Red Scars Shimmer on Your China Skin

I can hear you from the stairs. My blood freezes in my veins and I can only throw myself forward, fly on that stairs to come as soon as possible to the door. The keys get tangled in my fingers, I swear until the key goes in, until the door opens. And I hear them. I feel your sobs as sharp as blades of steel, I feel your tears entangled in your hair and then I see you. You’re curled up on yourself, you are a mass of hair and crying and drooling and terror. I can smell it. I kneel down next to you. I do not know if I can touch you. What the hell do I do? You’re kicking and crying and saying words. Rough, dirty, absurd. I let your fear invades me for a second, then I throw it out along with my arms and my instincts. I'll jump between your kicks, your swearing, your wounds and blood. We are fighting, you and me. You, prisoner of your memories, I bearer of reality. But this reality means that your nightmares are real and those red stripes scars, means that you left for real and that we are here, finally, on the floor, crying and hurting each other, perhaps for the last time. Can I save you Gerard? I believe so. I feel it in the tears that are wetting even my face, in my hurting jaw, on my scraped knuckles. I will save you, I will protect you, I love you and I will love you. I’ll be the guardian of your body and soul.
- Don’t be afraid, I’m here - I can tell you this while I press you in my arms, while I kiss your cheek, while I let myself be hit from your fist. And slowly you squirm less and less and your eyes lighten up.
- Gerard, Gerard come back to me…- it’s a whisper, but you hear it. You stop kicking and hitting me. You stop. Just your sobs and labored breathe remain. Only your bewildered mouth.
- Frank…- even yours is a whisper. But suddenly everything is illuminated. And I can only smile.