There Is No I In Love

Tucker had a lot on his mind throughout his day. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t stop thinking about what his dad had said about Nate, and how much it bothered him. He turned his head to look at his friend and quickly looked back to the book on his desk.

He started to wonder if he would ever be able to tell his dad the truth about himself, and he came to the conclusion that he never could.

Tucker didn’t have anybody he could tell, not really; he didn’t have a mom, she took off years ago, and his step mom wasn’t any better than his dad. His mom and dad were exactly the same with their thought processes and Tucker hated it. He didn’t have a “good cop bad cop” routine growing up, they were both bad cops. It wasn’t fair.

The only person Tucker could confide in was Nate, but it wouldn’t matter; Nate already knew everything there was to know about him. Tucker never came out and said ‘I’m gay’ to Nate, but he didn’t need to. They were best friends and they just happened to be both gay. They didn’t make each other that way it was just the way it was.

“Tucker, could you please explain what message the author was trying to convey in paragraph 11?”

The teen’s mind was somewhere else but he knew the answer to his teacher’s question. English was one of his strong subjects in school, and he liked interpreting and giving meaning to stories and poems.

“I think it could be taken a lot of ways. But in my opinion I think that she was trying to let the reader know that internally, Paul is just a little kid even though he is a teenager, he still has fears and doubts and is scared- of life itself and…that’s why he is depressed and lonely. That‘s why he comes off so narcissistic and peculiar; he doesn‘t know how else to act, he doesn‘t know how he‘s supposed to act.”

Nate looked at Tucker and smirked. Nate knew Tucker was an English nerd and could analyze anything about any short story, novel, or poem that was given to him.

“Very good. I like that interpretation a lot, and we’ll continue this on Monday because we’re out of time. Bye everyone, see you next week."

The blonde closed his book and put it into his bag, standing up from his seat. He was glad that the school day was over. All he wanted to do was go over to Nate’s house and forget about everything else.

Nate stood up and put his book under his arm, starting to walk out of the room.

“So uh, does that offer still stand to stay over? I know you just brought it up this morning but I want to- if it’s okay,” Tucker asked, patting his pockets to look for his keys.

Nate smiled and nodded. “Duh. That’s why I asked. Why don’t you come over now and get your stuff later, we can have a second lunch. I’m starving.”

Tucker shook his head. “Nate you’re always hungry I have no idea how you stay so thin,” he laughed. “But um, I think I’m going to stop home first because I haven’t told my dad yet. I need to stop and get cigarettes too, I ran out this morning I was so pissed.”

Nate frowned. He hated that Tucker smoked- it was possibly the only thing he hated about his friend. Tucker didn’t chain smoke or smoke a lot but it still didn’t sit well with Nate. Nate often worried about Tucker, usually over silly things but he didn’t take smoking lightly.

“I really wish you wouldn’t, and you know this, but you’re going to do what you want anyway. I’ll see you at my house in like a half hour then?” He asked, looking at the ground instead of his friend.

Tucker didn’t like upsetting Nate but smoking was something he couldn’t give up. It relaxed him and kept him sane when nothing else could. He wanted to stop; he wished he could, especially for his future health but it wasn’t his top priority for the moment.

“You can clock me...now. See you soon!” Tucker joked in an effort to make Nate smile; it worked… a little.

Tucker jogged to his car and peeled out obnoxiously like he always did. He drove home quickly and was almost happy that his dad was home. He didn’t want to have to wait to ask him about staying over Nate’s house.

He locked his doors and headed inside his house, making sure to take off his shoes; his mom would kill him if there was any dirt on the floor.

“Why are you home, Tuck? I thought you were going to study at Nathaniel’s house.” His father called out from the den.

Tucker walked further into his house to look at his dad while he talked to him. “I am. I actually wanted to ask you if it was alright if I stayed over.”

Mr. Connolly threw his head back and laughed. “Tuck you’re kidding. You want to have a sleep over? You’re nearly a grown man. Study what you have to study and then come home. Before midnight.”

Tucker’s jaw tightened before he spoke. “But dad, it's Friday. I just want to stay over his house. I’ll be out of your way as well as Francine’s-”

“The answer is no Tuck. I’m not letting you sleep over and that’s final. Do not ask me again.”

Defeated and more angry than he had been in the morning, he walked away from his dad. He was about to text Nate about not being able to sleep over, but then he heard his sister cry from the nursery. “I got her,” he called out before heading up the stairs.

Tucker leaned over her crib and picked up the crying infant. “Kacee, Kacee don’t cry. Shh it’s okay. Your big brother is here. What are you crying about, huh?”

Tucker never knew what unconditional love was until he held his sister for the first time. Her eyes were so bright and blue and he just fell in love with her. She looked exactly like him even though they were only half-siblings. He loved Kacee because when he talked to her, he knew that she wasn’t going to judge him, and she would laugh and smile no matter what he told her.

He rocked his sister gently in his arms and kissed her forehead. “I bet you’re just cranky. I would be too if I was stuck home all day with mommy. Don’t tell her I said that.”

The baby reached up and touched Tucker’s face with her small hand. He nibbled on her fingers gently and she laughed. She wiggled in his arms and he hugged her.

“See? You’re okay. You’re fine. All of that crying for nothing.” He said, and carefully placed her back in her crib.

He took out his phone and sighed as he typed out his message.

Nate I’m sorry but my dad won’t let me sleep over. He thinks it’s childish and whatnot. I’ll bring my books over and we can study. I’m also bringing over scary movies and making you watch them.

That sucks =[ but it’s okay, we’ll study and eat Oreos and Twinkies (I know I’m fat. Shut up) And no, I’m not watching any scary movies. Nice try.

Tucker laughed and bit his lip. He really wished he could have stayed over.