Aurora Borealis

Throughout his seventeen years of life, Logan Mitchell had always been at a lost for words, born with a trembling tongue, cobwebs forever spun in the back of his throat as he struggled to find the right syllables to capture his ever-racing thoughts. It was an existence sprinkled with stuttered words and flooded with awkward silences, and though it had taken a while, he had finally found the one person who gave him the courage to speak out.

At first glance, he would’ve appeared completely effortless, stretched out on his back with his arms folded behind his head, but on the inside, he was nothing more than a bundle of nerves. She was usually the one cure to his anxiety, but tonight, instead of making his worries melt away and his tense muscles loosen, Kandi introduced an entirely new form of nervousness. Unlike his usual thumb-fidgeting, toe-tapping, make-it-go-away response, this was more of an anticipation than a dread, and despite the fact that Logan couldn’t have been more sure of his decision, the warmth of her body against his caused his resolve to waver.

He couldn’t shake the nagging mantra from the back of his mind: I should’ve ran it by the guys first, I should’ve ran it by the guys first. Because, even though they were never spot-on with their relationship advice, Logan would’ve felt more confident with the support of his three best friends. But there was something about this occasion that steered him away from seeking their guidance. Maybe it was the fear of being shot-down by his friends or even worse, having them laugh at him, but a part of him felt that if he would’ve talked this over with one of the guys, it would have made the act seem premeditated, would’ve robbed this moment of its spontaneity.

Because there were so few instances in Logan’s life when he could allow himself to live completely in the moment, he wasn’t going to let this one go to waste.

A hand strayed from beneath tufts of espresso locks and dipped into the pocket of his khaki shorts, feeling around for the monumental object in hopes that it would reassure him, but the tiny silver ring only made his pulse pound more frantically in his chest. The silence in the air between them seemed to amplify the watery hammering, and he watched as her fingers stopped tracing the needlework on the quilt spread beneath their two bodies. Instead, her hand fluttered upwards to his chest, gently stroking his sternum as her nose nestled into the crook of his neck.

Though his other arm wove around her shoulders instinctively, pulling her body closer to his own, his thoughts remained restless. It was then that he took a deep breath, letting his lungs fill to the brim with air as eyes the color of coffee grounds gazed up at the night sky. Being reminded of how insignificant his worries and insecurities were in the grand scheme of things, how he himself was just a speck amidst the galaxies that stretched out above, was enough for him to regain his courage, to remember why he was here and what he was doing.

It was something so reckless, so impulsive, and so not Logan, but somehow, it just felt right.

Indecisiveness had always been one of his flaws, but there was one thing he couldn’t have been more certain of: he wanted this forever. Logan would have been perfectly content spending the rest of his life up there on the rooftop of their apartment building, listening to the lull of the Los Angeles traffic on the streets below and cradled in the heat that radiated from his girlfriend’s body as she curled up beside him.

Three hundred and thirty nights spent up on this roof, staring up at an indigo sky set aglow with hints of tangerine as the smog trapped the city lights below. If the two pairs of young brown eyes really focused, they could make out the stars, glittering like diamonds strewn across the endless blue.

They’d made a makeshift getaway for themselves, up above the teeming city, away from its chaos and fabricated drama that bore its weight across their shoulders. A pallet made from quilts and feather down pillows was all they really needed to make the concrete feel like home. The silhouette of a telescope Logan’s mom had given him the Christmas before loomed in the corner, a reminder of summer nights spent trying to decipher the constellations.

Logan’s thumb ran across the metal band nestled deep inside his pocket, feeling along the inside as he let the inscription roll beneath his skin. Now & Forever the engraving read, and though the words were simple, they carried an unspoken depth because they were genuine, because he did want to spend forever with her.

“Kandi,” he began, and she looked up at him. Even though he’d rehearsed the words he would say repeatedly in his head, they all seemed to slip from his grasp in that moment. “I know that this is a little…unexpected, but…Listen K, you know how much I care about you, and I just-I just....I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Aw Logan, I feel the same way,” she murmured, letting her palm trail down his chest and over his stomach before she squeezed him.

Logan pulled the ring from his pocket in a jerky motion, the silver catching the light as he held it low enough for her to see.

“Kandi, will you marry me?”

As soon as the proposal left his lips, he could feel her chest tighten against him, her breath hitching in her throat. For once, Logan recognized his own expression mirrored across her features: she was speechless.

She avoided his stare, turned away from the ring in the line of vision, instead choosing to examine her fingers as she spoke. “Logan, you know I love you more than anything else in this world, and there’s no one else I could imagine myself spending the rest of my life with, but I can’t marry you right now. We’re just too young.”

As her reasoning began to sink in, Logan offered her a faint smile as he ran his hand through her long chestnut waves. “I know.”

“But…” she began, her voice growing more steady with each syllable, “this ring is perfect and so beautiful." Kandi paused, letting her fingers trace the loops of the infinity sign that served as the centerpiece. Logan thought the simple figure suited her much better than any stone. “Maybe it could be a promise ring instead? We could be engaged to be engaged?”

He chuckled softly at her suggestion before nodding slowly. “Sounds great.”

She offered him her hand in the dark, staring intently as he eased the ring onto the appropriate finger. Afterwards, he brushed her bangs from her face, planting a gentle kiss on her forehead before letting his gaze wander back to the sky above.

There wasn't anyone else in the world that he'd rather be engaged to be engaged to.