There Is No I In Love

It took Tucker’s dad a few days to accept that his only son was gay, but he actually took it quite well. Tucker thought that his dad’s calm reaction would soon turn violent, especially because of how well he knew his father; short-tempered for sure. Whatever the case was, he was really glad that his dad came around.

He wasn’t gung ho about it wanting to join the next Pride Parade but he was tolerant, and that’s all Tucker could really ask for. And above all things, Mr. Connolly agreed not to tell his wife about it until Tucker was ready. The teen appreciated that.

Tucker wanted to tell Nate the good news, but every time he thought he had the perfect chance, Chase would show up, or Nate would stop and text Chase, and Tucker didn’t want to have his moment spoiled.

The blond realized that he was never going to like Chase. That no matter how nice of a guy he was, he was just never going to want him to be with Nate. Chase could be a millionaire with a heart of gold and love for Nate and he still wouldn’t like him. He was so incredibly jealous, which was a character trait that he had never possessed before.

Nate seemed to really like him; he couldn’t stop talking about him. It made Tucker want to punch a wall, but he hid his true emotions and nodded when Nate would go on and on about how sweet Chase was and how amazing their date went.

After about a week of putting it off, Tucker decided that he was going to tell Nate about what happened. He sent a text to his friend saying that he wanted to have a serious privet conversation, that everything was fine but he really needed to talk to him.

Tucker was very glad that Nate didn’t play 20 questions with him via text and came straight over; thankfully without Chase.

Tucker smiled and Nate and gave him a hug; startling Nate because he never received such affections from his friend. It was gladly accepted and Nate kind of hugged him back for longer than he should have.

“What’s this about?” The brunette asked, smiling back at his friend.

“Well come in and sit down first, then I’ll tell you,” Tucker said and led Nate into his living area.

They sat down on the couch and faced each other non-awkwardly.

“Okay so. I’m sorry I didn’t say this sooner, but I just wanted to find the right time. Because I swear I wanted you to be the first one to know- and you are, because I have no friends. But that’s besides the point,” Tucker laughed.

“Oh my god Tucker just get on with it the suspense is killing me!” Nate joked, hitting Tucker playfully in the arm.

“Okay, okay,” he said and bit down on his lip rings before speaking. “So the reason why I was so bummed out for the past few months was because of issues I had with my dad. I briefly mentioned it to you, but I didn’t want to get into it. The truth is, my dad was a homophobe and he kept making me feel horrible about being gay; and he didn’t even know it. But somehow I gathered up the courage to tell him about who I really am. And he actually is okay with it.”

Nate’s eyes lit up. “What? Tucker I had no idea…why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped you. I mean I’m so happy that everything is okay now but still. I feel like an awful friend knowing all of this now. You were really sad and I just wanted you to be happy. I wanted to be able to make you happy.”

Tucker wanted to cry but he knew he couldn’t. Nate would never know how happy he really made him. Just by smiling or laughing, Nate made Tucker’s world that much better.

“Nate, stop being silly. You do make me happy. And I did want to tell you at the same time that I didn’t. I didn’t want to be a burden, and things weren’t that bad. I didn’t want to seem like a baby. It worked though, so I’m glad about that. I’m happy I get to tell you good news instead of bad, you know?”

Nate smiled and nodded, but he looked sad as well. “Me too, Tucker. In fact, I think we should celebrate, how about you? We should go and grab a bite to eat- on me of course. Where ever you want to go.”

Nate and Tucker never really went on ‘friend dates’ they did things together sure, they went shopping and to the movies and on occasion they went to concerts and stuff. But they never really went out to eat. Tucker didn’t have anything against it and neither did Nate, but it just didn’t happen to often. Usually just for birthdays or things like that.

“That sounds great,” the blond said, “I’d really like that. Well, since it’s up to me…how about we go to Café Amici? I’m in the mood for Italian.”

“You’re always in the mood for Italian. What is it with Italians loving their own food?” he joked, standing up from the couch. “Only kidding. Italian is the best food ever, I wish I was Italian, so I could have an Italian grandma who would cook me Italian food whenever I wanted.”

Tucker shook his head. “Well my grandma is always willing to feed an extra mouth. Just pop over whenever you want. Seriously, you could probably go alone with no explanation and she’d still make you food.”

Nate laughed, believing his friend. He had met Tucker’s grandma only once, for her 65th birthday a couple of years ago. She was barely 5 feet tall but she was definitely stronger than both Nate and Tucker combined.

“I just might,” Nate said and helped Tucker off the couch as he seemed to be having trouble.

Tucker was glad that they were going out just the two of them. He sort of wanted to know what it would feel like if they actually went on dates. He wondered what it would be like to actually have Nate. His life would be so much better, not just because he had a boyfriend; but because it would be Nate.

Tucker imagined how it would feel to be able to hold Nate at night and to kiss him whenever he wanted. He knew it would be amazing. Nate’s lips were so plump and perfect; Tucker wanted nothing more than to kiss them just once, even though he probably wouldn’t be able to help himself to kissing them more after the first time.

There wasn’t anything wrong with Tucker’s life, especially at that moment. His dad was okay with his sexuality and there was no more tension between them. Nate knew the truth and everything was good. But Tucker was selfish in the sense that he didn’t want to settle for a ‘good’ life, he wanted it to be great…and the only thing; the only person that could make his life the way he wanted it was Nate.

Tucker was naïve thinking like that, but it was what he wanted. He was stubborn, and worse for him, he became driven by his emotions, which was something he told himself would never happen.

All he had to do was look in Nate’s direction and everything changed. Anything he told himself about holding back just vanished.

Nate took Tucker to Café Amici and they had an amazing time. Their waitress was friendly and their food came out in a timely manner. Tucker thought it was adorable when Nate had a little spot of spaghetti sauce on his chin and the blond was debating on removing it with his napkin, but he refrained, as hard as it was.

Tucker thanked Nate for paying even though he tried to get him to take money for his meal. Nate was always so generous and kind. Sometimes Tucker didn’t think he deserved to have Nate as a friend, but he knew that if he ever voiced his opinion about it Nate would tell him he was crazy and that it was the other way around; which wasn’t true at all according to Tucker.

“Well thanks again, Nate. I really appreciate you taking me out. Do you want to come back to my house or?” He asked a bit unsure for some reason.

Nate smiled. “I would, but I’m actually going to meet up with Chase for a little bit. You’re more than welcome to come. You always are.”

Tucker tried to hide his obvious sadness.

“Oh- no, that’s cool. That’s great that you see each other so much,” he forced out of his mouth. “I’ll just see you in school tomorrow. No big deal. Have fun, Nate.”

Nate bit his lip and nodded, feeling like he had done something wrong.

Tucker let out a sigh when his friend was out of sight. He soon made a very important decision about Nate. He came to the conclusion that he couldn’t do it anymore. All the other times he said the same thing over and over, that he had to get Nate out of his head and forget about him; that they could only be friends. But he realized he was thinking about it all wrong.

Tucker wasn’t going to forget about Nate. He couldn’t do that. Tucker was going to fight for him.