Status: Updates every four days.
We Way? Three Way!
Starting Over
It was cold. So cold. I mumbled angrily to myself about this as I walked softly across the wooden floor of my room to see if I could share with someone else because it was so freakin’ freezing. Jill’s bed was full, Franks’ bed appeared to be full, Ray locked his door, and Mikey and Gerard were still awake, playing some RPG. That left Bob.
“Mommy, I need to share with you because I’m cold and Cupcake keeps complaining.” I explained, shoving him slightly to make more room for myself.
“…okay, why not anyone else?”
“Because I like you. Now shush so Becca can sleep because if she doesn’t there’s going to be a whole lot of chaos.” He nodded, before pulling out a magical contraption that turned it into two beds! I’d seen them before, but not in the house. Right before I lost total awareness, I heard Bob moving, then a click.
“Day SZ45. I think I may’ve just been chosen to bond with Becca. This parenting thing may not be so bad after all.” I rolled my eyes internally and turned to my other side. There was a weird air of bugging all around. Somebody must’ve been dreaming. This wouldn’t have bothered me, if I had been that dreamer. Shoving Cupcake in Bob’s general direction, I stalked off to find myself a late night snack. Food helped me think. And it was yummy. Pulling out a box of cereal and sitting cross legged on the floor, I started letting my mind drift. How had I gotten here? Not here, exactly, but anywhere? I had to be born, and I had to have had parents, right? Were they drunk college kids? Was I a mistake? Were they European royalty, having to ship off a beloved child for safety? Were they living? Were they dead? Did they remember me? Why couldn’t I remember them? I can picture clearly the day I got dropped off. Bright sun. Calm words. A purple backpack and a stuffed unicorn. The sky turned cloudy. The calm words turned to arguments with the people running it. I was left behind, watching a black car race carelessly down the road and around the corner. Then I was taken inside, hardly ever coming out again. It was hard to deal with. I couldn’t picture a face. I could only remember he existed.
There was pain.
“Daddy! Look at me! Look at how high I am! Catch me, Daddy!”
There was sadness.
“She was found alone on the playground holding her wrist. It’s not broken, but it was a pretty bad sprain. She keeps asking for her father, but we can’t seem to find anyone.”
There was longing.
“Where’s my Daddy?”
“Just stay here, sweetheart, soon you’ll get a new Daddy and maybe a new Mommy too.”
“I want to go home.”
“This is home, now.”
Years passed and I denied having ever remembered anything. I was born an orphan, and I was pretty sure I’d die one, too. It was easier to just start over.
“Becca, you know sugary food right before bed gives you trippy dreams.” Mikey interrupted.
“I know, I was just finishing up, I was going to head back up to my room. Can I get an extra blanket, though? It’s too cold.”
“Yeah, I’ll go get one for you.”
Starting over let love in. It was just so much better.
“Mommy, I need to share with you because I’m cold and Cupcake keeps complaining.” I explained, shoving him slightly to make more room for myself.
“…okay, why not anyone else?”
“Because I like you. Now shush so Becca can sleep because if she doesn’t there’s going to be a whole lot of chaos.” He nodded, before pulling out a magical contraption that turned it into two beds! I’d seen them before, but not in the house. Right before I lost total awareness, I heard Bob moving, then a click.
“Day SZ45. I think I may’ve just been chosen to bond with Becca. This parenting thing may not be so bad after all.” I rolled my eyes internally and turned to my other side. There was a weird air of bugging all around. Somebody must’ve been dreaming. This wouldn’t have bothered me, if I had been that dreamer. Shoving Cupcake in Bob’s general direction, I stalked off to find myself a late night snack. Food helped me think. And it was yummy. Pulling out a box of cereal and sitting cross legged on the floor, I started letting my mind drift. How had I gotten here? Not here, exactly, but anywhere? I had to be born, and I had to have had parents, right? Were they drunk college kids? Was I a mistake? Were they European royalty, having to ship off a beloved child for safety? Were they living? Were they dead? Did they remember me? Why couldn’t I remember them? I can picture clearly the day I got dropped off. Bright sun. Calm words. A purple backpack and a stuffed unicorn. The sky turned cloudy. The calm words turned to arguments with the people running it. I was left behind, watching a black car race carelessly down the road and around the corner. Then I was taken inside, hardly ever coming out again. It was hard to deal with. I couldn’t picture a face. I could only remember he existed.
There was pain.
“Daddy! Look at me! Look at how high I am! Catch me, Daddy!”
There was sadness.
“She was found alone on the playground holding her wrist. It’s not broken, but it was a pretty bad sprain. She keeps asking for her father, but we can’t seem to find anyone.”
There was longing.
“Where’s my Daddy?”
“Just stay here, sweetheart, soon you’ll get a new Daddy and maybe a new Mommy too.”
“I want to go home.”
“This is home, now.”
Years passed and I denied having ever remembered anything. I was born an orphan, and I was pretty sure I’d die one, too. It was easier to just start over.
“Becca, you know sugary food right before bed gives you trippy dreams.” Mikey interrupted.
“I know, I was just finishing up, I was going to head back up to my room. Can I get an extra blanket, though? It’s too cold.”
“Yeah, I’ll go get one for you.”
Starting over let love in. It was just so much better.