My Web Show

(The video starts with news anchor, Anchor woman.)
Anchor- Good evening, my name is Anchor woman, and we have some breaking and somewhat shocking news at of Utah today. Olivia, one half of the popular “Two obsessed fangirls” has gained three pounds. Here with more is celebrotologist, Ms. Ashley Noselfesteem.
(Ashley comes onscreen. Underneath her, a news scroll starts with way more interesting stories.)
Ashley- Thank you so much for having me.
Anchor- Now Ashley, the name 'noselfesteem' is that Italian?
Ashley- (Looks around) No, it's french. What about you name? Anchor Woman, it's European right?
Anchor- Nope actually, it's made up.
Ashley- Ohmigosh mine too! I just said it was French to fit in!
Anchor- So, what exactly are your sources saying about the cause of Olivia's weight gain?
Ashley- (Laughs) Anchor woman, you're hilarious. Haha, sources, who needs those? (Straight and serious face) But it's an absolute fact, that Olivia gained these three pounds after going on a food binge after a bout of depression caused by a recent outing of Seth Meyers and his girlfriend Alexi Ashe, which Olivia is insanely in love with. Proof with this video here.
(Olivia jumping around screaming “I'm in love with Seth Meyers! I'm in love with Seth Meyers!)
Ashley- And here is a picture of Olivia on her 'Ben&Jerry's' food binge.
(A picture of Olivia pops up with her face all chocolate smeared and her hair is a mess.)
Anchor- That is shocking. Now tell me, what is Emma, the other half of 'The Two obsessed Fangirls” planning on doing to save Olivia?
Ashley- (Laughs) Emma is so short she doesn't even know what's going on. Oh! That reminds me my (Air quoting gesture) 'Sources' say that Emma is in the market for a leg lengthening surgery.
Anchor- (Gasps) This is shocking. It looks like these two girls are spiraling out of control. This is a real life tragedy, I know a lot of people look up to these girls.
(Static.)

(Emma and Olivia appear on the screen.)
Olivia- For Serious news? You put this as your top story? Underneath it the news scroll said that gay marriage was legalized in all fifty states? You didn't think that that might be more interesting?
Emma- Liv, I'm beginning to think that that news scroll was a fake, cause after that it said “Netflix has managed to go a week without upsetting their customers” which we all know, at this point, is impossible. We have way better chances of marriage equality than that.
Olivia- Seriously!? Now we got you news! Cause first off, I didn't gain three pounds, I gained twelve. And I didn't gain it on a Ben& Jerry's binge. It was probably from the six doughnuts, and two pies I ate afterward.
Emma- Not to mention the three cheeseburgers and 64 ounces of Dr. Pepper you drank after that.
Olivia- Shut up, I was super depressed. The point is, I don't care how much I weigh. For serious.
Emma- Yea, if she did, her favorite item off the “Carl's Jr.” menu wouldn't be “Heart Attack surprise” she wouldn't be eating there at all, I mean seriously.
Olivia- You know, the 'Heart Attack surprise” isn't really that much of a surprise if you think about it.
Emma- But Seriously news? Olivia might be lazy, but you guys act like congress, you're only nice to each other when it's convenient for you. But if they go against the norm and, hmm buddy, expect a scandal in the next few weeks.
Olivia- (Gasps) Ohmigosh, I really hope they don't find those threatening letters I wrote to Seth's girlfriend. Now, that's a scandal.
Emma- Don't worry girl I got your back, I burned them in the dead of the night.
Olivia- (Looks relieved.) Oh that's good. But while we're on the subject of Ms. Noselfesteem, let's talk about her obsession with Emma's shortness.
Emma- Of course I'm getting my legs lengthened.. It's called a good pair of heels, I mean really!
Olivia- But what's the matter? You jealous that Emma is one of the last people to know when it rains? I mean really!
Emma- Or are you jealous that one time I got pulled over by the cops cause they thought a twelve year old was driving on the interstate.
Olivia- That seriously happened. And the cops seriously wanted to arrested me cause I was in the car.
Emma- The point is, Olivia is a porker whose desperately and psychotically in love with Seth Meyers.
Olivia- Hey, I'm not psychotic.
Emma- (Stares at Olivia) Seriously? If you're not psychotically in love with Seth. Why do you have a bracelet that says “Seth and Olivia” with a bunch of heart beads on it. Or what about the time you tweeted him over two hundred times in one day.
Olivia- Well, what you call obsessed. I call, well, stalking... But Emma here, is so short she's two inches away from having to use a booster seat.
Emma- (Thinks hard) Well, that one can't be disputed... But we like ourselves! Seriously!
Olivia- Yea! I might not look like Kate Moss. But can she balance a carton of “Ben&Jerry's” ice cream one her stomach? I think not! I mean really!
Emma- Seriously! I might be fun sized and not super model size, but I can wear child's clothing without being anorexic. Can you honestly say you can do that Ms. Noselfesteem? I know when I meet my prince, he's going to love me for me. Besides, he'll most likely be seven feet tall and therefore tall enough for the both of us.
Olivia- And I know when I meet Seth Meyers, he'll love me for my chubbiness. After all, I am an excellent coffee cup holder.
Emma- Seriously, she is.
Olivia- One last thing, to Ms. Noselfesteem, and all those other people out there constantly scrutinizing our weight, and other flaws. You can make fun of us all you want. But if I hear another word about how Demi Lovato is gaining weight, I am going to flip out like I would if Seth Meyers ever married someone other than me. The girl just got out of treatment for an eating disorder, and she is definitely prettier, and more awesome than anyone in the business.
Emma- Even more awesome than Seth Meyers?
Olivia- The prettiest, and most awesome FEMALE entertainer.
Emma- Get a life news media! I mean Seriously!!
Olivia- Come on!
(This has been 'For serious?” with Olivia and Emma.)