The Key to My Heart

"Come on Zacky baby I love you and you know it.” Brian pleaded with his boyfriend. They had been over this countless times but Zack couldn’t get it through his brain that Brian did in fact love him.

“Then why can’t you tell your parents Brian? All I ask is that I be able to spend the holidays with you and not separated like we’re not even a fucking couple.” Zack yelled through the tour bus, arms flailing in the air.

“It’s hard for me Zack; you grew up knowing your parents were okay with your sexuality. I grew up watching football with my dad and playing sports with Matt in high school, he thinks because of my masculinity that I am into women.” Brian retorted, maybe that was a mistake. “Zee baby I didn’t mean to make it sound like that.”

“I get it; I fucking get it Brian you don’t want to look like a fag to your family. I’m a guy who would go to hell and come back for you and you don’t want me to wreck that perfect image that your parents have of you but, I’m so fucking queer that it’s okay for my family to look down on me for my sexuality and loving a fucking man. That’s okay, fuck you too.” Zack spat as he walked from the bunk area to the small bathroom located in the middle of the bus.

Many nights Brian and Zack fought about this same situation, normally it’s about them not being able to live together because Brian’s family would object. Zack wanted to say fuck it, if Brian isn’t ready to be with him he will find someone who is more mature, but then he stops and thinks about all of the time they spent together. How much they love each other and that Brian has been through a lot for him. They normally cool down, make up and have sex but Brian could feel this time was different.

Tears slipped down Zack’s face as he showered and packed an over night bag. They would be at the hotel soon and he could just rent his own room for the night. Fuck Brian. Zack stepped from the shower, dried and dressed just before they pulled up to the hotel they would get the luxury of staying in tonight.

Brian was surprised to see that Zack wasn’t heading towards their room but in a way he was expecting it. A pang jolted through his chest but Jimmy soon came to his side. “I guess you and I are rooming tonight Gates.”

“Where’s he going?” Brian wondered out loud.

“He’s staying in his own room tonight, leaving me to bunk with you for the afternoon. As soon as we get home from this tour I want to hang out in our spot together as a band one more time you know?” Jimmy wrapped his arm around the guitarists shoulder as they staggered into their hotel room.

“Yeah, we don’t seam to spend much time together anymore.” Brian mused while digging through his bag to find a pair of pants to wear for the show that night.

They played their hearts out just as always; they sweat and gave all of their attention as well as focus to their instrument. Afterwards they all went out for a round of drinks and in Jimmy’s case something a bit more illegal. Brian saw a familiar hurt look pass over Johnny’s face when his boyfriend stood and excused himself from the table. But the bassist put a fake smile on for his friends and ordered another round. They all went back to the hotel a little fucked up that night.

Even through his drunken state Brian felt a pang in his chest, tears welled up and slipped down his face. He missed having Zacky in the bed right next to him, cuddling into his side. He missed that warmth; the stubborn ass just couldn’t forgive him this time could he? Right then Brian made his decision and if Zack didn’t like it or kept pushing him away he could go fuck himself.

For weeks every time Brian tried to talk to Zack the shorter man would just brush him off and walk away, his hazel eyes shining with tears but he hid them well. Each time Brian would have to collect himself and just attempt to play a good show that night, he was always distracted now days. He often had to remind himself that this was Zack his little Zacky Vengeance. The boy he and Jimmy use to taunt in high school that same boy who had asked him to his senior prom. Brian closed his eyes, blocking everything out on stage as he played.

“Hey Brian I had a question.” A small and slightly pudgy Zack fiddled with his fingers talking to the enemy wasn’t his strong point.

“What do you want twerp?” Brian mused, this kid had to be fucking nuts to come up and talk to him. Then a thought ran through Brian’s head, ‘Jimmy’s not around maybe that’s why he had the balls to come up to me.’

Brian had never been one to bully anyone until he met Jimmy but even then it was rare that he would taunt anyone, he surely didn’t get physical with the kids like his best friend Matt Sanders.

“I was wondering if you were going to the prom.” Zack’s words came out in a rush but Brian caught on to the gist of what he was saying.

“Yeah, why?” Brian had a feeling of what was coming next but he was surprised as to why? Why would this kid, the one he had tormented since high school started would be asking him to prom? Brian had been open to all of his friends but his school mates tended to tease him too until he joined forces with Jimmy Sullivan and Matt Sanders.

“Never mind,” The Baker kid looked like he was about to piss himself, he had turned around to leave but Brian grabbed his bicep. Zack winced as he was turned around, expecting to be hit.

“What were you going to ask kid?” Brian spoke softly, Zack peeped one eye open and then the other. The action made Brian smile, something the shorter man had never seen before. Brian Haner doesn’t ever smile for anyone or anything.

“Will you go to prom with me?” Zack’s words were rushed and he was quite surprised when he saw the others smile get larger.

“Yes I will go to prom with you.”

Brian was broken from his thoughts as the music ended, there was one more song left and he knew he would have to do this and fast. He walked over to Matt, his palms sweating as he whispered his idea to the singer. Matt nodded and walked over to Johnny and spoke softly then to Jimmy. Zack was surprised when he was skipped over and Matt walked back over to Brian. The lead guitarist handed over his guitar and Matt wrapped the strap around himself. He nodded his head for the other two and began playing a tune that Zack wasn’t familiar with.

Zack stood in place, really confused as Brian grabbed the nearest mic and stepped up to him. “The one place I knew you couldn’t run, I had to take the chance.” Brian spoke softly into the mic. Zack went to open his mouth but Brian silenced him with a finger against his lips. “I’m tired of hiding, I look around me and see so many happy people and then I realize that I am far from it. With out you by my side every show isn’t as good and each night I spend alone I find myself even more miserable. I miss having you beside me as my best friend and lover. I can’t believe I am doing this on national television with my parents currently watching but I need to get this out. I am in no way ashamed of being with you Zachary but I was ashamed of myself for not living up to everyone else’s standards. But fuck em’ I love you and I don’t want to loose you because they can’t deal with who I want spend my life with.” Brian dropped to his knees. “This is me begging you right now to forgive my stubborn and bigheadedness because I can’t live without you anymore.” Brian slowly raised some so he was on one knee; he pulled a little purple velvet box from his pocket and produced the most beautiful diamond ring any of their band members had ever seen. “Will you marry me?”

Tears began running down Zack’s cheeks as he looked into Brian’s brown orbs. The man he loved was confessing his feelings for him in front of the world and had just proposed, the emotions began taking over. Nodding his head Zack spoke a quiet yes away from the mic but everyone could guess his answer when Brian lifted up and wrapped his arms around his now fiancé, brining their lips together.

Matt had made his way towards them after giving an aww into the mic nearest himself along with all the fans. Johnny and Jimmy had been open with the fans from day one and they had only lost a few fans from it. Matt grabbed the mic in Brian’s hand as he and Zack had pulled away. “So I don’t think everyone could hear your answer Zack, would you care to enlighten us?”

“Fuck yes!” Zack yelled into the mic as Brian took his guitar back. The final song of the tour went as smooth as could be, both couples in the band beaming happily with Matt going along for the ride.

As soon as the show ended, instead of going out for drinks the band drug Zack back to the bus; much to Zack’s protests of wanting to celebrate. “Don’t worry Zack we will be celebrating.”

“How can we do that with out booze?” Zack whined from under Brian’s arm.

“Do you really not know what today is Zee?” Brian pondered as they climbed the bus stairs.

“No, though I should probably learn it for memories of the days events.” Zack made a mental check to remember the days date when ever he finds it out.

“How can you not remember today?” Jimmy protested being the first into the main sitting room in the bus.

“Jim hit the lights will ya?” Zack asked, nearly tripping over something on the dirty floor; when his friend did just that Zack gasped in shock. A large ‘Happy birthday’ banner hung from the roof and his friends all yelled happy birthday.

“Okay so normally we have diner then cake but I am so fucking hyped up right now I say we just skip to the cake first and then go have diner.” Matt clapped his hands with a big dimpled smile.

All of his band members agreed to that plan and they lit the candles on the cake. Zack had to make his birthday wish before they all got to dig in. Half way through Jimmy brought in a box full of wrapped gifts. He placed them on the floor near Zacky; the man immediately dug through them and spread them out on the floor. Jimmy instructed him on which ones he could open first.

“Since you got the best present first you have to open the less major ones first.” Jimmy stated handing him a few packages. Zack had opened a few Cd’s from the crew and roadies. He got a few gift cards and a new magazine subscription to his favorite guitar magazine, the one he held in his hands was the most recent of him and Brian standing side by side. Zack got a new guitar from one of his band members and other random artifacts from his best friends. At the end of the night Brian and Zack made their way to the final hotel of the tour.

Brian stood behind Zack, covering his fiancés eyes as they made their way into the hotel room. Brian flipped the lights on with his elbow. “Why are my eyes covered Bri?”

“Because I have a few more surprises for you.” Brian mumbled into his lovers ear, Zack smiled and brought himself back so his back was to his fiancés chest.
Brian uncovered Zack’s eyes the rhythms eyes nearly bulged out when he saw the site in front of him. On the bed their lay a few different sex toys and a bottle of lube, the nightstand held a few porno, one was a home movie of them. Candles lit the room and there was a nicely laid out diner waiting for their arrival. Brian would have to thank his band for this later. “Wait a second; Brian is that what I think it is?”

“Is what, what you think it is baby?” Brian purred in the shorter mans ear.

“Is that a fucking chocolate fountain?” Zack nearly squealed pealing himself out of Brian’s embrace, if he’d have know his lover would have that kind of reaction Brian could have bought one earlier.

“It is. I figured after diner you and I could have a nice chocolate coated desert and then maybe you could show me what I have been missing out on all these years.” Brian said quietly as he walked back up behind Zack.

“Seriously?” Zack stated, Brian could tell the other man was excited. He nodded before bringing his lips to his best friend and lfve mates.

“Yes. But I have one more surprise.” Brian pulled away from Zack, reaching into his back pocket he pulled out another small box. He could tell Zack was shocked that there would be yet another surprise for him. When he opened the box Zack was a bit confused as to why there was a key that looked like it belonged in a mystic move from years ago. It was a replica of an Alice in Wonderland key, made purely of gold.

“What is this to Brian?” Zack wondered, his eyes slightly bulged when he saw Brian begin removing his shirt.

“Know I will always love you Zack.” Brian whispered as he was at the last button.

“I love you too,” Zack’s breath caught in his lungs when he saw the new tattoo Brian had gotten. It was a pretty complex looking heart resting almost over his own, the shading was dark and romantic looking with a lot of detail, it had a key hole in the middle that looked just like the key he had given Zacky. Just above the heart were their names in one of those cliché banners.

“I just gave you the key to my heart baby. Don’t loose it.”