There Is No I In Love

Tucker and Nate stood after school on Wednesdays for art club. Tucker wasn’t into art, and he wasn’t artistic by any means of the definition, but Nate enjoyed it and wanted to do something extra curricular with his friend.

The teens balanced each other out all the time. They were different, but they were alike enough to mix together instead of clash. Nate was more artistic, neat, and easy spirited while Tucker was more information savvy, collected, and dignified.

They sat by themselves in the back corner of the classroom where it was quiet. Nate wouldn’t mind sitting in the center of the room and socializing with the others but he knew that Tucker wanted to be secluded. He often accommodated to Tucker’s needs without him saying anything. If he knew than he would feel bad, so Nate never mentioned it.

“I am so not doing this right. My giraffes’ neck is lopsided and he has a giant stomach. I suck at making art.” Tucker sighed, trying to straighten out his sculpture.

Nate laughed to himself and looked at Tucker’s animal.

“First of all, you don’t make art; you create art. Second of all, relax. This is supposed to be fun. It’s not being graded so it doesn’t need to be perfect. Yours looks fine. Just take the shaving tool to make the belly not so…pregnant looking., then smooth it out with your thumbs. And I like the neck like that, it looks like he‘s observing something in the distance. It‘s a nice touch; it gives him character.”

Tucker nodded and listened to his friend. He almost hated how perfect Nate was. He was so optimistic and always had a solution to offer. Tucker wished Nate’s personality would rub off on him, but he started to lose hope after a while. He was just stuck how he was.

After the blonde corrected his mistakes he held out his giraffe to examine it. It looked a lot better to him even though he didn’t do much. It actually started to look how he pictured it in his head. All he had left to do was wait for it to dry so he could paint it.

Nate looked ahead of him at the boy who was sculpting a row of owls. Tucker noticed that Nate kept his eyes on that boy a lot when they stood after for art club. He was jealous of him, because he knew Nate thought he was an amazing artist; like himself. Tucker was mad that Nate and the boy had something in common. He wondered why Nate never tried to talk to the boy or anyone for that matter.

“Um, Nate. Can I ask you a random question?” Tucker asked, biting his lip, unsure if he should have brought it up in the first place.

“Of course. Shoot.” He replied, fixing the tail of his horse ever so carefully.

“Well um; I’m warning you it’s really random. I just…I wanted to know why you don’t have a boyfriend. I mean you’re smart, talented, and good looking…I’d just figure you’d have one. And you never have. I’m sorry I can tell I’m making you uncomfortable I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Tucker felt his cheeks get hot with embarrassment, which is something he was not used to. He never got embarrassed over anything, he usually didn’t care. But this was different. He did care about the subject matter this time.

“No it’s fine. You can ask me anything, you know that. And to answer you; I do want a boyfriend. I want someone to take me out on dates, and take care of me when I’m sick, and have someone who cares about me, sure. I just haven’t found the right guy. I‘m not exactly looking though. I feel like it‘ll just happen.”

Tucker swallowed and accepted his friends response. He was glad that Nate wasn’t mad at him for asking. He was also glad that Nate didn’t turn around and ask him the same question. Tucker’s answer wouldn’t have been so sweet and adorable.

“Oh. Yeah that’s understandable,” he said and pushed his creation aside. “You deserve someone who’ll do those things for you. I’m sorry you haven’t found him yet.”

Nate wanted to blurt out his feelings so badly. But he knew he couldn’t and it made him sad.

“Aw thanks, Tucker. But don’t worry. I’m still happy. I don’t need a boyfriend, I just want one. I’m fine with the way things are now. Besides, I have no idea where I’ll be next year. I could be away at school, there’s no point in starting a relationship now.”

Nate wanted to agree with what he was saying, but he didn’t. He wanted to be with Tucker. He wanted to stay in Connecticut with him; he didn’t want to go away to New Jersey or Rhode Island like everyone else did. All he wanted was to be with his best friend.

“You…you think that you’ll go away?” Tucker asked trying not to sound so worried, even though he was.

“Yeah. I was thinking about Rutgers. What about you?”

Tucker shrugged and shook his head. He was devastated to hear that Nate wanted to leave. They hadn’t ever spoken about college, it seemed so far away. Reality just hit him like a ton of bricks…maybe two.

“Haven’t thought about it. Just thought I’d stay local. Maybe Trinity or Sacred Heart.”

Tucker didn’t want to think about separating from Nate. He didn’t think that they ever would, which was naive of him, but he couldn’t help it. He was only 17 he didn’t want to think about adult-like things just yet.

“Very cool. We have time to think and change our minds though. No pressure,” he said with a smile. “Anyway, we can go now. Nothing else left to do except literally watch paint dry. You’re ready, right?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.” He looked at Nate’s horse. It was so detailed and perfect. “Yours came out awesome. Mine is a joke.”

Nate smiled and hit Tucker’s shoulder playfully. “Yours came out great, give yourself some credit.”

Tucker knew that Nate actually meant what he was saying, and it made him feel much better.

“Thanks. Coming from you it means a lot.”

“No problem.”

The boys put away their projects and walked out of the classroom. As soon as they exited the building Tucker reached in his pocket and pulled out his cigarettes and lighter. It was an immediate reaction.

Nate made a face but kept his lecture to himself. He used his hand to swat away the smoke like he always did.

“Tucker why don’t you come back to my house? I’ll make us Ramen noodles.”

The blonde blew out his smoke away from Nate’s direction. “How could I say no to that?”

Nate tried to smile but he didn’t want to while looking at his friend slowly kill himself.

“I’ll make you Ramen whenever you want if you promise to stop smoking?”

Tucker laughed, and coughed. “Temping, but no. Nice try.”

Nate sighed and took out his keys. “It was worth a shot. I’ll meet you at the house.”

Tucker nodded and waved to Nate goodbye as he finished his cigarette.