There Is No I In Love

Nate hoped that Tucker would disregard his abnormal behavior as the days went on, and he did. Tucker didn’t even think anything of it, because he didn’t want Nate to feel awkward. The situation itself wasn’t that awkward, so he decided to keep a non-awkward situation as it was. Nate was grateful for that; he didn’t know what he would do if his relationship with Tucker changed because of one stupid thing.

Nate made a choice that he wouldn’t ever get that wasted again, at least not for a while. He never regained memories from that night, and that had scared him. What if he did something that he really regretted? He wouldn’t know how to handle that. And he didn’t even know if he did.

The teen thought that he was in the clear, but all of that changed much to his surprise.

“Hey you!” A male voice called out into the hallway.

Nate wasn’t sure if it was him being spoken to, so he didn’t turn around. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, he then turned to see an unfamiliar face.

“Um. Hi.” Was all Nate said, unsure if he was supposed to know who this person was.

The boy was tall, but not much taller than Nate; he was probably about Tucker’s height. He had medium length brown hair that looked soft, gentle dark eyes and he was on the thin side. Nate thought he was attractive, which was odd to him. He never really looked at any other boy that way except for Tucker.

“You don’t remember me, do you?” He said with a slight smile. “Well I’ll introduce myself again then. Chase Tomelson. We met at Kiara’s party.”

Nate nodded and looked at his feet. “I uh. Don’t remember, I’m sorry. I got trashed and yeah. Did I bother you, because if I did-”

Chase cut Nate off politely by holding up his hand. “Not at all. We hit it off really well actually. We like the same music and we both like purple. I think that’s why I came up to you. Because you and I were the only guys there that were wearing purple,” he said laughing.

Nate felt bad that he couldn’t put the pieces together, but he was glad that Chase was doing it for him.

“I feel like such an idiot for not knowing I even talked to you. This is going to sound as lame as lame gets, but that night was the first time I ever drank and I definitely got carried away. So I know I probably embarrassed myself and stuff so you can tell me, I want to know.”

Chase laughed and shook his head. “It’s not lame. And you didn’t embarrass yourself. I saw you just now, obviously, and I thought I’d say hi. I mean, nothing really happened between us but I figured it would be the right thing to do to come over, that, and I wanted to.”

Nate’s heart started to beat really fast; like it did whenever Tucker was around. It felt so weird to have this happen to him. He didn’t not like it, it was just foreign to him.

“When you say ‘nothing really’ what do you mean by that?” The teen asked, crossing his arms.

Nate was worried for what was going to come out of Chase’s mouth. He never did anything with anyone. He kissed a guy before, but only a peck. That was it. He never went any further than that, because it didn’t feel right. The only way anything would feel right would be if it were with Tucker.

“We didn’t hook up or anything if that’s what you think. I shouldn‘t have worded it like that. All we did was talk, I promise. Like you said, you were drunk…I wouldn‘t take advantage of you, or anyone like that.”

Nate tried to keep his composure. He wanted to scream. He would have been so upset if his first real kiss was a drunken mistake.

Chase was cute, but Nate didn’t even know him. He had no idea how old he was or if he smoked or did drugs. It bothered him that he could have subjected himself to kissing Chase without considering the consequences of it.

“Oh. Yeah I thought maybe- never mind,” he laughed to keep himself from looking like an idiot. “I’m glad nothing happened. I wouldn’t normally just hook up like that. I’m kind of a loser.”

Chase shook his head. “Not being a slut doesn’t make you a loser. Good guys are hard to find these days. But yeah I need to head to class now, the bell is going to ring in a minute. Would you want to take down my number and shoot me a text sometime?”

Nate blinked several times before he registered what Chase was asking. He clumsily took out his phone and entered in the boy’s number.

After Chase was out of sight, Nate had a mild epiphany. He could be with Chase. It was a long stretch of an idea, but it was possible. He was a good looking guy that seemed interested in him. Maybe meeting Chase was a sign, the sign that Nate needed for quite some time.

He wanted himself to be open about everything, and he was; he was finally able to think freely without thinking about Tucker. Tucker was never going to love him. They were friends, and that was it. That was all they ever would be. Nate wasn’t okay with that until then. Until he realized that he wasn’t this ugly, stupid, young boy that would be forever alone. The way Chase smiled at him made him think he was worth something.

Not like Tucker never made Nate feel good; because he did. Tucker made Nate happy in a way that no one could. But Chase was different. At first Nate wasn’t too sure about him but then he got used to the idea that his new friendship with him could turn out to be a great thing.

Nate smiled to himself as he walked into the cafeteria. He saw Tucker sitting by himself at a table, and he sat down next to him.

“Hey, you’re late. What happened?” Tucker asked, taking out money from his back pocket.

Nate pulled his messenger bag over his shoulder and set it on the chair next to him.

“You don’t have to buy lunch today, I brought us peanut butter and fluff sandwiches. I have an extra water if you want it, but I have a feeling you want a Dr. Pepper, am I right?”

Tucker smirked. “Thanks, Nate,” he said as he took his sandwich. “You know me like a book. But that still doesn’t answer my question. Why were you late, did you get held up in photo?”

Nate shook his head and took his sandwich out of the plastic bag.

“I ran into someone I made friends with at the party.”

“Oh?”

Nate took Tucker’s one word answer as a cue to expand.

“Yeah,” he took a small bite and a sip of water before continuing. “His name is Chase. I‘ve never seen him before. He looks younger, maybe a grade below us. But apparently we talked and stuff- I had no idea until he told me.”

“Did you guys fuck?”

Nate almost choked on the food that was in his throat. Not only did Tucker’s question catch him off guard, but it was totally inappropriate. It was so unlike Tucker to ask such a thing, especially because he knew Nate, or he should have known him enough to know the answer already.

“What? Why would you even ask that? No.”

Tucker furrowed his eyebrows. He had no idea why he was so mad at the mere thought of Nate hooking up with this Chase guy. Probably because he didn’t know him; he didn’t know if he was good enough for Nate.

“Well you were drunk. I don’t know. I’m sorry I just…I would beat the crap out of him if he ever thought about taking advantage of you.”

Nate sighed. He couldn’t be angry at Tucker for wanting to protect him. It was sweet in a weird and violent sort of way.

“Relax. I only got good vibes from him. You don’t have to beat anybody up,” he tried to make a joke to calm Tucker down. “Anyway, he gave me his number. I don’t know if I should text him though. He’s attractive, nice, funny, and he likes purple. But we’ll see I guess.”

Tucker swallowed hard and nodded. He didn’t like Chase already and he didn’t even meet him yet. Not a good sign.