Let Go

I stared at the pieces of flesh falling from under my nails through empty blank eyes.
The only pieces of you I had left were shedding onto the dirty unclean ground of the street.

The last of what I've adored is merging with the murky soil, losing it's purity with every whiff of the blazing summer wind.

I've been clawing to you all of my life, refusing to let go.
But at the end, I had to.
And we both know it.

You kept pulling away and I kept pulling you back.
But you got free.

You got what you wanted.

You've lost some bits of yourself but it was in exchange of abandoning the hell you had with me ..
And when you succeeded, you never returned.

And I've been standing like this ever since, gazing at the dry crusting brown thick liquid covering my fingertips, while my flaking knees rested on the scorching heat of the pavement. Staring at the unknown.

I hugged myself spilling dry tears of what I hoped was my liquefied ignorance, thinking I want you back.
I lifted my exhausted eyes to meet the sight of a setting sun, it's colors soothing my blurry eye sight.

Into another day of hoping ...
And another day of hoping ..
I gathered my things and stoop up, slowing down to give a chance to my aching knee joints to catch up with the movements of my body.

And to another 20 years of searching ...
And hoping ..