Say You Mean It

So Alex is back. The headlights coming through the window are blinding but I stared at them too scared to look away. Then they cut off.

Oh god. What have I done? What if we left something on the floor? What if Alex finds out?

"Hey, guys?"

Oh god. My eyes went to the floor to double check we hadn't left anything, pants, bras etc. The room was still pitch black so I couldn't actually tell. I should have looked when the headlights were flooding the room.

"Jack? Kendall?" The worry in Alex's voice wasn't concealed very well. But then again it might just be because I've know him my whole life that I can tell.

"Get over there." Kendall whispered so low I could hardly hear.

"What?" I tried to be just as quiet but it was hard.

Kendall pushed me towards the other end of the sofa and that's when I realized what she had said. Right we have to act normal in front of Alex.

"We're in the living room, little brother."

I looked over to where the living room door is. I don't know what I expected to see but it was endless black. Suddenly the room turned from grey to black with a dull light. It took a second for my eyes to readjust and when they did I could see Alex looking between us. The light coming from his mobile.

“So, had a good night?” Alex questioned. I knew what he would be able to see on my face. Guilt.

“Yeah, it was fun." I whispered keeping my eyes down. I resisted the urge to glance at Kendall and see if she looked as guilty as me.

I did glance at Alex however and he was smirking. Does he know? “Well I’m off upstairs, you coming bro?” Alex finally broke the silence.

I nodded eagerly. I hate confrontations and awkward situations so I obviously flew from the room and upstairs as fast as my legs could carry me. This house is like my second home, I had spent so much time here. I know where they keep everything so I found my way to Alex's bedroom. Then again even if I hadn't known the house I would have flown upstairs and just sat in any room.

I sat on the end of Alex's bed and waited and waited. It seemed like forever before he came upstairs. I saw the light from his phone come down the corridor and into the bedroom. Alex put the phone down on the bed so we could both see each other. Oh god.

"How'd it go?" He finally asked.

"Fine." Lie. It was better than fine.

If I only tell part lies you can't tell I'm lying but as soon as I tell a lie my lip twitches or something and I can't make eye contact so it's obvious, or that's what Alex says. But it was worth it, I mean I finally got to kiss Kendall.

"So what'd you get up to?"

"We played a little twister." Very, very little twist before she decided I was irresistible.

If it was any other girl I would tell Alex everything and I would imply that'd we'd had sex without actually saying it even if, like in this case, it's not true. I wish we had, but then again does it make me seem more 'gentlemanly' if I say we should wait for sex?

Of course. Maybe if I tell her I'm gonna try Celibacy she'll find me so irresistible she'll dive into my bed. I should try that...

"Jacky!!" I turned to look at him. "My sisters bra was on the floor, I said."

"Wow she's worse than us with our boxers," I gave a nervous laugh but he wasn't buying it.

"There wasn't a condom wrapper, did you swallow it?" He nudged me like he was joking but I knew he wasn't. I laughed anyway.

"No I kept it for a souvenir," From the look on Alex's face he didn't know I was joking. "You really think I did that??"

"No. Did you even use one?"

I didn't speak for a second. "Just because we didn't use one when we had anal does not mean I wouldn't use one on a girl!"

"So you did!"

"No of course not! How do I explain? OK you know the snogging scale?"

"Of course on Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging!!"

"OK we got 8 and nearly 9." I watched his face but luckily he didn't seem to bothered, thank god.

"Upper body fondling indoors, cool." He cringed and I guessed he had horrible mental pictures same as I had but they weren't horrible to me.

Something about Kendall just fascinates me. Her attitude toward everything is different from all the other girls I had ever known. Something about the thought of her with other people torments me too. If she weren't Alex's sister I would probably have warned him off. I say 'warned' I probably would have asked.

"Look dude," Alex hesitated. "I can't say that I like this. But please just promise me it won't happen again, I might throw up."

"It won't, I promised" I jumped on him and kissed both his cheeks. This is the reason my parents think I'm gay. But he was being pretty cool about the whole thing so I had to show him my gratitude. I had honestly expected Alex to ripe my throat out, no joke.

"Can't breathe," He mutter and I loosened my hold but didn't let go. "Just so you know if it turns out you had a super hot sister I will try and not make out with her because I'm a top friend."

I just laughed and let go. "Of course."

"But just one more thing about Kendall," Alex's face went serious again and I could imagine him saying something like; she has a boyfriend that was now going to beat me up. Or something worse.

"She, erm...." His face brightened again. "I wrote 'The Girl's A Straight-Up-Hustler' about her, obviously not from personal experience, but... you know." I smiled, I know he's looking out for me but I couldn't help but think there was something else that he wanted to tell me.

Mental note, ask Kendall if she knew what he was about to say.