Not Your Every Razorblade Romance...

”I'm A Train Wreck...
Waiting To Happen
Waiting For Someone
To Come Pick Me Up Off The Tracks
A Wild Fire
Born Of Frustration
Waiting For The One Love
That Gets Me So High.”~ 'Train Wreck', Sarah McLaughlin

“Ville! Why do we even bother! We never see each other..and when we do, we fight like cats and dogs!” Joanna yelled, shaking with emotion, still holding the broken plastic teddy bear Ville refused to let her throw away. This fight was more than just about Ville's crap- it was about their crappy relationship.

“Honey,-” Ville spoke gently, raising his hands up slowly to slow he was done fighting. “I know things are fucked up right now...I'm fucked up right now...but we just need to stick together and do our best to make this work...I love you, I still want to marry you- I just need some time to readjust myself...Grow up a little...I promise that I'll try my best to make this work.” Joanna watched him with tears welling in her eyes, her lips trembled before she sighed and closed her eyes.

“Ville, I will always love you...but you can't be serious about us still getting married. We need to sort out our issues first...” Although he nodded in agreement, inside Ville screamed no. He just wanted to get it over with so he could start his family and stop feeling so alone. Sometimes he felt like no one in his life understood him besides Mige, and they had drifted apart quite a bit in the last few months. The more he thought about how badly his life was going to hell right now, the more he drank and the booze was just fuel for the ride.

“Okay darling, okay...” he reached out to hold her, but she had already turned away and started unpacking the boxes again. He shook his head and realized he was sweating even though in the tower it was freezing. His body ached for sweet nicotine. “I'm just gonna go walk to the post office and get some more smokes, do you want anything, honey?” Joanna didn't look at him as she replied over her shoulder.

“No thank you, have fun and bundle up, it's getting really cold.” Suppressing a sigh of relief Ville grabbed his coat and scarf off the sofa, where he had ditched them earlier, and headed down the stone spiral staircase. The only good about this year had been when he bought the historical tower, even now it's beauty and aged charm put a smile on his lips.

~*~

I had only been in Helsinki two weeks when Janne found me a one person apartment only a few blocks from downtown where the publishing companies office was located.

It was in a boarding house made of wooden shingles, surround by some bushes and a black iron gate. The rent was in my price range and once I was settled in I could start working.

Janne offered to pay for my move and the deposit on the apartment if I became his personal assistant while I finished my book. It was only a few hours a week and I liked what I knew of Janne, so I agreed. I have no regrets at all about moving. I would miss my family, but I was living my dream.

It was a small studio apartment, all one floor plan beside the bathroom and the loft. There was already a bed on the loft along with a dresser and downstairs had a fully functional kitchen and bathroom. Janne gave me some of his old furniture because otherwise I wouldn't have anywhere to sit down. He gave me some book cases (which was good because I owned more books than anything else), two wooden chairs with a small round kitchen table, a glass coffee table and one burgundy velvet loveseat. I nearly fainted when I saw the loveseat. Janne had showed me incredible kindness and I was aware of the huge risk he took in helping me. I prayed I wouldn't let him down.

The backdrop is now set and I take you to a few hours after I finished decorating my apartment with hung colorful fabrics, posters and tinkle lights. I had sat down to rest on the floor and laid out on my back, I closed my eyes for a second and when they opened it was getting late and I still needed to go to the bank and the store.

I should say that by this time, I knew only basic Finish words, like 'hello', 'Help' and 'thank you'. I had been living in Helsinki only three weeks and I was becoming painfully lonely. Janne was the only real other person I had talked to in that time. Not knowing the mother tongue, it made going out to meet people difficult.

The growls my stomach were making finally drove me to sit up and stretched for a moment before rising to my feet. I heard and felt several cracks and snaps as I straightened. Wrapping myself in my red wool scarf and fake fur coat, I journeyed outside into the cold twilight.

On my walk I thought about what I was going to have happen in my novel. Allain (my main character) was giving me some trouble. I know he needs to meet Jewel his new donor, in chapter three... and he is still yet to met Dark-Moon. How do they meet? I always pictured it happening randomly, two vampires who happen to be looking for another vampire, run into each other….

As I crossed the street my eyes met with piercing green. They belonged to a man wearing a beanie and a velvet flock coat, I wanted the coat. I saw his head turn towards me as we past one another. As I walked away I could feel his eyes on my back.

~*~

I was walking back from the shop when I walked right into someone, I dropped both bags, one busting open, soup cans and bags of veggies rolling into the frosted sidewalk. I landed on my ass, the wet, cold concrete creeping through my layers of clothes. ”Great.... Wonderful. Just want I needed. I raised my head up to see a very thin effeminate man speaking rapidly in Finnish, offering his fingerless gloved hand. It was the man I had met eyes with earlier. I was stunned for a moment before taking his hand and standing up.

"Um...thank you but I don't understand you," I spoke nervously, trying to remember any Finnish word. The man looked surprised, but answered back in perfect English,

"Oh You're new here? Well I'm very sorry... I should have been looking where I was going, may I help you carry your things back to your house, or at lest pay for a cab." I blinked now noticing just how attractive he really was, with those big pretty green eyes and those sharp cheek bones. Sure, his black hair was shorter than I would usually like but he was too gorgeous for it to matter. Who was this guy? And why was my heart racing, my mouth dry and my palms sweating?

"Um…I don't want to take your money," I replied blushing slightly, he smiled kindly and knelt down to pick up the bags.

"Than at lest let me carry these for you, how far do you live?"

"About a block or so up the road, the wooden boarding house." He grinned,

We began walking as tiny bits of white fluff fell from the sky, the flakes standing out dramatically against his beautiful black flower pattered coat. A red, sparkly scarf wrapped around his neck, and my eyes passed down behind him to check out his butt. I bit my lip, it was very nice.

"I know that place, it's only a few doors down from where I live. I'm Ville, by the way" I wanted to giggle at how cute he was, did men really act this way in this day and age? None this attractive anyway… I began praying to the metal gods that he not be gay!

"V-e-e-l-a-y…"I repeated rolling it off my tongue slowly, those jade eyes gazing at me, a glimmer of amusement in them. I blushed and shook my head, replying, "I'm Miriah," His beautiful eyes glowed,

"That's a lovely name it suits you." I gulped, ”did he just call me lovely? Oh my Stephen King…”.

"Thank you,"

"You’re welcome, sweetie." I hated it when someone affected me this much, I was melting in this freezing weather. He spoke again, " So what made you move to our tiny country?" ”It has sexy polite men?”

"Work. Well, sort of. I'm a writer, well trying to be. I've been writing this book for almost three years now and I've only got three chapters and have almost no clue where it's going. I found a editor here who promised to help me out if I had moved here and that's what happened. I'm feeling a bit lost actually." Ville nodded still smiling,

"Well, I can understand that. I mean it must be hard leaving everything you know and going somewhere so different."

"And I don't even speak the language." We both looked at each other before laughing, I wasn't sure why but that was kind of the ice breaker. I felt like I'd made a new friend here