Confessions
001
He was the campus heartthrob. I was an ordinary student.
But it never stopped us from becoming the best of friends.
I never knew why Joo Won became so dear to me. We were on the opposite ends of the pole. I was the silent and shy type, while he was the talkative and outgoing one. He was a leader, and had a strong charisma when it comes to girls. I tend to be a loner at times. People's eyebrows were raised in judgement as we walk down the hallway. I felt a bit uncomfortable, but instead of letting go, Joo Won only tightened his relaxing arm around my shoulders.
“You're my best friend, Sung Min. don't worry about what they say.” he'd tell me.
That was always his reassuring statement. He told me that. I nodded half-heartedly and took that silent walk with him.
He wasn't hard to get along with. He had this sunny disposition in life that attracted a lot of people near him. His smile was brighter than the brightest sun. He had a bunch of friends, but he always sticks to me. Coming from a well-to-do family, he was bred with good manners and right conduct.
As we walked home, he asked me a question that struck me the most.
“Sung Min, did you already, fall in love?” he asked, his arm still around my shoulders. He shot me that meaningful look in his eyes.
I couldn't answer. The steps that we were making and the sound of vehicles zooming along the street were the only sounds that we could hear. My heart pounded in my chest, as the fact that I had been hiding tried to float on the surface.
I was in love with him.
I didn't know why it happened, and I knew it was forbidden. We were both boys, he was my best friend, and I shouldn't feel that way. What made me fall for him was his good looks and sincerity. He was a true person. In that long span of time that we knew each other, he never hid anything from me.
My voice was a bit shaky when I answered him.
“N-Not yet.”
And with that, he smiled at me and we continued walking.
This feeling has been tormenting me for years now. I fought so hard to keep it from him, knowing that I'd lose the friend I treasured the most. As much as I want to let this go, I never did, for this was the only thing that that kept me alive and happy. At this instance, Joo Won was my everything.
Everything.
February 14 came in that year. It was Valentine's Day, and as usual, girls were giving flowers and chocolates to their special someone. Joo Won received a lot of them, coming from the girls who liked him. Red roses and tulips were laid one after another on his table, and expensive chocolate boxes were scattered on the floor. I looked around me to see if someone was out there, watching my every action. When there was none, I put a white rose on top of the red roses and smiled to myself. This was it. This was my confession of love to him.
I walked home that afternoon when it suddenly rained hard. I couldn't find a place to spare myself from the bad weather so I continued on walking.
“Sung Min!”
Joo Won was running to my direction when I turned my head. He brought that white rose, the one I left on his table to tell him how much I love him.
The rain poured harder as he spoke.
“Why did you give me this one?” he said, reaching out the rose.
I didn't bother to answer and walked away. He caught my arm and forced me to face him.
“What?” I said, irritated and angry.
“You're giving me this because you love me. You lied to me when I asked if you had already fallen in love.”
I freed myself from his touch.
“Yeah. I love you, even if I know it's wrong. I can't force myself to go away from you because I so love you, though it's tearing me up. It's better if I don't go with you anymore. Get it? Now I have to go.”
I turned my back on him, and he suddenly hugged me from the back. Despite the cold rain that froze our bodies, I could feel the heat igniting from the deepest part of us. His hug was so tight, like he said he would never let me go.
“Don't leave me, Sung Min.”
I was puzzled. He was supposed to be angry, but his emotions had totally changed.
He tightened the gesture even more. I could feel his fast-paced heartbeat and uneven breathing. In that short second, he uttered the words that I've been dying to hear, and would send me to a million heavens.
“I love you.”
--THE END--
But it never stopped us from becoming the best of friends.
I never knew why Joo Won became so dear to me. We were on the opposite ends of the pole. I was the silent and shy type, while he was the talkative and outgoing one. He was a leader, and had a strong charisma when it comes to girls. I tend to be a loner at times. People's eyebrows were raised in judgement as we walk down the hallway. I felt a bit uncomfortable, but instead of letting go, Joo Won only tightened his relaxing arm around my shoulders.
“You're my best friend, Sung Min. don't worry about what they say.” he'd tell me.
That was always his reassuring statement. He told me that. I nodded half-heartedly and took that silent walk with him.
He wasn't hard to get along with. He had this sunny disposition in life that attracted a lot of people near him. His smile was brighter than the brightest sun. He had a bunch of friends, but he always sticks to me. Coming from a well-to-do family, he was bred with good manners and right conduct.
As we walked home, he asked me a question that struck me the most.
“Sung Min, did you already, fall in love?” he asked, his arm still around my shoulders. He shot me that meaningful look in his eyes.
I couldn't answer. The steps that we were making and the sound of vehicles zooming along the street were the only sounds that we could hear. My heart pounded in my chest, as the fact that I had been hiding tried to float on the surface.
I was in love with him.
I didn't know why it happened, and I knew it was forbidden. We were both boys, he was my best friend, and I shouldn't feel that way. What made me fall for him was his good looks and sincerity. He was a true person. In that long span of time that we knew each other, he never hid anything from me.
My voice was a bit shaky when I answered him.
“N-Not yet.”
And with that, he smiled at me and we continued walking.
This feeling has been tormenting me for years now. I fought so hard to keep it from him, knowing that I'd lose the friend I treasured the most. As much as I want to let this go, I never did, for this was the only thing that that kept me alive and happy. At this instance, Joo Won was my everything.
Everything.
February 14 came in that year. It was Valentine's Day, and as usual, girls were giving flowers and chocolates to their special someone. Joo Won received a lot of them, coming from the girls who liked him. Red roses and tulips were laid one after another on his table, and expensive chocolate boxes were scattered on the floor. I looked around me to see if someone was out there, watching my every action. When there was none, I put a white rose on top of the red roses and smiled to myself. This was it. This was my confession of love to him.
I walked home that afternoon when it suddenly rained hard. I couldn't find a place to spare myself from the bad weather so I continued on walking.
“Sung Min!”
Joo Won was running to my direction when I turned my head. He brought that white rose, the one I left on his table to tell him how much I love him.
The rain poured harder as he spoke.
“Why did you give me this one?” he said, reaching out the rose.
I didn't bother to answer and walked away. He caught my arm and forced me to face him.
“What?” I said, irritated and angry.
“You're giving me this because you love me. You lied to me when I asked if you had already fallen in love.”
I freed myself from his touch.
“Yeah. I love you, even if I know it's wrong. I can't force myself to go away from you because I so love you, though it's tearing me up. It's better if I don't go with you anymore. Get it? Now I have to go.”
I turned my back on him, and he suddenly hugged me from the back. Despite the cold rain that froze our bodies, I could feel the heat igniting from the deepest part of us. His hug was so tight, like he said he would never let me go.
“Don't leave me, Sung Min.”
I was puzzled. He was supposed to be angry, but his emotions had totally changed.
He tightened the gesture even more. I could feel his fast-paced heartbeat and uneven breathing. In that short second, he uttered the words that I've been dying to hear, and would send me to a million heavens.
“I love you.”
--THE END--