Not Your Every Razorblade Romance...

You hit me once
I hit you back
You gave a kick
I gave a slap
You smashed a plate
Over my head
Then I set fire to our bed

You hit me once
I hit you back
You gave a kick
I gave a slap
You smashed a plate
Over my head
Then I set fire to our bed

My black eye casts no shadow
Your red eye sees no blame
Your slaps don't stick
Your kicks don't hit
So we remain the same
Blood sticks, sweat drips
Break the lock if it don't fit
A kick in the teeth is good for some
A kiss with a fist is better than none
Whoa a kiss with a fist is better than none Kiss with a Fist/Florence + the Machine

Ville arrived home and dropped his bags in the front room. He knew Joanna was home because the heater was already running. Ville removed his coat and scarf and dropped them on his bags. He began to climb the stairs up to their bedroom. He carefully opened the door and peered inside.
Joanna was lying in bed with her laptop. She looked up when Ville entered the room and closed her laptop. Ville stripped off his coat and threw it on the floor.

“How was your trip?” Joanna asked as if there was nothing wrong with their relationship. Ville rubbed his tried face and sat on the edge of the bed.

“It was productive, the new album is done and we start touring for it in two weeks,” Ville gave his response with little emotion. The jet lag was getting to him and he just didn’t have the energy to deal with Joanna. She sensed his coldness and went on the defense.

“What is your problem, you’ve been gone for weeks and you make no move to hug or kiss me and you haven’t said anything about missing me. I miss you…” Joanna’s voice died off and she wrapped her arms around herself.

“I’m just tried from traveling for over eighteen hours and I want to get some sleep. I’m sorry if I offended you by not expressing my sorrow over being away from you.” Ville tried to avoid a fight with these words, however was unable to speak them without sarcasm. Joanna jumped up from the bed and threw a pillow at Ville, hard enough to sting slightly. Ville was shaken by her sudden violence, he’d never seen her get angry so quickly before. He stood and turned to face her, her beautiful features were contorted into something ugly, and her hands were shaking.

“This is about her, isn’t it? It always goes back to Miriah.” It was like a slap in the face when she spat out her name. “You want her now and not me! Why? what can she do for you that I can’t!” She was crying now, her tears fell in black rivers down her flushed cheeks. Ville glanced at his coat on the floor and then towards the door. He wanted to run away and go find Miriah. He hated himself for it.

“Joanna…I,” Ville started to speak softly, “I’m sorry I’ve hurt you so much…but I’m here with you now, can’t that be enough?” Joanna shook her head, her eyes looked black.

“No. No it’s not enough if you are thinking of her and wanting her when you’re with me. I can see it in your eyes, that you want to leave me and go to her right now…just admit it.” Her voice became low and bitterness leaked from her lips as she spoke. Ville again couldn’t stop himself from looking at the door, and this caused Joanna’s fragile control to shatter. She screamed and rushed forward swinging her fist and kicking with her right leg. Her fist connected with Ville’s jaw and her leg hit his gut as he bent over. Ville felt the hot pain flash across his face and then echo in his stomach. Then shock settled in, she had hit him. She had hit him AND kicked him in the stomach! He looked up and saw she was standing there frozen with her fist still clutched, her face reflected his surprise.

“Ville…” She spoke weakly, “Ville I’m sorry.” Ville didn’t look up again, he simply grabbed his coat and walked to the door, he slammed it behind him and rushed downstairs hopping to get out before she thought to fallow him. He had to get out of there.

I was sleeping peacefully when my phone ringing brought me from my sleep. I rolled over and blindly reached for my phone, finding it at the farthest corner of my nightstand. I saw Ville’s number glowing in the dark and my heart skipped a beat. I answered, still groggy from sleep.

“Ville? Why are you calling so late?”

“Joanna and I just had a big fight… one of the worst. I know it’s asking a lot but could I come over and sleep on your sofa?” his words couldn’t have shocked me more, but his tone was so scared and hurt I just felt sorry for him.

“Of course you can. Are you headed over now?”

“Yes, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

We hung up and said goodbye and I laid there for a few moments just thinking. “I wonder what was worst about this fight. I wonder why he can’t just break up with her.” I pulled myself out of bed and went to my closet to get my robe. I was only wearing a silk black tank and matching underwear. I considered brushing my hair and putting on eyeliner as I stood in front of the mirror. “He won’t notice you’re not at your best while he’s so upset.” Ville’s knock came a few moments later and I went downstairs to greet him.

“I’m sorry again,” Ville whispered into my ear as we hugged one another. I inhaled his scent and sighed softy, it felt like nothing could ever go wrong as long as I was in his arms. Then he let go of me and stepped father into the house. I closed the door and locked it behind him.

“What happened?” I asked turning around and fallowing him into the living room. He sat down on the velvet loveseat and shook his head.

“I don’t know…I came home feeling tried and depressed and when I saw her she was waiting for a fight. She attacked me verbally and when I wanted to leave she punched me in the face and kicked me in the stomach….I was shocked and it seemed like she was too…I just couldn’t stay there with her tonight.” I listened and nodded and when he was done I reached out to put my hand on his.

“I’m sorry that she acted that way…” It was then I noticed the red swelling around his left eye.

“You’re eye is swelling up, she must have gotten you good…here I’ll go get some ice.” I stood and quickly walked to the kitchen. I returned with some ice wrapped in a cloth and carefully I held it to his eye. Ville hissed when I touched it but then he relaxed a little.

“That does feel better…thank you.” When he spoke his warm breath echoed against my wrist and I started to feel a tingling through my body. “Anne Rice, he can get you going with just the slightest touch…don’t think about how good sex with him would be…don’t think about it I said!” Besides I knew that now wasn’t the time or place with him feeling and looking so shaken.

“You’re welcome…” I said and tried hard to control my hormones.

“You have a very gentle touch….” He purred and the tingling grew to a itching. I stared into his eyes and watched the color turn dark green like they had when we almost…

Ville’s lips were suddenly pressed to mine and I couldn’t help but respond. The cloth and ice dropped from my hand onto the floor as I knotted my fingers into his short curls. His tongue traced my bottom lip and I opened wide to accept him. Our tongues touched gently and his hand cupped my neck, his thumb massaged my cheek. He tasted like stale beer and cigarettes and I just found the taste more exciting because, it was his mouth I was tasting. We kissed locked together for what seemed hours, our tongues tangled and twisted and danced together. My lips devoured his and that itching grew to a throbbing right between my legs. Oh how I wanted him…I felt pain tighten in my chest as I stopped thinking about the taste of his lips and instead thought about Joanna. Joanna who was already being driven to the breaking point because of me and Ville and what we were doing right now. However I couldn’t stop it, could not stop how I felt about him, and I could not stop kissing him now. Even though he wasn’t really mine, at least it felt like he was just for that moment. I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing from my eyes either and when Ville felt the tears rolling off his own face he stopped it himself.

He pulled back and just looked at me with his big forest green eyes and then, he shook his head.
“No, this isn’t right…” He said while still cupping my face, he massaged my cheek once last time before removing his hand completely. I missed the contact and reached out with both hands to grasp his. His hands were much bigger than mine I noticed.

“It isn’t I know…and it’s killing me. Loving you is killing me Ville.” I spoke still staring directly into his eyes. Ville tilted his head slightly and sighed deeply.

“I know. It’s not fair what I’ve done to you, the position I put you in.” I bowed my head and laughed to release the tension in my chest.

“You have no idea…I’ve never…Ville I’ve never loved anyone before and this situation is a sure fucked up way to be introduced to it.” Ville’s expression became saddened.

“You deserved better than this. I wish I had met you either before or after Joanna. I would have made it the perfect experience for you.” I closed my eyes against more tears.

“This has been perfect…except for Joanna…” I spoke carefully, but truthfully. I could never hate Ville for loving two people at the same time. What I hated him for was not letting go. “Ville, I love you and you’ve told me that you love me…why haven’t you just broken up with her?” I really needed to know this.

“Miriah…I…I still love her….” Although his voice sounded unsure this just caused more tears to flow from my eyes. Then I was in his arms again, my face sobbing into his shoulder as I just couldn’t stop crying. I loved him. I loved him and all he could give me was… “he still loved her…”