Not Your Every Razorblade Romance...

The world was on fire...
And no one could save me but-
You.
It's strange what desire...
Will make foolish people do

And I never dreamed-
That I'd meet somebody like...
You
And I never dreamed-
That I'd loved somebody...
Like-
You

No, I...
Don't wanna fall in love
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I don't wanna fall in love-
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you....Wicked Game/HIM

That night as I climbed into bed, I gazed up at the glow in the dark stars and real consolations I had painted on the ceiling. I sighed and thought about Ville, how beautiful he was…those brilliant eyes, those pouty lips… Then I smiled to myself, thinking of how intelligent, funny and completely charming he seemed. His deep husky voice echoed in my head and pounded though my body.

As my breathing slowed so did time, my eyelids grew heavy, the stars became small blurs, and then, I dreamed.

~*~

Emerald eyes filled with adoration and misty desire gazed into mine. Burning flesh brushed against my naked skin, and I melted, my chest heaved, my eyes closed for a second and things became clearer. Ville was lying on top of me, we were both nude and in the final stages of arousal. It took me a few moments to realize I was in intense pleasure.

We were moving as well, and I tried to look in between us to see if we were having sex, but for some reason I couldn't, (that feeling you get when dreaming) so I gazed back up at him, he smiled down at me, his face prickled with sweat, the small crystal beads sparkling against his alabaster cheek. I opened my mouth to speak but all that came out was a long moan as I was able to feel him move inside me now. By this point I began to suspect it was a dream but it didn't keep me from enjoying it any less. (The human brain is amazing!)

The sensations I felt were so real, the soft feel of his skin under my fingertips, and the salty, slightly musky smell of his skin was so real. He lifted my hips higher and I gasped. I felt a foreign sensation and loved it, Ville was finished. I was not, he kissed me first before pulling out and moving down my body, placing tender loving kisses along my breasts, tummy, hips and thighs. His mouth brought me higher and higher…

~*~

I awoke gasping and arching off the bed, as my muscles relaxed the pleasure was still throbbing though my body. I laid there for a few moments, soaked sheets with my sweat and other juices, my mind trying to wrap it's self around the experience. It was so intense and real, so tangible.

I sighed and threw up my covers, knowing I wasn't going back to sleep anytime soon. I went to take a shower and then to make coffee. I glanced at my Felix the cat clock to see it was 6:30 AM. I groaned and padded into the living room, I turned my heat up and snuggled on my sofa with a fluffy soft red blanket and my beloved laptop. I began to write the next chapters, full aware of how many times that I would go over them later. By the time my creative glass was empty it was almost nine. I yawned and got up to go start my laundry and to get dressed.

I called Janne as I got ready, he sounded tried but happy to hear from me.
"So should I just come down whenever?" I asked, looking though my closet I pulled out a glittery velvet black outfit with purple lace trim. It was a knee length skirt with a blazer.

"Yes, that would be fine. When you start is up to you as long as you're here before noon. We close at six, but stay open to seven on Mondays. We don't work Saturdays or Sundays. Most of the meetings with authors and editors during the weekends is always during lunch or dinner anyway." Janne spoke in his very gay, very British voice. I nodded and placed my outfit on the bed, and turned to my dresser to find some lace stockings and a tank.

"That sounds great, I'm not really a morning person." Janne laughed,

"Me either, Miriah. Well, I hope to see you soon, I hope you've been enjoying your new home."

"Oh yes, it's different, but I kind of like having my own space completely to myself."

"Oh so no plans for boyfriends?" I giggled and thought of Ville.

"Well, we'll see. I wasn't looking but I have met someone interesting, engaged so I wont be getting too close but it has got me thinking."

"Hmmm, what's his name?"

"Ville, he's a popular musician, apparently." There was a quiet pause.

"Ville Valo?" He asked, I frowned slightly remembering.

"Yes, I think that's his last name, anyway he was totally charming and a compete gentleman." Jane sounded concerned.

"Well, be careful. From what I've heard of him he's very kind, but he also can be slightly manipulative. I know a few people who have said he has a terrible temper and likes to be in control. I'm not saying you shouldn't be friends with him, but be careful, alright? You're a nice girl and it'd kill me if you got your heartbroken." I took note of what he was saying. I was a nearly prefect judge of personality and from what I had learned of him those were very probable personality flaws.

"Thanks, Janne. Like I said I'll try not to get too close. He invited me to have dinner with him and his fiance tonight."

"Oh, well try not to seem threatening to her. I've heard tales of her as well."

"I'll try to remember that. Well I better get dressed and get down there."

"Alright Miriah, I'll see you in a little while."

"Bye,"

"Good bye!"

I hung up and pull on my purple rose patterned lace tights, than my matching thong and the skirt. Having not decided yet, I chose my purple silk tank top to wear under the blazer. My shoes although suited for my new job, were what I was dreading.
They were two inch pumps, black leather, a smooth nose but even with gel pads after two hours of walking in them was pure agony. Yet like all pumps they lifted my butt up in a ready for mating position, that was a small plus.

I kept my makeup simple, pin-up girl style eyeliner, and mascara with a burgundy lipstick. The burgundy matched my hair, giving me a smoky look but not too dark, bringing attention to the fullness of my lips. I plied my hair into a messy bun on my head, ribbons of my hair falling down around my face and neck.

After drinking another cup of coffee, I gathered my things in my big black leather side bag and pulled on my pirate coat. It went to my mid calf's, made of soft black and red velvet. The shelves had sliver skull buttons going up to the elbow with added red lace puffy cuffs, the front had two roles of matching buttons. See why it was my pirate coat?

It was surprisingly not freezing outside as I walked down the sidewalk. I stopped at a bakery for a berry danish and more coffee. I ate and drank as I walked the rest of the way.

And as I walked I couldn't stop thinking about my dream, You can't look away, now.” I sighed as I walked into work.

The publishing building was surprisingly small. It was about four blocks from my house and it was on a street filled with other business buildings, a very small coffee shop stood alone among flocks of people dressed sharply with dull expressions on their pale faces. Here I was, swaying my hips in a three quarter shimmy as I danced down the sidewalk. My clothes were wild and Gothic, and my smile was one that would put the devil to shame. But the strangest part was that other than seeing smirks and smiles bloom on the people's faces when they saw me, there was no real staring, whispers, or god forbid, glares. Back in America where so many of today's youth were so glamed up, dyed and inked and they still stared at me like I had three heads, here where everyone was in uniform they took joy in my happy mood.

I felt happy and comfortable in my clothes, it wasn't like I went out of my way to be 'weird' or 'different'. I just was. I would look weird and very awkward in the 'normal' clothes. It would be like false advertising. My style reflected who I was, It was nice to feel 'normal' when I was in public. What did my dress or hair color or tattoos have to do with if I was a nice person or not?

As I entered work for the first time I was greeted by warmth, the smell of pine trees and lots of tacky yellow. There were potted plants at every corner of the large round room. A young woman with light blonde hair pulled back into a tight bun looked at me with a raised eyebrow. She wore a navy skirt suite and little makeup, she was very pretty. Like a Finnish Barbie doll with sparkly blue eyes and small lips. On the dark oak desk sat papers, a laptop, a phone and a brass sign saying: Aurora. Just that, Aurora. It was a pretty name though. Aurora. She spoke in Finnish and I was clueless. I hoped she understood English.

"I'm sorry I don't know Finnish very well, my name is Miriah Irven, um Janne told me to come in today?" Aurora nodded.

"Oh yes, he's been waiting for you in his office. It's just down the hall to your right." I thanked her and headed for his office.

Janne was on the phone when I walked in, he smiled when seeing me and motioned for me to sit down. The office was smaller than I expected it to be. The walls were yellow like everything else in the building. It was going to be harder working here than I thought. Janne hung up his phone and smiled brightly at me again. He was an older man with graying hair and he was sharply dressed in a bright blue suite with a red silk tie. This was why I knew he wasn't going to give me hell for my clothes. Janne was quite a flaming homosexual and his mannerisms were very entertaining.

"So, I was thinking we could start by going around the office. I've already made sure the other employees know that you're not very familiar with Finnish yet. I do, however expect you to be making an effort to learn more."

"Oh of course, I've already picked up a few things." He went on to explain how I was going to be running across the street to the coffee shop and the mailing office downstairs quite a lot. I was fine with that. He introduced me to the other editors and to the others who worked there in the building. I learned a great deal in that first day.

I walked back home slowly, my feet were killing me. I knew that those shoes were going to be the worse part of the job. Just as I saw my apartment building coming into view I saw Ville walking away. I quickly kicked off my shoes and held them as I ran after him. I called his name and he stopped and turned around smiling. I stopped in my tracks, my heart felt like it'd jumped into my mouth. The setting sun was behind him, his hair was sticking out in a crazed fashion and he looked like he had just rolled out of bed. He was still breath taking.

We met right in front of my house and I panted out of breath for a few moments, while Ville chuckled at me and insisted on carrying my bag and shoes up to my apartment. I rolled my eyes and allowed him to take my stuff, he fallowed closely behind me as I unlocked the door and sighed. It was good to be home. 'And seeing as the sexy man next door was home with me…'

"I'm sorry to be showing up at your place, but I thought that sense we had plans tonight I should check in to see if you remembered. I tried to call you but you didn't answer." I shook my head, taking my things from him and opening my closet to dump it all in for now. We walked into the tiny living room and both fell into the sofa.

"It's fine, my phone should have been on…" I frowned and received my cell from my bag. I turned it on and flipped it open seeing that I had three voice messages all from Ville and two text messages from him. I cold see him blushing and looking embarrassed on the sofa, with his head down playing with his hands. I couldn't help but blush a little myself. I was flattered that he wanted to make sure our plans were still on for tonight.

"Also Jonna, she had to go out of town so she won't be joining us sadly." I acted disappointed, but inside I was cheering.

"oh what a shame. I'm sure we'll still have fun though." Ville smiled and I wanted to tell him how beautiful he was to me but I quickly banished that thought. He was engaged. Taken. Not on the market. I bit my lip, I wasn't the kind of girl that those sort of things don't matter to. The way I always saw it was, so what if you can steal another girl's man, all you get in the end is a cheating bastard. I just didn't see Ville being the type that would cheat on his girlfriend. He seemed like the best of the modern man and the best of the old fashion in one.

"I'm sure we will, I'm very thankful for the company."

"You flatter too much…" I tried hiding my blush again. Ville suddenly stood and I felt like I shouldn't have said that. “Times like this I consider never opening my mouth again...”

~*~

Ville felt a over whelming wave of guilt, embarrassment, and shame crash over him when hearing Miriah say those words. He knew he was being an asshole, he knew by her behavior she was attracted to him as well. “I need to stop leading this poor girl on, I'm too much of a coward to leave Joanna...” Ville was afraid of being alone, and it would hurt to completely let go of Joanna. She was the first woman he ever really felt like her could love her forever...but people change and they both changed for the worse. It wouldn't be fair either to draw her into a relationship with him. He knew what a bastard he was to be with. He was controlling, jealous and moody. She didn't need to see that side of him. ”But it doesn't hurt to be her friend...steal the occasionally hug and kiss.”

“Well I better head home, I have some things to get done before we go out. I'll come back around eight and we can get a cab. Do you like Japanese?” Ville asked, shaking off the awkward vibe. Miriah smiled, thankfully.

“Who doesn't?” He started toward the door and she stood, he turned back around and their eyes met. Both of them couldn't deny what they felt when their gazes locked, they couldn't tell themselves what they felt was just physical. The intensity of the emotions and the fact they still barely knew each just frightened them farther.

“So I guess I'll see you at eight,” Miriah broke the silence. Ville nodded at her, and turned to open the door.

“See you then,” he called over his shoulder before closing the door behind him. Once he was in the hall, he reached in his pocket to check the text he received right before he saw Miriah walking up the street- of course it was Joanna.

“Love you, darling. Hope you have fun at dinner. Can't wait to meet your new friend.”

Ville's heart sank as he put the phone back in his pocket, shame weighted his every step back home. Was what he was doing wrong?