Status: Work in progress.
Her Diamonds
Chapter Six
The next day we went to a doctors appointment. I rarely take a day off work but, this was a special occasion. This was they day we got a two month progress report, the doctor would tell us how Nancy's body is reacting to the treatment and the medicine. I know Nancy doesn't like it when I take a day off work, but I need to be here for her right now. My boss understood more then anyone when I took a day off, he lost his dad to cancer last year. Poor guy looked like shit for a month, he hardly showered and barely talked to anyone for a 3 months.
I look over at Nancy and she's fast asleep already, we've only been driving for about 20 minutes. Car rides seem to take a lot out of her, they always have. They either help her fall asleep right away or make her sick, thankful she's sleeping right now though. We still have another hour drive before we get to the hospital. We need to go to the Hospital way out of town this time. That's where they always do the tests and give the results. It's a bit of a pain driving so far but Nancy is comfortable with this doctor because he doesn't sugar coat anything and he's straight to the point about things. He's not the doctor that does the chemo though, he's a different doctor in a different hospital.
I have to talk to Nancy about moving. I know she doesn't want to move because we have a nice lake view where we live. She loves the water; walking at night or fishing during the day. She just loves it outside. How can I break it too her and tell her I want to take that away because it's too far of a drive to the nearest hospital. How can I tell her the chemo is really starting to show this time. She's lost so much weight because of the vomiting and not being able to eat anything. She looks pale and sometimes she sleeps on the couch for up to three days after treatment, maybe the dose is too much for her to handle a second time?I have so many thoughts running through my head right now.
I decide to stop at a well known coffee shop and get a coffee at the drive through. While leaving I hear the strangest song on the radio, I turn up the volume to hear it better. It's a guy singing about how his wife cries at night and he can't help her. I almost laugh at the ironic aspect of this song. It suits me right now more then anyone would believe.
When we get to the hospital Nancy is awake, as we walk through the doors we see her doctor pacing around. His eyes meet mine and he walks over to us. Has he been waiting for us?
"This way please, follow me to my office," he says with an arm gesture.
Before he even sits down I know something is wrong. I can tell from the look in his eyes, he looks worried and tired.
"Well, the results are from what we would have expected. Her cancer is not in remission yet, in fact it's worse. The cat scan concluded the results of the blood work. I'm really sorry, but the cancer has spread down into your leg Nancy. We can make the dose of the chemo higher and give you stronger pain pills. I know the vomiting is an awful side effect but the labs just came out with a new experimental drug for the nausea. It's specially formatted for patients with"
"Wait a second Doc. What the hell do you mean?! How could it spread, I thought the chemo prevented that."
"Well, chemo doesn't have a one-hundred percent success rate. you knew that from the beginning Gary. Just relax and let me explain."
Nancy got up from her chair and rushed over to the garbage pail in the corner. She started getting sick right there in front of him. I guess the stress was too much for her to handle. The news was too much for anyone to handle.
The doctor picked up his phone and before I knew what was going on a nurse ran through the door and walked over to Nancy who had collapsed onto the cold floor. I just stared over to the corner, it was as if I was watching a movie and had no control over anything that was happening.
A second nurse brought in a wheel-chair and they left with Nancy. I stood there with my mouth opened slightly, hot tears ran down my face and I felt the doctors hand on my arm.
"Let's get you seated, would you like a drink of water?" he pulled out a water bottle from his desk and sat next to me where Nancy had been sitting not even five minutes ago.
"I need to explain everything to you Gary. You need to know what is going on right now and what you can do to help." he explained everything to me and was writing down instructions at the same time.
After he was done talking he lead me to the room where Nancy was. She was laying in bed with her eyes closed.
"Can I leave now? I just want to go home" she asked the doctor.
"We want you to stay for a few hours, so we can monitor how you are doing. You'll be able to leave today." he answered her question then left the room.
"I don't know what came over me Gary. I just, it made me sick to my stomach for some reason. How are we going to tell the kids it's gotten worse. What if it doesn't get any better. What are we" she stopped talking and grabbed a tissue from the bed side table. She was wiping a few tears from her pale face when she looked over at me, " we need to tell the kids when we get back."
I walked over to her and gave her a hug with one arm while I used me free hand to run my fingers through her hair ever so lightly. "shh, hush now. Just lay back and get some rest. I'll call the kids and have them meet us at home after dinner. We should be back by then, it's not even 10:30 yet."
She laid down in bed and I walked out of the room, down the hall and outside. I had a few phone calls I needed to make and nobody needed to over hear any of them.
I look over at Nancy and she's fast asleep already, we've only been driving for about 20 minutes. Car rides seem to take a lot out of her, they always have. They either help her fall asleep right away or make her sick, thankful she's sleeping right now though. We still have another hour drive before we get to the hospital. We need to go to the Hospital way out of town this time. That's where they always do the tests and give the results. It's a bit of a pain driving so far but Nancy is comfortable with this doctor because he doesn't sugar coat anything and he's straight to the point about things. He's not the doctor that does the chemo though, he's a different doctor in a different hospital.
I have to talk to Nancy about moving. I know she doesn't want to move because we have a nice lake view where we live. She loves the water; walking at night or fishing during the day. She just loves it outside. How can I break it too her and tell her I want to take that away because it's too far of a drive to the nearest hospital. How can I tell her the chemo is really starting to show this time. She's lost so much weight because of the vomiting and not being able to eat anything. She looks pale and sometimes she sleeps on the couch for up to three days after treatment, maybe the dose is too much for her to handle a second time?I have so many thoughts running through my head right now.
I decide to stop at a well known coffee shop and get a coffee at the drive through. While leaving I hear the strangest song on the radio, I turn up the volume to hear it better. It's a guy singing about how his wife cries at night and he can't help her. I almost laugh at the ironic aspect of this song. It suits me right now more then anyone would believe.
When we get to the hospital Nancy is awake, as we walk through the doors we see her doctor pacing around. His eyes meet mine and he walks over to us. Has he been waiting for us?
"This way please, follow me to my office," he says with an arm gesture.
Before he even sits down I know something is wrong. I can tell from the look in his eyes, he looks worried and tired.
"Well, the results are from what we would have expected. Her cancer is not in remission yet, in fact it's worse. The cat scan concluded the results of the blood work. I'm really sorry, but the cancer has spread down into your leg Nancy. We can make the dose of the chemo higher and give you stronger pain pills. I know the vomiting is an awful side effect but the labs just came out with a new experimental drug for the nausea. It's specially formatted for patients with"
"Wait a second Doc. What the hell do you mean?! How could it spread, I thought the chemo prevented that."
"Well, chemo doesn't have a one-hundred percent success rate. you knew that from the beginning Gary. Just relax and let me explain."
Nancy got up from her chair and rushed over to the garbage pail in the corner. She started getting sick right there in front of him. I guess the stress was too much for her to handle. The news was too much for anyone to handle.
The doctor picked up his phone and before I knew what was going on a nurse ran through the door and walked over to Nancy who had collapsed onto the cold floor. I just stared over to the corner, it was as if I was watching a movie and had no control over anything that was happening.
A second nurse brought in a wheel-chair and they left with Nancy. I stood there with my mouth opened slightly, hot tears ran down my face and I felt the doctors hand on my arm.
"Let's get you seated, would you like a drink of water?" he pulled out a water bottle from his desk and sat next to me where Nancy had been sitting not even five minutes ago.
"I need to explain everything to you Gary. You need to know what is going on right now and what you can do to help." he explained everything to me and was writing down instructions at the same time.
After he was done talking he lead me to the room where Nancy was. She was laying in bed with her eyes closed.
"Can I leave now? I just want to go home" she asked the doctor.
"We want you to stay for a few hours, so we can monitor how you are doing. You'll be able to leave today." he answered her question then left the room.
"I don't know what came over me Gary. I just, it made me sick to my stomach for some reason. How are we going to tell the kids it's gotten worse. What if it doesn't get any better. What are we" she stopped talking and grabbed a tissue from the bed side table. She was wiping a few tears from her pale face when she looked over at me, " we need to tell the kids when we get back."
I walked over to her and gave her a hug with one arm while I used me free hand to run my fingers through her hair ever so lightly. "shh, hush now. Just lay back and get some rest. I'll call the kids and have them meet us at home after dinner. We should be back by then, it's not even 10:30 yet."
She laid down in bed and I walked out of the room, down the hall and outside. I had a few phone calls I needed to make and nobody needed to over hear any of them.