Fighting for Freedom

Everyone clapped when Dawson was done. I looked down at my shoes in embarrassment. After everyone was done clapping they resumed dancing, and I excused myself from Prince Landon. I went to the side and sat down in a chair they had for the aged guests who could not dance. When Dawson spotted me he smiled and waltzed over.

“Princess, did you like your song?” he asked. I looked up and gave him a cold look.

“If I liked your song, I would have let you know,” I said coolly, then walked away. As I neared the door I felt someone grab my hand and turn me around.

“Would you like to dance now, princess?” Sir William asked me with that smug smile I had already grown to hate.

“Leave me be,” I snapped at him as I pulled my arm free, and strode out the double door of the giant ballroom. Father wouldn’t be happy when he learned how I disrespected Sir William. I was always told to never disrespect a man, no matter how cross they made you. I knew there would be consequences for my actions, but right now I just needed to be alone.

I finally made it to my room and collapsed on my bed. I reached down and grabbed my silk sheets, bringing them up to my chin. My eyes watered up and within a few seconds I was crying. How could he do this? With everything happening right now, why did he have to do this? Why?

Cassie words kept running over and over in my head. Sometimes duty means doing something your heart will regret. How true those words were. She was right about one thing, royals may never lack in the necessities of life, but that did not mean our life was perfect. Every present comes with strings.

A soft knock came from my door. I quickly sat up and wiped my tears away, trying to make myself look presentable.

“Come in,” I called to the person at the door. My mother’s face appeared. Concern present in her eyes, and lines of worry on her forehead. I must not have done a good job at cleaning up my disheveled appearance, because she rushed over to my bed and sat down next to me.

“Lydia? What is wrong?” she asked. “Your eyes are red.” I sniffled and looked down at my shoes.

“I cannot tell you mother,” I told her. I couldn’t tell her that I didn’t want to marry any of the princes, I didn’t want to disappoint her. My mother reached over and took my hands in her own.

“Lydia, you can tell me anything.”

“Mother, I need a comforter right now, not a confidant,” I pleaded her. She let go of my hands and wrapped her arms around me shoulders, pulling me close. I rested my head on her shoulder like I did when I was younger. My mother hadn’t hugged me like this is many years.

“Lydia, please tell me what is causing you distress,” she begged me. I needed someone to talk to, someone who would understand.

“Mother, why did you marry father?” I asked. I couldn’t see my mother’s face, but I felt her tense up. I must have brought up a sensitive subject.

“My father chose him as my husband. I wasn’t given a choice in the matter.” I pulled back and looked into her eyes. There was pain in them.

“You didn’t chose father?” I asked, surprised. I really shouldn’t have been though, it was always custom for the King to chose a husband for his daughter.

I could see myself reflected in her eyes. Scared, sad, and uncertain about what the future would bring. With her reddish brown hair falling in wavy locks around her face and shoulders, pink lips, and blue eyes, I looked nothing like her, I had always gotten all my looks from my father, but my mother and I were one in the same on the inside.

“I think I know what is troubling you,” she finally said. I looked down at my shoes once again, and she placed her hand under my chin, lifting it up to meet her eyes.

“I know how you feel. You don’t want to marry someone you don’t love, but you will grow to love your future husband.” When she said this I thought of Cassie, she said the same thing.

“Did you grow to love father?” I asked quietly. I got my answer when her eyes darted away from my face.

“I have grown very fond of King Darius,” she said, raising her eyes to meet mine. “Now, make no mistake, he is a good man, and I am fortunate to be his wife, but…I don’t love him in the romantic sense. I am very close to him, and he is like a very close friend, or a brother, but I do not love him in a romantic way. I am grateful to him, because he gave me a beautiful daughter,” my mom said, tucking a stray hair behind my ear, “But I do not love him in the sense you think I do. Do not misunderstand me though, I am very happy with my life, I do not regret my father picking Darius as my husband, but I do sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had married for love instead.” I looked down at my shoes. This was the first time I had heard mother speak of father in this way.

“Will it be like that for me?” I asked softly. My mother nodded.

“You may never have romantic feelings for your husband, but you will grow close to him. On the other hand, you might be like the women who marry a man and then fall deeply in love with them, that is not uncommon.” I knew my mother was just trying to cheer me up.

“Why must life be so hard?”

“The life of a woman is never easy. We live in a man’s world, which means we must abide by their rules, whether we like them or not. That is our purpose in life,” she counseled me. I nodded. I knew this, we lived in a man’s world, and our sole purpose was to produce children, but for a brief second I wondered what it would be like if we were both considered equal, but then laughed at the absurdity of the idea.

“Your father wasn’t too happy when Sir William told him what you had done,” my mom brought up, and I winced. I knew this was coming.

“But I have talked to him, and he knows you are under pressure, so he is forgiving you for your transgression,” my mom finished. I let out a sigh of relief. I may be the daughter of the King, but I was not above the law of how women should behave. Suddenly I remembered how coldly I had treated Dawson. I stood up.

“Mother, I must go apologize to someone else,” I said. She nodded and stood up.

“And I must be getting back to the ball. Your father has excused you for the rest of the evening, so do not feel like you must return if you do not wish too.”

“Thank you, mother,” I said with a smile. She smiled back then walked out of my room, closing the door behind her. I walked over to my closet and pulled out a simple dress, one that didn't have a corset in the back. I slipped out of my dress and loosened the corset underneath, then pulled the other dress over my head and slipped on a pair of pink shoes to match the dress. I neatly placed the elegant dress on the top of my paper screen I changed behind every morning and put the shoes at the bottom. I gathered my dress in my hand and walked out the door in search for Dawson-



Jenny leaned back into her pillow and looked out the window beside her bed.

“This story is boring, and Lydia is just like all the other girly princesses,” she whined.

“But I’m not finished with the story yet,” I told her. She looked back at me.

“I still don’t like Lydia,” she said simply.

“Why not?”

“She’s wimpy like all the other princesses, and she’s so…not independent.” Jenny tried to clarify.

“But she’s brave, and she’s strong. She has to marry someone she doesn’t love, but not once does she let anyone know, but her mother and Cassie. She doesn’t complain, and she doesn’t run from her responsibilities. She’s unselfish, and she tries to do what’s right.” Jenny thought on that for a moment.

“I guess so, but I still don’t like her. I want her to be more independent. I want her to do what she wants, not what the King wants.”

“How do you know you don’t like her? She may change.” Jenny looked at me hopefully.

“Does she?”

I smiled that I had her interest again. “You’ll have to listen and find out.”

Jenny straightened up, her brown eyes shining.



I passed Cassie carrying a load of fresh towels as I walked down the hallway. I turned and called to her.

“Cassie!” She stopped and turned around.

“Yes, princess?”

“Have you seen Dawson? Or is he still at the ball?” I hoped he had retired to his room early, because if he was still at the ball I would have to wait until morning.

“Yes, I saw him heading towards his living quarter’s about 10 minutes ago,” Cassie walked closer and lowered her voice a little. “Between me and you, he looked upset, so I would wait until tomorrow to address him about something.” My heart sank at her words. The last thing I wanted to do was upset him, even though my actions spoke otherwise. I was angry and conflicted at the time and I hadn’t meant a word of it. I bit my lip and reached up and grabbed a strand of hair, twirling it around my finger. It felt slightly greasy to the touch, I would have to wash it soon.

“Thank you, Cassie, but this is urgent and I must see him immediately,” I told her. She nodded, then curtsied as she turned and walked away.

“And Cassie?” She turned around again. “Could you have a pitcher of water in my room when I return? I need to wash my hair.” She nodded.

“Of course, princess. Let me know if you need help with that when you return.”

“I will Cassie, thank you,” I said. I smiled as she turned around and continued about her business.

When I reached Dawson’s room I paused at the door, not sure what I should say to him. I raised my hand to knock when the door opened. I jumped back, startled as my hand flew to my chest. Dawson appeared a little startled too, but regained composure quicker than me.

“Oh, princess, I am sorry I startled you,” Dawson apologized when he saw my expression. I shook my head.

“It is quite alright,” I told him, still trying to calm my rapidly beating heart, but it was hard. Not because of the door opening so suddenly, but because of Dawson himself. His calming blue eyes shone with concern. Long locks of black hair framed his face, curled at the end when they reached his chin where some stubble was growing. He was wearing a loose fitting shirt and black pants instead of his usual court jester costume.

“I came to apologize about what I said in the ballroom, Dawson. I should not have behaved like that, it was unbecoming of a princess, and I am deeply sorry, please forgive me.” It was against the law for a woman to disrespect any man, no matter his position or social standing, and I was lucky Dawson did not tell the King. My father would not have stood me disrespecting two men in the same day, and it was only the pressure on me that he let my offense against Sir William slide. Dawson gave me a gentle smile.

“It is alright, princess. I know you are on edge about the new gentlemen here and about getting married, it is understandable. I forgive you.”

“I am glad.” I curtsied and he bowed then I turned around and went back to my room. There on the ground next to my paper screen was a large pitcher of water next to a basin set up on a table. I poured some water into the basin and dipped my hands in it, then brought them up to my face. Having the cool feeling against my warm cheeks relaxed my mind a little.

All these emotions bubbled up inside of me. I knew what I had to do, but what my heart told me to do was another story. I knew I couldn't always trust my heart because it was easily deceived, but I knew my heart was right about this, yet I had to ignore it to do my duty. It would be easier if Dawson didn't give me false hopes, even though he did not know about them and it was not his intention. I'm sure if he knew what he did to me, he would not have done it. If only he knew how I felt about him, and this whole marriage set-up. Dawson was all I wanted, and I would give anything just to chose him and not be forced into a marriage where there was no love.