I Woke Up in a Car

Hospitals. I hated them. I didn't want to set foot in one, not since my dad died. And yet, here I am, in the same hospital, just floors and doors from where doctors tried to save my dad. Instead of the emergency ward, here I am, in Oncology. My mother was here getting treatment. I had brought flowers, but, I wasn't sure they'd be allowed. I had heard that the treatments she was doing had caused her to lose some of her hair due to the radiation treatment and she also slept a lot.

Eric and I washed our hands and put on a mask as we entered the room. The nurses assured us that her level of radiation would be fine as long as no one was pregnant entered the room. Ha, me, pregnant? That would be the immaculate conception. She was fast asleep, curled up in the hospital bed, a bandanna tied around her head so her long hair fell back. If you looked closely you could see the bald spot.

I moved to sit in the chair near her, Eric taking the one next to it, by my side. “Momma?” I whispered looking at her as she lay still in the bed. “Mom--” my voice cracked as I blinked to fight off tears, “Mommy it's me. It's your little girl.” I whispered, gently moving to hold her hand in mine, stroking her dry, flaking skin gently.

Eric put a hand on my shoulder as comfortingly as he could, but, I was still upset. Mom's were superheroes who didn't get sick. They had all kinds of superpowers. “Keep talking.” Eric whispered in my ear, “She can hear you, even if she's asleep.” He encouraged.

I shook my head as I burst into tears, turning against him, my face burying into his shoulder. “What if she doesn't make it?” I sobbed as Eric's arms wrapped around me tightly.

Eric quietly rocked with me as he held me, kissing my forehead. “She'll make it Ari.” He said, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. “She's your mother. You're a strong woman and if you cam from her, imagine how strong she is Ari.” Eric spoke quietly, neither of us wanting to wake my mom, “The apple doesn't fall far from the tree Ari.”

A nurse came in to check my mom's vitals, check her drip, check her meds. She peeped over her chart and signed something. Eric and I pulled apart as I reached for the tissues next to the bed to wipe my eyes and my sniffle-y nose now. I looked at the nurse, biting my lip, “What are her chances?” I asked the nurse softly as she studied something.

The nurse paused, looked up at me and without even cracking a smile, “About 50-50 if the radiation can shrink the tumor, it might be operable. Otherwise it will be Chemo treatments. Right now we are trying to not only shrink the tumor but to keep it from spreading, or metastasizing to somewhere else in her body.”

I nodded, frowning a little as I looked at her, watching her in the bed. 50-50 was the best chance she had? Basically her life could come down to the same odds as flipping a coin? They didn't sound great but I supposed they were better than something like 20%.

The nurse watched me, staying silent until she walked to my mother's bedside, waking her, “Marie sweetheart, it's time for me to draw some blood.” the nurse said as my mother groggily rolled to lay back and wake up. She looked like me in the morning. Groggy, grumpy, everything but a morning person. The nurse tilted my mom's bed up more, “Marie, look, you've got visitors.” The nurse said motioning to Eric and myself as we sat.

My mother looked over at us and squinted, still obviously tired, “Wh-who?” He said, yawning and then looking at us again, “Ari?” She asked, “is that my little baby all growed up?” My mom asked, smiling as the nurse pricked her arm with the needle to draw the blood.

I nodded, smiling as what seemed like more tears came pouring out of the corners of my eyes, “Yeah, Yeah momma, it's me. I'm all growed up now. I got your letter.” I said, pulling out the crumpled letter that had been folded up in my jeans pocket.

My mom smiled at me, “I knew you would. I knew you'd come home. Even if you hated it here, I knew you'd come back, just for a visit.” My mom said, “We've missed you Ari. I've missed you.” She said, her voice weak and crackly. She reached out for her cup with a straw on a nearby tray. She sipped from it.

“I've missed you too momma. So much. I've been so many places and met so many wonderful people. I missed you like crazy though, none of them could hold a candle to you.” I said, laughing a little and smiling at the tears still fell. This wasn't exactly how I had imagined coming home and seeing my mother.

My mom smiled at me. She seemed to be waking up at bit more now, she moved so her bed was almost sitting upright, “Who is this handsome man you've brought with you?” My mom asked, looking at Eric.

I turned to see Eric smiling, perhaps blushing even under that beard, he looked at me. I smiled some, “Uh,” I sputtered.

My mom laughed as she watched me. I had a boyfriend once, when I was a freshman in High School, “He's no Sam Marcos then.” She teased me with a wink.

I buried my head in my hands as I shook my head, “He's better than Sammy momma.” I said with a wink, “This is my friend, and boss, Eric Jackson.” I finally spat out, though it sounded like I'd tried to say it all as one word as opposed the about eight words that it actually was.

My mom smiled, “Hello Eric, I am Marie. Obviously you met Ari.” She said to him. Always hospitable, “When can I expect grandbabies?” my mom asked, looking directly at me and then at Eric.

I was shocked, she was so forward. I knew her time was limited but damn, she was forward. “Uh, well, I have to find the boyfriend and preferably, husband, first mom.” I admitted a little as Eric laughed too. I elbowed Eric in the ribs for laughing a little, which, only made him laugh harder. “Jerk.” I muttered.

“You mean to tell me you aren't with this nice young man?” My mom asked as she turned to Eric, “I'll give you the brownstone and my Mercedes if you marry her and give me a grandbaby.” My mom said, sounding serious.

“Sold!” Eric responded enthusiastically. We were all laughing, My mom had just negotiated my dowry to Eric. I got sold for a house and a Mercedes. Well, on the bright-side, it wasn't booze (I'm sure Eric would've accepted that too).

Really, to be honest, it just felt good to be laughing about something, anything. To hear my mom's voice, to know she still had this... this sense of humor about her that she'd always had. She hadn't let her diagnosis change her and that, that was the best thing we all needed right now. She was still the superhero who masqueraded as a comedienne, house-keep, nurse, and best friend all rolled in to one. She was still the woman I remembered, only a lot stronger, a little sicker.

We spent a long time there though, we left as my mom began to get tired. She needed her rest. She'd be out and back to normal in another couple of days. It was just the radiation making her so run down that she took a couple recuperation days in the hospital. As we left to get back on the subway, Eric and I kept the talking down, there wasn't a whole lot to say.

I was thankful we were getting back to the hotel, yawning as I put my head on his shoulder, “I can't believe you bargained with my mother.” I said, tired and exhausted. I felt so drained emotionally from the last few days; Shock, surprise, guilt, hated, sadness, and just about every emotion under the sun. If you could name it, I'd felt it.

Eric laughed as he put an arm around me to guide me out of the elevator and to our room, “What, that house was quaint and I always wanted a Mercedes.” He teased right back at me, “Oh come on, what would you rather me have asked for?” Eric asked.

I shrugged a little as he got the door opened and we headed inside the hotel. Housekeeping had come and made our beds, tidied up the room, changed the garbage and cleaned up. “I don't know, You could have said a ferarri or something.” I said flopping on the bed.

Eric set his keys on the dresser and took off his watch. He took off his shirt as he looked at me. “I could have said 40 cows and a hundred sheep or something instead.” Eric laughed as he walked over towards me.

I sat up and, well, maybe I snorted just a little, “Oh because livestock is way better than a Ferrari. What are you going to become farmer Jackson and raise cows and sheep now?” I was smiling up at Eric. Eric was crazy if he thought I was worth some damn Sheep and a couple cows.

Eric shook his head, “Perhaps, and you could be my ranch hand.” Eric said with a slight wink as he undid his pants and took them off, folding them up and putting them in his bag.

I rolled my eyes as I got up from my bed and grabbed my own pajamas and headed into the bathroom to change. I came back out and Eric was waiting for me by the bed. “What?” I asked as I put my clothes in my bag.

Eric moved to pull me in to a hug. “Just cause I want to.” He said, his voice soft and quiet like it was in the hospital. I guess, after everything, even with the laughs, it felt good just to hug.

I ran my hands up Eric's tanned, muscled back. My head pressed against his collarbone, I breathed in. He still smelled amazing, like he'd just showered. I don't know, it must have been his body wash he used or perfume or something, but even after all day, he still smelled this good. I never wanted to let go.

Eric and I finally separated but as we did, he was looking at me, thumb moving to brush over my cheek. My head tilted into his soft touch. My eyes fell closed and that's when he leaned down pressing his lips to mine in a slow, soft, and gentle kiss.

Maybe 40 cows and a hundred sheep were okay after all.