Love is a Laserquest

He sat down opposite me in the booth and smiled weakly. His blonde hair drew my eyes upwards. It had grown so long since the last time I saw him. I kind of liked it in all it's unruliness.

“I was kind of surprised that you finally decided to text me. I knew you lived in the area so I've been wanting to meet up for a while, but I didn't want to try until I knew you were ready.” he admitted.

I was so caught off guard that he was sitting in front of me that the words floating around in my head couldn't find their way out. I was still so furious and embarrassed by his indirect rejection, a part of me wanted to run away from him again. On the other hand though, spending months missing him made his current presence in front of me a much needed relief.

“I didn't actually-wait, how did you know I lived in the area?” I asked him confused.

“Well your mom told my mom who told me, so...” he said carefully not knowing if his words would set me off.

“Jesus, mom.”

“Well, um, the thing is, I didn't actually text you.” I told Kris.

“Oh, okay then.” he said looking dejected and bewildered.

“Sara stole my phone and texted you while pretending to be me. Then told me to meet her here for lunch. So we both were tricked.” I explained.

“Ah, well,” He looked around the room awkwardly. “I guess I'll take off then.”

“No, come on,” I told him as he began to slide out of the booth. “Stay. It's, uh, kind of good to see you.” I said grimacing a little, not knowing how my words had come out.

“It's kind of good to see you too,” he replied relaxing a little and smiling. “So, how have you been?”

“Pretty good. I live with Sara and write freelance for a local music blog.”

“Yeah, yeah, I read your articles.” he said nodding with acknowledgment.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Well, again, your mom told my mom who told me, so I read your stuff.”

“That woman can't keep her mouth shut for anything.”

“Ah, okay. So, how are you? How's your new team?”

Our clearly agitated waiter came around then to take our orders. Kris ordered a well done burger and fries with a water and I ordered chicken and fries with a coke. When he walked away, Kris put his elbow on the table and leaned his face against the palm of his hand.

“I don't know,” he sighed. “I like it. But I also liked Philadelphia, Toronto, and Chicago. I just hope I get to stick around for a while here. All this moving gets annoying.”

“Yeah, I understand.” My heart pounded as I struggled to think of a decent follow up question. I didn't really want to know anything else except the status of him and Cassidy though. “So, how's...you know.”

“Cassidy? I don't know. We split up two weeks after Valentine's Day.” I suppressed the urge to smile at this information.

“Look concerned and distressed, Alexandria.”

“That's too bad. I hope it wasn't because of me.” I knew deep down inside that it was and that didn't bother me one bit.

“Well I just wasn't in a place where I wanted to be in a relationship with anyone. Well almost anyone.” He said raising his eyebrows and looking away. “What about you? You seeing anyone these days?”

“Shit. Go for the lie.”

“Yeah, actually.” I looked down and began chewing on the inside of my lip nervously.

“Really?” He perked up shocked. I guess he envisioned us reconnecting as two single people who could start over and possibly explore where we never thought our friendship would go. He looked pretty unpleasantly surprised to find that he was wrong.

“Mmhm,” I confirmed nodding.
“What's his name?”
“Eric.”

Kris nodded with understanding, but then his face changed into a ponderous expression. “How did you meet him?”

“Shit. He remembers Eric.”

“He works with Sara at the Herald as a photographer.” I lied instantly regretting it.

“Why didn't I just tell the truth? Shit!”

“Oh,” His face relaxed. “So, are you happy?”

“Not particularly. I just stuck with him to try to cover up the gaping wound that formed inside of me after I lost you.”

“Yeah,” I smiled sheepishly, lying again, wishing that saying how I really felt were easier and didn't have so many consequences.

“Well, that's all that matters then.” He smiled back with a wink. I didn't doubt that he meant that, but I wondered what his internal monologue was actually saying.

We sat in silence for a moment. If I hadn't ordered food, I probably would've just said I had a lot of work to do and I had to get going. I wasn't good with feelings and awkward meetings after long periods of time. The anxiety building up inside of me sitting there felt like it would kill me.

Kris cleared his throat and spoke. “You know, I tried to tell you this many times, as I'm sure you know, but I really am sorry for everything that happened. Even though we haven't spoken in months, you're still my best friend, Lex, and I love you no matter what. After we leave here today, you could avoid me for another couple of years and I'll still feel the same way about you.”

I wanted to cry but I had to keep it together. “I didn't want things to happen the way they did and I probably handled the whole situation in a very shitty way. I'm sorry. I was just so angry, you know, and hurt. I still love you as my best friend and...well...some other feelings don't go away so easily.” I half heartedly chuckled.

Kris opened his mouth like he was going to say something before our waiter came over and interrupted our conversation to bring us our drinks. We didn't return to the topic any further, instead we decided to focus on discussing our new lives in south Florida and catching up on news concerning our friends and family back home in Canada.

Things felt like they were slowly going back to normal. Maybe Sara knew what she was doing after all.