Coffin of a Girl I Knew

The lights seemed to focus only on her, blinding her as she walked. But she didn’t seem to notice. And if she did, she only thought of how great they would make her look. She walked with such ferocity, she felt like a lioness closing in for the kill. Flashbulbs further blinded her. But again, she didn’t care. She thought only of the music and keeping her pace with it. Although, she didn’t really have to think about it. She was a natural. Born for this career.

As she neared the end of the runway, she posed and observed the all the spectators. Well known fashionistas and media in the front, less important people in the back. Yet, every one of them had their eyes focused on her. She tried her best to transfix them, and she did her job well. Their attention gave her the last bit of confidence she needed.

She turned and walked back across the runway. Just before she exited the stage, she glanced around and noticed many whispering. She knew what they were talking about and it threw off her confidence a bit; put her mind in another place. That was not good for her previous lioness mindset. Luckily it wasn’t her time to shine anymore.

Despite the funk in her mood, her final pose and exodus was swift and graceful. The directors and lesser known models babbled on about her great performance. She wasn’t listening. Now, she thought only of her past. What everyone else was talking about, she was sure.

Her powerful mood changed in an instant. Now all she felt was pain. She wanted to leave as fast as she possibly could. She quickly went over to a changing station, stripped out of the designer clothes and threw on her own raggedy, loose clothing. She grabbed her small, black backpack and hastily left the building. Everyone stared at her, dumbfounded. She ignored them. She reached the backdoor of the building and started walking quickly in the direction her apartment was.

Before she got out of the alleyway, she grabbed a pack of cigarettes out of her pack. She took one out, lit it, and inhaled deeply. She exhaled, feeling a little relief. It cured a little bit of her anxiety.

“Grym?” She closed her eyes in disbelief. Slowly, she turned around, taking another drag of her cigarette. It was Calli, another model from the show whom she’d known since she was thirteen.

“Where are you going, Gretchen?” she asked, curiously.

“Home.”

“Why so suddenly?”

“A little anxiety, that’s all.”

“Why? Everyone thought you did great out there, Grym.”

Gretchen blew the cigarette smoke up into the air, frustrated. “I really don’t care about that right now.”

“What’s up with you?” Calli questioned.

“Nothing I want to talk about right now. But everyone else seems to want to talk about it.” She paused, taking a long drag of her cigarette. “In there. Everyone was talking about me, my past. I could feel it. It just threw me off a little, that’s all.”

Calli frowned. “I know you hate it. But you’re going to have to get used to it at some point in time. As long as you’re in the public’s eye, they’ll talk. It’s not going to get any better, I can assure you.” Calli would know, too. She had been in the modeling business much longer than Gretchen had. Gretchen remembered many times where she had to console Calli over some hurtful words.

“I suppose you’re right,” Gretchen mumbled, looking to the filthy alley street beneath her feet.

Calli let a little smile slip out. “I’m serious, though. You were great out there. Let those people talk. They don’t got shit on you.”

With that, Gretchen couldn’t help but smile.