Star Riddled Skies

Three hours later, after the hectic bus journey home, and the goodbyes, ones slightly awkward between Zach and me, I'm curled up on my bed, the phone clutched to my ear.

I'm listening to Ra telling me something, and absent mindedly scratching Squiggle behind the ear. He purrs so loud I have to concentrate to listen.

"So yeah, and then his brother trips over the door and into this huge bucket." I hear her say, and I have to laugh at the absurdity of the sentence.

"Oo! 'Ere, that was it! You and Zach? What the fuck!?" Ra says, almost screeching, and I can imagine her smiling. I glance out the window and see the torrent of rain, one of the main reasons we're confined in our houses, and not down the field.

"I don’t know... something might have happened if Justin didn't butt in, but I doubt it."

"Oh, I killed Justin for it anyway, something involving a certain part of him, and my knee."

"Lol!" I say happily, hunching further down on my bed. There's a bit of silence, and I'm biting my lip, trying to think, "Why doesn't he like me Ra?"

"What makes you think that?" She exclaims, and I hold the phone away from my ear for a second.

"Well... something would have happened by now, wouldn't it? I mean, like under the tree today, wouldn't something have happened?"

"Well, maybe he's just shy about it! Like you are!" Ra says, more soft this time, trying to convince me, "I mean, just give it time, you guys are made for each other!"

"Well... I still don't get why he would like me anyway! I mean, my hair's all shit 'cause I'm trying to grow it, I’m like, really short, and really crazy, hell knows I'm not the nicest personality..."

Ra shushes me and tells me I'm not, but I'm not really listening. I'm bending my legs to one side and studying my thighs. I pull a face at them, disgusting. I drag my fingertips down them and feel their bulk. Their fat.

I can feel myself slipping again.

"Ra?" my voice is barely a whisper, "Is it because I'm fat?"

"Oh, no." Ra says sternly, her voice a little choked, "Don't start that again, oh no please. Ash, you're so thin! You know you are! How much do you weigh love, how much?"

"Don't wanna say." I murmur, barely moving my lips.

"Ash." She says sternly, and my lips start moving, like a disorder that I have to tell my best friend everything.

"7st..." I say so quietly, but Ra still gasps.

"Christ Ash that’s really thin! Proper like, I mean, I'm almost 9st!" I pull a face at my best friend, even though she's on the other end of the phone and she can't see. "And besides, Zach likes you, I know he does, I can see it when you guys are together, just give it time. I promise."

"Alright Ra. I trust you."

"Love you Ash." She says softly.

"Love you too Ra. Best friends foreverrr."

-x-

A knock on my door wakes me slightly the next morning. I'd spent most of the night on the phone to Ra, just talking and joking, best friends.

I think it's Mum and sit up, "Come in?"

I blink through the sleep in my eyes, and as the door swings open they focus on the black haired, skinny jeaned boy I'd said goodbye to yesterday, but the boy that'd never left my mind.

"Hey Ash..."

"Zach?" I say groggily, "What time is it?"

"One?" Zach questions, a little confused.

"What...?" It takes a few seconds for me to realise that I'm sat, with my hair and makeup everywhere, in my pyjamas, facing the boy I really, really, like. I scream and fall back onto the bed, hands over my face.

"Zach!" I screech, "Get out! Go on, I'm serious! You are not seeing me like this! Wait outside!"

"Oh- okay, I'll just..." I listen to the door swing and click shut and sigh, sitting up. I run my hands through my hair and throw back the covers, stumbling over to my mirror and cringing at my reflection.

I quickly peel off my pyjamas, glancing anxiously at the door, then quickly pulling on some skin tight shorts and a bright blue vest top, the clothes I wear under my leather jacket and trousers, my biker leathers.

I pull a comb through my hair then ruffle it with my hands, not bothering to straighten it since
it'll be inside a helmet for most of the day. I smear on a bit of eyeliner, not staring too long at my reflection.

I walk towards the door, my hand almost on the handle until I hear voices outside, my mum.

"Zach?" She gives a little sigh, "Did she screech at you?"

"Mhmm." I hear Zach reply softly.

"Was she still asleep?" Mum questions again, a little humour in her voice.

"Mhmm."

I have to laugh a little as I hear mum chuckle, "I should have warned you really..."

"Thanks Mrs. Campbell," Zach says softly, and I can imagine the exact smile that'll be on his face right that moment.

I leave it a few seconds, then glance at my reflection again, before pulling open the door. I look down at my feet and see Zach sat at them. He looks up at me through his fringe and I smile, ruffling his hair.

"Sorry Zachy. A bit... yeah, when I wake up."

He clambers to his feet and stands before me, almost awkward before I push him a little in the chest, smile, then wrap my arms round his middle. His arms wind round my shoulders and give them a little squeeze.

"Hey Ash." He says softly, his small smile in place. His eyes skitter down my body, "Bit dangerous to go biking in that isn't it?" I laugh and push his chest, pulling out of our hug and into the spare room next to mine. Zach follows me after a second or two and watches as I pull my leathers from the wardrobe.

"No you cunt," I smile as him to show I'm joking and he smiles back.

I pull on the black and blue leathers and I'm acutely aware of him watching me. As I bunch the jacket in my left hand I pull out the black and blue motor cross boots, and jam them on my feet, lacing them up loosely with my other hand, before shutting the door.

"You look propa cool," He says with a smile, flicking his Oli Sykes fringe out his eyes a little and smoothing the edge.

"So do you!" I say back, not exactly acknowledging the compliment he paid me, but surveying his outfit. His dark grey skinnies jeans cling to his legs, the same way the skinny fit Drop Dead shark shirt clings to his torso. A pinstriped black New Era hat is jammed on his head, the peak tilted right back, visible under the hood of his open Dead Heartz Drop Dead hoodie.

I think it's safe to say this boy likes Oli Sykes and Drop Dead Clothing. I smile and run my eyeline over his outfit one more time before meeting his eyes, "Come on then,"

I link my arm with his and do a little skippy dance down the hallway, smiling at him. I'm a bit excited, since I haven’t been training for at least three weeks, and I've got a competition tomorrow, not the least bit nervous.

I untangle our arms as I reach the bottom step and raise my head to yell, "Mum come on, let's go!"

Mum emerges from the kitchen and looks me up and down, Zach stands almost awkwardly next to me and Mum smiles, she's always nice with my friends. She looks back at me and sighs, "Helmet Ash?"

I yelp a little and run back up the stairs, taking them two at a time and running back into the spare room, pulling open the wardrobe and standing on my tiptoes. My fingers close round the fabric covering my, yep you guessed, black and blue helmet.

I close the door behind me with a flick of my foot as I run back out the room and back down the stairs. Mum and Zach are smiling, if there's awkwardness then it's hidden from me and Mum crosses the hall to the front door, pulling it open.

"Come on then," She says with a smile, jerking her head out the door, and Zach and I follow, waiting until the car's unlocked before I push Zach into the backseats and climb in after him.

Mum starts the car and I lean back in the seat, my helmet on my lap and my head right back on the seat, staring at the ceiling. Zach smiles at me and I see him out the corner of my eye, lifting a hand up to give him a thumbs up and a cheesy grin.

Ten or so minutes later we pull to a stop and I grin, "Yay! We're here!" I push open the door and run across the car park towards the large building that housed the indoor ramps and hills I adore.

I hear Zach and Mum sigh and murmur something, with a laugh from Zach, that sweet thing that gets me every time. I ignore them and run into the building, into reception, smiling at the woman behind it.

"Steve's in the arena Ash," She says happily, as if she's expecting it and I thank her as I run through the doors to the huge high room with the dirt ramps. One bike occupies the ramps and I watch it for a second until I see the man I was looking for.

By this time Zach and Mum have caught up with me, but I'm so excited at that moment I don’t care, put my helmet on a small table by the wall, and run at Steve.

"Steveeee!" I screech as I run towards him and he turns, catching me as I hug him, looping my arms round his neck and hugging tight, "Where's my baby?"

Steve smiles and pulls away, "Come on," He says, and I see Zach and Mum follows us as Steve leads me to a corner, where my electric blue bike sits in the corner. I squeal and run over to it, pressing my lips to my hand then slapping my hand on the tank.

I swing one leg over it, dropping my jacket in the dust and stand kick starting the bike, smiling as I hear the low purr of the engine. I stay standing on the pegs and rev the bike, before doing a lap round the ramps.

"Ash! Helmet and jacket!" I hear Steve yell, but I ignore him until I pull to a stop in front of them, grinning as I see Zach smiling and watching me in every detail, Mum already looking bored, and Steve smiling.

"God I've missed this thing," I say, switching off the engine, kicking the peg to the floor and swing off the bike, standing next to it.

"That was so cool," Zach says, almost mouthing to me, barely a whisper. Mum gives me a look and so does Steve, signalling with his eyebrows towards Zach. I can imagine him saying 'Oo-er!' in the exact tone of voice.

"Thanks love," I say back quietly.

"Right," Steve says, clapping his hands, "Down to business,"

Mum groans, but good naturedly, "Zach and me'll go and take a seat,"

"Right," Steve says, touching my shoulder and leading us away a little, "What's with you and that boy!?" He says under his breath, in the voice that makes me sure he's gay, even though he's not.

I shake my head softly, "Nothing! Zach's his name, we're just friends. He wanted to see what I do."

"I bet he did!" Steve murmurs, before smiling and looking round, pure innocence.

"So you know what you're doing right?" He says, leading us back to my bike, helmet and jacket.

"Yes," I say, bending to pick up my jacket, throwing it over the tank, and resting the helmet on top of it, "Save the big trick for last right?"

"Yep. Go on then," Steve says with a smile, patting my shoulder, "Get practising. I'll go talk to your mum and..." There's a coy loaded pause I grimace at, "Zach,"

"Go on,"

"Jacket Ash!" Steve warns as I pick up my helmet and go to push it on.

"Aw no Steve! It's really hot in here!"

"Nope! Ashton you've got a competition tomorrow!"

"Sooo?" I moan, pulling the classic teen act, "Steve! I'll find a long sleeved top! Please!"

"I don't care Ash!" Steve puts his hands on his hips, "You've got a competition and I'm not going to let my best competitor get injured! Put it on!"

"Fine!" I screech, pulling on my jacket and zipping it up, scowling and pouting at Steve as he smiles and walks off, waving a hand at me behind him.

I slam on my helmet, smiling at the writing across the back, something Ra and I did when we were more than a little drunk – 'Propa fookin brootal!'

I clip it up and swing a leg over the bike, standing on the pegs and kick starting the bike, grinning when I feel it buzz beneath me. I connect eyes with Zach and grin before slamming my visor shut.

I do a lap round the ramps before turning into one of the small ones. I feel the grip of the tyres change as I ride onto metal, and the rush of adrenaline when both tyres are mid air and I take my hands off the bars, straightening them out at shoulder level, a simple trick just to warm up. My hands find the bars again a second before I hit the dirt and I find myself smiling.

Zach catches my eyeline as I turn round a corner to the other ramp, and I smile at him, before I realise he can't see through my helmet.

I go through my whole routine until the very last trick, where I pull to a stop next to Steve, whose watching me with a smile.

"Well done Ash, you've got some real good moves there, just keep your legs and arms a little straighter love?"

I nod and smile, standing on my pegs, ready to start again.

"Ready for the big trick?"

"Yep... but, Steve, you know I can do this one, can't we try something harder?"

Steve shakes his head and snaps my visor shut, "Go on," I can hear him say through my visor.

There's a little jolt in my chest when I realise I'll be facing Zach when I pull this trick, and that his eyes are glued to me. My heart races as I climb the ramp and the tyres touch nothing but air. I take a deep breath and take my legs off the pegs and lift them so I'm horizontal. I take another deep breath and tense my muscles, lifting my hands off the bars and throwing them to the side.

The bike spins 360 degrees and falls a little thanks to gravity. I think for a second I can't catch it until I stretch my arms and wrap my fingers round the bars, pulling my precious bike back towards me. I manage to force my feet onto the pegs and finally breath out.

I'm still a fair way from the ground and I look up, right into Zach's eyes. He watching me in almost awe, half out of his seat, Mum looking at him curiously. I keep his gaze locked on mine even though he can't see me, it still makes me shiver.

Suddenly, my tyres hit ground, and because the bike is at an angle the front wheel just slips from underneath me. I lose all hope of keeping hold of the bike and straightening it when the bikes almost horizontal.

I slip off the bike, my fingers torn from the bars and I yell out, the ground hard beneath my frame.

"Fuck." I murmur, trying to get up as I still skid along the floor, seeing my bike slide in the opposite direction.

I snap my visor up and unclip the strap, ripping my helmet off. I jump and scream when I see Zack right in my face.

"Ash! Are you okay!?" His face is pale and I swear I see his bottom lip shaking a little. His eyes dart across me, "Ash!"

"Zach, I'm fine how's the bike!"

"How're you!?"

"Hows the fucking bike Zach!" I try to sit up but Zach pushes me down by my shoulders. I look round and figure he must have jumped the crowd barrier and ran to me to get to me in time.

Mum and Steve hurry over, waggling their eyebrows at Zach and I just close my eyes.

"Ash!"