Fallen In Love In The Worst Way
Part Two
(one year ago)
‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KERRIEEEE’ I heard my mother and Ellie sing in sync while walking in from my kitchen, through to my dining room to where i was poised up on a chair, waiting for my cake to be delivered at the table.
‘blow out the candles, come on!’ Ellie encouraged.
I looked at the huge chocolate cake infront of me, with 19 candles standing proudly waiting to be blown out. I made a wish. Like i do every year. This time it was different. I didn’t wish for a pony, or an A in that maths exam, neither did i wish for that extremely beautiful specimen in my english class to ask me out. I wished for my best friend to come home. It had been a whole year without hearing a single word from Jay. He moved to London only a few short weeks after finding out he was in the band, and being in Nottingham for me… well it’s a pretty long distance.
‘can i PA-LEASE cut the cake, i’m starving!’ Ellie broke the silence as i stared down at nothing, simply drowning in my own thoughts. I knew that wish wouldn’t come true, he’s managed a year without me, i’m sure i could try to move on. I never understood why he never even threw me a simple text, or a phone call to say how thing’s are going. I was literally broken, i didn’t know how to cope without my sidekick being by my side. I missed everything, but i was learning to make do. Ever since Jay left i’ve warmed up to Ellie, she hasn’t replaced him, but she has become the only person i can now trust.
‘Ah sure, go for it… fat bitch!’ i perked up and walked over to the sitting room to turn the tv up. Party Girl by Mcfly started to play on mtv hits, so i practically blasted the TV, until the speakers started to shake dramatically. As i danced frantically around the living room like an absolute loonatic, the front door bell rang.
‘don’t bother answering, cause i’m already in!’ Sean stated while dumping his bag down by my front door.
‘Whada you want?’ i sniggered slightly while straightening my self up, before i lost all respect from him.
‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY KERRIEEE!’ his face burst into a grin as he launched himself at me.
‘i didn’t know what you wanted, so you know.. i got you some skittles.. my mum says have a good day by the way… even though it’s already half 2. what ever..’ he drifted off into a quiet mumble while handing me a colourful gift bag, literally filled to the rim of skittles.
‘aw thank you!’ i gleamed whilst reaching my hand down into the bag, scooping up the colourful sweets as if i were a digger & launched them all into my gob.
‘praying won’t do it, hating won’t do it..’ i heard coming from the tv. my head snapped up instantly as i swirled around to face the television, i grabbed the remote and turned it down. The last thing i needed was to see the current UK #No1 playing like it already had 50million times in the last hour. Seeing Jay’s face on my TV was seriously something i was never going to get used to. It hurt. Alot. Knowing i can see him but not actually communicate, or call him my best friend. I sound pathetic, but until you’ve had a 18 year old friend ship broken, you can’t really judge me.
‘Bah look at that fool, thinking he’s all this and that’ Sean chuckled while pointing at his brother doing some dodgey arm action whilst holding a flare.
I looked down at my phone in some form of hope of having a text, or a missed call, or anything to even acknowledge the fact i existed.. nothing. It broke me everytime i ever built my hopes up. I decided it’d be a good time to try and actually ring him. I wouldn’t know what to say, but to hear his voice would be a good start.
I punched in his new number which Sean gave to me and held the phone nervously to my ear. I waited impatiently for it to dial, and the tone seemed to last for ever. Suddenly an unexpected, unfarmilliar voice answered.
‘ayup? how can i help?’ i knew it wasn’t Jay, i could have put the phone down right there, right then but there was something holding me back.
‘uhhh’ i breathed, not knowing what to say. ‘who is this?’
‘it’s Nathan, hey, sorry if you’re looking for Jay he’s currently recording but call back in like 10 minutes an-oh wait he’s here!’ i could literally feel my heartbeat build up suddenly, as if it were about to jump out of my chest.
‘YELLLLOH?’ it was him. he called down the phone loudly and unaware of who was at the other end.
‘dude, you’re time wasting here’ he sounded different, like his balls had dropped & his voice was lower & more powerful.
‘uhm, i’ll ring you back if you’re busy?’ i spluttered quietly.
‘is.. this who i think it is..?’
‘well it’s not your grandmother..’ i joked, hoping he still had his sense of humour.
‘KERRIE IT IS YOU! OH, MY, CHRIST ON A BIKE. HOW LONG HAS IT TOOK FOR YOU TO CALL ME?! i lost your number ages ago and had no way of getting it back, i was lost without you! You have no idea how much this has just made my day!’ I could feel my face well up, now holding the fattest grin ever. he hadn’t actually been ignoring me this whole time, or not meaning to anyway.
‘i thought you forgotten about me, Curly!’ i jumped onto the sofa and brought my legs up, still in ecstasy, hearing his voice was the best thing i’ve heard in the last part of 12 months.
‘forget you?! forget… you?! kezz, i wouldn’t even dare forget the fact that it’s your birthday today!’ suddenly i could hear shuffling in the background, followed by a choir of 5 lads, known as ‘The WANTED’ singing happy birthday to me down the phone. It was beautiful, in a creepy sort of sense.
‘I PROMISE you i’ll come home for your 20th! no way i’m missing that! i really have to go.. but please save this number and text me every fucking minute of the day, no way am i losing contact with you again..’ His voice trailed off as i could tell he was also having a 2 way conversation with one of his band mates.
‘i can’t go another year without you James-eth’ i sighed.
‘who said you’d have to? I only said i was coming home for your 20th, for all you know i could be outside your front door right now! BUT i’m not.. so don’t bother checking, i will come back soon! just please god, don’t give up hope! I LOVE YOU KEZZ’ he shouted enthusiastically before hanging up.
‘i.. love you too.’ i sighed again and dropped my phone down onto the sofa.
I was jealous of him in a way. Being all successful and famous, then there was me hoping to get that place in Sunnyside Daycare to look after screaming toddlers all day long, i’d so much rather be a musician, i just wasn’t good at anything.
‘Was that.. Jay?!’ Ellie shouted while jumping into the living room.
‘i guess you could say that, yeah’ i sighed and looked down, letting my long dark brown hair cover my face. I should be happy, but i really wasn’t. How could i be when the best part of my life was living like 100 miles away?
‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KERRIEEEE’ I heard my mother and Ellie sing in sync while walking in from my kitchen, through to my dining room to where i was poised up on a chair, waiting for my cake to be delivered at the table.
‘blow out the candles, come on!’ Ellie encouraged.
I looked at the huge chocolate cake infront of me, with 19 candles standing proudly waiting to be blown out. I made a wish. Like i do every year. This time it was different. I didn’t wish for a pony, or an A in that maths exam, neither did i wish for that extremely beautiful specimen in my english class to ask me out. I wished for my best friend to come home. It had been a whole year without hearing a single word from Jay. He moved to London only a few short weeks after finding out he was in the band, and being in Nottingham for me… well it’s a pretty long distance.
‘can i PA-LEASE cut the cake, i’m starving!’ Ellie broke the silence as i stared down at nothing, simply drowning in my own thoughts. I knew that wish wouldn’t come true, he’s managed a year without me, i’m sure i could try to move on. I never understood why he never even threw me a simple text, or a phone call to say how thing’s are going. I was literally broken, i didn’t know how to cope without my sidekick being by my side. I missed everything, but i was learning to make do. Ever since Jay left i’ve warmed up to Ellie, she hasn’t replaced him, but she has become the only person i can now trust.
‘Ah sure, go for it… fat bitch!’ i perked up and walked over to the sitting room to turn the tv up. Party Girl by Mcfly started to play on mtv hits, so i practically blasted the TV, until the speakers started to shake dramatically. As i danced frantically around the living room like an absolute loonatic, the front door bell rang.
‘don’t bother answering, cause i’m already in!’ Sean stated while dumping his bag down by my front door.
‘Whada you want?’ i sniggered slightly while straightening my self up, before i lost all respect from him.
‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY KERRIEEE!’ his face burst into a grin as he launched himself at me.
‘i didn’t know what you wanted, so you know.. i got you some skittles.. my mum says have a good day by the way… even though it’s already half 2. what ever..’ he drifted off into a quiet mumble while handing me a colourful gift bag, literally filled to the rim of skittles.
‘aw thank you!’ i gleamed whilst reaching my hand down into the bag, scooping up the colourful sweets as if i were a digger & launched them all into my gob.
‘praying won’t do it, hating won’t do it..’ i heard coming from the tv. my head snapped up instantly as i swirled around to face the television, i grabbed the remote and turned it down. The last thing i needed was to see the current UK #No1 playing like it already had 50million times in the last hour. Seeing Jay’s face on my TV was seriously something i was never going to get used to. It hurt. Alot. Knowing i can see him but not actually communicate, or call him my best friend. I sound pathetic, but until you’ve had a 18 year old friend ship broken, you can’t really judge me.
‘Bah look at that fool, thinking he’s all this and that’ Sean chuckled while pointing at his brother doing some dodgey arm action whilst holding a flare.
I looked down at my phone in some form of hope of having a text, or a missed call, or anything to even acknowledge the fact i existed.. nothing. It broke me everytime i ever built my hopes up. I decided it’d be a good time to try and actually ring him. I wouldn’t know what to say, but to hear his voice would be a good start.
I punched in his new number which Sean gave to me and held the phone nervously to my ear. I waited impatiently for it to dial, and the tone seemed to last for ever. Suddenly an unexpected, unfarmilliar voice answered.
‘ayup? how can i help?’ i knew it wasn’t Jay, i could have put the phone down right there, right then but there was something holding me back.
‘uhhh’ i breathed, not knowing what to say. ‘who is this?’
‘it’s Nathan, hey, sorry if you’re looking for Jay he’s currently recording but call back in like 10 minutes an-oh wait he’s here!’ i could literally feel my heartbeat build up suddenly, as if it were about to jump out of my chest.
‘YELLLLOH?’ it was him. he called down the phone loudly and unaware of who was at the other end.
‘dude, you’re time wasting here’ he sounded different, like his balls had dropped & his voice was lower & more powerful.
‘uhm, i’ll ring you back if you’re busy?’ i spluttered quietly.
‘is.. this who i think it is..?’
‘well it’s not your grandmother..’ i joked, hoping he still had his sense of humour.
‘KERRIE IT IS YOU! OH, MY, CHRIST ON A BIKE. HOW LONG HAS IT TOOK FOR YOU TO CALL ME?! i lost your number ages ago and had no way of getting it back, i was lost without you! You have no idea how much this has just made my day!’ I could feel my face well up, now holding the fattest grin ever. he hadn’t actually been ignoring me this whole time, or not meaning to anyway.
‘i thought you forgotten about me, Curly!’ i jumped onto the sofa and brought my legs up, still in ecstasy, hearing his voice was the best thing i’ve heard in the last part of 12 months.
‘forget you?! forget… you?! kezz, i wouldn’t even dare forget the fact that it’s your birthday today!’ suddenly i could hear shuffling in the background, followed by a choir of 5 lads, known as ‘The WANTED’ singing happy birthday to me down the phone. It was beautiful, in a creepy sort of sense.
‘I PROMISE you i’ll come home for your 20th! no way i’m missing that! i really have to go.. but please save this number and text me every fucking minute of the day, no way am i losing contact with you again..’ His voice trailed off as i could tell he was also having a 2 way conversation with one of his band mates.
‘i can’t go another year without you James-eth’ i sighed.
‘who said you’d have to? I only said i was coming home for your 20th, for all you know i could be outside your front door right now! BUT i’m not.. so don’t bother checking, i will come back soon! just please god, don’t give up hope! I LOVE YOU KEZZ’ he shouted enthusiastically before hanging up.
‘i.. love you too.’ i sighed again and dropped my phone down onto the sofa.
I was jealous of him in a way. Being all successful and famous, then there was me hoping to get that place in Sunnyside Daycare to look after screaming toddlers all day long, i’d so much rather be a musician, i just wasn’t good at anything.
‘Was that.. Jay?!’ Ellie shouted while jumping into the living room.
‘i guess you could say that, yeah’ i sighed and looked down, letting my long dark brown hair cover my face. I should be happy, but i really wasn’t. How could i be when the best part of my life was living like 100 miles away?