There Is No I In Love

Nate and Tucker were working on an assignment together in the cafeteria. They started it a couple of days in advance so it would definitely get done on time. Tucker didn’t mind going up in front of the class and speaking, but speaking in another language in front of the class bothered him. Especially because he didn’t know the language all that well.

Nate felt the same way, only he faked not being nervous to try and ease Tucker’s mind. French was not the easiest language to learn, and the teens were starting to wonder why they took it in the first place. They could have chosen Italian or Spanish but no- they chose French. It was the only way they were guaranteed to be in the same class, since there was usually only one French class per school year.

Tucker stuck out his bottom lip as he wrote down important vocabulary from the text book. Nate thought it was so cute, and Tucker probably didn’t even notice he did it.

“Okay, that’s enough for now. We have the weekend to finish it. So how do you want to do it, do you want to ask the questions and I’ll answer or vice versa?” Nate asked putting down his pen.

Tucker shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. Either way it sucks. We’ll do fine though, we’ve been studying for a while.”

“Yeah, I have faith in us,” he laughed.

The blonde pushed his books aside and pulled his tray closer to him so he could begin eating lunch. It was sad that 10:45 in the morning was lunch according to their stupid high school.

“So, are we hanging out tonight?” He asked, taking a bite out of his turkey sandwich.

Tucker often bought lunch from school, he didn’t really care about how gross it was. To him, it was decent. It could have been worse but it also could have been better. He ate it regardless. Nate on the other hand wouldn’t touch anything from the café, not even the cookies; and cookies were pretty hard for Nate to resist.

“Um. Actually…I don’t know. I was invited to this party but I’m not sure if I want to go. I’m not a partier, and I never had a desire to go to one. But I figure hey I’m 17, everyone else is, so why not?”

Tucker hid his surprise and nodded his head. “Oh. Cool. Yeah I think you should go.”

He forced himself to say those words. He wanted to spend time with Nate. He loved spending time with him, and not because he was the only one he actually spent time with, he really liked Nate’s company.

“This is a dumb question, and I already feel like a loser asking but…what is a party even like. I know you’ve been to a few. Is it like crazy drunk people starting fights or what? I know I must sound so stupid…”

Tucker swallowed what was in his mouth and then took a quick sip of his soda. He knew Nate was innocent in the sense that he never drank and was against smoking and drugs but he didn’t realize that he was sheltered as well.

“You don’t sound stupid. Relax. Parties are fun. There’s music, beer, and a lot of people. Since it’s only October, it should be outside…so don’t wear nice clothes. People don’t have any respect for you/your belongings when they’re drunk so be aware. But no one is going to randomly punch you if that’s what you’re afraid of,” he said with a smirk.

“Oh okay. Good. I mean I wasn’t planning on getting into a fight or anything I just wanted to know if I would be in danger. I still don’t know if I’m going yet. I’ll figure it out later.”

“Go, Nate. If you hate it then just leave. Where is it? It can’t be too far if someone from school is throwing a party.”

“It’s only like 10 minutes away. Kiara Bennington’s house. The big one with the horse stables and stuff. I think her parents are away. I don’t really know. I wasn’t even directly invited she just told the whole class to come.”

Tucker laughed. He knew Kiara quite well. They used to be semi- good friends before he met Nate but they lost touch just like friends do sometimes. He was almost glad he wasn’t friends with her anymore because she turned out to be kind of a slut.

“Her house is nice. Just go to check it out. Like I said, if you’re having a lousy time or just want to go…then leave. No a big deal.”

“You’re right. I’ll go.”

Nate didn’t want to go without Tucker, but he had no choice.

“Good. It’ll be an experience, I’ll tell you that much.”

Tucker is glad that Nate doesn’t drink, because Tucker unfortunately remembered many of his drunken nights. He wished he blacked out or something because he had done some pretty regrettable things. But nothing damaged him psychologically, so he was alright.

He hooked up with people while he was drunk, and he didn’t know how he felt about it honestly. He couldn’t be who he was out in public but at a party he was free to be as gay as he wanted, and that included making out with guys and perhaps taking one or two of them to bed.

Tucker liked hooking up because there were never any strings attached…he could get what he wanted and then pretend like it never happened without any problems. He liked things that way, but a part of him wanted to actually develop a relationship and maybe date someone some day. But the only way that would ever happen is if it were a straight relationship. He wasn’t about to lead a girl on like that; it wasn’t right, and he wouldn’t do it.

Tucker never told Nate about his intimate encounters, in fact, they didn’t really talk about their sex lives at all. Tucker thought it was strange at first; they were two guys, one would expect sex to come up a lot. But it didn’t.

Nate was very private about his sexual encounters, Tucker thought it was probably because he didn’t want him to know that on the outside he was all sweet and naïve but on the inside he had more sex than he knew what to do with. Or maybe Nate just wanted to keep his sex life to himself. And that was okay. Tucker wasn’t about to start questioning the heck out of him just to know the truth. He was actually quite satisfied not knowing about it, because he wouldn’t want to think of his friend as a sexual person…just because he already had his view of him.

Tucker wouldn’t call himself sexual, he liked sex, sure, but he only had full on sex twice in his life. He preferred to have ‘third base’ encounters rather than sex. He wasn’t into having sex with people he didn’t care about, even though he did it twice. The first time was awkward, clumsy, and drunken and the second time wasn’t much better. He vowed that no matter how horny he was he wasn’t going to have drunken sex anymore, and that the next time he did have sex it would have to be sober.

The teen didn’t usually make promises to himself, but that sort of thing was important to him.

“Can you come over to my house before I go. To help me pick out an outfit?”

Tucker shook his head. “Sure. But it’s not necessary. You look good in anything.”

The blond got scared for a moment because he didn’t plan on saying something like that…it just slipped out of his mouth.

“Aw thanks. But I still want you’re opinion.”

He was glad that Nate didn’t look deeper into it, or else he wouldn’t know what to say. Why did he say that? He was stupid for saying it.

Tucker instantly blocked it out; like he did with most things that didn’t sit well with him.

“Alright. You got it.”