feeling stupid, would have defiantly been an understatement. But, no matter what, his pride would never allow him to apologise first.

He roughly threw his blankets to the floor. As he crossed in front of his balcony, he caught a glimpse of the trees that were spread out before him. That sight always took his breath away. Simply a forest full of the most beautiful trees in the world.

His thoughts were disrupted by a quick knock at the door. Brendon groggily stumbled towards his front door, nearly tripping over several piles of clean and dirty laundry. Without bothering to look through the peep hole, he wrenched open the door to see a rather startled Ryan. Ryan's face seemed to flush as he stared at Brendon's disheveled hair and shirtless chest. Brendon only ever slept in his boxers.

“Hey...” mumbled Brendon sleepily.

“Hey, are you just getting up? It’s like, two or something.” asked Ryan.

“Yeah, what do you need?”

“Well, the bar manager just called, his wife is sick so we got the week off. I thought I should tell you. Hey, are you alright?”

Brendon was caught off guard by the sudden question, “Uh, yeah, I’m fine. Why? Are you okay?”

“You kind of tried to bite off my head yesterday. You want to talk about it?”

Brendon sighed deeply, if he was going to tell someone, it might as well be Ryan.

***

“I’ve never been to the festival because I never had anyone to go with. My parents kicked me out a long time ago,” began Brendon as he handed Ryan a cup of coffee, “see, I really wanted to go with you guys this year because it would be like having a family. Since you guys are the closest I’ve got. I just really wanted to watch the fireworks with you guys.”

Ryan said nothing, as he quietly sipped his coffee. Both simply sat in awkward silence till all the coffee had been drunk. Brendon was quickly growing tired of it.

“I think I’m going to go.” he stated shortly and made for the door.

Ryan made no move stop him.

***

Brendon stared out on the sea of light that spread out under the night sky. He wanted to be down there, with his friends. He wanted to be just like everyone else, off seeing their family. Suddenly his phone vibrated in his pocket. He slowly flipped it open. It was text from Ryan. He didn’t feel much like talking, but he opened it none the less.

Get to the edge of the forest, now. Emergency.

Brendon flipped his phone shut and rushed out the door. Even though he was mad at Ryan, if he needed him, Brendon would be there in a second.

***

When Brendon arrived, slightly out of breath, Ryan was lazily leaning against a nearby tree.

“Hey, what’s wrong.” huffed Brendon.

“Come with me.” Ryan grabbed him by the wrist and began to lead the way into the forest.

***

“Ryan, where are we going? We’re crazy deep into the forest now.” grumbled Brendon. He was quickly losing his patience with being pulled around.

“Don’t complain so much, we’re almost there.” stated Ryan evenly.

Just when Brendon was beginning to think that Ryan was leading him out into the woods to kill him, the trees cleared.

Brendon felt his breath catch in his throat. It was a large clearing of trees with just grass and a view of the sky. In the centre of it all, was a large willow tree with Christmas lights crudely hung along the branches.

“Wha-What is...?”

“You said you wanted to see the fireworks, and although Jon and Spencer can’t make it. I hope I’m enough.” he said with a smile, “I couldn’t really find a free tree near the festival, so I made my own. I hope it’s not too crappy.”

Without thinking, Brendon threw his arms around Ryan’s shoulders, “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

Just then, fireworks lit up the sky in a dazzling display of colours and sound, but Brendon couldn’t bring himself to let go of Ryan. Ryan carefully wrapped his arms around Brendon.
“Ryan, can we do this again next year?” asked Brendon, just loud enough so that only Ryan and the wind could hear him.

“I promise.”

***

“That was a lot of fun Ryan.” laughed Brendon as they both stumbled towards the road. It was just past twelve o’clock and they were both ready to crash.

Ryan turned towards him and began to walk backwards so that he could face him.

“I know right? I can’t wait till next year.” He smiled bright enough that Brendon could never even think of making a comparison between him and any other type of beauty.

Suddenly, the loud squeal of tires filled the night air. Brendon turned his head. In a split second he saw the bright headlights hurtling towards them. Brendon reached out to pull Ryan back, to push him forward, something, anything. He felt tearing pain in his arm as his body was violently jerked and thrown to the side by the force of the car.

***

The paramedics arrived on the scene half an hour later. What they found, they almost couldn’t comprehend. A young boy sat cradling an unconscious friend. His arm was clearly broken in several places, and he was bleeding heavily from a deep cut along it. The boy's eyes were wide with shock, unable to process what had happened in only seconds. The other boy's eyes were closed; his face was blood drenched from an unseen cut hidden in his matted hair.

They approached the two. They were only kids. Twenty at most.

“Please, is he going to be okay?” croaked the boy with the broken arm.

The paramedics remained silent as they began to check the boy’s vitals, only to find he had none.

“Please, just tell me if he’s alright!” he screamed as he desperately clutched Ryan in his arms.

***

Brendon sat beneath the willow tree Ryan had brought him to the year before. Brendon wore his black suit and tie, not at all caring that he was getting dirt all over it.

“Hey Ryan...” muttered Brendon to the open air, “I’m kind of far away from where you are. I miss you... I miss the years that were just us mucking around. I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face...I miss all the little things. I never thought that they’d mean everything to me.”

Brendon began to choke up. He felt tears begin to stream down his cheeks, he tried to hold them back, but that only made them more painful. He heard the nearby rumble of thunder as the clouds that had been threatening to burst all day, finally broke. Rain fell over the field as Brendon huddled closer into himself under the lit tree.

“I miss you,” he choked helplessly, “and I wish you were here. Goddamn it, it should have been me! Ryan, I’m so sorry!”

The sky was suddenly lit by the brilliant explosion of the first firework, they illuminated everything in the field, including Ryan’s gravestone.