Status: Slowly Active
What You Do to Me.
capítulo Fiver.
I’ll see you at 7.
Just looking at the text made me feel sick. I was nervous. I was scared. I’m not even sure why I felt this way, I just did. I stood in the bathroom, curling my hair into ringlets. It was 6:30pm. Tonight I was meeting up with Dan for dinner. I hadn’t really told many people about it, I wasn’t even sure why. When I told Kara, she was surprised to say the least. The All Time Low boys supported the idea, although Rian was worried that something would go down. To be honest, so I was I. I wasn’t really sure what could possibly go down. I guess that’s what made it so scary.
“You almost ready?” Rian’s voice came from the bathroom door. I sighed, looking over at him. He smiled. “You’ll be fine.”
“I know.” I flicked the curler off and walked over to hug him. “Thank you for everything. I really do appreciate it.”
“No problem, Addie.” He smiled releasing me. “You look amazing.”
“Why thank you.” I smiled back at him. We both walked into the lounge room of the bus to see Jack and Zack versing each other at Call Of Duty. Zack looked like he knew what he was doing, where as Jack just looked like he was blowing anything and everything up. I smirked sitting down next to Jack.
“Give me the controller.” I snatched the xbox control out of his hands and started to play. To the band’s surprise, I was kicking Zack’s ass within 10 minutes of playing. All of them stood their, shocked when I beat Zack. “What do you guys think I do when I’m not selling merch and you’re out doing press?”
They all laughed. There was a knock at the bus door. My heart raced and my stomach flipped in circles. “You okay, Addie?” Zack asked, placing his arm around me. I nodded.
“I have to go.” I swallowed hard, stood up and walked over to the door. “Bye guys!”
“Good luck!” Alex yelled, before I opened the door. Dan stood their fiddling with the cuffs of his shirt. He was nervous too. In a way, that kind of made me feel better.
“Addie.” He smiled. “You look great.”
“Thank you.” I smiled back at him. “We should head off?”
“Let’s go.”
We walked side by side for about ten minutes before I asked if he knew where we were going. “Not really.” He replied. “I just kind of figured we would walk around and stubble across a place to eat.”
“Okay.” I replied. This was awkward. I didn’t want it to be, but it was.
“I’m sorry.” He said. “I’m not even really sure how to go about this whole thing.”
His accent was thick. I’d be lying if I said i hadn’t missed it. Or him. It was almost home like, hearing it again. For 3 years of my life I believed my home was with Dan. “It’s fine.”
“No, It’s not.” He replied. “We were together for 3 years, Addie. And now we can’t even keep a conversation going.”
“I know.” I sighed. “It will get better though. It takes time.”
“We have had months, Addie.” Dan said. “We should at least be able to be civil.”
“We are being civil, Dan.” I told him.
“We should be more than this though.”
“We will be.” I sighed. We walked until we found a small park on the outskirts of the field Warped was set up in. “Swings!” I yelled, running towards them. Dan followed me laughing.
We both sat on the swings and began to push ourselves off the ground. “Remember that time we tried to see who could go highest and you fell off?” Dan smiled, looking over at me.
“And I broke my thumb?” I laughed, remembering that day. “My leg was bleeding so much!”
“8 stitches I believe!” Dan joined in laughing. “And about 362 ‘fix it’ kisses.”
“It was not 362!” I defended. “It was only like 200!”
“Close enough!” He grinned at me. “Then I had to buy you ice cream!”
“Hey, Ice cream fixes everything!”
“We were pretty good together, you know.” Dan slowed his swing down, until it was still. I did the same, so we could talk.
“We were, weren’t we?” I sighed. “So watch changed?”
“As I remember it was the fact that I wanted you to move to England with me.” Dan explained. “I guess it was too much, too fast?”
My heart sank remembering our last fight.
”You can’t just ask me to drop everything for you, Dan!”I yelled, feeling the warm salty tears fall down my face. “This is my life, my job and my friends!”
“I’m not asking you to give it all up!” He yelled back. “Why are you freaking out so much?”
“Because I’m fucking scared.” I cried. “All of this just got real.”
“You knew that the distance was gonna kill us one day.” Dan walked over to me, whipping my tears away. “It kills me not being able to wake up with you every day.”
I cried harder, knowing he was right. “I can’t leave everyone, Dan.”
“You’re not!” He sighed. “You can still do tours with the All Time Low guys, the only thing that would change is that you would come home to me.”
“What about when you leave me on tour, huh?” I asked. “I sit there for 2 months. No friends, no family?”
“I. . .” Dan stuttered. I stood up, whipping my tears.
“I can’t Dan, I love you so god damn much, but I can’t.”
I didn’t realise it, but a few loose tears had begun to fall as I remembered the fight. “I’m sorry.” I turned to look at him sadly. “I’m so sorry.”
He stood up, walking over to me. Dan kneeled in front of the swing and wiped my tears. “It’s okay.”
“No.” I cried. “It’s not okay.”
“Yes, it is!”
“I left you for loving me and wanting to live with me! How is that okay? All you wanted was the best for me. You had it all planned and I was scared and I just. . .”
“Stop.” Dan sighed. Pulling me into a hug. I sobbed into his shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up about it now okay?”
I finally straightened myself up enough to let go of Dan. “I wet your shirt.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time you have.” He laughed.
The rest of the night was actually fun. We stopped by an old school diner for a late dinner and talked about anything and everything. It was nice to be back on that level with Dan. Where our friendship was gonna go from here, was a mystery. But it could only get better right?
Just looking at the text made me feel sick. I was nervous. I was scared. I’m not even sure why I felt this way, I just did. I stood in the bathroom, curling my hair into ringlets. It was 6:30pm. Tonight I was meeting up with Dan for dinner. I hadn’t really told many people about it, I wasn’t even sure why. When I told Kara, she was surprised to say the least. The All Time Low boys supported the idea, although Rian was worried that something would go down. To be honest, so I was I. I wasn’t really sure what could possibly go down. I guess that’s what made it so scary.
“You almost ready?” Rian’s voice came from the bathroom door. I sighed, looking over at him. He smiled. “You’ll be fine.”
“I know.” I flicked the curler off and walked over to hug him. “Thank you for everything. I really do appreciate it.”
“No problem, Addie.” He smiled releasing me. “You look amazing.”
“Why thank you.” I smiled back at him. We both walked into the lounge room of the bus to see Jack and Zack versing each other at Call Of Duty. Zack looked like he knew what he was doing, where as Jack just looked like he was blowing anything and everything up. I smirked sitting down next to Jack.
“Give me the controller.” I snatched the xbox control out of his hands and started to play. To the band’s surprise, I was kicking Zack’s ass within 10 minutes of playing. All of them stood their, shocked when I beat Zack. “What do you guys think I do when I’m not selling merch and you’re out doing press?”
They all laughed. There was a knock at the bus door. My heart raced and my stomach flipped in circles. “You okay, Addie?” Zack asked, placing his arm around me. I nodded.
“I have to go.” I swallowed hard, stood up and walked over to the door. “Bye guys!”
“Good luck!” Alex yelled, before I opened the door. Dan stood their fiddling with the cuffs of his shirt. He was nervous too. In a way, that kind of made me feel better.
“Addie.” He smiled. “You look great.”
“Thank you.” I smiled back at him. “We should head off?”
“Let’s go.”
We walked side by side for about ten minutes before I asked if he knew where we were going. “Not really.” He replied. “I just kind of figured we would walk around and stubble across a place to eat.”
“Okay.” I replied. This was awkward. I didn’t want it to be, but it was.
“I’m sorry.” He said. “I’m not even really sure how to go about this whole thing.”
His accent was thick. I’d be lying if I said i hadn’t missed it. Or him. It was almost home like, hearing it again. For 3 years of my life I believed my home was with Dan. “It’s fine.”
“No, It’s not.” He replied. “We were together for 3 years, Addie. And now we can’t even keep a conversation going.”
“I know.” I sighed. “It will get better though. It takes time.”
“We have had months, Addie.” Dan said. “We should at least be able to be civil.”
“We are being civil, Dan.” I told him.
“We should be more than this though.”
“We will be.” I sighed. We walked until we found a small park on the outskirts of the field Warped was set up in. “Swings!” I yelled, running towards them. Dan followed me laughing.
We both sat on the swings and began to push ourselves off the ground. “Remember that time we tried to see who could go highest and you fell off?” Dan smiled, looking over at me.
“And I broke my thumb?” I laughed, remembering that day. “My leg was bleeding so much!”
“8 stitches I believe!” Dan joined in laughing. “And about 362 ‘fix it’ kisses.”
“It was not 362!” I defended. “It was only like 200!”
“Close enough!” He grinned at me. “Then I had to buy you ice cream!”
“Hey, Ice cream fixes everything!”
“We were pretty good together, you know.” Dan slowed his swing down, until it was still. I did the same, so we could talk.
“We were, weren’t we?” I sighed. “So watch changed?”
“As I remember it was the fact that I wanted you to move to England with me.” Dan explained. “I guess it was too much, too fast?”
My heart sank remembering our last fight.
”You can’t just ask me to drop everything for you, Dan!”I yelled, feeling the warm salty tears fall down my face. “This is my life, my job and my friends!”
“I’m not asking you to give it all up!” He yelled back. “Why are you freaking out so much?”
“Because I’m fucking scared.” I cried. “All of this just got real.”
“You knew that the distance was gonna kill us one day.” Dan walked over to me, whipping my tears away. “It kills me not being able to wake up with you every day.”
I cried harder, knowing he was right. “I can’t leave everyone, Dan.”
“You’re not!” He sighed. “You can still do tours with the All Time Low guys, the only thing that would change is that you would come home to me.”
“What about when you leave me on tour, huh?” I asked. “I sit there for 2 months. No friends, no family?”
“I. . .” Dan stuttered. I stood up, whipping my tears.
“I can’t Dan, I love you so god damn much, but I can’t.”
I didn’t realise it, but a few loose tears had begun to fall as I remembered the fight. “I’m sorry.” I turned to look at him sadly. “I’m so sorry.”
He stood up, walking over to me. Dan kneeled in front of the swing and wiped my tears. “It’s okay.”
“No.” I cried. “It’s not okay.”
“Yes, it is!”
“I left you for loving me and wanting to live with me! How is that okay? All you wanted was the best for me. You had it all planned and I was scared and I just. . .”
“Stop.” Dan sighed. Pulling me into a hug. I sobbed into his shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up about it now okay?”
I finally straightened myself up enough to let go of Dan. “I wet your shirt.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time you have.” He laughed.
The rest of the night was actually fun. We stopped by an old school diner for a late dinner and talked about anything and everything. It was nice to be back on that level with Dan. Where our friendship was gonna go from here, was a mystery. But it could only get better right?