Listen to Me

I laid back on my bed, fiddling with my camera. I hadn't taken nearly as many pictures as I thought I would this semester, and now my Photo teacher is getting annoyed. I haven't taken a photo class before, and I know my instructors feel like they have to do extra work to communicate with me, but I'm the one doing all the work. I have to figure out how to read lips and write notes at the same time WHICH IS FREAKING IMPOSSIBLE, so mostly I have to run around to my classmates and ask to borrow their notes, which are poorly written. Between trying to keep up in all my classes, trying to find time to take less amateur photos, and surprisingly having a social life for the first time in my life, I am swamped.

I looked over all the photos I had taken today. Nothing but dull scenery and squirrels. God, where is my inspiration?

I sat up when I saw Jason come in the room. He threw his books on his bed, kicked off his shoes, and turned on his speakers. I wonder if he turns the music up louder, knowing that I won't be bothered by it. He looked over at me and smiled.

"What's up, Rory?"
I shrugged, waving my camera in my hand.

He came over and sat on the bed next to me. I curled my feet up under me and showed him the camera. He went through my crappy pictures and raised an eyebrow. I frowned.

"Hey, I never got photography anyway. I mean, how is taking pictures art? You're just showing the world what's already there."

I smacked him in the head with my pillow and he glared at me. I hugged my camera to my chest, showing him how important photography was to me. He just rolled his eyes and went and sat on his bed.

"Try taking pictures of something interesting. Anybody can go outside and see a tree. Take a picture of something surprising, something people won't see very often."

I frowned. He had a point. But I had no ideas. This campus was surprisingly dull - nothing interesting happens here.

I reached over to my desk and picked up my laptop. Logging into my DeviantArt account, I looked back at my gallery of photos. I thought I had taken some pretty cool pictures before - Dakrem U seemed impressed with my portfolio when I applied here. Back home, being home-schooled and deaf made everything new and interesting to me. My photos felt more intense because I had to view and learn things my own way. But here at Dakrem, nothing jumps out at me. The people, the environment - it's all so boring. How can I surprise people with something they see every day?

I closed my laptop and set it down on the bed. I noticed that Jason was gone. I sighed. Jason comes and goes. I rarely see him in the room for more than ten minutes. He's so freaking popular, the "big man on campus." I have also noticed that he is pretty popular with the girls too. I guess I'm the only person, besides Jon, who knows his little secret. And I'm not gonna out him - that would be cruel - but I don't think he should keep leading those girls on. I notice when he glances at other guys around campus. And his gaydar isn't too bad - a few guys seem to check him out back. I really think he would be happier accepting who he is.

But there isn't anything I can do. He already got mad at me once for butting in. Considering we barely get along as it is, I think it's best that I just let him figure things out on his own.

I think I'm gonna focus on myself right now. I'm way too stressed about my photo assignment, and my social life is non-existent, so I'm just gonna try relaxing in the shower.

I peeled off my shirt and headed for the bathroom. When I opened the door, a blast of hot air and steam enveloped my body. Then Jason stepped out of the steam... dripping wet and completely naked. His shaggy wet hair clung to his shocked face, and every rippling muscle was slick with water.

Thank God I wasn't blind.

My body was heating up, and it wasn't because of the steam. Jason just stood there, stunned and exposed. I chewed my lip; I was getting such a massive boner right now. My brain finally kicked in, and I ducked out of the bathroom.

I ran out of the room and slammed the door behind me. I... I think it's better if I stayed out of the dorm for awhile.

I left the building, and it wasn't until a strong gust of wind reminded me that I had walked out without a shirt. Well, it would be way too awkward to go back for one now. I'll brace the cold.

I earned a few stares, of course. Mostly, people look confused, but I think a couple people were checking me out. I smirked at that. I couldn't really date before, but I appreciate the attention when people try to flirt with me. Usually, people just think I'm quiet because I'm shy or I'm playing hard to get, so it works for me. I wonder if I'll ever have a boyfriend at Dakrem. I refuse to be single my whole life because of my disability, and now that I'm free from my overbearing parents, I can finally act a bit wild.

Another chilling breeze snaked through my bones, so I tried to find some shelter. Unfortunately, establishments won't let you in without a shirt : "No shirt, No shoes, No service." I couldn't get into another dorm because I looked suspicious and I had left my I.D. back in the room. Maybe I should just suck it up and face the awkwardness between me and Jason.

Out of nowhere, something fell on my shoulders. I pulled on it, and saw it was a leather bomber jacket. I turned around, and an extremely hot guy was smiling at me.

"I figured you needed it more than I do. But I have to admit, I regret covering up those abs of yours."

I blushed as I brought the fleece-lined jacket closer to my body. I really didn't know how to thank him, so I just gave him a big smile.

"I could buy you a coffee to help warm you up."

He spoke fast, but smoothly, very confidently. I zipped up the jacket and followed him to the campus cafe.

This was gonna be hard. I didn't have a cell phone to type messages on, or my notepad to write with, or Jon to translate. Actually, I haven't used sign language that much at Dakrem outside of my ASL class. I don't see Jon very often to talk to, and nobody else knows ASL, so it's just been easier to type messages on Jason's phone.

The guy asked me what I wanted to order. I just shrugged and smiled. He ended up ordering for me. I think it was just hot coffee with sugar. I sipped it while he watched me. I had to figure out a way to talk to him.

"So, what's your name?"

I looked around frantically for a way to answer him. I spotted a pen that someone had left on a table and I grabbed it. Now for paper. Napkins will do. I mustt have looked crazy, ripping a handful of napkins from the dispenser.

Rory, I wrote.

He stared at me. This wasn't going well. Then it hit me - a stroke of genius, a brillant lie.

I lost my voice.

He nodded and smiled. Success.

"Poor thing. You shouldn't be outside in your condition, even if it did help me meet you. If you have nowhere to go, I could take you back to my place."

Alright, I wasn't stupid. Even if the guy was fucking sexy as hell, I didn't know a thing about him. My parents warned me not to fall prey to dorm-rape, a conversation made even more awkward by the fact that I'm gay. They aren't thrilled by my choices, but they aren't against me. I think they don't want to pile any more bad crap on top of my disability, so they didn't fight me about my sexuality, my hair style, or my college decisions.

I shook my head no to his offer. He tried to persuade me, but I stood my ground. But to show him that I wasn't rejecting, because I would have to be crazy to do that, I wrote out for him to find me on Facebook and I wrote out my name. He smiled and nodded.

I stood to go, and he did too.

"Let me walk you back to your dorm, babe."

I know calling me babe probably wasn't special - he just met me and I bet he used that on everybody - but I was still blushing a bit as I led the way out of the coffee shop.

I regretted taking off his incredibly warm jacket when we got back to my dorm, it was so warm and comfy and it smelled strongly of his cologne. He didn't stare at my chest at all as I took off his jacket. Maybe he was a gentleman, or my chest just wasn't that impressive. He leaned in and gave me a peck on the cheek before taking his jacket. I blushed bright red. He smiled and winked at me before turning and walking off.

I went back up to my room, my cheeks still a bit warm. As soon as I opened the door, Jason turned his head and looked at me. He bit his lip, and I saw his eyes trail over me for a second before looking away. I was blushing head to toe now. I quickly bent down to grab a shirt from my drawer, and when I came back up I found Jason staring at me again. Payback for earlier, I guess.

I slipped on the shirt and sat on the bed. The awkward silence was bothering me, and I was deaf! I grabbed my notepad off the dresser and scribbled a note and gave it to him without looking him in the eyes: It never happened - Pretend that I didn't see anything and let's move on.

I watched him. His expression didn't change as he read the note. Then, he just got up and left.

I guess this was more awkward for him. It must have been embarrassing... even though he has absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. He is so... god, I can't even describe how hot his body is. It's intimidating how built he is. It should be a crime for him to hide all of that under his clothes. I wonder how many people have been lucky enough to see him naked. I wonder if I'm the only guy to see him. He doesn't seem confident enough with his sexuality to be intimate with other guys.

I'm a bit happy assuming that I'm the only guy to see all of him (I tried my best to keep my eyes above the belt, though). I don't know why, I guess I just feel special, and priviledged. But I'm just assuming things. He could have been with a ton of guys already, probably more than me since I've only sneaked around with a couple questioning boys in the neighborhood.

Maybe things would be easier on Jason if I wasn't his roommate. I don't think this incident brought us any closer.