Listen to Me

That was the longest car ride IN THE HISTORY OF CAR RIDES. Ashley kept arguing with Jonathon and it was annoying because Ashley makes a really ugly face when she's mad, and Jonathon gets frustrated and turns red - I don't like seeing him like that. Uncle Julius drove the van and my aunt and parents sat in the back seat near the trunk. Jon and I sat in the two seats in the middle of the van, and the U-Haul trailer was hitched to the van. I can tell that Jon was getting even more bothered by his family when he kept talking to his and my parents. He said
"I know" and
"I won't" and
"I will" a lot.
I guess they were nagging him about college.

He sighed and sunk down in his seat, pulling out his iPod. He put the earbuds in his ears and tuned out the rest of us. He uses that thing so often. I wonder what his music sounds like. He explained that the songs he listens to are "violent and harsh" but that doesn't really tell me anything. But I think he's a lot angrier on the inside then he's letting out.

I mimicked him, sighing and sinking down in my seat. I poked his head twice before he turned to me. I tilted my head, wearing my most innocence and curious expression. That always makes people go crazy. He smiled softly before taking out one earbud, as if I would say something to him, and discreetly pointed to the back of the van at our parents. I nodded and signed 'They only want to look out for you.' 'I know.' he replied, then sighed again and let his head hit the headrest.

I let him drift back to his music. There wasn't any talking after that, but the car ride lasted maybe three more hours. I WAS SO FREAKIN' BORED. I stupidly packed up all my books in the U-Haul, and you can only play Solitaire on your laptop so many times before you start to go insane with boredom.

FINALLY we arrived on campus. There were families and students all over the place. Vans were unloaded, hugs were given, and journeys were started. I couldn't wait to start mine.

We got out of the car and everyone immediately stretched. Ashley was busy playing with her cell phone. I don't think she even wanted to go on this road trip. I'm sure she'd much rather be back at home, having sex with her current boyfriend. I know she's my cousin, but I can't help but say she's "really loose".

I've never had a boyfriend. I guess people just don't have the patience to try learning sign language, or even give me the time of day. Deaf does not equal dead, so stop treating me like I don't exist.

I am determined to have at least one boyfriend in college, starting now.

I tapped Jon on the shoulder. 'When can we leave the family?'
He smirked. 'Not soon enough.'

We found our residence hall and brought our stuff up to the dorm. Our parents set down most of our luggage and took a view of the room. It was just as I expected, kinda small, two beds, a small window, a space empty of personality so far - it was a dream come true. But something was off - there was already someone else's stuff on one side of the room.

Jonathon looked at the rooming sheet in his hand, then made a face. He looked up at me, then our parents.

"We aren't in the same room." I read his lips.

Crap.

I mean, yeah, I wanted some freedom in college, but not from him! He was my best friend and the only one who understood me. Now I was gonna be stuck with some jerk, I bet.

"This has got to be a mistake." I'm sure my father was saying.

My parents and Jon's parents argued before Jon interrupted. He said something to them before signing to me: "I'll go to the housing office and get this straightened out."

He talked to the 'rents some more before them and Ashley left for a restaurant. Jon and I weren't hungry so we stayed behind. We went to the housing office. Of course he did all the talking while I just stood there, like a little kid. He politely spoke to the woman at the desk while she checked the computer. She said sorry before saying something else I could read. Jon sighed and turned to me to sign "There aren't any rooms left. We're stuck separated." I frowned. Sure, we were still in the same building, but it wasn't the same. How was I going to manage without him? I know I hate people doing everything for me, but Jon was the one person I would always depend on.

We went back up to the room, which was mine, and he stayed with me until my roommate showed up. He wanted to make sure the guy wasn't an asshole - another reason why I love my cousin.

We sat and talked, which wasn't as difficult as you would think - Jon's spent years learning how to sign so we could communicate. Still, our conversations are somewhat limited. We can talk about movies or TV shows if I've seen them with captions or subtitles, we can talk about books but he doesn't read nearly as much as I do. Sometimes we talk about dating, but I can tell it gets a little awkward for Jon because I'm gay and he's not, and he's had lots of relationships and I haven't had one. I really don't want to be single all my life, but I think we all worry that that's where my life is heading. We can't talk about music... well actually Jon is so animated when he talks about music, but I'll never understand why he loves the artists that he does.

I remember when we were kids, we started our own band - me, Jon, and Ashley. Jon played the guitar, Ashley sang, and I played drums. Ashley eventually got bored with it, but Jon and I would still play together. His parents thought it was cute. My parents weren't amused - they thought it was another painful reminder of what things I would never be able to fully experience. They told us not to play in our band anymore, but we still did when they weren't around. It wasn't about the music or whether we sounded good, it was about having fun together and bonding over something. My parents wouldn't understand - I've never bonded with anyone but Jon and my aunt and uncle.

Jon was starting to drift off to sleep when a guy walked into the room. Let me just say, my first impression of him: he was gorgeous. He had stunning hazel-green eyes, and long eyelashes that framed them perfectly. I caught myself staring at his lips, wondering if they were as soft as they looked. His short and shaggy brown hair fell over his forehead, stopping just at his neck. He had strong facial features, and his muscles peeking out through the short sleeves of his shirt. I was sitting down, but I could already tell he was at least a few inches taller than me. Like I said, I thought he was absolutely gorgeous.

He looked at us and smiled, then said something I couldn't read. Jon woke up and greeted the stranger and they talked for a minute before Jon relayed to me what they were saying. "He asked if we were his roommates and I told him that you were, and that I was your cousin who was staying in another dorm." I nodded while the guy looked a little confused.

I stood up and asked Jon to introduce myself to him. Jon stood and told him our names, and told him that I was deaf. He said "Oh" and looked a bit uncomfortable.

'Explain it to him.' I asked my cousin. He understood and started talking to the guy again, letting him know that I communicate through signing and that I was very good at reading lips, so it wasn't hard for me to keep up a conversation.
'I just want a normal college experience.' I signed and Jon translated.
The guy nodded and smiled, then stuck out his hand. I shook it and felt my whole body tingle. He said his name was Jason.

I had only ever tried speaking once, but from the faces people made, I assumed I didn't sound right at all. I thought about just mouthing the words I wanted to say, but it felt so strange and foreign for my mouth. I knew I was going to have a tough time talking to people, but I still wanted to have a regular college experience. I've been home-schooled my whole life, never had a boyfriend, only had one friend who's also my cousin... I just want to explore the world, try to see it how everyone else does.

"So, uh, you can read my lips right now?" Jason asked. I nodded. "Well, I guess that'll make things easier... still, I won't know what you're trying to say."
'I can teach you sign language.' I signed, Jon told him.
"Okay." He smiled.

I get to teach a sexy boy how to speak my language. X3

Jon said something to Jason and stepped out in the hallway. Jason smiled at me and followed him to the hallway. They closed the door behind them. Great, they are already excluding me. Ugh... knowing Jon, he'll have a good reason for it - he doesn't usually hide things from me.

Since I was stuck here in this room, I might as well unpack. Jason had his side of the room somewhat messy already. I wanted to be noisy but decided not to snoop - I didn't want to annoy my new roomie already, especially since I have every intention of making him my new boyfriend.

That was the problem with being deaf - meeting people is always a challenge. There are so many assholes in the world and very few nice people, and then out of the nice people there aren't that many deaf people, and I swear, if anyone can find me a nice deaf gay guy, then I would be set for life. I mean, I guess he wouldn't have to be deaf, it would just make things easier. I signed up for a sign language course offered at Dakrem, so maybe I'll find some sexy guys in that class.

I'm not entirely sure what I want to do in the future, but I hate being undecided, so for my major I just chose something I love - photography. I mean, I'm not a fanatic, but it is something that I've liked doing for a long time.

Jon and Jason came back in the room, smiling and talking. I guess they made friends fast.

'What were you talking about?' I asked Jon.
'Nothing. Just checking out what kind of person he is. I don't want to leave you with a jerk.'
I hugged my cousin. 'I can handle jerks. Go check out your dorm-room. We'll meet up later.'
He nodded, grabbed a few of his things, and left.

Jason was putting clothes into the closet. I wanted to say something, but I just realized I sent away my translator. Great. It's going to be a lot harder to flirt with this guy if I can't even talk to him.